I wasn’t going to write about the Royals. But then I woke at 2am and couldn’t get it all out of my head. So… I’m writing about the Royals.
I watched the other morning as the Royal couple {Kate & Wills} emerged from the hospital with their new bundle, except that I wasn’t watching the TV… instead I was watching Facebook and Twitter. And I wasn’t just waiting for the photos of the sweet bundle of baby, I was waiting for something else… and then bingo, it arrived.
Becoming a mama is huge. I feel like I’ve written about it a million times before, but it’s just a big deal. The moment they hand you that baby, the world changes. Love at first sight happens and it’s overwhelming, and your world shifts a little. You see the world differently forever more. It’s epic.
As I saw photos of beautiful Kate, glowing just 24 hours after birthing that baby, I wondered what would be the ‘thing’. The thing that brought the illusion of perfection underdone. Because I knew the world was waiting for it, for their headlines and their news reports. They wanted… something. I willed them to not drop the baby. I hoped she wouldn’t have the perfect post-baby figure. I hoped for as much as normal as possible. Not for me, for them. For other mothers. I held my breath as they passed the baby from one parent to another in front of the world and hoped that his little head was supported, and there wasn’t a ‘situation’.
And then in my Facebook feed the criticisms started. At first it was one lone business complaining about the straps of the baby in the capsule, and then slowly as the hours passed it became more and more and more… until last night it felt like every single update was about the baby and the darn capsule.
You know what I was doing just 24 hours after giving birth? I was in ICU, hadn’t slept a wink for 72 hours, and my hair hadn’t seen shampoo or conditioner for, oh, about 4 days. It was an oil slick of sorts. I was bra-less, and didn’t intend on putting one on at any point in the near future. My baby had cried non-stop for the 24 hours since birthing her, my nipples hurt from trying to feed, and I knew in a matter of hours I had a Physio coming to teach me how to wee again. Yes, wee. The old lady across from me had wailed all night, afraid she was going to die.
On day 3 of becoming a mama, I had an appointment for a hearing test for Lacey. It was just down the hall of the hospital and around the corner. I’d misplaced the only pair of shoes that I’d brought with me {I later discovered that my husband had accidentally taken them with him down to the car} so I grabbed the baby in my arms and walked barefoot down the hall to my appointment. The nurse went into a spin, “You can’t walk with your baby in your arms. And where are your shoes? Your baby needs to be in her crib, and then you can wheel her in here. Go back and get your shoes and the crib.”
So I did. I didn’t realise there were rules. I was proud of myself for actually getting out of my room and down the hall. Lacey hated that darn crib and it was sure to make her scream. But anything to abide by the rules. I think I even put on a pair of Hubby’s sneakers just to get back into that appointment. What a sight it must have been.
Imagine if Kate had walked out barefoot, Wills with a tin of formula under his arm, and George with a little dummy in his mouth. Imagine if her milk had suddenly decided to come in as she stood in front of one of the biggest media gatherings ever. Imagine if she’d walked with a waddle, her post-birth privates still aching from the delivery. Imagine if she had her Physio beside her reminding her how to urinate, giving her tips for when she gets home. Imagine if she and her husband were navigating parenthood for the first time…
And if you’re looking for the newsflash, this is it: Yes, safety is paramount and important. Always. But if you’re a new mum, you will make mistakes. Some of them will be big, and some of them will be small. But you will make them. It’s inevitable.
I hope Kate is in bed right now, bra off {shoes off too}, adjusting to life as a new mama without the world watching on. Because it’s hard enough doing it in private, let alone with the rest of the world peering in.
photo credit: nicholasjon via photopin cc
Great post lovely. We’re about to have our second child and it’s so different this time round, I’m less anxious with more realistic expectations of motherhood and myself. I thought Kate and Wills were gorgeous, very proud young (Royal!) parents. I wish I looked as amazing as her 24 hours after giving birth!! I was a puffy mess! High 5 to pregnancy insomnia too, it’s 3am here. Yay. x x x
I fully agree!! I saw her standing there in heels and I ached for her. My hips and back hurt so bad after giving birth, I cannot imagine having to look that composed!!
having just had a baby 4 weeks ago, I was quite impressed by how well Kate was walking! lol I couldnt make it to the toilet without a nurse or my husband helping drag me in. I too hope she is able to be bra-less and more relaxed at home.
