A magazine recently got in touch with me and wanted to do a piece on women being inspiring after children. I was intrigued. I think women can be inspiring before and after birthing little people from their bodies, and as a hopeless Oprah devotee I’m all for anything feel-good. So I replied and said I’d be keen to know more.
Having kids changed me. My drive changed. I didn’t want to waste time on things that didn’t really interest me, or feed my soul. I realised my time was precious, and I found my passion. I try to live inspired most days {except Fridays, because those days are just for eating sushi and willing the weekend to arrive}.
It also changed my body. My breasts have nourished my babies for over two years collectively now, which means they have also collectively dropped twice as much as I would like them to. I’m also the not-so-proud owner of bingo wings and tiger stripes. If this was a dating profile you’d pretty much be jumping through your computer screen to date me, wouldn’t you?
Hubby and I once heard a story on the radio about a buxom lady in far away England whose stove caught on fire. She wasn’t the owner of a fire blanket, so she whipped off her generously-sized knickers and put the fire out with those. Hubby and I looked at each other and burst into tears laughing, with a knowing look. I’ve got a pair of big knickers that could not only put out a stove-top fire, but a large house fire too.
I am actually learning to accept myself much more. This past month has been filled with insane levels of self growth. I usually run full-speed away when a camera is pointed at me, but with having reader lunches and speaking at conferences {where people take photos of you, eek} I just rolled with it. I did’t run. I stood, and posed and didn’t freak out. Well, maybe a little.
Last night I got an email back from the magazine telling me the details of the story. They just needed me to do a few simple things including: Strip down to your underwear and show off your post-baby body.
Awesome. I laughed internally {and even then parts of me jiggled}.
And then I put it to Twitter.
I got asked today if I’d like to strip down to my underwear for a magazine. I said no. Would you do it? #heckno
— Chantelle Ellem (@FatMumSlim) September 17, 2014
Some people said yes. A lot said no.
I wrote back to that magazine, after I’d stopped chuckling/jiggling and said that it wasn’t for me. I am learning to love me, but I’m learning to love me with clothes on. Baby steps people, baby steps.
But now I’m wondering, is it for you? Would you strip down to your underwear to tell your story?
photo credit: miss pupik
Ahhh definitely not, I’m not that confident and far too self conscious!!
Ain’t nobody got time for nude!
I like to think of myself as a “chunky spunk”….you know, with all the right junk in all the right places, but I would say no. Even without my lovely chunky bits, I would still say no.
I like that, “in all the right places”
Mine appear to be in all the wrong places. You’re one up on me. 😛
Telle you need to listen to the song “all about the bass” all about liking our bodies, my kiddies love it, even mason sings it.
I have. As I get more and more comfortable with myself – why not?
Bravo to you Jen. I wish I had your courage.
That’s a hard one!
On one hand, I think it’s great to see diversity out there, so younger girls can grow up knowing that no matter if they’re tall, short, pear shaped, apple shaped etc – everyone has their own body that they should love.
But on the other hand I do wonder why we hardly ever see mean getting their gear off to prove the same point.
For me, both women and men can show they’re inspiring, sexy, smart and funny without having to strip down to their undies.
I totally get it. I think it’s great for kids to see diversity, but they can see it when I’m wearing clothes, I hope. 😛
Chantelle, don’t you know? You’re beautiful! Outside and in!!
Ha, thanks!
I would say no also, and I totally respect you for saying no also!! Being confident doesn’t mean you can’t be comfortable anymore, and I respect you all the more for this. Truly, you’re one of my favorites, and I greatly admire your sharing these stories and letting us peek into how you’ve grown in confidence as well. xoxo!
Awww, thanks Marian. That means a lot. x
That’s a big No from me! Before kids I wouldn’t have done it either!
I hear ya!
It would be a good reason to buy new underwear (although, really, I should just buy new underwear because I do need it!) but even that doesn’t tempt me. Mind you, underwear shopping is in one of my circles of hell, too…
Yeah, I don’t find that very fun either… more a chore really!
