I don’t know if you know, but Kate gave birth to the Royal Baby over the weekend. If you don’t know… well I want to live where you’re living, because that must be very nice. And quiet.
Anyway, Kate had her royal princess and she’s cute. I welcomed that baby news with open arms, because hasn’t the news been so much doom and gloom of late? That baby is cute. She’s so sweet and cute. {I’m NOT clucky AT ALL. No, not me}.
But I had to think, if you were currently pregnant with your first baby or trying for a baby… well you’d be forgiven for thinking that it was easy, wouldn’t you? You pop into hospital, pop out the baby and walk out and go home.
So easy.
I don’t want to be adding any doom and gloom to the world, but it isn’t that easy. After my first baby I didn’t stand up for a couple of hours because I was sure my brain was going to fall out through my nether regions. When I did finally walk it was like I’d been riding a horse non-stop for 176 hours. I waddled, gingerly.
I also had specks of blood in my hair, as well as truckloads of sweat, and I think veins had popped in my eyeballs from pushing for 3 hours.
But please, don’t let me scare you. I’m not trying to do that. If I was Kate I’d be asking for all the drugs, popping on a frock, asking for my team to do me up and getting out of there too. I’d just want to be in my own space, where every Tom, Dick and Harry wasn’t trying to find out the name of my baby and selling my secrets to the world.
Hospitals do that a lot now anyway, kindly suggest that you take that baby you just pushed from down there and take it home. I know my hospital wanted me to, and I actually wanted to be home where I could have my breasts out all the time and not have to worry about covering up for the sake of the person next to me.
Then I turned on the Logies and saw all the new mamas with their tiny waists and non-existent tummies in their beautiful frocks and I sighed. And as I sighed my baby weight that I’ve been holding on to for… like 7 years… gently wobbled, and kept wobbling as I reached for another piece of chocolate {it’s 70% cocoa, so it’s fine… trust me}. How good do those new mums look?
Are they wearing spanx? How are their boobs so perky and not leaking milk mid-paparazzi shot? HOW? I feel like I didn’t leave the house for those first 6 months, and I most definitely didn’t do my hair. Did I? It feels like I hibernated forever, wore maternity pads and had my breasts out feeding my little babies every minute of every day. That’s what it felt like. I’m sure the real reality was different. {Was it?}.
Everybody has a different reality post-baby. None is right. None is wrong. I just felt it should be known that some can pull off this magic, and others just can’t.
And that’s OK.
The Real Reality is whatever you need or want it to be, spanx or no spanx.
Thank you for telling how it is. Babies are amazingly beautiful, delighful smelling, delish little morsels. The proces of bringing them into the world or the weeks that follow can feel and look rough.
I think the important thing to remember is these gorgeous ladies didn’t just pull a frock out of their wardrobes and decide that’ll do, slap on some lippy and jump in the car. They have a TEAM of people to help them look a million bucks! And like any other new mum, they’d be most definitely reaching for a pair (or two!) of Spanx!
How does Carrie Bickmore even look like that? Holy moly she just looks sensational! How does that even happen?!? wowee!
Thanks for this Chantelle!! It’s good to hear as a soon to be first-time mum that there is a huge spectrum of post-birth normal.
My husband looked at Carrie Bickmore and said ‘where did her tummy go?’ – at least he has a realistic outlook which is good for me.
The hospital where I’ll be having my little one recommend staying between 3-5 days but they said to stay as long as I want and they won’t kick me out or pressure me to go home. Which is wonderful. A lot of my friends went home after 6 hours, but they gave birth in the busiest hospital here. At my hospital they usually only have one patient on the maternity ward at a time, and all the rooms are singles with their own bathroom and are quite private.
So I’ll be learning how to look after my little one and how to breastfeed in the comfort of a hospital where there are people I can ask stupid questions of, people who will feed me and take my bub if needed, where people can visit me and then not disturb me at home when I’m trying to settle in, and where I can take my time recovering and adjusting to a new normal. (Plus it will give my husband time to make sure the house is really clean, and well stocked with food before I come home!)
