So, this is what sleep feels like?

sleep{What? Taking photos of your kids sleeping is weird? Whoops}

When I was really tired. Actually, it wasn’t even tired it was absolutely sleep deprived I tried to be as positive as possible but when people complained about how tired they were when they’d had more sleep than me… well I probably laughed on the outside but on the inside… I was screaming.

And now I’m that almost smug person who IS getting sleep. I understand if you want to poke my eyes out with toothpicks. I get it. All I want to do in return is offer you the softest pillow in the world and a promise to hold your baby/toddler for a few hours while you just recharge.

It’s been three weeks since I got help with Luella’s sleeping. It feels like much longer than that. I keep getting asked how things are going, so it’s only right to report back, isn’t it?

A week and a half after Elaine came to help us we had to go up the coast for a trip. To be honest, I nearly cancelled. Sorting out the sleeping thing is a priority for me, but Hubby talked me out of cancelling. I was anxious, and everything started to crumble the first night when she grizzled most of the night. I think she just wanted to be in her own bed.

I thought she’d like going back to her old habits of feeding back to sleep, and sleeping in my arms/next to me/where ever worked… but she didn’t. She was just not happy.

So the next night I made everything just like home. I cancelled a dinner thing we’d had plans for, and I sent Hubby and Lacey out for ice creams while I put her to sleep. It was like she was thanking me for getting back to what she knew {her new sleep habits}. She went off to sleep quickly and stayed asleep all night {besides a few quick resettles}. I then made everyone sit in the dark for the rest of the night, not an easy feat when Luella goes to sleep at 6pm. We ate dinner by iPhone light.

The last night of our holiday was a mess, which then made me worry how hard it was going to be to get her back to sleep at home. I prepped Hubby, telling him that it was going to be the toughest night EVER the first night and that he needed to be awake when I was awake so I was supported. Well, like always, she surprised us and slept perfectly, and has since.

Getting help with Luella’s sleep, and teaching her to sleep, was the best investment I’ve made in our family. I will admit that I feel like a bit of a hermit, as I’m staying home a lot. I’m home for the big morning sleep, and home early for the night-time routine {which means we’re pretty just home all the time}. But it’s worth it. As she gets more and more settled in, we’ll be able to do more {I hope}. I know I’ll be looking back at this time when she’s going to one sleep, or dropping all day sleeps and wishing I was back here. So, grateful I am.

Selfishly can I tell you what a difference its made in me as a person? I feel different. There was most definitely a fog that hung around when I was sleep deprived. It was hard to finish conversations, or even start them. Everything was so much work. Something as simple as tidying up the linen press isn’t overwhelming. Before that task haunted me. And smaller tasks than that, returning emails, making phone calls, having conversations, making dinner, existing! Everything is a gazillion times harder when you’re sleep deprived, I tell you. That’s what it feels like. So many things are just too hard.

I remember things that happened now. Somebody recently asked me something about my life pre-sleep ‘training’ and I couldn’t reply, because I couldn’t remember. The things that happened pre-sleep are like a whole different world. My body has adjusted and I can sleep more than 4 hours a night, and I dream. DREAM. I haven’t dreamed in so long.

So that’s that. She sleeps. We sleep. I wouldn’t have predicted that I’d ever be at this point as a parent. Or be the parent with the routine. But here I am.

Do you do routine? Or do you wing it?

27 thoughts on “So, this is what sleep feels like?”

  1. Routine all the way, 4 and a half years and counting for my son! Obviously the routine changes as they get older in terms of timing and dropping a day sleep but it always works on a similar time line. Eat at 6pm, after dinner pack up toys while I run bath, then bathe, pj’s, teeth, say good nights, in bed read book. Lights out 7.15pm! I LOVE ROUTINE AND SO DOES HE!

  2. I went through a period of immense sleep deprivation a few years ago due to a number of factors and I cried at everything. Anything and everything would set me off. Even now I try to keep myself to a strict 8 hours per night at the same time. I even set my alarm on weekends so I don’t sleep in and throw it off.

