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Let’s talk about being four.

Fat Mum Slim /

My very first memory is being four. I was shy and timid. I remember being at preschool and it was Dad’s day. I was sitting playing playdough and my Dad walked in. You know that overwhelming sense of pride you used to get when your parents would be at your school to see what you did. I remember that. I felt that. I had my hair out, super long {almost down to my bottom because my Dad never wanted me to have it cut, despite my desperate pleas for a bob}, with a big pink headband on. I was a good kid. If you asked my Mum she’d tell you I was a dream. Painfully shy, but well behaved. That was me at four.

And then there’s Lacey. She’s confident and sassy. She’s loud and outgoing. Her favourite things to do are dance, sing, perform, dress-up, talk to people and do laps around our block.

When meeting new people in our town, I’ll introduce myself, “I’m Chantelle, and this is my husband Shane…” Before I can even introduce her, she pipes up, “…and I’m Lacey.” At that age I would have been hiding behind my Mum’s legs.

Living in a small town now, I love that everyone talks to everyone. We’re all part of a community, and we help each other out, or at least take time to say hello and ask how each other is doing. On Sunday I stopped at my local store/newsagent to grab the papers. Lacey spotted a paint set that she had to have, even though she had an almost identical one back at home.

“Put that back, you’re not having it,” I said in my determined mama voice.

“Yes I am,” she said in her determined 4 year-old voice back at me.

This went on for about 30 seconds. The locals also grabbing their papers, looked on sympathetically. I made my way to pay for my papers, and she held onto the paint set with a tight grip. I had a plan: pay for my papers, take the paint set back, grab her and RUN.

A female customer at the counter before me, gestured my way, “Serve her first. She’s got a battle on her hands.”

Dallas, the newsagent, looked down at Lacey and said, “You can’t have that today.”

Lacey didn’t care. Not even a strange man telling her what to do could deter her determination. So I paid for the papers, grabbed the paint set, and returned it to the display. Lacey threw herself on the ground screaming. I scooped her wriggling body up in my arms, and we left the shop. It took about 13 minutes and she had finally forgotten the paint set.

This is nothing new to me. I’ve calculated that 20% of my day is spent fighting these sort of battles. Sometimes they’re in public, but most of the time they’re at home and over menial things like baths, getting dressed, eating dinner and not killing the puppy. One hundred percent of the time I feel like I’m on an island, parenting alone with a child who is 4 but thinks she’s 14. On Facebook last week a friend posed a question about her own 4 year-old and how hard things are parenting a child of that age.

I rejoiced. I got a little teary. My favourite quote popped in my head, “What you too? Thought I was the only one!”

Yesterday I went back to the newsagent, alone. Another older lady was there, as was Dallas behind the counter. “Did she survive without the paint set?”

I nodded. “I almost came back and got it for her, because I just couldn’t face the tantrum,” I confessed.

“Never give in,” Dallas advised me.

The old lady asked, “How old is your daughter?”

When I told her, she sighed, “Oh the same as my granddaughter. She’s just like that.” She went on to tell me about her little Sam and the trouble she gets up to. She was an exact replica of Lacey. They were made from the same mould, it seems.

I find great comfort in knowing that others are going through the same thing as me. To feel like I’m not alone. While the 20% of my days make me want to pour a wine and a bath, and disappear behind locked doors, there’s always the 80%. The moments when she’ll snuggle up next to me and tell my funny stories, or when she’ll say the cutest things, or draw rainbows and unicorns. And I know that 5 is only months away. I hear that’s a dream. I saw someone write about it on Facebook.

What was your first memory? How old were you? And do you have a 4 year old? Tell me about it.

  • Awh, that’s so cute. And NO, you are not alone. I have a three year old (boy) so just behind you! What a great post. I totally know what you mean about the surge of pride when you are little and your parents come. I love picking up my little guy from daycare because his face is just pure joy when he sees me. Sure makes you feel special and makes those hard times (aka tantrums) a little more bearable πŸ™‚

  • I find this post terrifying! Lachlan is a bit over two and a half and is just like that. I had hoped he would grow out of this phase soon as it is very tricky to deal with a newborn and a child who is two going on seventeen! I sincerely hope I don’t have to wait until he turns five to get my lovely little boy back! The worst part is when they show they’re lovely side occasionally and you think ‘why can’t you be like this all the time?’. I hope five rolls around quickly for you!