Well said. I agree about Kate being lovely; too bad the world has to focus on something unfortunate and darken the mood. Love your outlook :0}
Well said! I’m admiration of all mothers like you and the Duchess. It was a wonderful thing see! I certainly hope I can “woman up” like many when it comes my time. Lovely post! 😀
So SO well said. I can’t imagine having to be on such a high pedestal attempting to make absolutely no mistakes with your first born son. Do I enjoy children wailing in stores? No, but – listen. I’m at an age where I have to sympathize with the parents more so (even while not being a mother myself yet) — obviously no one says, “We’re going to the store now, I’d really appreciate it if you could cause a scene while we’re out…” but — it happens. Children aren’t the most predictable of characters, and I can only imagine that when you’re first learning? It’s overwhelming and there’s GOT to be multiple moments of, “What the heck have I gotten myself into here…?” — for EVERY new parent. Also, as the other article you linked stated – there wasn’t even a carseat for William when he was taken from the hospital – so, perhaps we should be patting Will and Kate on the back for having one in 2013? Hopefully they’re able to breathe a little easier these days and just hang out in their pajamas while enjoying their new baby.
I thought the entire thing was beautiful. I can’t imagine looking for something negative. I too was impressed by her composure and was surprised she said anything at all. She is not only going to be a great mother, but also an awesome wife, woman in the world, and royal! 🙂
Hoorah! Well said. That wee babe was going home in a bullet proof car with bullet proof windows PLUS security guards – it was probably highly unlikely Wills was going to have a car accident. And bless,his Dad drove them home just like any other Dad does with their newborn. Poor Kate did what the world wanted her to do, front up and show us the heir to the throne. She’s fairly remarkable if she can put up with all that palaver and with a smile on her face.
I don’t have children yet..but reading your real story is great to see. The truth in a crazy new world. Kate looked gorgeous..a little tired but amazing (thanks to her publicity peeps) I never noticed the car straps either. I too hope she is enjoying it right now..and in a way, I hope we don’t see her again for a while..to let them all settle in to their new lives
Yes yes yes – so well said. I loved how they did it – i felt so proud of them. Parenthood is such a steep learning curve and you already get alot of opinions thrown at you, let alone the whole world!
Imagine having the pressure on you to create an historic image just a day after giving birth. That photo of Kate and Wills and baby George on the steps of the hospital will be used in every Wills retrospective and every one of George’s birthdays and every major milestone and when he gets married, etc, etc. Yes she had hairstylists and people to help her look fabulous, but the fact she made to the hospital steps at all is amazing. One day after giving birth I was practicing walking again and was almost in the tears at the thought of pooing again.
Oh shit {literally} I forgot about the pooping. I have that to look forward to. Fun times!
If it’s any consolation – the idea of it was much more scary than the actual act itself 🙂
Well said, Chantelle. I am not a mum yet but I can only imagine what it’s like in the first few days/weeks/months. I can’t believe people can be so judgmental and I really, REALLY hope that Kate doesn’t see half the things I’ve seen written about her and William as parents at such an early stage. They were absolutely glowing when they left the hospital and I hope that nothing takes that glowy, shiny happiness away.
I was thinking the same thing, poor girl. She probably wished she could just come through those doors in a pair of tracky dacks or her pj’s and a dressing gown, but I’m sure she had people fussing over her and her hair before that appearance. Then again, I’m a bit weird after I have my babies. The next day I get out of bed, shower, blow dry my hair and put my face on. I remember once the doctor came in horrified because he thought I was trying to leave. I just said “No, I just wanted to feel like a person”. Except with baby number 6, that birth did me in for a week, definitely no make-up. Best of luck to Wills and Kate, they look totally in love with each other and their baby boy.
After the first 24 hours I did the same. I needed to feel normal, and I’m not a stay-in-my-PJs person anyway. I got dressed, did my hair and felt almost human.
But everyone does what works for them, and I when we all went to the lunch room to grab our lunches – some were in PJs, some in clothes… we’re all the same. 🙂
Well written, Chantelle! I couldn’t even walk 72 hours after giving birth, so I think she is doing wonderfully. Kate looks like she’s glowing, and didn’t look like she had the horrendous birth I did. And that’s a good thing. I wouldn’t wish my birth upon anyone.