  3. Yippee! Thats great news and I totally get it. My baby- 11 months- is now sleeping well through the night 🙂 🙂 yes, I am strict with routine. I have to be, it’s what works for him. I love sleep. My body and brain do too. Yay to sleep!!

  4. You feel like a new woman when you get some decent night’s sleep! I’ve been suffering insomnia due to being pregnant. I have my baby in a month’s time so I am hoping and praying that once bub arrives, I will be able to sleep better even if it’s every couple of hours. I’m also praying that bub is a good sleeper like the older sisters, but only time will tell. It’s so good to hear that you are getting some sleep. Onwards and upwards. Luella sounds like she’s doing really well. 🙂

  5. God, I so understand this post as I’ve been there. That sleep deprived stage very nearly destroyed me and our family (and I’m not over dramatising). It’s just so bad. And it’s not just waking up once or twice a night, it’s getting literally minutes of broken sleep.
    The hermit stage will pass as she needs to sleep less and all of this will be a hazy memory. I’m so happy for you, Telle. xx

  6. So pleased it worked!! Woo hoo! I’m a big believer in routine and I’m STILL not getting sleep. Humf. I just keep reminding myself that I will get some good zzz in soon! Wish me luck!

  7. I’m so happy for you. I have a routine with my 5 month old as well and it’s helped my husband and I lift that fog we’ve both had when she was a new born (and we new parents still didn’t know what we were doing).

    Here’s to more and more sleep for you and your little one!

    Maria
    cmntsblog.blogspot.com

  8. Such a wonderful article, thank you; it brought back so many memories. Like you, I didn’t ever think I would be THAT mum with the routine and staying at home for the sleeps, and being so pedantic about the 7pm bedtime. But…when she was almost three months, I started a routine and have never looked back. She’s now 1, and I can honestly say that it does get better. She’s down to one sleep now and on weekends we’re out and about all day and she’s happy enough to catch a few z’s in the car or pram. I’m more relaxed about being at family/friend’s houses after 7pm or grabbing dinner (at a child-friendly restaurant of course…). I’m so glad I persevered with the routine, as she sleeps from 7pm until 6:30am/7am, and for me, this is a godsend – particularly as I work full time.

  9. Yay Luella! Yay for Mom too! This story gives me hope. Keep up the good work ladies.

  10. I remember having the discussion with my mother when my baby was going through a rough trot with sleep , probably around 5 months old. I asked her did this happen to her or her friends. Her answer was “Not really”. Only when ( we ) the babies were unwell .
    I asked her why she thought this was the case and she simply replied , “that we didn’t go anywhere”. “We stayed home apart from our one day a week when we went grocery shopping.” Even then she said she was always home by mid morning.
    I took her advice and it works. It’s not rocket science. It truly works. Have a tight Routine= (Boring life) for that first year if possible and you will get sleep.

  11. With our now 5 yr old she put us in a routine herself two three hour sleeps a day and between 10 -12 hrs a night (on the negative side we were house bound for a yr)but now with her andher threesisters are older and have dance and swimming and 2 different schools to do drop off pick ups coupled with a very rocky start to life with doctor’s and hospital visits stays and surgeries we have no routine with our daughter who is turning 1 next week you are are right about tasks being harder but I also find everything’s harder to deal with emotionally too the old saying it’ll look better in the morning must definitely mean the morning after a good sleep.

  12. Thank you for these articles. My second baby is a few months older than Luella, and her sleep is awful. On a good night she will only wake every two hours – and sleep most if the night in bed with me. On a bad night she sleeps for 10 mins at a time until I finally give in and just hold her. I’m now back at work so three days a week I have to pretend to be a serious lawyer and read long and complicated documents which is proving impossible.

    Your posts are giving me hope that I can fix this. We’ve talked about getting a professional in but like you I don’t want her crying or distressed. But you’ve inspired me, I’m going to make the call next week. Thank you.

  13. I am so happy for you, I too can’t remember most of the last year – I’m not yet dreaming but I am finally sleeping again and it is bliss. have always winged it but my little man put an end to that. He wants to be at home, he loves being at home and he makes life impossible for me if I try to be anywhere else. So home we stay. He is so into routine that he wakes up, eats, plays, poops and crashes every morning. It’s hilarious. It’s hard to find things to blog about when you never leave the house but apart from that it’s pretty sweet!