Can I just say how nice it is to see something positive about all of these women’s appearances! So much of what I read is critical of how they look. I’m not denying they have a lot of help but it doesn’t mean it’s Ok to shame them for their appearance. Same way that it is certainly not Ok to shame the yoga pants and baby spit up wearing mamas. Neither way is right or wrong, and neither way makes you a “real woman” as I saw one article say. So thank you!!
I heard that the press knew Kate was going home, because the hairdresser came! A hairdresser! For realz. I haven’t ever had a baby but I could barely walking just THINKING about it. And she was wearing heels! However, I did watch a bit of the Logies and some famous person who’s just had a baby (and whose name I can’t remember) came totally clean about the spanx. Which made me feel a lot better about my belly and the enormous chocolate baby inside of it!
Spanx are the best invention ever. I’m pretty sure it’s how celebs create cleavage, by relocating their abdomen skywards. They all looked so good!
Bahahaha! you are so funny. Thanks for the laugh.
I think everyone has been thinking the same thing today! I wrote a post earlier today on how I think Kate is pretty much a magical birthing fairy. I’m nearly 2y post-natal from the most recent child to exit my abdomen and seriously, I’m still not ready for cameras, clingy fabric and a red carpet and that’s even with the fact that I’m sure I’ve been to the hairdresser at least once during that time!
My first child, I spent 5 days at the hospital – begrudgedly- doing the right thing and waiting for my milk etc. When I left the hospital, in my of so glam pyjamas – the woman next door to me was also leaving – in full make up, hair and JEANS. Totally broke a piece of my soul.
2nd child I was able to leave after 5 hours…I said yes. Again I left in my pyjamas – a bit of a strut this time – I made sure that this time MY going home outfit had RUFFLES and was ALL BLACK. Winning.
I am positive Kate was running on adrenalin – either that or all the drugs. She looked gorgeous and even though I am not a huge fan of the royal family I really love them as a couple.
As for Carrie and Asher i would crumble to pieces under the pressure of frocking up for an event so soon after giving birth. My body is stil not ready – 3 years later!
I really appreciate this post. And as I was reading it, I had the thought that it would be horrible to be a celebrity and be constantly worried about being criticized for how you look immediately post-baby. These women, those fortunate in so many ways, don’t get to celebrate in the way I did. Which doesn’t necessarily sound celebratory, but 13 years out, I’m so glad I was able to enjoy my baby, not shower, not care about how I looked, not worry about the smooshy parts of my body.
Kate has to look perfect all the time. What a yucky amount of pressure.
Anyone else think Kate was probably going “Yep, I’m smiling… I’ve had my hair and make up done, touched up the chips in my manicure from digging my nails into Wills’ arm and I have a fresh maxi maternity pad on. Now someone please buckle my gorgeous daughter into her car seat so I can get in the damned car and kick these shoes off!” or was it just me?
I would think for sure she was saying that to herself, what a lot of pressure on her to come out looking “just so” …she did pick a great dress though, nice and loose and pretty to hide any belly ….but heels !!
I cried when I left the hospital with my first baby I wanted to stay in the hospital cocoon for as long as possible (was a nice hospital). Kate looked amazing and that baby is soooo cute but I bet as soon as she got home it was straight to bed and she won’t be surfacing in public for days. The logies ladies also look gorgeous was there some memo though about plunging cleavages being the go (not just for the new Mums they are rocking it, but for everyone!).
Your story is the reality of having children……..I would not have swapped the leaky boobs, sleepless nights, clothes that sre puked on for their bodies, perfect hair etc …….teams of nannies, nutrionists, personal trainers……….all taking your time and keeping you away from you baby. 🙂
I don’t even have a child yet wear spanx and struggle to shift the baby weight. At least as a mother with an adorable bub most other women have a gorgeous reason why they are like that! More power to them.
Yup we are all different, I’ve known women to give birth and look like they sprang back into shape before even leaving hospital. Not me…jelly n custard belly and leaky boobs. I still have that belly and my youngest is 27, different boobs though
Everyones story is so different and thanks for sharing yours Chantelle! There’s no right or wrong way to walk out of hospital after having a baby and it’s terrible mothers are vilified for not getting their post pregnancy bodies back overnight after growing and then pushing a tiny human being from their bodies! All bodies, should be celebrated 🙂
Sarah 🙂
Saloca in Wonderland
I’m pretty sure that Kate is a freak of nature! She handles so much crazy that us mere mortals couldn’t begin to cope with….and she does it with beautiful hair and a gorgeous smile. I didn’t stand up for 4 days after V, which also meant I didn’t see a mirror! I also wore PJs for at least the first month and couldn’t have cared less. My motto as a new Mama was ‘just do what you can’….slimming down to wear a Logies dress wasn’t one of them thank god!