    • fatmumslim

      THIS. xx >> The worst part is when they show they’re lovely side occasionally and you think β€˜why can’t you be like this all the time?’.

      • Just re-read my comment and am horrified that I misspelled ‘their’. One of my pet hates when people do that so had to correct myself. πŸ™‚

  • Chantelle, I often think about my little miss 4 year seeming like she is beyond her years. But like you I always think about all the times she makes me laugh, smile and be happy just to have her around. Cassie x

    • fatmumslim

      I totally appreciate her, I really do. I love her with all my heart. I remember the good times, and I’m acknowledging the not-so-good too.

  • Joan Davis

    I know it’s not the same, but I have a pup who was crazy … I kept saying to her, when you are 4, you will be perfect! Now that she’s 3.5 and has outgrown her wild puppiness, there are days that miss it … it might be hard while you are going through it, but trust that one day you will look back on it and wish for those moments again. Enjoy your independent little one and treasure each day! (even the hard ones)

  • Cat

    Oh Telle! I posted something extremely similar yesterday. I’m finding my Bebito extremely difficult at this stage. I’m really tired of fighting the battles. The only things that sustain me are knowing I’m not alone, that it will pass & the glimpses of the gorgeous, funny, sweet boy in there too. My first memories are at about this age too & though I was confident my Mum somehow had control of our behaviour more. I feel a bit silly to be “beaten” by a small child on a daily basis. Xxxx

    • I am so relieved to hear someone else say they feel “beaten” by their littles on a daily basis. I often say to my husband that it’s like working for two tiny, very persuasive and incredibly messy dictators. (Who I love intensely.) πŸ™‚

    • fatmumslim

      THANK YOU. Yes, those glimpses of an absolutely blissful child are what get my through those tough times too. I constantly feel beaten. Thank you for putting that into words. x

  • Oh Chantelle, you’ve just described my life! My son is 3.5 years old and I feel like every day is a battle with him… usually over the tiniest things. This morning at 8.30 am he had a tantrum as he was wearing jeans, then decided he wanted to wear shorts. Half an hour later he had another tantrum as he wanted to put his jeans back on but I wouldn’t let him as we were just heading out and were running late! Sometimes I just want to scream!! xx

  • You are so not alone! I promise!

    My daughter is 3.5 and sounds just like Lacey. She is an explosive combination of sensitive, stubborn and dramatic – and that leads to some fairly over-the-top moments in our house.

    But I do firmly believe that being headstrong, sensitive and determined will hold these girls in good stead when they’re older and, well…grow into their attitudes.

    PS I love that you’re quite new to your community and already know people by name. That takes me at least six months!

    • fatmumslim

      That’s what I said to Dallas (the newsagent), it will make her a determined, go-getter adult. And that’s a good thing surely. So I’ll nurture her until then.

      Oh yes, I love getting to know my community. πŸ™‚

      Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone, I hope you find comfort in that too. xxxx

  • Sandra

    Chantelle this is parenting all the way through,each age is different and each stage they go through has it’s ups and downs . My two children are now grown men and it was a challenge raising them alone,but even with that sometimes,(but only sometimes) I wish for my little ones back with me for the cuddles,the funny comments and yes the challenges too. Don’t wish for them to grow up any faster than they will already….even when they have their tantrums and their not so funny days try to embrace it for what it is ..part of who they all too soon they will be grown up and moving on and then you will miss them !