  14. I hear you! Sleep deprivation really is a form of torture. I felt like I was walking around in a foggy haze for years. I’m only just getting out of it now and the world is a much easier place. Thanks for sharing your story.

  15. You give me so much hope. I’m stick in the thick of that fog and scratching up the walls for help. We started night training a week ago only for my older boy to get Croup and be in hospital for 2 nights and now my husband is away for the weekend (he resettled the babe) so we’re failing. I hope next week we can resume and make some progress. After 12 months I can’t sustain this anymore 🙁 but I’m happy for you !

  16. So happy to hear!! I am sure things will continue and you’ll be a well rested woman! You say much more relaxed already 🙂

    staceylives.blogspot.com

  17. I’m so happy for you! We did sleep training with all three of our kids (now 15, 12 & 8). It was rough at first, and very ‘hermit-y’ ;). But what a lovely gift to give to your kids. We see it even now. Kids that sleep great without fuss and are generally lovely children, ‘cuz there’s nothing worse than sleep deprived kids. Well done!

  18. Oh Chantelle. Such a wonderful post. It makes me wish I had been brave enough NOT to cancel sleep training all those years ago!

  19. I’m so glad you’re getting sleep! We did pick-up-put-down sleep training to get my little one into a good sleep routine, and I love her routine even if it means not being able to get out much during the day. Sleep is such a precious thing, for mum and bub so it’s great you are both getting some!

  20. I was a big fan of the routine. I needed it as much as the babies did!! Now my kids are older and I wish I was the one being put to bed early……

  21. Awesome! What great news, sleep is so valuable. Routine all the way. Never thought I’d be that kind of mum but with 2 kids 2 and under, it’s the only way I stay (somewhat) sane. I did my own form of sleep ‘bootcamp’ with both kids and haven’t looked back. As a result though, we are definitely the hermit family, home by 6.30pm so the kids are in bath and bed by 7pm. Winging it makes me anxious 🙂 What’s a year or so without lots of post-7pm family outings? Loads of years ahead for that. For now I choose my (and my babies!) sleep.

  22. I relate so much to this. I hardly remember Olivia newborn life. I’m still in that foggy daze of sleep deprivation and dream of having more than 2 hours straight! My body wouldn’t know what to do now I think lol. My blogging suffers because of my sleep deprivation… That really bothers me. Glad this worked for you Chantelle! It’s such a positive outcome 🙂 enjoy your babies and have some wicked dreams xx

  23. Where and how did you do this? I have a two month old baby boy who isn’t too bad when it comes to sleeping, it’s GETTING him to sleep. I have a lot of health issues and can’t always pick him up or feed him to sleep. BTW love the photo a day – best thing ever. Gar there’s the little man now – awake.

    • I live in between the Gold Coast and Byron Bay, and I had a lady come to my home overnight and help me. All I needed was one night.

      To get Luella to sleep, this is what we did.

      – First of all set up the room. I tie a sheet to the side of the cot so that she can’t see me. You can use a blanket or whatever.
      – Set up a routine of dinner, bath, bedroom {where I dress her, feed her and then get her ready for bed. i.e. no play}.
      – Once she’s dressed, I feed her. I do not let her fall asleep on the breast. This was hard at first. I just tickled her toes to keep her awake.
      – I then put her into a sleeping bag, kissed her, told her goodnight and place her into the cot.
      – I then sat on the floor, and put my arm through the bars {under the sheet that I previously tied to the cot} and I pat her. I don’t do the same patting, otherwise she gets used to it. I alternate patting her back, stroking her head, stroking her back, and patting the mattress.
      – If she gets worked up, I’ll ‘ssssshhhhh’ her.
      – If she gets too worked up, I pick her up and quiet her down and then lay her back down and start again.

      The first night took 13 minutes to get her to sleep.

      Now I don’t pat at all, I put her into bed, she grizzles a little bit and then she falls asleep.

      I hope that helps. xx

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