It was so cute to watch her with other little girls. They so easily make friends. She’d say, “My name is Lacey. Look what I can do!” and then they were friends.
After an hour or so of splashing about it, the sun was getting hot and it was time to go home. Of course Lacey didn’t want to leave. There were tears, but I carried her home and up the hill on my shoulders and the tears eventually subsided. She talked about the pool all day, so that afternoon when Hubby got home from work, we took her back to the pool again.
Again, after a big play in the water, it was time to go home for dinner. This time the tears about leaving were bigger. She screamed, she kicked, she made a fuss. We’re not good with public tantrums. We’re not good with people watching us coping {or not coping} with the tantrum. We got flustered and asked her not to cry. We threatened with no ice-creams and taking stickers away. I saw a celebrity couple sitting nearby, judging our parenting skills.
The next day, forgetting the tantrums of the day before, we took her again. The tantrums were just as big and just as embarrassing.
The day after that we decided we wouldn’t talk about the pool. When she finally asked about it we replied with, “Not today, there’s an octopus in the pool.” She turned up her nose and believed us.
The next day she asked and we said, “Not today, there’s a shark in the pool.”
Later that week at Kindy her teacher pulled us aside, “Lacey says there are sharks in the water. I’ve told her there isn’t. I’m not sure where she got it from?”
Like naughty school children we fessed up. We giggled a little, knowing that we totally sucked at the parenting thing in that very moment. We took her to the pool the following afternoon, and there wasn’t a shark in sight. And not a mention {or fear} of one either, thankfully.
Have you ever been caught out telling little lies? What lies do you tell your kids?
This comment has been removed by the author.
unfortunatley as parents we dont like to see our lil babies cry…so we tell just a lil white lie so it doesnt seem so bad…until we get busted!! lol
Too funny!! Been there…done that!!
I don't get the lie about the octopus in the pool, why not just tell her that she can't go to the pool until she agrees to cooperate when it is time to leave?
My parents used to tell me some doozy white lies and we always believed them but I'm not a fan, we want our kids to trust us.
We've struggled with days filled with tantrums – like minimum 6 tantrums a day, some lasting 3 hours long. They've near broken us. Actually at times they have.
So sometimes we have to choose our battles. While I've tried the honest route, and I am honest and do parent properly for a good chunk of the time. Sometimes I want to not have a tantrum. So if I tell her we can't go today, we're setting ourselves up for a tantrum. So I told a white lie and she was OK.
I wish I had another way.
I think you are right, sometimes it is about survival and good for you for being inventive. Hope the tantrums subside x
We do it all the time unfortunately. Usually a similar situation: trying to leave a park or pool. At the park I tell Miss K that the man is coming to clean the park so we have to go. At the pool I tell her the CPR signs say “no crying and no sooking” and if she breaks the pool rules she won't be able to come back again. Or those stupid $2 rides in shopping centres… I tell her if the lights are flashing it means it's broken.
I think these are quite novel ideas,love the one about the man coming to clean the park :))
I havn't used those ones yet but my parents used to tell us that there was a video camera in the wall of the house so if they asked us who had done something (like break something etc) they would know an then you would be in big trouble but if you fessed up it wouldn't be so bad. We actually used to look for this bloody camera. I have considered using this ploy more than once. Recently I have invented a 'toilet fairy' who sends little messages to my daughter who is having trouble remembering to go. Both my kids have fallen for it hook line and sinker and it makes me feel a little guilty but they seem to be really enjoying it. Do what you have to to get through …
How sad that people sat there & judged you.
That's my biggest fear actually, the public tantrumm'ing, the me-not-coping as I burn with embarrassment when I become the centre of attention, & then … the judging of my Mothering.
Max isn't at the age where he understands much of what we say to him, particularly white lies, but these are the kind of stories that do make me giggle, & that I look forward to having some of my own as a parent.
xx
I used to tell my kids that if they didn't clean their ears in the bath they would get potatoes growing from them. They used to always ask if their ears were clean :))
This made me laugh! My boys are older now and lying does no good but I'm sure I told some little white lies to make life easier when they were younger. Tantrums can be so tough to deal with! My oldest never acted out but youngest? Argh! Tantrums for the record books. I have cried with him in public out of sheer frustration and embarrassment. I am a lot more compassionate to other parents that I see struggling to quiet down their little one now.