    • fatmumslim

      Oh yes. It’ll all fly by. I’ll embrace it, as best I can. xx

  • rebecca

    Never had the terrible two’s but four!! I am with you. So far my daughter at four is way more determined than my son was at the same age. As parents we just need to be able to steer that great attribute into something positive! Although it’s hard now, I hope she retains that sense of self-belief and determination as she grows older to become an independent, strong young woman. And thankfully, like all of you, there is an gorgeous upside – she’s also incredibly honest, funny and loving. They will grow up in a flash, but in the meantime, I am grateful for that evening glass of wine!!

    • charmaine

      I agree with you Rebecca. My daughter was always harder than my son to raise.
      He is very laid back and chilled:)
      Zoe is now 16 going on 30 and she is stubborn, determined, funny as heck, beautiful, delightful and the list goes on. She wont be pushed around by anyone…i am grateful for her strengths because as a child i was shy, anxious, scared and lacked confidence. Im still the same now that i’m an adult but i can deal with it better:)
      Im happy she will go after what she wants and without being obnoxious, get where she wants to in life by chasing it in her stubborn way!

      Embrace it Chantelle, for before you know it Lacey will be 16 and you will wonder where the time went…

  • When I saw the title of this post I just had to read because YES! My daughter is 12 now, but when she was 4 she was NO FUN. It was hands-down her most difficult age. Not the case with my son, however. I was totally expecting it, joking that I didn’t even want to celebrate his 4th birthday. But he was FINE compared to his sister! How is Lancey verbally? I ask because my son has always been much better at expressing himself verbally than my daughter was. She was slow in learning to speak well. Besides, I think it’s just that dang autonomy thing.

  • Sam

    Yes, I have one of those too. 100%. I have so many stories, just like yours. Each and everyday is a suprise. But this time will disappear really fast too, so I’m just riding the rollercoaster:)

  • Holly

    I can sympathise with you definitely. Except that my big boy was an absolute nightmare when he was three and then 4 and 5 have been a breeze in comparison. My youngest boy is nearly three and two has been awful. So awful that I’m sure he can’t possibly get any worse at three! It’s funny how different kids have bad phases at different ages isn’t it!

  • oh the tantrums…i here you! loud and clear!

  • Jude.x

    I work in a visitor centre, with a small shop. You’d be surprised how many parents tell their 4 year olds (actually anything between 2 and 18) “no, you’re not having it; No; Oh! OK then, but nothing else” or words to that effect. My 3 were all the same – wanting stuff and then forgetting as soon as I’d picked them off the floor and carried them out, full of embarrassment! πŸ˜€ Jude.x

  • Uh oh! I have a temper tantrum terror at 3yrs old and was told from 4yrs old it gets better! I knew that would be a long shot, since she is so… headstrong. It is exhausting, especially when most of the time I have my hands full with her little brother whenever she decides to have a tantrum. She knows she can get away with it then! Some days I wish she would hurry up and grow up, but I know she won’t always want to snuggle up with me, she won’t always want to watch Dr Who with me, and she won’t always want to help me bake a cake. So I try and focus on enjoying the good, and just try and make it through the rest! πŸ™‚

  • Mary Christmas

    Im on my third 4 year old. Nightmare. Give me a 2 year old any day of the week.

  • Yep, my iron willed child is nearly 11 now…. It does get better, but all too well I remember how distressing it was; knowing that every single day would be filled with fighting against the will of the one you just wanted to love on and enjoy. I think it’s hardest when they’re your first because you just can’t see it ever ending.
    I think it helped me to realise that the same will I was battling to shape without breaking, would become one of his greatest personality traits as an adult.
    It’s not fun, but you are SO not alone.
    Big hugs xxoo

  • jo

    Chantelle Liam is coming up to 4 and currently tries to high five pensioners on zimmer framesin an attemot to bowl them over.Im tired before the day starts. The confidence astounds me!

  • I always think that I am doing something wrong… like it’s my fault my son throws fits. I, too, am glad I am not the only one!
    It will get better… I think. And hope.

  • When my daughter was 4, I thought I had made a huge mistake in becoming a mother. It was so hard. My daughter is 9 now. It gets A LOT easier. Hang in there. You are not alone and you can do it!

