If you had to eat your feelings, what would they taste like?

Over the weekend, everything went to crap.

My blog died and I wasn’t sure it could be revived. Now, I know when I say something like that there will always be someone that wants to put it into perspective for me. Let me just say I’ve put a gazillion years into this thing and I love it like it’s a third child {and it sleeps better, and doesn’t talk back so it might just be my favourite}. So, yes it’s a first world problem, but a problem nonetheless.

But it wasn’t even just the blog. My thongs broke at the markets. I made a beautiful avocado, cheese and tomato open toastie and as I picked it from the plate, it fell to the floor. I KNOW! And a handful of other things that I don’t want to remember.

Do you ever have those moments when you try to convince yourself that you’re not stressed, and you almost have yourself fooled? I was all like, ‘Oh I’m sweet. I don’t mind. It’s all good’. But really, inside my organs were going into overdrive as my body was stressing out. I drank Chamomile Tea {because the pack told me it helps with stress and it was too early for wine}, I also drank some Calm X {because I didn’t have valium. I joke!}. I distracted myself and played with my children, but I don’t think it was that successful because Lacey said to me, “Did you not get enough sleep last night or something?”

Hubby was working, so that made it even harder to stress out properly, which for the record is to go to my room, hide under the doona and cry. Big, fat, juicy, life-is-unfair tears. So I waited it out.

When he arrived home mid-afternoon I told him that I had to get out. Some might go to a bar and drink their sorrows, I went to the supermarket and did the grocery shopping, because I’m an a-grade nerd and grocery shopping without kids is the equivalent of a soothing holiday.

I was texting my friend Stacey, and she told me to go straight ahead and eat my feelings. I don’t need to be told twice, so with her utmost permission, I made plans to eat my feelings.

That was quite the big decision to make, what did my feelings want? I suggested to Stacey that it would most likely be chips and gravy, and she said I should promote it to potato gems and gravy. For the win.

Potato gems were out {sadly} but chips with gravy were in.

eat-your-feelings

Don’t call Jenny Craig, this isn’t something I usually do. Although by looking at me you might think differently. But GOD IT WAS GOOD.

I ate 5… 6, maybe seven small mouthfuls and loved every moment and then got rid of them {by rid of them meant I left them in the car accidentally and then threw them out at 9pm when I suddenly remembered them again}.

And because I’m me, I felt a little bit guilty so went walking for an hour afterwards. And I didn’t get attacked by plovers}.

walking

For the record, the walking felt better than the chip-eating… but it was a pretty close race.

I wish I had better coping mechanisms. I used to. It would take SO much to rattle me, and now… ugh. I just am not great. I kinda teeter between being fine and forgetting worries, and then being elbow-deep in near hysteria. I think it’s all internal. From the outside you probably wouldn’t know, except my more severe bitchy-resting face.

I went to bed that night, and my website looked it was alive again. And I was content. I gave myself a talking to for being a stress-head and vowed to never be so stressed again.

I woke to the brand new day. Hubby was at work again. The kids and I got our art and craft on {read: Lulu drew on every window in the house and I didn’t really care}, and I discovered at some point that my website was dead again. I was less hysterical and more like a duck {all calm above the water, all kicking like crazy underneath}.

I messaged Hubby at some point after lunch and suggested that I might need some me-time once he arrived home.

Oh god, I hate myself just reading this. Note to self: Calm the farm, lady.

So he arrived home and decided that he was taking the girls to the beach so I could be alone.

Then I gave myself a reality check, and realised life is more than my blog. So I put on my cossie and went to the beach with them. And it was one of my favourite afternoons ever. I forgot I even had a dead blog. What’s a blog, again?

beach

The moral to the story is: Eat your feelings, go for a walk and never say no to the beach.

The blog, as you can tell, is alive and kicking.

I shouldn’t have worried anyway, right?

If you were going to eat your feelings, with my permission, what would you go for?

34 thoughts on “If you had to eat your feelings, what would they taste like?”