My first reaction is a loud no. I had one baby at 24, and the second at 43. Now at 46, the body has began to wilt.
But then I went and made a cuppa tea and had a thought. I think Our answer should be yes. We should teach our children, both male and females, that this is what a real body looks like. So I think the answer is yes. But can I cheat and have my hair and make-up done?
And photoshop? 😛
Yes. I’m far from being a hunk, but as others have said I have a real body blemishes and all. When I was younger for men there was never a show of real men, just firemen haha and even they don’t match the calendars. I think we as a society need to start showing real people not skinny models.
That’s a really good point Reece. Really good.
no. I’m all for hi-fiving anyone that does do it, but I am a clothes on kinda girl.
This made me laugh! 🙂
For the sake of stripping down to my undies. No. For the sake of showing a post baby body. No. If there is a bigger story. Maybe.
As a budding photographer and a lover of people, the human body intrigues me. I would love to photograph people just to celebrate the differences that make us all the same. To be photographed….. I guess it’s a practice what you preach situation for me?!
Same. I’m not a photographer, but I’m constantly encouraging people to jump in the shot… I need to do the same myself.
I wouldn’t have done this before kids but now, having just turned 40, I would probably say “hell yeah!” Life and bodies and beauty are all entwined with my self esteem and I think it would be fabulous for mine. The underwear would want to be pretty rad though!
Isn’t it awesome that we grow more into ourselves as the years pass us by, and life is richer and more betterer? I am enjoying that.
Yes I would. I would go naked also. I would need to show my self in all my vulnerability and innocence along the telling of my story. It goes more than just stripping off or showing post baby bodies for me. Its a reclaiming of my body.
I’d consider doing something for myself {maybe, not sure!} but not for public scrutiny. I love the way you think though. It’s refreshing.
Thank you, I don’t know if its refreshing though. My body has grown and given birth to three, its been loved and cherished. Its also been scarred, coveted and claimed. For a long long time my body didn’t feel like mine but everyone else’s, the only time it didn’t feel like a traitor was when it was my children’s. It took me a long time to finally come to terms with many things and now I can say my body is mine and that only I own it. I claim it. Hell yeah I’d scream that to the world.
Maybe – it depends exactly what point the magazine was trying to make – and I’d want to see the photos before they went to print! Ha
Oh yes, that would definitely have to happen!
Perhaps if they put a paper bag over my head 😉 More seriously – I think there’s far too much emphasis on body image for women. Where are all the men showing off the beer guts they’ve acquired after becoming Dads?
Yes, why aren’t they? They’re well earned! 😛
You totally knew I was going to link to my blog post about being naked in Cosmo right?
http://www.danimezza.com/2011/09/danimezza-naked-in-cosmopolitan-health/
Agreed baby steps. I still can’t believe you’re a cover girl, I know you would have found that nerve-wrecking but I was so super duper proud of you, double fit pump style 😀
I thought of you!
Oh I was hoping you’d say yes!! (whoa, that came across a bit pervy!). I feel like I’d want to say yes if I was asked, but I’m not sure I’d have the courage to go through with it either! But you know what? I think the way that you’ve exposed your thoughts, feelings and personal experiences on your blog is way scarier/braver than being physically nude in soooo many ways, so you really don’t have anything to prove anyways! Pretty cool that they asked you regardless! You go girl! 😉
Thank you. I guess it is kinda scary too, that stuff I’ve shared.
I always admire the women in the Dove advert, they show over here in England, all shapes and sizes in their underwear, advertising how kind to the skin Dove products are. I would love to have the confidence to do that, but I am too self concious of my wobbly bits, my bingo arms, my huge stomach and thighs, my droopy breasts, so no I wouldn’t do it. :))
Possibly. Firstly, the publication would have to have some credibility. I wouldn’t for just any old mag. Secondly, I’m ok with my post-baby body (after three kiddies). It’s nowhere near perfect but seeing other women feeling comfortable in themselves always makes me feel a little less worried about the to and fro of the wobbly bit. It would make me feel great to know that I made at least one women feel better about her bod too.