  • Tinkster

    Hate to say it, but that’s about when the attitude kicked in for us, and still hasn’t switched off. My now 6 year old was like that, and while the tantrums (particularly in public) have definitely improved, the attitude has remained and got worse. I keep saying to my hubby I’m truly terrified of when she has hormones in the mix, I don’t think it’s going to be fun!

    Good luck

  • Sharlene

    I am the mother of three and all of them had their four year old moments. The one I remember the most is when my eldest (a girl) was with me shopping in a grocery store and had a tantrum over what I can’t remember. She lay down and screamed and kicked, so I lay down beside her and screamed and kicked too. She stopped. We ended up laughing. I wish I could say she never did it again but I can’t. She is 34 now and turned out amazing.

    • charmaine

      reminds me of the tantrum my girl had at about age 2! it was in the supermarket, it went on forever, she kicked, scfreamed, told me to finish my *gopping* (shopping) to get back and do it… i left the shop with her, she tried to get out of the car on the way home, that was after she refused to get into the car:) fast forward about half an hour, hubby rings to asks me something, he hears her screaming in the background and asks whats wrong……well the background was the car in the garage not attached to the house… where she wouldn’t get out of the car!! OH i can so laugh now but back then…….sheesh!

  • SuZeQ

    My first memory was when I was four as I played with my table and chairs and cupboard my father built me. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh good memory. My daughter is now 45 but I certainly do remember when she was four years old. That year was about as bad as the terrible two’s … fortunatley she’s outgrown that stage and is now a very independent woman!

  • I hear you! All 5 of mine have been harder work at 4 than the so-called terrible 2’s and 3’s. I am so thankful that my now 4 year old will be going to school in January! Also this is a great example of why mums NEED to talk to other mums!
    Good luck!
    Sandra x

  • I’ll be there in two years

    I’ve heard it said:
    Terrible Twos
    Trying Threes
    F*&^ing Fours

    My little guy has just turned two, and I’m starting to see the beginning. Oh joys, this is going to go on for YEARS!

  • ‘..menial things like… not killing the puppy.’

    Teehee. She sounds like my girl. You’ve shown me what to expect in a couple of years’ time. Thanks for the giggle. x

  • Shireen

    Loved your post. My first memories are as a four year old, going to the hospital to meet my new baby brother, I so clearly remember the song “Heart of Glass” by Blondie playing on the car radio. I don’t have a four year old…yet, he’ll turn four this October, and while he’s never really been a tantrum type of child, we certainly have seen the defiance of someone testing the boundaries, and wanting to know what his limits are. But generally an easy-going little boy, growing in confidence as he gets older.

    My second child, however…she’s only 17 months, just, and already shows magnificent I’m-not-getting-my-own-way tantrums! Screaming, headbutting us, the floor, the wall, whatever is at hand or throwing things. Such a completely different personality to her big brother who was so quiet and placid at the same age. I already dread the teenage years…

    Love them to bits though, and yes the 80% of cuteness and cuddles far outweighs the 20% of terrors and tornadoes!

  • First up, I started grinning ear to ear when you talked about your Dad not wanting your hair cut! I too had long blonde hair down to my bottom because my Dad loved it, and didn’t want it cut, no matter how much I begged. My daughter is only 2, and I’ve been cringing at the things people are writing on Facebook that I have to look forward to, because she’s is already a handful…that 20% is a b*$%^!!! But you’re right, the other 80% is joyful :} Lovely post!

    • fatmumslim

      I have that first big haircut hair in a bag still. Is that crazy?

