Body after baby


If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you’ll probably know that my relationship with my body is a strained one. It’s one I haven’t written about in a while, and not one I’ve been as open about as in the past. Back when I began my blog it was all about my body and losing weight, but as my interests changed and my audience grew… my openess was less… open. I became guarded and protective of myself.

I went from starting a diet every Monday, and failing it by Wednesday, to realising that dieting just didn’t work for me. And then I struggled, because if not dieting, then what? I didn’t know life without dieting. This is my life. From an age much not older than Lacey is now, it was all about desiring a body other than the one that I was in.

After having Lacey I found a lone book tucked away in the parenting section of a bookshop I used to frequent. It was called My Body After Baby and it was pretty much the best parenting-type book I read in that first year. And I read a lot, particularly about solving sleep issues.

The book was filled with real stories of real women with real bodies after giving birth. {What is real anyway? Are there any women out there with fake bodies and fake stories?} Some people bounced back into shape and others didn’t. I wish I’d kept that book. I’d like to read it again now.

During my pregnancy with Luella I was pretty strict with my eating. I felt sick for over half of my pregnancy, so I wasn’t keen on food anyway, but I was really mindful to not put on weight like I did with Lacey. I actually lost weight and maintained it up until about 30 weeks. I felt good in my skin, not great {because that might require a miracle} but good.

And then there were those last 10 weeks. Slowly weight crept on, and I’d put on a handful of kilograms. It’s one thing I don’t love about being pregnant, those public weigh-ins at the hospital. You walk in, wait for your name to be called, step on the scales in front of the room full of pregnant women and their partners {and sometimes their parents and siblings and grandparents}. The nurse would scribble down the number, take your blood pressure and then you’d take a seat.

In those latter weeks of my pregnancy, I’d sigh as I got on the scales. I’d scan that list of numbers that the nurse and pray someone had a bigger number than I did. When there was, I’d give myself a mental high-five. It’s how my mind works.

My default mind frame is to hate my body into change. Look at you. You’re so pathetic. Lose some weight. Nobody could hate me more than I hate myself {well, my body} most days. I assume that by spurring myself on with poison-laced thoughts, I’ll make better choices and start running marathons. It’s such a toxic way to think.

I easily forget that my body carried a baby {two, in fact}. A healthy, beautiful baby. It grew her for almost 9 months, without a hiccup. All of her. Her perfect 10 fingers and toes, her little button nose, all of her perfectly formed organs and even that fluffy little hair. It birthed her, quickly and easily, without any drugs or instruments. It fed and nourished her for 11 months and still going strong. My body, even though I’ve shown it such resistance and dislike, has done amazing and beautiful things.

My body is scarred from growing those babies. Signs of growth and sagginess. It’s changed. For those first few days after birth, when it goes from hard and almost swollen to soft and floppy it feels almost foreign. I’d accidentally brush my hand over my empty stomach and it didn’t feel like it was part of me anymore. It’s an odd feeling to have. But it truly did amazing things. And those scars and signs of once growing a baby, are pretty amazing scars to bear.

Eleven months after giving birth to that beautiful baby, and now finally getting some sleep… my body feels tired. It feels neglected and unloved. My clothes are uncomfortable and I’m the same weight as when I walked out of the hospital. It feels uncomfortable and not very amazing at all.

I’ve always said that I love myself when… Or I’ll be enough when… Nothing feels good enough, not any achievement because the body I’m in doesn’t feel satisfactory. The other day someone called me inspiring, and I rolled my eyes. Inspiring? Not in this body of mine.

I know from experience that change doesn’t come from hate, or from regurgitating nastiness on a daily basis. Change comes from love. Go on, roll your eyes. It’s airy-fairy, but it’s true. I can’t hate this body into healthy. I can love it, nurture it, remind myself the amazing things it’s achieved and nourish it in the way it deserves.

I hope I can anyway. One day at a time.

Mamas, how do you feel about your body after baby {or babies}?

84 thoughts on “Body after baby”

  1. I hate it… It’s soft and flabby and after an emergency c-section with my 2nd, i’m rocking that lovely c-sect flap now too… I’m trying my best to move past it and go to the gym and do yoga and pilates and i’m finally starting to see changes… One day I will love myself again, one day…

  2. Chantelle, you are beautiful and have been able to bring two little girls into the world with that body of yours. cherish it look after it and don’t hate it. I have had two kids too, my little one is 4 and it is hard but i am working at it and trying to keep fit. We mothers need to love our bodies warts and all!