I was also asked. Couldn’t strip down, got way too nervous xx
Oh you would be beautiful!
It was so much $$$ too, wasn’t it? 😛
I would! Totally.
I would be awkward as balls but I reckon the feeling afterwards would indescribable.
You are brave. I like you.
As a 45-year-old mother-of-two, depending on the magazine and depending on the slant to the story – yes, I would pose in my undies to show my post-baby body. On a side note, I work hard to help my two girls (7 and 12) to grow up loving their bodies just the way they are, and to make healthy choices with food and exercise. My acceptance of my own body and willingness to present myself as I am, I hope, will help develop their confidence too. Already my tall bean-pole eldest is coming home with issues from school – girls talk about weight (as if that is ANY indicator of ANYTHING), dress size (again! really?), and height (apparently short is cute), argh! Would I pose in my undies in a credible magazine driving acceptance of our many differences and showing the beauty of a post-baby (or no-baby) body in all forms? Yes.
Hell no! I’ve never had a spray tan because I don’t want to traumatise the spray tanner. Can’t even begin to imagine how horrific it would be for a photographer to have to see me in my underwear, let alone magazine readers!
I think you need to try a spray tan and blog about it. Please.
Hell to the NO!!!!!
I too love how you have shared your journey but I’m with you, no way Jose! I’m comfortable with my body, it’s the only one I’ve got and although I love it for all that it does for me, I wouldn’t be comfortable getting my kit off for a magazine. That is taking uncomfortable, and would need to take airbrushing to a whole new level!
I admire women who do it ,but no I probably wouldn’t either!
In 2001 Spencer Tunick known for his photos of mass nude people came to Melbourne. I along with hundreds of others went into the city early one morning, took all my clothes off and lay down on princess bridge. It was amazing to be surrounded by so many naked bodies all very different. I had at that stage given birth to and breastfed two of my babies so my body was certainly not at its peak.
I really don’t know what made me decide to do it. I never used to like having my photo taken fully clothed and I am certainly not an exhibitionist but one of my sisters has been anorexic for over 20 years so I think it is very important to show what real bodies look like, especially to teenagers who are exposed to so many “ideal body” images.
So in answer to your question yes I would do it although I would prefer it if I was not alone!
My body didn’t change much after having my babies (now 15 & 17), but it certainly rejected me when I turned 40! I suddenly put on 20kg and felt uncomfortable in my new skin. I didn’t know what to wear, how to wear it or how I felt. Six years on, I am a little lighter but my shape us not what I had before, I have realised I am more than my body shape and am starting to settle into ME.
Ah I’d have to say no I wouldn’t strip down to my underwear. Like you I’m learning to accept myself but there are things I’m not at all happy with and wouldn’t want the world seeing them either. However I love the fact that my body has carried, given birth to and nurtured four children.
No no no no and I’m not sure if I mentioned it, NO! A. getting nude in front if strangers to take the damn photos. NO. B. having them published abd be out there FOREVER. No no no NO!
I’m pretty OK with myself most of the time but four babies ( two in quick succession) have left me looking less than fresh so it’d be a no from me too
I indeed would. After birthing six children lover 23 years I am proud of all that my body has accomplished. I say bring on the skin
Not so much… not that I’m against it, it’s just not something I’m passionate about enough to be that vulnerable. If it were about breastfeeding I would definitely do it!
Also, the “women’s bodies post baby” has been done so much now. It’s been a great service to the mothering community, but I’m ready for the next thing we need to work on together!
See what is it with everyone wanting to see other baby bodies? I probably would do it, if my face wasn’t shown but not sure what it would achieve? My boobs are WAY down south after three kiddies, that is why I love the underwise bra, and those big-size ones from Bras In Paradise, BEST EVER! x
Hell no!
Ummm.. yeh I don’t think so!
No. Way.