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The grey area

Fat Mum Slim /


Parenting isn’t black and white.

It feels like we allow it to be sometimes. We let topics divide us. Co-sleeping. Formula. Breastfeeding. Controlled crying. Baby-wearing. Baby-led weaning. Stay at home. Go to work. And so on, and so forth.

Sometimes I let my children sleep with me. I’ve used formula. I have let my kids cry. I wear my children when it works. I let them explore food at their leisure. I stay at home, and I work. And I still breastfeed.

Yep, my daughter is old enough to walk, talk, have a full mouth of teeth {ouch} and ask for a feed when she wants it.

I’m not trying to make a statement. It’s not something I set out to intentionally do. It feels like just yesterday that my daughter was a newborn and I was struggling to produce milk, and here I am and she’s 18 months and I forgot to stop feeding her. I’m kinda embarrassed actually, in a proud {wow, my body did it} reluctant {oh, I wouldn’t mind having my body back to myself now please} way.

I saw an article the other day where a celebrity mother was spotted out feeding her toddler in public. And I read the comments.

Oh yes, I READ the comments. We all know the first rule of online is to not read the comments, but I did.

And immediately I felt guilty, guilty for still feeding my daughter.

But let’s not make this a post about my breasts, because nobody needs to read that.

Parenting is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and continue to do. It’s exhausting, constant {oh-so-constant}, demanding, and quite the wild ride.

Parenting has and continues to throw hurdles my way, that I didn’t expect. From the moment they’re born we have to make decisions. It’s not black and white. If you choose to breastfeed, it’s not like you’re standing on one side with your ‘tits’ out trying to make a statement. Some will, and thank you for standing up for us. But the majority are just trying to do our best to feed our small babies. Others have had difficulty in doing so, or have decided it’s not for them, and that’s that. We’re all going to parent differently. I pick a few things from column A, and a few from column B, and then often I’ll take a chance on column C. There’s no one way to parent.

What I’m trying to say is, that we’re all different, we’ll all make different decisions in parenting. We’re all doing the best we can. But there is one thing we can do. We can choose to behave in a way that either unites us or divides us. I don’t care how you feed your baby, as long as you’re happy and your baby is thriving. I don’t care if you wear your baby, or put him in a pram. I don’t care if you let him sleep in a cot, or snuggle up beside you. I trust that you’re making the best decisions for your family, and hope that you’ll respect that I’m doing the best I can with my own.

Parenting isn’t all black and white. It’s a lot of grey matter. That’s where I stand {in the grey where I do whatever I need to do to get through the days/weeks/months}, giving you a knowing smile to let you know that we’re all in this together.


Image source: BigStockPhoto