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That thing you do. {And yes, you most definitely do it}.

Fat Mum Slim /


Other people can be annoying, can’t they? And gross. I was driving along the other day and spotted a guy on the side of the ride place a finger over one nostril, blowing hard to release an onslaught of booger onto the pavement.

I gagged and, although alone, made audible noises of disgust. I wished I could unsee it, but I couldn’t.

I can’t handle bodily fluids unless they’re from my own offspring. Spitting grosses me out in equal amounts to boogers.

So, just as much as other people can be all kinds of gross, disgusting and annoying… I had a thought as I drove along… what if we’ve all got something that annoys other people? Mr. Snotty might think that’s completely normal, non-annoying behaviour. I’m sure he does.

In grade 3 I had an amazing, eclectic teacher who spurred creativity inside of me. Her name was Mrs. Pike. I didn’t quite appreciate her as much as I should have back then, but she was brilliant. She did things like change the table configuration every fortnight, she made us sit next to people we weren’t friends with and she had a lady come in from Malaysia to teach us how to carve roses from tomatoes. We were 9. She gave us knives. Oh the trust! One day, in a lesson, she sat us all down and told us something that blew my little mind. “There is nobody in this whole wide world who is perfect. Not one single person.”

I was gobsmacked. Of all the billions of people in the world, not one of those people were perfect? She put a sign up on our door to remind us. She embraced imperfection, and taught us to as well.

I do plenty of annoying things. I suck at grammar. I put commas where I shouldn’t and I make typos all the time. Hubby likes to point them out. I’m sure I’m slowly killing grammar-freaks out there. For that I apologise. Profusely. I am imperfect.

I also do this thing that frustrates Hubby to the point of almost divorce. OK, not quite… but I’m sure if I keep it up it might. As I move around the kitchen I open doors and drawers, and I don’t shut them. And then I leave. Most of the time Hubby cruises in and gently closes them, although it probably eats him up inside.

Other times I’ll hear him groan and shut them slightly louder as if to make a point. Last week he made a statement, shutting them loudly as stomped about the kitchen. “Point made!” I called from the bedroom.

“Why can’t you just shut them when you’ve finished?” He asked/requested/begged.

“I’ll try,” I promised.

A few seconds later I asked, “What if you just accepted that this is who I am, that I’m probably going to be doing this for the rest of my life and we just got on with life as it is?”

“Umm… no.”

It was worth a try.

What’s the one thing you do that annoys the heck out of others? Do you have a ‘thing’ that you do?

photo credit: seagers via photopin cc

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  • Sarah

    haha! i open jars of things and lids and dont put them back on properly! jonas has kinda accepted it but dosent understand why i do it. either do i!

  • …you could of course suggest he remove the doors altogether. But at the sight of disordered contents, he could put springs on them so they auto-close. Drawers could certainly work this way. And then kitchen harmony could once more resume 😉

    Have a (harmonious) festive holiday 🙂

  • Anita Neville

    I love that you tried – pure gold!

  • Lilybett

    I leave the leftover time on the microwave instead of pressing ‘stop’ again to switch back to the clock. Drives Lovely Husband bonkers.

    • My husband does that and it drives ME bonkers!!

  • tash olde

    doors open are nothing. I have a floordrobe and i am married to the king of wardrobe neat. I know it pisses him off, but hey, it’s my ONE fault in life. Ok, maybe not my only one….

  • No, I’m perfect. Kidding. I try to clean up after the hubs, when he isn’t done doing whatever it is he’s doing.

  • Mr BB is a total neatfreak. I do everything from leaving smudges of makeup on my doors to said leaving doors open – his least favourite is my tendency to forget about laundry in the washing machine and having to wash a load twice when I forget to move them before they get musty. I am WAY better than I used to be. It seems his anal nature is rubbing off on me…

  • Hubby hates that I correct the shopping list. I’m an editor and proofreader – I can’t help it. But when I correct his ‘brocolli’, ‘coliflower’ and ‘cinnammon’, I can see the smoke coming out of his ears!

  • Jo

    I find it kind of odd that out of the two blogs I’ve read today both of them reference “snot rockets”. I’m kind of leary about reading the other blogs in my feed.

    • Snot rockets? Permission to use this awesome description? Well, I promise not to talk about snot for another 42 days first…

      • Jo

        Permission granted! Although I can’t take credit for its origins. Maybe it’s an American thing. We’re classy like that.