It really confuses me that people honestly feel there is an expectation to (a) look like Kate, 12 hours after giving birth or (b) look at celebrities and think they should also look like that a few weeks after having a baby. These women are not a freak of nature, it is their life and their career to look this way. I know that sounds harsh but that is a reality. Most of us don’t look like that going into pregnancy, why would we expect to look like that coming out.
While I appreciate some people have difficult births, let’s just stop and think about the birth stories we hear. People love to talk about how horrible it was, took so long, hurt like hell, had ALL the drugs……maybe if people weren’t shamed into hiding positive birth stories, women would hear about nice births, that didn’t take 3 days, and needed no drugs – then they would start to have faith in their own bodies and not be scared of birth. Let’s tell each other we CAN do it. My guess is Kate had no drugs, because (make up and hair excluded) this IS how women look hours after a natural birth!
I had a natural birth the second time around and I felt awesome. Sadly I didn’t look like that and I still didn’t feel completely chipper.
I’m all for empowering women, but I think it goes both ways. I am empowered by reality.
I think when it comes to celebrities, like those at the Logies, looking good is part of their job description, and as such, exercise and beauty treatments are built in to their schedules, etc. I think it would be fairly easy to look good and pretend you feel good when you have the money and incentive to, and the option of having people come to you to make it happen.
In the case of Kate, it would have taken a lot of work from quite a few people to make her look as good as she did less than 12 hours after giving birth. Having said that, I’ve got friends who have looked that good after giving birth, simply because for them, washing and blow-drying their hair and applying make-up is what made them feel good, and so they did it. And that’s cool, whatever works, I say. Me? I lived in trackies and Pjs and maternity tops for the first 6 months after having both babies and I didn’t care because make-up and nice clothes wasn’t what makes me feel good, birth or not, and that’s ok too.
I have to say I did feel a million times better after having bub #2 than I did first time around, even though it was a much longer and harder induced labour. I think maybe because I knew what I was in for second time around, I wasn’t in such a state of shock! I bet my bottom dollar that the minute Kate got home she kicked off those heels and poured herself in to trackies and her comfy bed. If I could have left hospital the day my second was born I would have jumped at the chance, but the damn gestational diabetes and postpartum haemorrhage meant they wouldn’t let me leave until 2 days later, despite my protests. But I suppose with all of that learning they knew what was best 😉
I had to stop blaming my excess weight on my baby once she turned 21!!
I had both of my girls via c-section because my body wouldn’t let me have them naturally. I really don’t care how I gave birth or how they were born… A lot of women are against the drugs and they say natural is better because it’s less stress on the baby yada yada yada….
But I always said “I don’t care how they get here…. as long as they get here…” I only wish I could get the hang of breast feeding. Both of my girls wouldn’t latch for nothing. Oh well!
Every breastfeeding woman is different, while some mothers never leak, others can barely keep their nursing tops dry.
Leaking is unpredictable, unfortunately. Some moms leak only during the early weeks of breastfeeding while others leak for many months.Thats just how it is, not much we can do about it and im sure that celebrities have the same problems.
Last night I drove to netball with a screaming baby in the car {because the husband was without a car and so was going to drive them home whilst I played}. Because I had a sports bra on rather then a feeding bra, I leaked all over my shirt and smelt like milk the entire game… and my baby is 7 months old.
I work with post-baby women all the time and I am sorry to say some people can just look like the have not just had a baby! It happens! Some people are just blessed with good genes
For some It is possible.
For some it is not possible.
Each to their own. By effort or by genetics.
By hard work or by chance.
No judgement. No jealousy (well maybe a little).
Stories of births and tales of how quickly you left the hospital are not usually the topic at Kindergarten orientation or highschool graduation. These badges of honour fade.
Feel blessed that our children were BORN. That they’re healthy. Happy. And that they are ours! 🙂