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Letter to Lacey: Now you’re a big sister

Fat Mum Slim /

LE3{photo by Rana Rankin Photography}

Dear Lacey,

You’re a big sister.

A few hours after your little sister Luella was born, your Gaga brought you into the hospital. We wanted you to meet her before anyone else so Dada came and collected you from out in the hallway. Already it’s all a blur to me, because I remember just sitting in the bed, holding the baby and gazing at you. You look like you’d grown in the hours since I last saw you. Suddenly you were this big girl. I looked at your smile, your hands, you… and all of you suddenly seemed so grown up.

You took to the big sister gig with ease. All my moments of anxiety about how you’d handle it were for nothing, you rock at being a big sister.

When we were back at home, we sat on the lounge – the baby, you, me and Aunty Sarah. You held Luella for perhaps the second or third time, and looked at me, “Mama, are you going to cry?”

“No,” I lied… fighting back tears.

“I’m crying,” you told me with tears welling, “Because I love Luella so much.”

I looked at your Aunty Sarah, and we both melted, and a lump formed in my throat.

♥♥♥

Last night as I was feeding Luella in the middle of the night. You stumbled into our bedroom, a look of concern over your face. You’ve been having a few nightmares of late, so I worriedly asked, “Are you OK?”

Rubbing your eyes you replied, “I just need to hold Luella.”

So you sat up in our bed, had a quick cuddle and then fell back asleep.

♥♥♥

You love going to school but when we took you the other day you remarked, “I don’t want to go to school anymore. I just want to be home with Luella.”

♥♥♥

You are the sweetest big sister, so caring and kind. A little enthusiastic at times {wanting to hold and pick her up when she’s not really in the holding mood}, but who could ask for more. Luella is so lucky to have you, and I know there are rocky times ahead and it won’t always be so wonderful… but right now I love how beautifully you both are together.

Yes, you’ve grown up a lot in the last three weeks, but you’ll always be my little girl. I have a new appreciation for you, and my love for you expanded a little {I didn’t know it was possible}. I love how sweet you are at 5, how easy you are to get along with and how you’ve just taken to being a big sister with ease, like you were born to do it.

Thank you for surprising me, and for making my heart grow.
How lucky I am,
Mama. xx

@Fatmumslim