  • I shake my foot when sitting down, my husband hates it!! But having said that he has a funny ankle that clicks every time he flexes it, drive me insane!! We still love each other xx

  • Emmy

    lol. i love this post – so hilarious, so true. the worst thing that i see all. the. time. is people cutting their nails or worst … cutting their toe nails on the ferry on the way to work. totally totally totally gross. anyhoo, my family have always complained that i “disappear” when the washing up needs to be done. I don’t buy it, but that’s what they say. I am definitely NOT perfect !


    • I have really sensitive skin – so washing up is bad for me. True.

      Feel free to borrow that line. x

      • Zoë Kira

        I actually have used that line that many times that at one point I started to ACTUALLY get a rash by the washing-up liquid (or what is it called?) Somehow I am now over it and just do the washing-up (or I flee..)

  • http;//

    I don’t dry the dishes..I don’t have the time but its annoys the goobers out of husband but said husband wont let me have a dishwasher so that’s his punishment..environmentally dried dishes that will sit and dry then be put away. I also apparently stir my coffee ‘to loud’ and bang the side of the cup with my teaspoon three times too many (drying the teaspoon to get all the coffee off the spoon of course) As he doesn’t drink a liquid of any sort other than water and milk he doesn’t understand its part of the ritual of making the coffee. Hitting the cup three times is like saying abra ca dabra..needless to say I do it louder when he is adds the extra bippty boppity boo…lol..x Deb

    • Nat

      I hit it twice. You are totally justified. 😛


    Laugh when I shouldn’t laugh. Cry for more then needed and wallow for hours. Pfffft – that’s just who I am and as much as I try and change it – I can’t. These habits are engrained in me.

    • Laughing in bad situations is what I do too. What’s with that? My friend lost her car and I fell into hysterics. She wasn’t so impressed.

  • K

    Ha, ha- so true! I’m actually also a “door leaver-opener” lol; drives my husband mad too. Even our 3 yo dutifully closes kitchen cupboards and occasionally drawers lol that mummy leaves ajar! Glad to know someone shares this quirk! I’m also (aghast to share!) terribly forgetful about brushing my teeth before bed. Gross I know. I do them after dinner and on waking but often totally forget before bed. Also drives hubby mad; nothing to do with hygiene (no “morning breath” I think from all the water & herbal teas!) but it irks him because he’s a creature of habit and every night; without fail it’s the last thing he does.

  • Tanya

    Haha! I do the door thing in the kitchen too, I’m just lucky I have a little 15month old who is obsessed with shutting doors so my imperfection is covered lol!

  • Claire Chadwick

    My husband does the cupboard/drawer thing too. Drives me batty. I’ll walk into the kitchen and be booby trapped by ajar doors. I give them a hard push with some big sighs to make my point {without being a nag of course!! lol}

    Sometimes when I’m struggling to fall asleep…or have a lot on my mind….I jitter my teeth together {usually in a musical melody or to a song’s beat}. Annoys the beejeesus out of my hubby. I don’t even know I’m doing it.


  • Claire

    “An onslaught of booger”?? Bahahaha 🙂

  • OMG, that’s so funny…my hubby does the same thing with cupboard doors. And I found out while staying with his sister this summer, she does it too! I’ve been with him for almost 20 years and have just learned to close and them say nothing, lol. I’m sure there is a long list things I do that annoy him…the way I load the dishwasher, for one.

  • Kim

    Oh, goodness, I can relate to this so much. My hubby leaves everything open, no matter how I beg him to close them, I could say I am a neat freak, beds have to be made a certain way, otherwise I will remake the bed before I get into it, Toilet paper has to be put on the holder the correct way, otherwise I do my lolly,

  • Lisa Barton-Collins

    I am constantly irritated by others, (such a crankypants!) and I am sure I irritate people around me. I wish I could be more zenlike, more calmly accepting…because Mrs Pike was right, everyone is gloriously imperfect. But I can’t!

    • The week before my period I’m that cranky pants. EVERYTHING annoys me. It’s gotten worse over the last couple of years. And then as soon as that week is over, I’m back to normal and those things don’t even hit my radar.

      • Grannie Sam

        Do you take Evening Primrose Oil? It helped me a lot so I wouldn’t be so annoying to everyone else!

  • MM

    My husband is entirely unable to change the loo roll when it runs out. He’ll get a new one out, use what he needs then balance it on top of the empty roll still on the holder! Aaargh!

    • I LOVE it.

    • My husband does this every time too, I threatened to start hiding the new toilet paper rolls if he did not stop!

  • twopointfivekids

    I constantly take food out of the microwave with ONE SECOND to go because the beeping annoys me. But (and here is the annoying bit) I dont reset the timer so when hubby wants to use the microwave HE has to reset it. Dives him batshit. Go figure.