I can't explain how much I love this photograph! So beautiful! And I feel ya on the tantrums. We have experienced them a lot at their favorite park.
lol that is adorable.
When my DD was little she would chuck the biggest tantrum at the checkout when she spotted the chocolate. I used to cringe at the thought of it. I just had to bite the bullet one day and let her scream it out and just keep repeating to her – the answer is no. You only have to suck up the embarrassment once or twice if you are consistent and say quite loudly to the “tutters” who tut and stare that your child is only (whatever age) and today she is learning that she can't always have something when we go out. Usually shuts them up. A tip for leaving an “interesting” place was to tell her that we would be coming back on X day and that we needed to leave in ten minutes so make sure she did whatever she wanted to do before we go and give her a count down, 10 mins, 5 mins, 2 mins, 1 minute and OK time to go. If she kicked up a fuss I would simply tell her that she was warned we were leaving and if she made it unpleasant for us to come here by throwing a tantrum every time we go to leave then we will just stop coming. She also used to try and negotiate more time when I said ten minutes and I would simply say she could waste her last ten minutes argueing with me or she could have ten minutes of fun. It worked and I could extract her quite painlessly from play centres, pools, parks, friends houses etc and it only took 2 or 3 tantrums initially before she gave up and accepted that this is the way it was going to be! I really wish you good luck, Parenting is a very hard job and we are constantly judged by people who have forgotten how hard it was (old women are the worst for being outspoken and judgemental)
well done, consistency is the key!
Been there done that. Every Wednesday after swimming lessons Sadie gets some free time in the pool until I can come up with an appropriate reason (to her) as to why she has to get out. I did a little test last week to see how long she would stay in until I “forced” her out. Two hours later I was trying to think of little fib that would get her out.
On the other side of that I remember when I was little my mum would tell me if I didn't get out of the bath before the water (yeah I see a theme here!!!) Mr Sucko would get me. To this day, even in the shower, as soon as the water has to go I pretty much leap out. It's funny what sticks with you
Very cute and you were so busted!
We suffer the same embarrassing tantrums at times too. Like Chelle above, we are trying to teach our boys that their actions have consequences.
So when the tantrum is about to hit, we let them know that they are to stop fussing RIGHT NOW, otherwise they will not be coming back to the pool/park/other fun place any time soon. They will also lose points from their rewards chart.
After following through a few times, they realise we are serious, and are starting to think about it before they start screaming and stomping!
Ha I love that the Celebrity couple judged you.. I mean where do these people get their kids and their parenting skills or do they just keep their tantrums for behind closed doors. There is no ABC to parenting even though there are a million books out there that tell you there is. You sound like a wonderul mother and your daughter sounds gorgeous – your doing a great job, keep it up!
Ha 🙂 That's too funny you guys got caught! I don't have kids of my own quite yet, but my mister and I constantly laugh about how we know we'd constantly lie, we're awful! I love the octopus lie by the way!!
xo Heather
http://ahopelessnotebook.blogspot.com/
This is such a great little story! The things parents say to their kids. And the fact that you guys got caught.. made me laugh so hard.
My son LOVES watching Dora the Explorer and I can't stand it. For a month we kept telling him that Dora was on a vacation and traveling on an airplane. It didn't stop him from asking us EVERY single day to watch it but at least he didn't cry like the times I just plainly tell him, “not right now”.
When Carrie would throw a tantrum we would get out “the Book” The Book was an old encyclopedia that Frank had when he was a kid. It was ragged and old looking, but it was official. He would find the “problem” in the book, making a big deal of it. And he would read the solution.
Of course it was always in OUR favor. But she really thought it was true.
I guess when she gets pregnant, I will wrap up The Book and give it to her! LOL.
glen: can't wait to see that!
Great story. When your a parent the truth is over-rated. Eventually they catch on and question you and you fess up. And take it up a notch. 😀
Good Job. Creative parenting at it's finest.
