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Mum Life #247

Fat Mum Slim /


I am thinking I should write a book. A parenting book about all the things they don’t tell you in the parenting books. Like how tired you’ll REALLY be in the first year, and how to master a poo explosion, and how to bribe your kids, and why you should never have nice things.

I recently bought some affirmation cards. I love those things. They come in a nice colourful box and I like to put them on my bedside table to read before I go to bed. They say things like, ‘I am worth loving’ and ‘I am healthy and strong’. You’d think they’d be boring to kids, wouldn’t you? But the last pack I had went missing {cue dramatic detective music}, and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t Hubby taking them to work to read with his mates.

And about 13.4 hours after purchasing these new cards and placing them on my bedside table, they disappered. I found one in the bathroom, and a few on the lounge, and then a whole heap in the toy pram, and then the other bazillion littered through Lulu’s room, in toy boxes and other toy-shaped vessels.

We, mums and parents, shouldn’t have nice things. I’m constantly having to find my hidden wedding rings, my iPad gets borrowed {and dropped and smashed} and I even order 200 business cards and those got stolen too, and scattered throughout the house. I’m constantly on a treasure hunt to find my nice things.

They don’t care for Hubby’s things though, and Hubby dares to tell me this stealing of my things is actually MY fault. MINE. I need to put things up and away from them. Does he not realise those kids can climb? They just have an insatiable desire to take anything that is mine. Perhaps I should get crankier, and sit them down to tell them that they shouldn’t touch my nice things. Stage a protest. Go on strike or something.

I gathered up those affirmation cards, well the small amount that I could find and recover anyhow, and I laughed when one said, ‘I have control in my life’. Because I totally don’t.

I left that card for Lulu. She deserves it. She’s running this house. Or at least ownership of my nice things.

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  • gottabemekc

    2,not just one,cellphones in the toilet! ‘Nuf

  • When I was reading this I was thinking how my hubby & I would have a similar conversation to you and yours. Somehow this would be my fault. I am not sure that is our fault per say because we don’t put things away safely. I think it is because they want to be close to us when we aren’t around and want to be us so they take our things? Maybe who knows. xoxo

  • Sarah N

    I used to have an affirmation on my desk at work that said “never say you don’t have enough time. You have the same number of hours that were given to Michelangelo, mother Teresa, Helen Keller (etc.)” Lord how that made me feel inferior! Binned it after a week ?

  • Elita Hooper

    Always the way, nothing is ever truely yours…..yet hubby’s stuff is left alone….same happens here.
    Would love to know whe you got your affirmation cards from….would love to get some for myself and my tribe.

  • Haha, my daughter used to get all my cd’s and make a path through the house with them, then she’d walk on them, you know, her version of the “yellow brick road”.

  • Kate

    One day we will be able to laugh about this stuff… one day!

  • FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS BABY CHEESES – YES! Seriously – I have so many things ‘hidden’ around my home that I can’t find anything! I only hide things to keep them out of harm’s way from all the little people. and now – I have no idea where anything is! Then – if I don’t hide it – I’ll find it languishing under a bed, or under a pillow (“for safe keeping Mama”), or coveted somewhere in the bottom of a school bag. *sigh*….