It Happens

Brought to you by Bupa.img_1962

It happened in the supermarket. I was somewhere in the cereal aisle, and it hit me.

The air was sucked out of my lungs and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It was fear, and trouble breathing, and cold sweats and a racing heart. It was an anxiety attack.

It wasn’t the first time, but it scared me all the same. I focused on my breathing, made my way to the self-serve {to avoid talking to anyone} and hot-footed it to the car, then home.

I have a baseline humming of anxiety in my everyday life. Sometimes it’s not evident and life is good. Other times it creeps up, until I’m standing in the supermarket wondering if I’ll be able to breathe or not.

It happens.

It happens when I’m battling to put my supposedly sleep-allergic kids to bed while Hubby is at work. It happens when I’m starting the day and overwhelmed by all I need to do. It happens when I’m on a plane, in a tunnel, driving on a narrow bridge, or standing in a big city. It can happen anywhere. It happens when I’m about to go on stage to present, to step in front of the camera or fly in a small plane.

This year it’s happened a lot when I think about the work I’m doing, and what I want to be doing in the years to come. It starts off as that humming and quickly escalates to not being able to cope. It’s concentrating on my breathing, getting outside and putting my feet in the grass, and trying not to fight it, but instead go with it.

I didn’t know what anxiety was until a few years ago when a friend was telling me about her own anxiety and I was like, “this has a name? It’s a thing? Really? I have that too.”

I was so relieved to know that it as a thing {not that I wanted to have it, in fact if I can get a refund I’ll happily trade it in}. It was so comforting to know that other people were going through the same thing, facing the same challenges, and kicking butt in life anyway.

Anxiety is a funny thing; not ha ha funny, but hard to understand funny. It’s not sexy, or fun, or something I’d wish on anyone. But it happens. It’s happening to me.

I make a decision each day to get on with life, and challenge myself in spite of the anxiety struggles I have. I refuse to surrender, no matter how hard the battle is.

I’m having a little anxiety as I write this right now. What if people think I’m crazy? What if I get judged? What if people think less of me?

But what if someone reads this and gets that same feeling I did back all those years ago and knows they’re not alone? What if they find comfort in my words? I’m sharing because it’s real, it’s happening to me, and to others around the world too.

Today is World Mental Health Day. It’s a chance for us to share out stories, to reach out and support others suffering, and to just be aware that it’s happening.
The team over at Bupa have put together some resources and information on their Blue Room that might help if you’re also experiencing anxiety. You can visit here.

42 thoughts on “It Happens”

  1. Thanks for sharing Chantelle. Anxiety is such a funny thing, we may look so together on the outside, but what is happening underneath may be a different thing altogether. My anxiety usually surfaces at night. A good thing I guess, as I’m at home, but things always seem worse in the middle of the night and sometimes it can be a long wait until the morning ☀️️
    You are looking fab by the way. I hope the rest of the year is kind to you xx

  2. I know anxiety well. Less now then I used to, but it still unexpectedly sneaks up on me. Like a week ago, standing in the kitchen having to remind myself to breathe in then out, my head feeling fuzzy and my chest tight.
    Thank you for sharing. It will help people.

  3. Thanks for sharing lovely. I’ve had shocking anxiety in the past but usually do well but today not so great. This makes me feel less alone xxx

  4. Hello, fellow anxiety sufferer! Did you know that they think anxiety can be a symptom of being a really intelligent person? It kind of makes sense! Basically, we must be geniuses then ? Either that or we’re just un-evolved cave people but I like the former explanation!
    My anxiety has improved since I began to acknowledge it (amazing how that’s worked), but I still get it when I put myself out there and make myself feel vulnerable. I just felt it when I submitted some writing work just then. I also feel it when my hormones play up (I was the worst anxious pregnant woman). I have some emotional triggers from past experiences. But knowing I’m not alone makes it all so much easier x

  5. I don’t have anxiety but suffer with depression. It comes and goes as it pleases and leaves my poor little family a little lost and confused as to what has happened. I, on the other hand can feel it coming and try so hard to keep it at bay. Sometimes it works and sometimes it gets me.
    I went to the Dr recently and she asked me about my financial and relationship situations and when I told her that they were fine she said ‘so what’s the problem?’. I couldn’t believe it! Someone who we are meant to be able to reach out to for help!
    Anyway, I’m getting the help I need and I hope that anyone else out there who suffers either anxiety or depression is not scared to put their hand up to ask for help. x

  6. Hi Chantelle…. it’s hard to be open about suffering anxiety.. this is a brave post.
    I’ve suffered from anxiety for most of my life and it can be mentally crippling.
    I take medication that helps me cope and I would urge anybody with anxiety to talk to their doctor about medication, and /or counselling…
    Acknowledging that you have anxiety and that it won’t kill you, even though it feels like it will, is the biggest and hardest step to take…. please take it … and talk about it… xxxxxx … Barb xxx

  7. Sometimes I get these anxious feelings. About work. About friendships. What if I’m not a good wife? What if I let myself down? What if I fail? I’m learning exercise helps me a lot. I think the best thing you can do is talk about this stuff – for me, it’s not crippling, but it helps to know that on an off day people GET IT and I can turn to them and say, “hey. It’s one of those days and I need you.”