  3. My babies are 9 and 6 and today is a day where I hate my body – it most definately feels like a fat day! I’ve fallen out of love with exercise after a pretty intense six months of training for the Oxfam Trailwalk and three months on I’m in that can’t be arsed phase. Having just lost a friend to cancer in the last two days I’m also of the view that life is too short so don’t beat yourself up over it. You’ve given birth to two babies – using it for what it meant for.

      • Before I had my children ( a girl of 6 and boy of 4 month) I was pretty much fit and never did I have to think of any diets. I was a health size 8. Since my daughter I went up to size 14 and as much as I realise that a 14 is not big, I did look big especilly that I am only 5.6 tall. Tried dieting, not eating and very little exercise. I was a14 when I got pregnant with my second and again had a bad pregnancy and put a lot of weight on despite the fact I couldn’t eat much thoughtout. Now with both the kids and being in my early 30’s I have realised that dieting is not for me.In between having children I felt down about my body and it did consume a lot of my time when I should have been enjoying my life.It’s time I appreciated my body and the healthy life style is the only option for me. So by eating healthy and in moderation & plenty of exercises and activities ( which is not hard having two kids and a household to run) I am finally losing the weight. I don’t know if I will ever go back to size 8 but that’s not the focus for me any more.

        • I think that’s the attitude to have, and dieting never worked for me. I have lost a lot of weight before, and it happened when I just ignored it and got busy living {which involved enjoying good food, listening to my body when it was full, and exercising}. I need to get into that happy place again. Thanks for sharing your story. x

  4. Chantelle, from just the very little a stranger can know of you, you are an inspiration. You are beautiful and string, and a go getter. I wish us women would stop beating ourselves up about our bodies. They do indeed make it possible for us to grow, carry, and care for our babies. And that is a huge thing. I understand every word you wrote and have more than enough body issues of my own, but from one mum to another, go easy on yourself. Would you want your daughters to feel about their own beautiful bodies the way you do? No, and none of us should either.

    We’re women and mothers, hear us roar and all that!

  5. Weird. it feels weird. I feel better now that the pregnancy/breastfeeding days are over, as they were brutal. There was nothing left of me. I’ve put on some much-needed weight, but I still can’t find clothes that fit properly, and the whole no sleeping thing means i feel meh a lot of the time. But we’re getting there. I can see that light at the end of the tunnel. Oh no, wait. That’s yoga.

  6. If a friend told you this exact story, you would tell her that’s she’s crazy and remind of her all the wonderful things about her. Yet we are so damn hard on ourselves. We look past our beauty and go straight to our flaws. We look at our friends and family and admire them and think they’re beautiful in their own unique way, but we hardly ever think that of ourselves. Perhaps we could find one thing to love about ourselves each day, so that slowly we will start to love everything. Today I’ll love my eyes; they are a beautiful greeny blue and allow me to see my children each and every day. What do you love about yourself today? x

    • This is so true Helena. I would whip my friend into shape and talk some sense into her.

      I love my hands today. They’re strong and capable. Thank you. x

  7. Hey, put it out of your mind, Chantelle.

    I’ve had stretch marks since i was about 14 (but never been overweight).
    And I’ve hated them, avoided swimsuits (very hard when i grew up by the beach with beach-loving friends), hid my body whenever i could and spent too much time searching for knickers & swimsuits that cover those areas (which after a few decades I’ve realised is impossible unless one gets a berkini!).

    And then as i was getting older i disliked seeing crinkles and wrinkles… so i would duck out of photographs (which looking back was a stupid idea – because now i don’t have a nice photographic record of days past).

    NOW i’m a number of decades older, I’ve realised that you never really look better than ‘current day’… That is – be happy with what you’ve got (sure, do exercise and keep to a reasonable weight) – because as we age other things um, start looking not as good too.

    I’ve got 20-year-old (slim) neices that are complaining of cellulite, hiding it, not going to the beach, attempting anything to get rid of it – and not wanting photographs. Imagine how they’ll be at 35 or 45 – looking back at their lives – with a few wrinkles, probably a few more dimples… and no photographs to remind them of their journeys thru life.

    I wish someone had pointed out the obvious to me when i was younger.

    And although my vanity would have been hard to overcome, i recon i would have cut myself a bit of slack!

