I was at the supermarket the other week, by myself. Yep, it can and does happen. I was just doing a quick shop, so placed my basket of purchases on the conveyor belt thing. There was an older couple in front of me debating the merits of Fly Buys, but the husband quickly became distracted as soon as I put my basket down.
He walked over, stuck his head right into the basket and asked, “What are you buying then?”
Like seriously, his head was right in there. Not even a side-way glance, but an obvious whole body movement to inspect my goods and then he posed that question.
What do you say to that? What if it was lady products? Like an emergency supply of tampons and sanitary pads?
I just looked at him, smiled and said, “Just things.” He was satisfied with that and went back to chatting with his wife and the checkout lady.
People are nosy. Don’t you think? Part of me loves when people are friendly and conversational, the other part of me doesn’t want to have to explain the contents of my shopping backet.
And then it was just last week when I went to deposit a cheque at the bank, and when I did the teller asked, “So, what are you going to do with this money?”
I was a bit taken aback. She wasn’t whispering, and behind me was a line of people waiting to be served. What if I was using it for plastic surgery, new shoes or something… you know… personal?
I wasn’t. It was money loaned to us from my mother-in-law, so I told her the truth, “It’s for our house.”
I asked Hubby if he thought people were getting nosier, or if it was just me. “What do you mean?” he said, “You’re the queen of being nosy. You ask people questions all the time, and let’s not forget that time we went to dinner and you were nodding along, thinking you were part of the conversation of the people next to us.”
So perhaps people are nosy, but perhaps I’m also one of them.
I would have told the old man in the supermarket that you were buying condoms. That might have gotten rid of him quicker!
Ha ha ha! He probably would have asked if they were ribbed…
ROFL
I’ve just started a new job. My colleagues often talk between themselves and I try to join the conversation to be friendly and part of the team but I really feel like I’m butting in and being nosy at the moment. Hope it improves.
Oh, that can be tough starting a new job. I think you should butt in and be interested, that’s what makes a good conversationalist. All the best with it. xx
I also had an elderly gent look at the contents of my shopping trolley and ask if I was feeding a football team, when I laughed and said no, he said to his wife that it was ridiculous how much food I was buying! What the!
Mr. Judgey! How weird you have to kinda defend your shopping trolley? Cranky man!
It does bother me quite a bit when people ask what you’re doing with money…it feels judgey not just nosey and like they’re comparing themselves to you and bragging if they have more money. The grocery store thing wouldn’t have bothered me just because I love grocery shopping and meal planning and cooking/baking so I’m always open to sharing what I’m making 🙂
Yeah, I’ve always thought of that as something pretty private. Money was that one thing you didn’t get nosey about.
people are fascinating. I’ll never ask them anything, but just to know they go about asking shit they’ve no right to know is utterly fascinating. Don’t they know it’s weird?
Probably not! 😛
I despise nosiness. I completely agree, I think the barriers of social conventions/ niceties are breaking down slowly. My family are probably the worst culprits. My nanna pokes her nose into EVERYTHING, and it is often very embarrassing in a social situation. lol. Of course we let her get away with it because she is our Nanna!
Ha, Nanna’s do get away with everything. My beautiful Nanna has passed away, but she was perfect. Respectful, not too nosy.
My other Nanna has no tact. At my sister’s wedding as I was walking down the aisle past her, she said loudly, “Wow, Chantelle’s fat.”
I had to do everything not to cry up there while my sister was getting married.
oh, Chantelle! It always hurts but especially when it comes from loved ones, doesn’t it? I’m so sorry she wasn’t very tactful and felt free to make (loud) comments about your body. And at your sister’s wedding too! 🙁
i was in line one time at the bank and the teller asked an old lady in front of me if she was planning a big shopping trip with her cash, the old lady burst into tears and said “no, i’m burying my husband next week”
safe to say the teller felt guilty and the old lady felt devastated….i understand customer service, but there is a line…and asking people what they do with their money is insensitive and rude.
i feel like people are way to concerned for other peoples lives…..
i actually feel shoppers shame when i’m at the store and people glance in my trolley…i’m a bigger girl, and will not buy my chocolate stash at the store, rather send my husband to the expensive IGA, then feel judged by morons hahaha
Oh that’s so sad. 🙁
I understand the big girl shopping thing too. 🙁
I had a dr ask me the other day how old my baby was I replied three months and he said wow you are going to be busy with another one on the way!!!!!!! I was so shocked but I did reply that no my tummy looked like that because my baby was only three months old. Sooooo rude!