  • Terry Beth Barnhart

    My memory as a four-year -old is constantly asking my mother how to spell something. I loved writing the names of my brothers and their birth dates and names of friends and relatives, and on and on. Of course, she had taught me to write before that, so, I wanted to do nothing else. Since I knew everyone’s birth date, naturally I knew my own was coming soon. I knew it would be one week after my oldest brother’s. The day after his birthday, I remember asking my mom if I could have a birthday party. She said yes and I asked when and she said, oh probably Sunday after church. I have no idea what she had in mind for a party, but I had no doubt what I thought,, I wanted my friends and cousins there. So, I asked how to spell all their names and phone numbers. Little did she know, I called them and invited them all to my party on Sunday after church. Soon, my mom began to get phone calls telling her how cute it was that she had me call and invite the kids myself. YES, MOMS, I was 4 turning 5. And yes, I had the party, and got the doll I wanted, to boot. Shirley Temple! My mom was a hairdresser, and soon after my party, I cut off all of Shirley’s curls. The year was 1957,,, Poor Mom,,,

    • fatmumslim

      Wow! I can’t imagine doing all that. That’s very, very clever. AND cheeky! x

  • Allison

    You post came just at the right time in our house!
    After an HUGiE tantrum at the weekend because we had to leave the park! And a sudden refusal to go to bed/sleep!? My husband said ‘that surely can’t be normal, what’s wrong with him?! I gave him this to read and his response was ‘Oh, Phew, it’s not just us then?! It’s so nice to see that other people are going/have been through similar things! We are expecting again in just eight weeks, I expect a few more ‘issues’ to appear then – let then fun continue!?

    • fatmumslim

      Oh gosh, parenting is a ride… isn’t it?

      Good luck with the new arrival. I have everything crossed! x

  • I was like her without the tantrum. I think I either had reasonable expectations or it all without a fight. Or I just was already more subtle and passive-aggressive. I’m pretty sure I never gave in to tantrums.

  • My earliest memory is being pushed in my stroller by the girls from next door. It started to hail, and one of the girls had one of those see-through umbrellas. I thought it was very exciting. I was about 2 and a half.

    I have a four year old (almost 5). She is almost at master level of oppositional behaviour with a will of iron. My now 9 year old, was the uber-master of oppositional behaviour at four. Four was tough. That last year before school is hard work. When my first started school, things started getting a bit better. She was too tired to fight me anymore, LOL! Neither of my girls know anything about hiding behind my skirts, they are both filled with confidence. I was the quiet, well-behaved four year old you describe yourself as. πŸ˜‰ Where do these brave, sassy girls come from?

    • fatmumslim

      I don’t know!

      See I was going to hold her back a year from BIG school, but I don’t know if I can. I think she needs to go. I don’t know!

  • My 4 year old daughter is exactly the same. 4 going on 14. It does make me think, what is she going to be like when she is a teenager!

    • fatmumslim

      Shane says, as punishment, he’s going to take her to her first day of High School wearing only his underwear. Sigh.

  • My first memory is nothing exciting, but it means the world to me. I can’t remember how old I was, but I must have been about 5. I was just standing at the door of the laundry having a good old chat to mum while she did the laundry. Nothing exciting, and nothing particularly memorable but having that connection to mum is something I’ll never forget. I was an easy kid, apart from the odd tantrum. I don’t think I ever threw a tantrum in public – I was the sort of kid that would proudly declare to the entire shopping centre that I had a wedgie, then proceed to rectify the situation.

    I have no children, but I’ve babysat enough four year olds to understand your tantrum woes. The first public tantrum, I left the child in the aisle cry and stood outside. A psychology understanding let me know that their strong object permanence means they think that if they can’t see you – you’re gone. She promptly got up and was more focused on following me then she was about whatever it was I wouldn’t let her have.

  • Kristen

    I have 4 year old twins boy and girl. Yes, in their own way they are both like this! The terrible two’s turned into, troublesome three’s and now the furious four’s. What will the five’s be? I hope they take turns at being whatever that age has in store for us!

  • Oh I can feel your pain. My dd2 was exactly the same. Her “Terrible Twos” seemed to go on until she was 5!!! We had many many battles and she reduced me to tears more than once. She’s 8 now and life is much easier. She’s old enough now to realise when she’s pushing things too far. We still have some dodgy moments though when she loses her temper and takes herself off to bed to give out about us all!!
    And would you believe I had just written about my 3yr nephew and how he had a meltdown when he had to wear a fancy suit for a wedding. Hope you don’t mind me posting a link here, I think you might like it:

  • Simone

    I was pretty lucky with Oliver, he is a pretty good shy and sensitive kid so maybe it has something to do with personality. I know, I am going to have my hands full with Felix, I already do at 2 years of age. Don’t worry Telle, you might be lucky with the next one and yes, 5 is just around the corner.