  8. I have had body / weight issues my entire adult life, made worse after an emergency c-section / hysterectomy 4 years ago. I have always declined / delayed / avoided things because of my weight, and despite trying all the diets, I was never able to commit.

    I don’t know what it was, but in January this year something changed. Something just snapped inside of me. I was sick and tired of feeling, well, sick and tired. After many tears, I walked into a local Slimming World group and took (another) first step. Fast forward 8 months to now, and I’ve lost 43 lbs. I’m not yet where I want to be, but I’m a million miles from where I started. Physically and emotionally.

    For the first time in forever, I am just beginning to like what I see. I’m wanting to go clothes shopping and not hide in baggy clothes. I wish I could bottle up this feeling and share it with people just starting, or thinking of starting on their journey.

    It hurts so bad when you are unhappy with your body. I so totally understand. But don’t look at the end goal of where you want to be, or all that you are unhappy with. Try focusing on just one thing you want to change by this time next week. Lose 1 lb? Get a mani/pedi? Buy a great fitting outfit? One small goal, one week at a time. It works, I promise.

    • Oh, I remember that awesome feeling of loving clothes shopping and looking good in stuff. I remember that.

      And I love that one thing at a time mindset. Good idea. x

  9. In Hind sight I probably wouldn’t be any different anyway. I was so sick with all 3 that I lost average of 15 kgs. So weight wise I was better off. Well would have been if I’d kept it off. Any way it is what it is I don’t hate my body, I’m just not loving it.

  10. When I fell pregnant (or at least the time I stayed pregnant) I was the heaviest I’d ever been – & I’d never been happier in my own skin. Of course once the baby came out it was a different story. I don’t know what the answer is but I know some women look at me and think I look great – just as many of us look at you and only see your beauty. I just wish it was easier to see it ourselves. x

    • Yes! Lacey thinks I am the most beautiful person in the world. Imagine feeling that way about ourselves. OK, it might be overkill but it would be a step in the right direction. x

  11. Thank you for this. I’ve been feeling exactly this way today and you’ve expressed it so much more eloquently than I ever could. x

  12. I think I need to write a blog post after reading this. It is such a monumental journey and only now, 6 1/2 years after becoming a Mum for the first time and 3 years after welcoming my 2nd child, I am finally back to a Me I am happy with. Will link to you in my post xx. And hugs.

  13. I had an “I hate my body” day the other day when I spotted my 112kg and 5’4″, pear shaped frame in the mirror and it turned into an “I hate me and so does everybody else” day and I spiraled in to a vortex of depression and ugly ugly thoughts. My husband was so peaceful and loving and resistant to my mood. He didn’t work me out of my mood he supported me while I worked myself out of it. And I did it by doing what you’re doing. Reminding myself of all the amazing things my body has done! I’ve given birth, I’ve climbed a MASSIVE waterfall, and I’ve scuba dived under the ice of a frozen lake, and I did these things all whilst I was this size or heavier. I am capable, I am strong, and I am good. My body and it’s shape or size does not define me. But I am on a journey to better health, so I rendewed my gym membership (which I’d been putting off) and recommitted to my balanced food plan that still allows some of the good things in life. I do this because I want to enhance my life and my body, not change it or me, because I am beautiful, my body is strong, and I love me. Thank you for opening up this dialogue Chantelle. I hope that through it we can support each other and remind our women that we are all amazing and not defined by the number, size, shape of our bodies.

    • Beautifully said. My body is strong. I still have fitness levels that so that I can keep up with even my fit sister. Our bodies are amazing. I just need to love mine a little bit more.

  14. Not a mum but have had body image issues and depression.
    Exercise is not a primary method of weight loss but has many health benefits.
    I always feel better about my body when I’ve exercised, worked up a good sweat.
    If you are into dancing, that is great too.
    Not as a way of cancelling out calories but as another way of celebrating the abilities of your body.

    • Exactly! I like the way you think. I walk daily {most days} and it is good for EVERYTHING. And when I focus on the other benefits, I think it’s most rewarding.