ROW! That’s just crazy. A doctor should know better. I am so annoyed for you.
I’ll never forget the day I was served at the supermarket checkout by a young guy – in his teens. It was Sunday morning, I don’t think I’d showered yet and instead of saying “how are you?” he opened with “so what do you do for a living?” …erm, OK…
Ba ha ha ha! What an odd question. He might need a social skills 101 class.
I don’t agree with it but I think the reason tellers ask what you’re using the money for is to try and sell you more products such as if you’re going on a holiday have you looked into our travel insurance or car insurance etc. They act like they’re being friendly but it’s about increasing profits I think.
I agree Carly; tellers often have to ask a certain number of questions to the customers throughout the day about the products offered. They could also be selling investments for the funds, or an appointment with a financial advisor, or check if you withdraw an amount to take to invest in another bank.
Ah, I thought she was just being nosy. I guess that makes sense. 🙂
I Write at a cafe most mornings and the young guy always want to talk about my iPhone and iPad and how much data I use and what I pay for my plan. When I was going through cancer treatment we pulled all our investments and I deposited them at the bank, the teller said ‘WOW, lucky you, what are you going to do with all that money?” I had no energy to humour so told her the truth “I’ve got cancer and can’t work, this is do we can keep going”…ummm lucky indeed
See, this is where it’s not right. That could have caused a downfall of emotions right there. You just want to sort out your money, and you have to get personal!
With a 92yo father in a nursing home, I’ve come to accept that the older people get, the thinner the filter between brain and mouth gets! It is equal parts refreshing and embarrassing.
(And as an ex banker, I suspect the teller was SUPPOSED to enquire whether you were considering investing your money – to meet their marketing targets – but made a right mess of it!)
Ah yes, I think you’re right. That filter does seem to slowly disappear with age. 🙂
I too have had my bank teller ask several times about what the money was for I was depositing/withdrawining. I couldn’t believe it, with a line up behind me I was hardly going to say what I was going to do with the bundle of cash I had! I think people are getting nosier! Hubby did the groceries yesterday and couldn’t believe how many people eyed off his trolley when he passed. Full of fruit and veges, he came home saying ‘I felt like I was being judged, am I healthy enough, am I buying the good thing?!’
people sometimes….ha!
See that there worries me, why are bank tellers announcing to the entire branch full of people who’s withdrawing what an making a big deal, it’s just putting them at risk of being mugged after leaving, especially if they’re elderly. Making an extra dollar is clearly more important than other peoples safety and well being, so disappointing!
I work in retail and every now & then someone will start asking personal questions. Usually whats your name, where do you live? Whens your birthday? Are you married? I find it very intrusive but i usually just tell them because i dont know what else to say. It worries me sometimes, like what if they want to know these things for a reason?
I work in the post office and when processing a passport, I’ll quite often strike up a convo with the person and ask them where they’re traveling to. Not trying to be nosy, purely trying to fill empty awkward spaces of nothing when you’re checking the details. I also like to ask little kids where they’re going and if they’re excited. The responses I get are 99% positive though!
It does appear as though he was being nosy but it’s possible he has dementia. My Mum had dementia & acting inappropriately is part of it. If you didn’t watch Mum she would tag along with other people! Just thought I’d mention the possibility
My nanna had dementia, and this guy seemed totally on the ball – so it didn’t appear to be that way. But I only know dementia in my nanna not in other people.
Either way, I didn’t mind. It’s just an observation. 🙂
It never fails to amuse and annoy me when people feel the need to make comments and ask questions about my shopping trolley, yes it is overflowing,(I do fortnightly shops) yes I am feeding an army -sort of (family of 6) but unless you’re paying for it keep your thoughts to yourself, or come help me pack it into bags into my car and then unpack it all when I get home.
Lol. I think it’s just human nature and it’s always been that way.
To be honest, I think so too!
I was reading this post late last night and had to stop myself from laughing out loud and waking up the whole house when I read how you thought you were part of the conversation at the table next to you. really laugh out loud not the lol of social media talk. People watching and listening can be a facinating past time.
I think Social Media has started a culture of being inquisitive as we share everything on SM from breakfasts to major life changing events although looking in shopping baskets and asking what you have bought has to be a new level of nosy.
I’m so nosy but covertly so. I would never be bold enough to ask someone something personal but I’m totally bold enough to listen in to people’s conversations. I was walking in front of a young couple talking about their date night the other day and I was fascinated, it was like being in a soap opera. I think I need to get out more!
