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From the uncalm…

Fat Mum Slim /


Where to start?

Last year after having Luella I did very little on this blog. I’d planned and scheduled and arranged guest posts so that I could enjoy lots of lovely time with my new baby, and that I did. A few times a year I talk to a life/business coach who has helped me go from doing a job I didn’t love very much at all, to working for myself {blogging full-time and freelance work too}. Without her I wouldn’t have taken the leap. I simply wasn’t brave enough.

She suggested, before I had Luella, that the quiet time after I gave birth would be great for reflecting, finding new passion for the blog and cooking up exciting new projects. And I did. Do you know that excited feeling you get, the passionate swirling of ideas inside your brain and the eager butterflies in your tummy? Yeah, that.

And then Christmas came, and with that comes the present buying, the list-writing, the entertaining, the wrapping, the cleaning, the get-togethers, the Christmas concerts, the graduations, the endless hours of breastfeeding, the excitable kidlet and an increased workload. I think I got burnt out.

I think I am burnt out. The butterflies have flown away and my head has stopped swirling {thankfully I went on a post-it note writing frenzy when I was in that moment! Thank goodness}. I have come to realise I just can’t do it all. And I most definitely can’t do it while a particular little person naps, or while another certain 5 year old really wants to do craft with me. I have to be honest, craft has won a lot these holidays {it’s a good thing, well until paint gets on the dining table and won’t come off. Help!}. My email inbox has lost.

I’ve stolen a few moments of time over the past week to write, and I’ve come up with nothing – a block. So I knew I had to write about the block so I could take a leap, jump and get over it. Plus, I’ve decided {as I mentioned before} that I can’t and don’t want to do it all. My theory is that something has to give when you try and do it all. A ball has to drop. So I’m going to get help. I haven’t yet decided what, I think I need help with behind the scenes blog stuff, and a cleaner now and then wouldn’t go astray either.

I have some really exciting things coming up this year, the App, a secret project launching next month, a blog makeover happening as I type and other little projects that are buzzing away too. But first I’m taking a little holiday at home, well a little bit up the coast. It’s a girly getaway; me, the girls, my sister and my sweet niece. Only a few days, but a change of scenery will be nice, as will not having to cook or clean {how constant is that stuff?}.

So that’s it. My burnt out brain dump. Insightful, wasn’t it?

Do you get help? Tell me your tricks for making life work better {i.e. more calmly}?

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  • Noelene

    If you can afford it go the cleaner or laundry etc my in laws did this when we had two under two saved our marriage and gave us breathing space ,now twenty years. Later I am going from part time to full time work am getting a cleaner again so the weekend can be with my husband and children (young adults ) .love noelene

  • Elaine from Nell & Oll

    I hear you! I hear you! I hear you! Im exactly the same right now … broken … Take it easy lovely xxxx

  • Frog Goose & Bear

    Quite insightful actually. I’ve had similar thoughts for the past year. Just can’t do it all. Reached breaking point. Got help (seriously do it!) . Slowed down (just a little, still have a long way to go) and trying to lower my perfectionistic expectations of myself and realise that I can follow my dreams, they just don’t have to happen all at once and right now. Have a wonderful time away and all the best with finding the right balance and breathing space for you and your family.

  • Donna Hilton

    You’re HUMAN my darling!! Aren’t we all!! It’s a crazy, crazy time of year for all let alone when you have littlies! You don’t have to be everything to everyone, just Mamma to them and find some time for you and Shane! They are the ONLY demands that MUST be met….the rest is incidental. If the washings not done today, it’ll be there tomorrow. You made a promise to yourself to loosen the reigns just a little and now maybe just a little more sweetheart. If you need help work out what you need, what’s practical and make it happen ( you know you can!) When things loom too much, as it sometimes does for us all, I take it a day at a time and if that’s too much, an hour at a time will do! Make some of those famous lists of yours and prioritise and you just may be surprised at how much of it really matters

  • I’ve had those same feelings recently. I think it’s because creative people tend to have so many things swirling around in their head at once. We want to do ALL THE IDEAS!
    One of my resolutions was to schedule a specific time each week for special projects – not time to work, not time to do blog posts, not TV watching – but time specifically to work on the special things I want to achieve. Then I limited those projects to a couple for the year so I don’t get burnt out trying to do them all in a small space of time.
    Can’t wait to see what you have coming up Chantelle – it all sounds amazing x