I won’t ask what happened, because I’m in that stage known as denial.
I won’t share. Hearing yucky birth stories close to your due date doesn’t do you any favours. Been there!
Love this article. It all rings so true! I really hope they give them some peace now so they can enjoy their new life as parents.
Brilliant post!
Ah, I noticed the capsule straps and went “Yep, that’s England for you”. We travelled with our daughter at 6 months back to England to meet her UK Grandparents – and we’ve travelled many many times with both our children. The baby car seats are different. I have an internal freak out every time then just get on with it. Kate did well to get out within 24 hours! I do hope they are getting some peace with their beautiful baby.
I so felt for Kate. So brave to see the media on day 2. I was feeling and looking a bit haggard, and self-conscious about that tummy that still looks about 7 months pregnant despite the baby being out! I hope we don’t get any more pics of Kate and bub in the next 6 weeks….
i love ALL that you said, and that is such reality! And the only thing I thought of was when they walked out that the poor bugger was wearing bloody high heels. Man, just after giving birth she has to front the media and look perfect. They did so well. I bet they will long for some normalcy.
🙂 Yep! I noticed the straps; but they were in London – if you can drive anywhere faster than about 10 mph you’re doing well!!! 😀 And when William was born, did they even have a newborn car seat available to buy? My (now) 26 year old son was transported home from hospital as a newborn in a carry cot strapped onto the back seat, because newborn car seats were only just coming onto the market then, in the UK at least.
And while it must have felt like the end of the world to you at the time, I had to giggle at the thought of you wheeling a screaming newborn down a corridor wearing Hubby’s trainers… 😀 Don’t worry… you always do it better the second time around! Jude.x
Great post Chantelle. When I saw the images of her looking so beautiful and smiling in front of thousands (then the millions around the world) I wondered if there was a conversation back in the room beforehand… “Oh Will, do we really have to, can’t we just go out via the back? The thought of putting on make up and doing my hair, not not mention the whopping great maternity pad I’m wearing…what if my boobs leak…” etc. I too hope she’s staying in bed, without her bra, and that the future king of england is making her endless cups of peppermint tea while they figure out this whole motherhood gig together, away from the media.
What bothered me was the whole twitter-verse commenting “oooh, she’s got a little baby weight, doesn’t she?” Are you kidding me? She was 24 hours post-partum! All that internal stuff that supported a baby for 40 weeks doesn’t go away in 24 hours people! I too had TWO deliveries I wouldn’t want to wish on anyone else, and I thought Kate looked wonderful, even if that was the easiest delivery ever. Chantelle,when your time comes, you should just keep it real and find the joy.
YES. I was going to write a post on just this. It’s been on my mind for days now. As I looked at the pictures of her and Wills and heard all the criticisms around me, all I could think about was how she was WALKING out of the hospital within 24 hours of giving birth, in HEELS, in front of the WHOLE WORLD after the most momentous moment in her life…her parts were likely aching, her insides probably felt like they weighed a ton, she probably was gushing some blood just from walking and standing like she did. I mean, she had just freshly given birth. I would’ve just wanted to get the hell into that car as fast as I could have. They made one mistake within 24 hours of becoming parents and its all anyone could focus on.
Here, here! I think that being in the public eye so much would be the most awful thing. Well said Chantelle! x
I hope that Catherine finds 20 seconds in her crazy life to read this post, I was thinking exactly the same thing as I watched it unfold.
I agree with Mandles, I hope we don’t see Kate or baby George for a while so that she can actually be like a ‘normal’ Mum and find her feet without the whole world watching and waiting for her to make a mistake. We put enough pressure on ourselves as mum’s without the world judging you as well. Well written Chantelle, you always look at things a little differently to others and write honestly from the heart which is why so many people love you 🙂
Bravo. Lovely post.
I’m not a mum yet but I feel like I have all of your wisdom and support for when the time arrives! It is good to know about your experiences. What i learnt from this post is that everyone is unique and none are the same. How can we compare ourselves with others it is not even possible! Goodluck to everyone from Kate to Kate down the road who is giving birth soon, we’re all human and Chantelle I like when you spoke about mistakes, we all do it, especially when we’re new to a situation! Bring it on! Wear those sneakers, wear those tracky dacks, slap on make up if you want to! Confidence comes from with in! xxxx