I can’t believe that happened to you. Some people are way too nosy. I feel rude enough asking someone where they got their top/shoes etc that I admire.
one check out person asked me last year what I was going to buy my mum for mothers day that year, so I told her that my mum had just passed away, which she had, so her nosiness was NOT welcome. My response really shut her up, but for me it just spoilt my whole day as it brought back sad memories and the fact that my mum wouldnt be there for mothers day that year.
Did the old guy’s wife seem embarrassed by his behavior? Unless he was suffering from some kind of mental handicap, that is completely innapropriate.
I hate when tellers ask questions like that!!! (having the experience of being one, as a previous job) I know they do it here in the USA in order to see if they can use the information “to help you pick out other useful bank services”.
… My darling Mum is a sticky beak… she asks me questions about family , friends and neighbours that I have no answers for because I don’t ask personal questions of people … I figure if they want to tell me they will.. xxxx also she doesn’t like it when I tell her she’ll have to ask them herself……
As for looking in other peoples shopping trolleys.. I find that plain rude… xxxx
Hehe I have a visual image of you nodding along to the conversation at the table next to you!
I think the man was deplorably forward by sticking his face in your basket of shopping. Unfortunately I think that’s the way society is going. Don’t you think social media is pushing this? I never used to know or care the minutiae of my friends lives but now it’s immortalised in Hefe on Instagram for all to see.
Worst Thing about traveling in a non English speaking country can’t ears drop! I once overheard an adopted daughter and mother meet for the first time over a counter meal …….. Husband couldn’t understand why I wasn’t listening to his tractor tales lol!!
You’re right about banks, its actually apart of their kpis, however I also know if you are a regular etc they are just trying to help. No different to a retail assistant asking if you need a belt, so go easy on them as its a very different environment then what it use to be.
In regards to how’s your day, what are you buying your mum for mothers day or what do you do for work whilst I understand its taken you back (and in the case of your mother who passed brought up some unpleasant feelings) I honestly think its just people making conversation to pass the time, I know my local checkout girl is studying law 2nd year this year, we talk about my job and uni and her family etc… I’d prefer to have a half decent convo with someone then “so busy day today?” (On a Saturday no doubt)..
I enjoy cooking & planning meals so I’m always watching what others are picking up at the grocery store & imagining what they will be making. But I would never ask….& never put my face over someone’s basket & take a look.
One of the mums at school is well known for asking extremely personal questions. Like, you know how much your husband earns, if you parents are wealthy and how much you paid for your house! People are so shocked that they generally answer. She tried it on me recently and I politely told her it wasn’t any of her business. She hasn’t bothered with me again!
I was buying a pregnancy test once, and the girl behind the counter asked whether it would be good news or not. At that time I just found it nosy, but the longer it has been… What if it wouldn’t be good news?
🙂 I like this post , brings a smile on my face, but yeah, people are nosy and sometimes they think they have the right to ask certain questions that you don’t want to answer. I usually smile back and avoid to answer.
Ok I’m nosy too, but there is a line between making friendly conversation, and asking prying questions!
I like this post because I completely agree with it. One time, when I was younger, I went into the supermarket for my mum and a man asked m, “Aren’t ‘ya a bit young to be buying stuff for ye’self? ‘Yer parents must be dead, or very irresponsible.” No, it was just that my Mum was sick so I went in to get her groceries for her. People can be awfully rude and nosy sometimes 🙂
There’s nosy and then there’s totally out of line. Oh my goodness!
I wouldn’t call it nosey. Well I guess it is kind of! Haha. But some people are genuinely interested in other people’s lives. You know, small talk. They might me a SAHM who doesn’t get out much and is trying to make a new friend. Or an older person who sits at home most of the time who wants someone to talk to. Or maybe they can’t help it, maybe they have anxiety because they don’t know that they just HAVE to ask. ^-^ Haha.. I hope that makes sense. My brain isn’t what it used to be – and my youngest is 3! Eeep!
I think maybe some people are just bored with their own lives, that’s why I can be nosy! x
I’ve worked out the key difference is the fine line between taking a genuine interest in others and letting that interest override the basic human right to privacy. The problem is the line for everyone is different. My mother in law whenever she visits always pokes around the whole house/opens up drawers etc even in our personal ensuite. To me that is so far past the line its not funny (like you said what if there’s personal feminine things in there or you know the normal things a healthy young couple keep in bedside drawers) but when I bring it up she’s genuinely confused because to her she is honestly just looking around for things that need help tidying or that are getting old and might be a nice present to replace. Frustrating beyond belief but unfortunately part of life lol