  • Il Tutto

    I think we are living in parallel universes. I wrote a very similar blog post this morning. I think its the age of our little Luella’s – its exhausting but Oh so rewarding at the same time. Enjoy your time away. Lucie x

  • Julie M

    I know exactly how you feel. 🙂 My girls are a little older now (5 & 2) so can sit and entertain themselves for a while, without interrupting me. But I remember after having no. 2, my then 2.9 year old wanted to do craft with me every breathing moment! I still have days when I don’t get all the housework done, or find myself escaping on to the computer to have a little time to myself from the girls. The only help I get is from my husband. I’d love to have a cleaner (or house organiser) to come and sort out my house for me, it can be a struggle, but I find when I have a little time to myself I have more energy and can focus better on things.

  • Kate James

    Lovely post Chantelle, thanks for your honesty. I’ve had my own business for 12 years now and have regularly been in the same place as you. About 5 years ago I hired a VA which helped enormously (I’m happy to share her details if you need a hand) and like you, I’ve taken the pressure off myself by not trying to do it all. The one thing that has probably helped the most though is meditation. I know it’s another thing to add to a busy day but it makes the world of difference – and helps my creativity.

    Have a lovely break and thanks again for your post.

  • Myrelle

    Thank You for your open words! I remember that time im my life clearly (but it wasn’t well), when my twins were born 18 months after their sister and I couldn’t even have a cuppa alone
    during the first two years.
    Get all the help You can afford. Delegate. The time with Your children is short and unlike dirty laundry it will not come back! Build memories for Your children by sharing experiences.

  • Erin Drummond

    You are amazing Chantelle! And you’re doing a wonderful job. I am in awe of you.

  • Sorry Chantelle, I have no advice on having more calm. I wish I did 🙂 I hope you enjoy your holiday away with the girls.

  • Lucy @ Bake Play Smile

    Good for you! I think it’s great you are taking a bit of time for yourself… very well deserved! Have an amazing girls getaway and sooo get a cleaner when you get back lol! xx

  • I do the same thing every January. I get all gung ho thinking about all the things I’m going to do and it seems that existing is hard enough. I’m a NINJA in June but in Janaury everything seems to take me twice as long. Just rest petal. January is a shite month for everyone.

  • I can relate so much, the pressure comes mostly from within, to ‘do it all!”. A few years ago as I was navigating the world of single parenting I admitted that I needed help, and I decided that the money spent on this was going to result in greater wellbeing for myself, and my little man. I have had a Mothers Helper for 1-2 days a week ever since, and it has changed my life. This is such an important role for women like us who have so many ideas, who want to make an impact and who have big dreams! She comes and takes care of the cleaning, spends time playing with B, takes him out for a walk, does the washing, folds the clothes, does some ironing, runs errands and generally does whatever will help me get on with the BIG things, the things that matter to me. I cannot recommend it enough xx

  • Anne

    One Moment Meditation by Martin Boroson is my tip!
    Meditation helps, but it often takes a lot of time. Martin Boroson explains some very interesting stuff about time and teaches you to ‘meditate in a moment’. There is a video on youtube as an introduction (One-Moment Meditation: “How to Meditate in a Moment”).

  • I can’t even keep track of the balls anymore, let alone keep them all in the air so I feel your pain. Now I just need to feel your courage to make the changes I want.
    I hope you can work it so you can focus on the things you love 🙂

  • Ellie Scarf

    You are incredible! I have a 5 month old daughter (around the same age as Luella?) and frankly making a cup of tea seems overwhelming sometimes. You are super mum 🙂

  • I have a cleaner,
    She is my third favourite person in the world.
    Hubby 1st, dogs 2nd then Karen. She makes my life possible.

    It’s a tough realisation that you can do and have it all. I had massive plans to use my break from work over Christmas to get serious about blogging. Do that Media Kit I’ve been promising myself since the re-brand. Actually order those business cards I designed. Get lots of posts done. It didn’t happen. and I learned to be OK with that. sometimes, doing nothing is OK – and I don’t think many people (women especially) ever really feel that it’s OK to do nothing.