BTW–I always use to just buy the candy at the grocery check-out line. In fact my first question when we walked into the store was, “What kind of candy do you want?” and if my son wanted a 10 cent ball, I bought one. Candy before dinner..why not? Sleep with us–sure. We had few tantrums and at 16 he is not an axe murderer. His teachers say he is a delight. He has friends and seems (can we ever tell) pretty well adjust for what he has gone through (which has been plenty). My DH and I decided early on to never parent for an audience. EVER. We did it once and it did not work.
My 25 cents and I realize you will eventually have to leave the pool..so sharks work…. (sorry for going on…..)
Ha ha …that's too funny. Yes, I've been guilty of little white lies too. Hee hee hee … Parents can be naughtier than kids sometimes.
She is too cute!
My parents told me plenty of white lies and I never felt like I didn't trust them. I just laughed when I read Chelle's comments”…I'm not a fan, we want our kids to trust us” – good luck with that!
You are doing a fantastic job – some parents won't even take their kids out!
Hehe that made me chuckle! I got caught out lying when my piano teacher asked me if I had practiced on the school piano that week, when I said yes, she said, REALLY? All week? Yes, I said. Definetly. That's funny she said because there wasn't a piano in that room this week, it had to go for tuning!!! Cringe cringe.
To be fair though, every time I DID practice she told me I hadn't and when I didn't, she praised me for practicing and doing well that week… what's a girl to do? There's no pleasing some people!
Love it! I agree – pick your battles, save your energy for the really important ones! We kept up a beauty with first son – if the maccas lights were on and the golden arch was glowing … unfortunately that meant the cleaners were in and that 'hot donald' wasn't cooking! Worked a treat until he looked a little closer at 4ish yrs old and said ' so those other people eating inside are doing what?'… whatever works at each age is a fine thing! He was ready to understand the 'sometimes food' line – and saved us in the interim from 'not now' induced meltdowns!
We tell our girl that she will turn into a monster if she touches my make-up!! ;p
truth is, she has very sensitive skin and had a rash the last time she did.. but she loves to pretend play with make up and comes after mine sometimes, even though she has her toy ones.
Ai @ Sakura Haruka
A ha lie all the time, kids thought I was 21 for many many years until the little one finally learned how to do maths and thought it weird that his 21 year old mother had a 13 year old son!
Never lie about the big stuff.
Did she give you a tantrum the next time though?
Cute, yes we get the tantrums as well, and I feel like diving into the water and holding my breathe…for a long time. Dont they get on a roll, man, so passionate about things like the sky is going to fall in!x
Cute … Guess, it is the same story everywhere. 🙂 kids, tantrums and coping and not coping with them. Part and parcel of growing up. 🙂
Do not feel bad . Sometimes Little White Lies are nessacary. As a Grandma, I still use them. We had two kittens , Striper and Tippy, Striper got run over by a car 🙁 Very sad! My 2 year old granddaughter asked “where striper mama ” , I said “Striper ran away”. How do you explain to a 2 year old that the kitty was run over by a car . You don't , you tell a little white lie and you don't feel bad about it ( well , at least not too bad )
Hi Chantelle, I have a tantrum daughter too. I was given this book by the school counsellor, and it made all the difference for us. I hope it can be as helpful for you.
Ross W. Greene: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children
http://www.amazon.com/Explosive-Child-Understanding-Frustrated-Chronically/dp/0061906190/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1330507828&sr=1-2
The Easter bunny takes into account how many carrots a person eats when deciding how many chocolate eggs to give… I suppose its not really a lie since I'm EB.
Haha.. My mom used to always tell me she was 29year old whenever I inquired about her age well this went on until I was 6 and I did the math knowing my sister was 13yrs older that me. 6 +13 = 19 …….29 – 19 = 10!! I told my mom there is no way she had a baby when she was 10 years old!! She had to confess!
Maybe next time try being honest with her “we'll take you, but if there's any tears when we leave, then we won't be coming back tomorrow', make her own it.
I think that is awesome. Last night I told my two yr old that we couldn't go to the park because the park was sleeping.. he was happy with that! I think it is about getting though the day. I loved one persons comment about the flashing lights on the ride on toys at the shop.. so going to use that one! 🙂 u definately need to choose your battles.. sometimes a toddler cannot be reasoned with! No need to sweat the small stuff. I love your honesty.. very refreshing! 🙂
Elizabeth Saxe Coburg-Gotha is an evil woman, why do we slave away at work our whole lives for money with her face on