      I am super uncoordinated but I totally dance at home. x

  15. Oh so similar here. I’ve never loved my body. It’s not done anything bad and it wash pretty handy on the sportsfield in years gone by, but I never felt love for it – do to think I ever hated it either though. I’ve had 4 babies – ranging in sizes and ranging in weight gains while growin them (I did a little cheer like you when I was weighed with #4 because I didn’t crack the three figures – if you don’t want to be weighed in front of people because of their reaction, you should see the nurses faces when you whack a few kegs on in the last few weeks and crack not just three figures but get into the teens of them like I did with the previous 3! Lol) and I did birth them and feed them but again, I didn’t LOVE my body for doing it – isn’t that what bodies are meant to do?
    I’ve never been a dieter because I fall off the wagon and frankly, life is too short to give up eating good food when it’s on offer (& I had too many friends decline amazing desserts or foods because they were ‘on a diet’ – eat the damn cake you’re in a three hatted restaurant and I haven’t seen you for 2yrs just enjoy the night for goodness sake!!)
    And so this story you’ve just written – I won’t say inspiring because I’m not sure if you want that – has made me feel normal. When so many people around me are spruiking body love or diets or how I should be inspired by my body’s feats, this piece just made me feel normal… Or at least not alone.
    I’m not sure I’ll ever love my body as much as my husband seems to (he can get all ‘but you grew our babies and fed them’ when I’m a bit meh about it but I’m always sure that had altered motives behind it lol) but I have started exercising recently because I always said to myself that I would never worry until I couldn’t carry my children out of danger – a couple of weeks ago I carried my sleeping 8yo in from the car and almost had a coronary! That was my turning point to just get my sh*t together. I can’t care that she is over 20kg because in my head I need to be able to carry her (& her siblings one at a time or all at once – trust me I’ve figured the logistics of how to load them up like I’m pack horse if I have to get them out of a house fire!) My baby is now 2.5 so I can’t use her as an excuse anymore – although she’s still pretty good as an excuse for wine consumption 😉
    And so thank you – you’ve made me feel normal.

    • Thank you for being so honest. And yes, I think if the house is ever on fire we’ll just make it work! I don’t know how, but somehow we’ll get them out. xxx

  16. Thankyou for this. I’m currently 37.5 weeks pregnant with my second and doing the nightly scan over my body, tummy in particular, looking at the newness of change that my current little fella is bringing. The silvery lines, the engorged veins pumping as much nutrient rich blood and ‘food’ as he needs. It’s a weird feeling and I am constantly seeking reassurance from my husband that it’s ok.
    When he arrives, and the swollen bits are a little less swollen, hubby says he will kiss all those ‘tracks’ (my first is a Jack and those are so labelled ‘Jack tracks’) in appreciation of the work my body has done to build our family.
    As it has taken us longer than planned to build our family, I will be forever grateful for the role my body has played in nurturing my boys for I was often led to believe it would not happen.
    I’m definitely no model and I will shape up as I run around after them but until then I will be gentle with my body as we actually grew a human!!!!! Such a wonderful gift to have been given

  17. When I was pregnant I was so convinced I’d never lose the weight after the baby that I went through my closet and threw EVERYTHING out. I didn’t want to be that Mum trying to squeeze back into her jeans after having a baby. Turns out, I did eventually lose the weight…and then some, but either way that’s not the point! Why do we give ourselves such a hard time? Who cares about post baby jeans?! Baby is 14 months and I realised I’ve not done any ‘planned’ exercise since she was born but instead I eat well (most the time) get enough sleep (finally!!!) and run around after her like a maniac, and so far that’s enough! I also haven’t weighed myself since before I was pregnant…I highly recommend not knowing your weight! It’s liberating! Ps: You ARE inspiring, and why do you have to be thin for you to be able to believe that?!

    • Yes, not knowing is the best thing for me. It IS liberating.

      And I don’t know the answer to your question, but seeing it being asked of me I realise how BLOODY RIDICULOUS it is! If one of my daughters said the same thing to me, I would whip them into shape and tell them to stop being so CRAZY.

  18. I don’t have babies, but I did have a big issue with my body for most of my life. The straining and starving and training and angst. But I won’t live like that anymore, I refuse to put the value of my life on a body that will never measure up to a perfect ideal that doesn’t exist. You know my blog, you know me, right? Well get over there and let me tell you something about body shame, it doesn’t just impact you, it impacts us all. It’s time mate, time for a big change in this department. It’s been too long. Enough is enough.

    With love as always, M x

  19. Sometimes its not just about having “happy thoughts”( i.e i had a baby with this body so i should love these scars of mine).. It’s also about blocking and distracting yourself from the thoughts, the comparisons, the images we see in the media, in magazines and social media and the expectations that we then place on ourselves about our ‘bodies after baby’, our bodies while we are pregnant or our bodies when we are 50. All we can do otherwise is eat well to nourish our bodies, try and maintain a healthy weight, do some regular exercise and most importantly – watch our thoughts. Ps – you’re an inspiration, hope one day you will see that.