  • lol so true. My husband does the drawer and door thing like you.Drives me bonkers. One thing that I know annoys him is when I leave the dish sponge in the sink and it gets covered up by all the dirty dishes. I do try though…… tee hee

  • Reading these comments had me laughing hysterically. I can’t stand it when my husband doesn’t refill the toilet paper roll. But he can’t stand the makeup smudges I leave on the bathroom towels. Haha

    • When he does get around to changing the paper, does he leave the empty roll sitting on the floor, by chance?

  • Tabitha

    I pop my bubble gum when chewing it. I never realize that I am actually doing it but it drives my husband and kids nuts!

  • Linda Jordan

    I just can’t quit biting my nails. I’ve literally been trying for 20 years to quit, it just doesn’t work.

  • I annoy my Hubby by stressing out about things that haven’t happened yet! But still I know that they are about to happen 🙂

  • Angela Vogt

    I really love reading your posts – you’re a great writer – your take on the world is refreshing and honest and brief – just the way I like it – merry christmas!

  • What I do to annoy: want everything to be perfect.

    What others do to annoy me: tailgate.

    PS: the cupboard thing – you are my husband!!!

    PPS: your gag reflex would be on constant if you visited China where spitting, snot-blowing and even whizzing in the street is the norm {footnote: I do love that place, though}

  • Apparently my small fault is that nothing I own has a home. I’m happy if the salt and pepper live somewhere in the pantry, hubby wants to know that they live on the third shelf, left hand side, in a tidy sandwich between the spices and the packet soup. Or whatever…

  • You know that annoying girl in SNL’s surprise party skit? That will be me. I am obnoxiously excited about a lot of things.

  • mei

    LOL! this is my favorite thread! reading the comments made me laugh so hard! i am a door-closer too, and it’s genetic, i bet! my 20 month old goes around the house closing cabinets, drawers and doors too 😀

  • charmaine

    My hubby wont tell what i do that annoys him in case i use it against him one day. Funny boy:) I would too:) Umm he does tell me off for stressing about things that could/should/may happen….thats anxiety for you.
    Open cupboards and doors, check. The loo roll in two loos and four people, check.

  • zanyside

    I can imagine you two arguing. Haha. Cute couple. 🙂 I’m always the complainer, it gets annoying sometimes so I kinda stop myself every now and then. Haha

  • Mum Talks Autism

    I have three boys with autism so I have loads of annoying behaviours in my home. Not necessarily all mine. 🙂

    I drive the boys nuts with how I have to make sure the house is locked up by checking it three times before I go to bed. (Even though I live in a small country town and am personal friends with the local law enforcement and know everyone in town lol) the other thing would be doors. I can’t stand doors ajar, especially when I’m in my room trying to go to sleep. I actually had a giggle when you were talking about you leaving the doors and drawers open in the kitchen. Lmao that would definitely drive me crazy. Lol.

    Hope you have a wonderful new year.

    • Best we not move in together. 😛

      Shane hates going to sleep with doors ajar {like wardrobes}. You two would be perfect together!

      • Mum Talks Autism

        Lol. Best we stay in seperate houses than. Shane could indeed be my dream man. Lol. Have a great day.

  • Rudelle Jade

    When I like a song, for the first few listens I sing the end if the lines- just the parts that I know, drives my sister crazy. One if us is usually driving. The alternative would be not to sing at all until I know the whole song…but that’s no fun!

    My husband leaves a bit of time on the microwave AND the microwave door open and I always ping it, shut it and ask him not to- I’m scared the door will shut on it’s own & it will microwave itself into smitherines!

  • SarahF

    I have a snot phobia too. cant stand it! One thing that REALLY peeves me off about my Hubby and I mean REALLY drives me nuts is he bites his fingernails RIGHT down as far as they will go! He sits there at night, making a hell of a rackit doing it too…. sucking, slurping etc. GROSS!

  • Oh well, your husband is still lucky to have you! If only he keeps that in mind. I am a troublemaker myself too. For example, I am very chaotic in everything I do. And clumsy. So clumsy.

  • great post! and your teacher sounds amazing! really goes to show how influential teachers can be and what a difference a good one can make.

  • Lmsandt

    My current one until i have my baby is chew ice. My hubby has been extremely patient but i know he is got to be so sick of it. He also hates me leaving the cupboards open.

  • Angela

    My husband constantly shakes his foot or rocks his leg. It’s never still except for when he is sound asleep.