    • fatmumslim

      I hope so Simone. Yesterday was a tough day and I just don’t know how I would have coped with 2 like that! x

  • I DO have a 4 year old! She’s my oldest, and friend, you are so not alone in this! Sometimes she is the sweetest little creature-so thoughtful and loving. Then the next minute something happens that requires more dramatics than a Broadway show. Seriously. It’s hard to be 4. Maybe harder for us than it is for them? Hm…

  • Sounds SO familiar! The only thing that surprises me is that you reckoned you were alone there! Mine were (yep, WERE, plural, they’re twins, picture that!) born in March 2008 and are thus 4 years + 4 months old. My husband has got a very demanding job and most of the time it’s just me and them. Battles of wills. It was getting very though lately. We live far from our families and I don’t have many people to help round. I needed a break. My wonderful husband understood and he took over for two weeks and let me travel back to the Pacific coast to visit a dear friend who had welcomed me in her family as an exchange student 20 years ago. I was a wonderful holiday, sweet and sour with the missing but the getting back together was wonderful. Things are a bit smoother now but they remain 4 years old. I read all sorts of promises about 5 years old, can’t wait! And yet their wild side, their quest for fun and adventures is also a wonderful aspect of 4, right?
    Bon courage!

    • Oh yeah and I’m French, a different culture, but no, it doesn’t change anything as far as 4 year olds go!

    • fatmumslim

      There should be an island that mums can go to when things are tough at any age. Wouldn’t that be cool?

      I have so much hope for 5. I hope it doesn’t let us down. x

  • The other thing is, I was ready for the “terrible two” everyone was talking about, I had no idea it last till they were five!!!!

  • Oh you are so not alone! I have five boys ~ and one of our sons is so determined with everything. He is almost 14 and he lets me know (and everyone around us) what he wants! I try to stay firm but sometimes I slip up and give in. Staying strong but kind is something that I have to work on everyday with him πŸ™‚
    Our youngest is seven, and he is our dream baby! Luckily I have one that so far is easy going.
    I reckon that they all should come with their own instruction manual, sure would make life a lot easier. did you read that blog with the Poem “You are Not Alone”? Its so gorgeous! Will have to find it and share it on facebook xxx

    • fatmumslim

      I would love to read that poem. Please do let me know if you find it. xx

  • Amanda

    My little girl is 3 going on 13. She was the perfect baby, beautiful, slept when I wanted her to and smiled all the time. The past couple of weeks have been a bit of a nightmare, my beautiful sweet girl is still in there but this other stubborn child has surfaced. Once she has it in her head that she isn’t going to eat dinner or she doesn’t want to get dressed or she wants something she turns evil. I can’t imagine her tantrums getting worse, surely they can’t get worse… But with love and lots of cuddles I think we will get through it, glad to hear that I too am not alone.

    • fatmumslim

      Cuddles definitely help pull them out of the chaos in their head, I think. x

  • Stacey

    I have a four year old as well, and just like your daughter, she’s going on 14. I love the fact that she is strong willed and determined, but sheesh, she is hard to deal with sometimes. And there is no tricking her into believing that “you already have that paint set at home” whether she does or not. I take pride in the fact she is a smart cookie, even if she drains me of all my mental energy.

  • Anneliese Mac

    My little miss just turned 3. I decided quite some time ago to pick my battles, and to do my very best to stick to the ones I do pick.
    Although a headstrong, spirited child makes for almighty tantrums and a battle of wills, I think it is a good demonstration of a blossoming personality.
    I hope today goes better for you. Lacey seems such a lovely girl, and you a wonderful mum.

    • Anneliese Mac

      P.S. I think my earliest memory probably involved making mud pies, or ponds in the front yard.