  1. I loathe when people try to ‘put things into perspective’ for you – sure, there are bigger problems in the world, but at that particular moment in time, you’re feeling these feelings about this specific matter, and they are VALID. You should feel them, and not be made to feel worse for doing so even if it may not matter later. I’d flip my shit if my blog died! It’s important!

    On the matter of eating my feelings: Ice cream sundaes. God, how I love an ice cream sundae, becuase there is nothing that can’t be made better by the addition of sprinkles and a glace cherry. Or, if I’m very lucky, I get to go home and eat curried sausages and mash with my mum, because I still can’t get mine to taste as good as when she does it.

    I’m glad you feel better. There’s nothing the beach can’t fix.

      • Me too, my advice to myself and anyone around me having a stressful, meltdown moment is get it all out, allow yourself to have a mini meltdown, but set a limit on it. Eat some chips, not a buffet of chips, eat some chocolate, not the entire block. Go have a cry, scream, curl up in a ball, have a nap, but don’t become comatose. It only helps if you have a limit, otherwise it will consume you and turn into a full blown meltdown.

        My feelings taste like a strong coffee & some dark chocolate. Does anyone have feelings that taste like camomile and fresh fruit?

      • I remember whinging about a shitty work situation to a friend of mine, who then went on to tell me about the African orphanage she’d been volunteering at and how she was trying to raise money to open her own orphanage because of all the adorable African orphans and I immediately felt like the biggest dickhead on earth because baby African orphans!!!!
        But she said to me, quite frankly, “don’t apologise, everyone has worries and these are your worries and they’re valid. It’s not a competition.” you know, because she rescues baby orphans so of course she’s also the most understanding person in the world….

  2. Been there! Well not the whole blog breaking down bit but the ‘out of control stressed with a broken business website, kids needing me, overwhelmed by all the things I’ve said yes to and that need to flee my life just for a couple of hours’ bit.

    I DO have Valium for such moments (

  4. This sounds like me since my hubby had a major car crash at the start of the year. I’m now his full time nurse, work nights, looking after the kids, after school activities, not much time for me to grab a break. When I read the line about the duck, calm on the surface of the water but kicking madly underneath it hit home, thats me. Trying my best to be happy and calm on the outside but having a mental break down underneath it all. I don’t think it’s working very well as we hit the 4 month mark. My older boy has started asking me daily, whats wrong mum, you don’t seem yourself. Right now if I ate my feeling I’d be a spearmint thick shake and double quarter pounder gal and about 20 kilos heavier.

      • Your such a beautiful person Chantelle. Our families help out with baby sitting and school pick ups when we get stuck at hospital all day. We take each day as it comes. He is getting better and hopefully by the end of the year he should be almost recovered from the “fixable” injuries. Lots of operations to be had but because of his injuries we have to wait for one to heal to fix another. I keep telling myself its not all that bad could have been a lot worse. They didnt think he would make it through the first night and told me to prepare myself for the worst. Gave me a big scare but just so lucky he is still with us. Thats my positive in this not so nice situation but some days the weight of it all takes over and you get down.

  5. life motto right there! eat something yum, walk, get fresh seaside air and warm sunshine. Cures all the ills!

    excuse me while I frantically try to find crispy, hot, salty potato gems and gravyyyyyyyyy

  7. I remember when someone tried to ‘put something into perspective’ for me my BFF had this analogy: if you break a leg, and someone else breaks a smaller limb, let’s say an arm – does it hurt them any less because it’s seemingly smaller? Hell no – it bloody well hurts!

