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Letter to Luella: one & two months old

Fat Mum Slim /

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Dear Luella,

On your first night as my baby the nurse took you so I could sleep. As she carried you out of the room I wondered if I’d know your cry if I heard it, or if I’d even know which baby was mine if they put you in a baby line-up. I quickly drifted off to sleep {or passed out from sheer exhaustion} and woke now and then to the sound of babies crying around the hospital. ‘I don’t think that’s her,’ I thought to myself.

A little later I woke to the sound of a baby crying, no louder than the others and I knew it was you. I sat upright and waited, because somehow I knew you were hungry and they’d bring you back to me. And they did.

It amazes me that for 9 months while you grew inside me, I loved you unconditionally and yet I knew nothing about you. I didn’t know your name, the colour of your hair, what you looked like or what your cry sounded like. It was all a mystery, and then you arrived and I can’t imagine not knowing. In an instant after meeting you, you were my littlest girl.

I imagined baby number two would be a breeze, well… at least easier than baby number one. I imagined that there’d be less crying, less anxiety and I’d just know what to do and when to do it. I imagined you’d ease into life outside the womb happily.

I was slightly wrong. Life was a breeze for the first 3 days. You were chilled out and happy. I cried happy tears because I had my beautiful, calm baby. Seriously, those happy tears flowed. I wanted to soak you up and stop time, because you were just perfect and life was wonderful.

On the night of day 3 you got cranky, and I spent hours trying to make you calm again. The crankiness has stayed around a little, but you’re not any less perfect or wonderful. I’ve still cried those happy tears and wanted life to stand still so I could soak you up. That new baby smell, that sweet little body, and just everything about you.

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You already have your likes and dislikes sorted. You like staring at the ceiling fan {yep, forget fancy toys and mobiles the fan is what you want}, you adore foot massages, chilling out in the bath, being a nudie rudie and you love to feed. You dislike dummies, being in the car and being more than one metre away from your mama.

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And now you’re two months old you like to smile. You first smiled at Dada and I might have remarked, “What?! With all the hard work I put in and you give HIM the first smile? What’s with that?” And then we laughed. You will give me the first laugh and ‘I love you’ though, won’t you?

You adore your big sister, although sometimes she’s a little too enthusiastic with her cuddles, but I think you’re used to it. She’s going to be {and already is} an awesome big sister. She likes to pick you up {sometimes when I’m not looking, eek!}, sing you songs, change your nappy and share the bath tub with you.

You’ve only been here for 2 months, but it truly feels like forever. We’ve found our groove, albeit a little bumpy along the way.

I love you Miss Luella.
Love, Mama.

@Fatmumslim