  • Alice

    I just burst out crying, I am on this exact boat ride… As I type this she is sitting yet again in naughty corner… I have no idea who this child is!!! She has been an absolute dream up until 4 then like many have written it’s like she has turned 16! I am so caught off guard …I am soooo tired (I have a very boisterous about to be 2 year old who can seem to live on very little sleep)… I have no idea how much longer I can keep this up… I am finding it hard to believe that once she is 5 it will all change… She is only a month away from that… I have my fingers crossed…. I really don’t like the attitude…

    My earliest memory is sitting on the toilet and being petrified by the biggest roach I have ever (and yet to) seen in my life! I just remember screaming in the middle of the night and my dad coming in killing it telling there was no need to be afraid it was gone… I have been terrified or roaches ever since…

  • I have a 4 year old boy ( turning 5 end of September) and he is sounds very similar! I (try) to avoid taking him to a mall, markets and anywhere I know there will be toys. Sometimes I think the terrible 2’s is extended but is a llot bigger and harder to carry. (and there have been times I have given in though)

    He is actually at school now as I am now living in India, they start school a lot earlier here….and he’s there 5 days a week for 6.5 hours…so I luckily get all my shopping done during these hours!!

  • Liz R

    When my now 12yo daughter was four, I despaired. I feared that she/we would need help. Then I read somewhere that this was normal! Then she started almost-daily kinder and, finally, school and the change was immediate! She was, it seems, bored and in dire need of daily playmates. I was not enough! I know – one shocked but relieved mummy! Today, she is constantly doing something and she loves to talk. She’s still stubborn. And, she’s a gorgeous, happy child. Man, I’m glad she’s not four anymore but the memories will never fade!!!

  • I remember being four, that’s how old I was when I found out my parents were splitting up. I remember THAT day quite vividly, its never left my mind. I can remember exactly how felt, how sad my dad looked. And now I have a four year old. Whoever invented the term “terrible twos” obviously didn’t have a four year old! I find him to be far more testing at this age because he’s both more intelligent & more determined. But he’s also still very sweet, so I feel so guilty when I get angry at him!

  • Jessica (Jay) Robertson

    Wow! It all sounds very familiar. Keeli constantly drains me, I can’t keep up with her. The tantrums are usually over pathetic things, and are often in public. I feel like a terrible parent when it happens because I have no patience for the silly tantrums but then all I do is yell back (if we are at home). I don’t want to rush the growing process, but I’d love to fast-forward past the bad attitude! God help me when she’s 15!

  • I don’t know if it was my first memory or I’ve just been told the story so many times by my Dad ? but something I think I remember is my Dad being a truck driver and me being with him. I was asleep in his truck sleeper and he told me not to wet his bed so I work up and scared him half to death when he was driving and says he almost ran off the road as he wasn’t expecting it. This was 30+ years ago. He tells that story alot to many people so I’m not sure if I remember it or if it is his words like a movie playing my head?
    I don’t have a 4 year old but I can tell you a 2 year old, 6 year old and sometimes even an 11 year old are no different to a 4 year old….and to think I am just about to have a newborn baby on Monday too! I guess when they are testing you/me I just try to think at least they have spark (between muttering other things to myself lol) Airlie sounds very similar to your Lacey, she was born premmie at 27weeks gestation and I say she has been bossing us around since the day she got out! haha. Aston is 2 and is no different really. Mason 11 is alot more relaxed but if he wants to he can throw a tanty in his own ways as well. Parenting is tough but worth it. Good Luck!

  • ann martien

    I had tears in my eyes reading this as I laughed from the pit of my stomach.
    I have a 17 month old little angel and she has only just started on the tantrums.
    I also have an 18yr old, 16 yr old and 13 yr old, all girls. I read your stories and I remember where I have already been with my older three girls and laugh because I am heading there again with my one year old.
    Treasure these times because they will be gone before you know it and you will be shopping with an teenage Lacey who will witness a little person having a similar tantrum and she will probably roll her eyes and you will laugh inside because you have been there.
    Love it all, passes fast…
    Thx for sharing your journey, its beautiful.