  20. Change comes from within Telle. For me, when Elliott was nearly two, and I was the same, actually probably heavier than the day before he was born, I made a decision.

    That decision was to change, to change for me, because I wanted to change. Not to please anyone else, not to fit in to anyone elses ideals, but to feel good from the inside out, to be strong and healthy to cope with the demands of parenting my two little boys. To be the best role model I could be to them through eating well and maintaining a healthy body. For 6 months from that day I worked hard, changed habits and lost over 20kg. Elliott is now 6 and a half, and I have maintained that lifestyle that came from within.

    But guess what? I still have my battle scars, my stretch marks, saggy post-breastfeeding boobs, C/S scar. And like you say, that’s ok. They are proof of my super-powers, they remind me every day of the amazing things I am capable of. And while I am not too keen on showing them off to the general public (still can’t manage to get into a bikini), I am proud of those soft, saggy “imperfections” because I wouldn’t swap my boys for all the magazine-worthy flat stomaches and smooth skin in the world!

  21. I’m going through this same struggle at the moment. I expected that breast feeding would be the magic bullet to shedding those baby kilos, turns out I was wrong, very wrong! I’ve been at war with my reflection for a long time but earlier this week I made the decision to do what I can – eat well and move my body when I can. The fact that I’m not alone in this struggle is reassuring as it can feel very lonely at times. You don’t see yourself as an inspiration but opening up about a very personal matter takes courage and to me, that is inspirational! Thank you Chantelle and all the other ladies for sharing.

    • Oh yes, I thought breastfeeding would be that magic thing for me – but alas it just made me ravenous! Sending you a big hug through the internets. I hope you can feel it. x

  22. I’m 15 days away from having my second baby. I was over weight before I started & have managed to not put on any weight as I didn’t need it. It’s a scary place to be at when you can’t find maternity clothes that come in your size so you go up a couple of sizes in your normal clothes and then you find yourself at the last size that normal stores stock. Afraid of what happens once baby is here. Something needs to change clearly.

  23. My baby is turning 4 in 2 months and I am only now on track to losing my excess weight. I too have started a diet every Monday and fail. But I kept trying, every Monday, and eventually something has clicked and its stuck. I told myself that it didn’t matter if I failed, it mattered that I kept trying and didn’t just give up. Funny thing is, the more weight I lose, the more I hate my body as I see more and more flaws. It would be much easier if I could just accept and love myself no matter the size. sigh.

    • Oh gosh, isn’t that the pits. I know when I was at my slimmest as an adult, I didn’t really appreciate the way my body worked. I’m determined to love it now, and through the process to a healthier weight. Life is too short! xxx

  24. Chantelle, I think whoever said you were an inspiration wasn’t talking about your weight, rather about you the woman. If you can’t see and accept yourself as an inspiration for women all around the world I’m afraid you do have issues. Just look at the success of your new App and the enrollment numbers in your Clever Cookies blogging course, not to mention your blog, photo a day group, Instagram, Facebook & twitter. If you’re not an inspiration well I don’t know who is! I doubt what ever numbers fill your scales are too far from the 50’s or 60’s, when you get close to 100 things might be different but from your photos you look fantastic and as if you have a long way to go. Relax about your lumps and bumps and scars, eat well, move more, drink water and just accept yourself for who you are as none of us here think badly about you and you would be the first to whip us out of a downward ‘fat’ spiral!

    • Thanks Tanya. Of course I do have issues. There is no doubt. I’m owning it, and changing it. And I’m nowhere near 50/60. Thanks for your comment. xxx

      • Chantelle I think you look fabulous! Do you have a special lens on that camera of yours! Weight issues aside please tell me you do know you are an inspiration for us women all over the world with everything you have done?