    I would have been rocking in a corner if I was you. This is your blog and your business. It’s also your space. Glad it’s back up and running xx

  8. I always try and put things into perspective for myself and I always play my trump card, like “this isn’t as bad as those two times you had cancer,” but sometimes even that doesn’t work so I go for the Trifecta of Happiness, a magical combination of running, chocolate and wine (but not all at the same time.) Poor you! Poor broken blog! But I’m so pleased it’s up and running! We should totally celebrate with cake! xx

  9. I would totally have a large bowl (bucket) of creamy bacon pasta right now this very second!! I’m a nerve wreck as our 10 week old puppy is learning his first hours of being home alone, and I can see from the puppy cam that he’s sneaked past the gate and upstairs again, and I’m stuck at work and can’t go check if he’s made it ok up the stairs (and hoping to all mighty powers that he doesn’t attempt to come down the stairs on his own). At least there’s no whining/barking/screaming coming from the mic, so I’m repeatedly telling myself he’s happily sleeping in our bedroom and that I’m worrying for nothing…

      • Oh he was fine, sitting on the wrong side of the gate and looking all innocent and “what took you so long?”. He’d chewed a little bit from our bed corner but no bigger damage 🙂 *phew*

        Seeing him through the puppy cam has turned out to be more nerve wrecking than ease my mind. “Ignorance is bliss” would sometimes be the wiser option 😀

  10. Mine would be a big ol`bowl of creamy pasta and/or a tub of B&J`s, the core ones. I`m currently stuck inside with 2 girls with fevers (5th day and counting..), so I`m totally surprised I haven`t had the need to gorge on those yet! (I did have a sneaky chocolate when I took some me-time reading a chic-lit in my bed after my husband came home from work though 😉 )

    I`m glad you`re blog wasn`t a goner and y`all had a great time at the beach (Oh gaawwd, I´m so ready for the summer!).

    • The sneaky time-out sounds like bliss. My girls were sick last week, all week long and I was so glad when they got better.

      Hopefully your crew are feeling chipper today. x

  11. First up, let’s talk a positive: Hello the Plovers didn’t get you!!!! You had a swim the beautiful ocean andddd you had chips with gravy! OMG three wins there baby!

    For me, I would eat maybe 4 Chocolate Paddle Pops cause I love them. I think in a previous lifetime I was maybe a Paddle Pop actually.

    Now the whole blog thing: Yes it’s a big deal, a huge deal. But you did the right thing and tried to keep busy whilst it all sorted itself out. Personally that’s why I think you should take another look at WP Curve. Dan from there is actually talking at ProBlogger this year 🙂

    Someday’s things just keep happening that piss us off. I will often say out loud “ohhh so you think you are all that and that you are going to win…. well ner ner ner cause watch this!” and other times I will say out loud “yep ok you win” and move on.

    Right now I would be happy with just not hacking my lungs up! But hey that’s me 😉 xxx

  12. I had a shit day yesterday…actually it’s been a full week of utter shit culminating last night in me screeching outa the driveway at breakneck speed….dark thoughts thumping in my head…instead of driving into something solid I drove straight to a cafe had a long black and raw chocolate cake…so my feelings are coffee n chocolate. Today was better x

  13. I seriously bawled my eyes out when my blog was down and it was only out for an hour or so. Did I want someone to put things into perspective for me then? Hell no!! I wanted chocolate and wine and to cry and scream and to just hide in the corner away from the world. I did not want to hear that ‘it could be worse’.

    I’m glad you had a wonderful afternoon at the beach – the beach and family would make anyone feel better. xo

  15. I had actually noticed that your blog was dead- and I had that moment where I thought, “Well, now what?”. The chips and gravy were a good choice, always choose chips and gravy for stress. Or killer brownies hahaha :’)

  16. I eat my feelings all the time nothing does it like chocolates and stodgy breads and food and then the guilt causes more eating and it is a vicious cycle of food eating. I hate when people put things into perspective with first world problems. We are currently going through absolutely terrible Xenophobic attacks in South Africa on foreign nationals, but that does not stop our everyday personal; business and life stresses. As terrible as it is, it does not stop the stress I have that my work computer crashed this morning.
    People who put problems into perspective for others are more often than not even more fickle themselves. Your blog is not only your baby, but also your business and for yours to crash could never compare to say mine crashing. You have thousands of followers who will be affected in some way, so stress as guilt free and as much as you like – from someone just putting life into perspective for you 😀 I actually blamed my Internet connection because I could not access your site, for a change it wasn’t to blame.
    PS Sorry about the whole blog post as a comment.

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