  25. Oh I really relate to this! I’ve had a strained relationship with my body for as long as I can remember. When my husband and I got married (just over six years ago) I was at my ‘thinnest’ and I was also the happiest I’d ever been with my body. Once we had to turn to IVF to start our family, the weight started to creep on. Then add three pregnancies and 2 x c-sections all within 26 months and my poor body is a little worse for wear. Our youngest little man was due around the same time as Princess Kate & Kim Kardashian, and as crazy as it was during those early months I was comparing my weight to theirs and would feel down every time I saw another headline on how great they were looking, or how much weight they had lost.
    I think it’s all about confidence, feeling good about yourself inside and out. It’s a work in progress, but hopefully one day I will get there.
    Thank you for being so wonderful xx

  26. I don’t have babies (yet) but I’ve had issues with my weight and body image most of my life. I’m quite ‘curvy’ (not a euphemism) and the ideal shape has been straight up and down for a while so I struggled to see myself as beautiful against that standard.
    I’ve just recently started regular exercise, something which I’ve always been terrible at (Xtend Barre is my new exercise of choice – I blogged about it last week if you’re curious), and I’m really enjoying it. I haven’t really lost any weight but I feel better and I think I’m getting stronger and more toned, which is really the point of exercise I guess. Not to just lose weight for no gain in other areas.
    I’d like to have kids sometime soon so I want to get my body in the best shape possible for that. Hopefully I’ll be able to maintain some body positivity through all that and out the other side.

  27. My stomach still feels foreign too- where did that beautiful baby bump go? I’m left with a wobbly scarred mess, but I wouldn’t have it any other way! I think it’s way harder after your second baby- you really don’t have that ‘me’ time that you used to have and it’s a struggle every day. One day at a time hey…

  28. Dear Chantelle! Reading your posts makes me want to cry. There are so many women who feel the same as you. So, so, so many. It is a battle that millions of women face each day, and It needn’t be so.

    I used to hate my body like you said you do now. I am currently pregnant with my second bubba, and I now spend my days helping women like you shift their mindset and learn to love their bodies again, learning how to change their thought patterns and shift the emotional baggage and judgement so that they can nurture their bodies back to optimal health, just like you did when you were conscious that every thing you ate was making your baby’s cells.

    You can do this without torture or deprivation, in fact, the only way to do it that works in the long term is to do it with LOVE.

    If you’d like help with this, I’d love to help you. I am a qualified NLP Master Coach and hypnotherapist who has specialised in womens body image and holistic weight loss for over 10 years, since discovering how to end my own body battles and shed 30 kgs. Feel free to send me an email at, if you’re keen and we can work something out, you’re an inspiration to so many, I know that helping you with this could also ripple out to helping so many of the other women who follow you too. Either way I wish you all the best with it, please be compassionate with yourself on this journey, it’s the only way through. Kylie 🙂

    • Hey Kylie. I’ll send you an email today. I have done some great work on this stuff with Julie Parker – which helped. I just got out of that mindframe. Thanks for getting in touch. x

  29. I ruined my body way before having my son (extreme yoyo weight gain/weightloss) but it was still a shock the first few days after my c-section… the flabby tummy and scar overhang especially took me by surprise … not pretty. Horrible side effect of a csection no one told me about!

  30. I wrote up a whole comment and it disappeared. And now I’m sad because I liked what I said!! Grrrr.

    What I said was that you and I sound the same. I hate my body but I love it for what it gave me. 2 gorgeous girls. But this weight gain has brought me down. I cry all the time about it. My husband says I’m beautiful but I think he’s lying.

    I also fail miserably at diets and exercise too. I’m the “I want it now” type of person.

    You aren’t alone 🙂 hugs to you!

  31. Thanks so much for sharing Chantelle! I face this exact same struggle after two precious baby girls. My body feels completely foreign and I find myself hiding from the mirror so I can avoid catching my reflection. It’s funny that this intense dislike for my body isn’t enough to spur me into diet or exercise action, but I think you’re totally right, change comes out of love. Hate just leads to complete discouragement and demotivation. 🙂

  32. I’m with you, it’s more about being healthy so that we can be active grandparents right? I’ve been pretty touch on my body with what I’ve put in it and I reckon it’s only a matter of time before it sends me a signal to get my shit together and give it the respect it deserves. Lovely post xx

  33. I feel totally the same Chantelle. I’ve always struggled with my body and my weight, and I’ve found it hard to find what’s work. But I am definitely starting to come to the same realisation, that the only way I am going to change it is to love it. Running has been helping, but since I hurt my foot and haven’t been able to run, I’ve slipped back in to old ways and mindsets. One day (I hope!), I know I will win the battle though, and that is what keeps me pushing forward.

  34. I feel that same. 7 years after having my 1st son I still HATE my body just as much……. I know my body has done some amazing things – house my 2 sons, etc, etc. But sadly pregnancy has also done some not so nice things. I now am on life-long blood thinners due to complications that wouldn’t/won’t resolve of their own accord. But all in all I have it good, even if my mind doesn’t think so!! I know that if I keep up with the gymming 5 days a week & eating as healthy as I can one day I will be happy (to a point…..) & feel comfortable with this body. It is NEVER going to be what it was 7 years ago – but that is to be expected I guess, even though it kinda does suck huh.

  35. I feel neither here nor there about it. It was a gift those babies gave to me – I just don’t mind about it any more. I’m sort of objective. I know I’m fat and probs ugly, but it doesn’t weight me down like it might of pre-babies. I’ve got more important things to beat myself up about 🙂 x

  36. After my second I didn’t like how soft and jiggly my body felt. I wore lots of clothes to disguise my stomach etc. I have also always Ben someone who starts a diet on a Monday, and is off the diet about a day or two later- usually binging in all the food I wasn’t letting myself ear.
    After I had my third child last year I decided to take a different approach and ordered lite n easy for a couple of months so I didn’t need to think about food and concentrated on excersise when I could- not with the goal of losing weight but of becoming and feeling healthier. For me switching from focusing on weight and food to feeling healthier and more energetic was the key for me.
    I think also realised that I was so lucky that my body had grown and nurtured a third baby after two miscarriages prior to that pregnancy. It gave me a new respect and great fullness for my body.

  37. I’ve had four babies, the last two are only 12 months apart, so my body has done it’s fair share of stretching. Each pregnancy has been different & I’ve gained different amounts of weight. Each time it’s taken different lengths of time to lose the weight too. My body has never been the same since & has changed shape with each baby. I know that when I hit 3 months post baby I go into a bit of self loathing stage. My hair starts falling out, my skin looks dull from spending a lot of time indoors, I look & feel tired because all the pregnancy/new baby hormones are gone. I don’t hate myself but I get a bit down & feel a bit yuck.I do know it passes though. I know eventually I’ll go back to not worrying about my sagging belly ( my god it looks like a pre tummy tuck picture!), or floppy boobs ( breastfeeding ain’t been kind to them), or my hips that are as wide as the harbour bridge. Eventually I’ll be happy to just be healthy & getting around & those things won’t even register but I just have to wait this little period out.

  38. I’ve been saying that for years I have yet to successfully apply to myself in a long term format… it’s hard when the demons are just waiting for a slip up, a reason for you to fee less than.

  39. Hi Chantelle, this is a topic close to my heart and I’m pretty sure that it was me who called you “inspiring”, when I was applying for a seat the Versace event. I also mentioned your photo-a-day project has been life changing to me. Nine months ago, if you ran into me down the street (with my two boys under three in tow) you might have thought to yourself ‘WOW she has a banging body’. On the inside however I was complete wreck with anxiety through the roof, I couldn’t even drive my car without feeling like I was going to explode!!! My hormone after back-to-back pregnancies and breastfeeding where out of control!!! Depression naturally kicked in and the medication path was calling my name but deep-down I knew I needed to do the hard inner-work towards self-love. Instead of medication I started your project (in December 2013) to give me something to look forward to each day and to photographically journal my boys during this emotional time because I felt so out-of-body and not in the moment. My creative mind which had been lying dormant since school slowly began opening up and I started to love photography, finding the magic in the little moments, sharing with the amazingly supportive community you have created and loving myself in the process. Today my anxiety is completely manageable and I’m standing on the edge of launching my own project called “Love Yourself, Inspire The World”. And the irony in all of this is that my tool for doing this is with my background as a dietitian and Nutritional Cleansing Coach. Thank-you for inspiring me, I am forever grateful. Leah Alexander xx

  40. Hi Ladies,
    It is wonderful to see such an open and honest discussion here. It is no lie being pregnant can be pretty darn challenging, giving birth well that’s epic and then the amazingingly crazy journey begins where you raise a human being ! So yes finding time on that rollercoaster to focus on you and return to your pre baby body is more than challenging. Yep I understand as I am a Mum to 3 little ones plus I specialize in Pregnancy and Post Natal Fitness. And yes I also don’t love my body 100% and find it challenging to fit in my own exercise time (as I spend most of that time training others, juggling kidlets yep no nanny or daycare here…and too much time on Instagram

  41. I always told myself I’ll be happy when I got down to a certain size, I got there and you know what, the insecurities are still there

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