  8. I develop anxiety 7 years ago in a car incident that nearly kill the whole family. Ever since then I’ve live on Anxiety till now. It’s getting better. I passed my driving test but still don’t have the courage to drive by myself.
    I start declined going out with friends or do anything. Anxiety and claustrophobic is the main thing that put me in a difficult position.
    I am getting much better going out doing things that I love but still driving hmmm not sure. Getting in any transport hmmm nope.
    I have days that I just want to run away. But my husband and 3 kids have been so supportive. So reading your story knowing im not alone. Xx

  9. I have had anxiety disorder my whole life. It was finally diagnosed 3 years ago. Didn’t realize how much it had invaded my life all those years til the shrink gave me meds and it is mostly under control. I am 57. Added to that I had a heart attack 4 weeks ago and that has blown up the anxiety. We must muddle on when little lives depend on us. My five year old granddaughter lives with me.

      • Lots better for blood flow. It was a total blockage. Anxiety went crazy. Had attacks again. But now my shrink prescribed yet another pill to add. I have become my grama with a load of pills and carrying my nitroglycerin tablets. But I don’t let it get me down. You have to keep going. Keep strong Chantelle!

  10. I love that we are all given this platform to share the things that are so personal and hard to discuss ..
    I love this, and feel much the same way –
    “I make a decision each day to get on with life, and challenge myself in spite of the anxiety struggles I have. I refuse to surrender, no matter how hard the battle is.” xx

  11. I have anxiety too, I didn’t realise until about 2 years ago it was a thing that had a name. I had heard of anxiety but didn’t put two and two together. Thank you for sharing Chantelle xx

  12. Great post. I have had anxiety most of my life but only diagnosed fairly recently. It has been escalating of late and reached a pretty bad point 3 weeks ago when I simply could not get on a plane and had to cancel. I felt weak and stupid and that made me more anxious. Since then I decided to make October the month of me and am concentrating on finding ways to help my anxiety levels. I have started yoga and a drawing class and have given up caffeine. So far so good. Baby steps

  13. Totally feel for you Chantelle. I had anxiety and panic attacks when I was pregnant with my first 15 yrs ago. I couldn’t go anywhere on my own. Then when my daughter was born I couldn’t even walk to the letterbox or walk around a supermarket with her. It was debilitating. But after much cognitive therapy with a fantastic therapist I learnt to learn to manage it and now finally after 15 yrs it barely shows its face…and if it does I tell it where to go!!! It’s important to learn coping strategies like distraction and correct breathing excercises. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone! If anyone suffers from anxiety and you can’t beat it on your own, don’t be shy about reaching out for help, you CAN beat it! Hope this helps anyone as I thought I was going crazy! By the way you look fantastic Chantelle! Xxx

  14. Yep. I have generalized anxiety disorder coupled with occasional depressive episodes. And even though it’s been a while since I had a full-blown panic attack, they are horrible. It is indeed very real and very disabling when in the midst of one. But the good news is together, we can all walk each other through — we just have to be open enough to say, “I need help” Best to you!!

  15. You are definitely not alone in this. Just the other week I was getting my children ready for the day and all of a sudden it hit me, it felt like a heart attack or as though there was someone sitting in my chest while at the same time my heart raced, temperature soared and I couldn’t breathe.
    So far it has only happened at home, but anxiety is always creeping next to me – never letting up.
    Thank you for sharing your story. You are incredibly brave x

  16. The timing on your post is amazing. I have suffered with anxiety off and on all my life. When I was younger, I had no idea what was happening. I just knew it was scary and weird. In the early 90’s I had a massive attack where I was afraid to leave the house, or go anywhere because I thought I’d make a fool of myself even though most people had no idea I was experiencing anything. After I read about anxiety and started to understand it, my anxiety got a lot better. I hardly ever experienced any attacks anymore…until recently.Three years ago, I had a serious illness unrelated to the anxiety. I am better now, but during that time the anxiety came back due to my worries over other things. Once again, it settled down, but all of a sudden decided to rear it’s ugly head again just this past week. Like my doctor said, “Anxiety needs no reason to visit. It just does.” You are right…it is something you would wish on no one. I’m dealing with it, but I’m not liking it. I appreciate so much your post about this. 🙂 I love following you on FB…your funny posts about your life and kids, and your serious ones like this post. Keep up the great work.

  17. Thank you so much for starting this conversation. I’ve been suffering anxiety all my life, but like you, didn’t know it was a thing. I just thought I was weird and wired differently to everyone else. It is kind of comforting to know others suffer the same (not that I want anyone else to suffer) but you know, it makes it easier to understand. I’ve had times during my life where it’s been so bad I’ve physically passed out, especially on public transport. I had years where I couldn’t face public transport to get to work so I spent a small fortune in cab fares. I felt so ridiculous but it all makes sense now. It comes and goes and sometimes I have to be careful that I don’t become a recluse. Working from home is hard and I physically have to force myself to go out into the world. I’ve had a shocker of a year this year and my anxiety has escalated from mild anxiety to full blown depression. But I’ve been working really hard (plus thank the lord for medication) and I can now say as we near the end of this year I’m feeling so much better and ready to launch about 100 new things next year. I wake up looking forward to the day instead of dragging myself out of bed. So there is hope. I’m sorry you have to deal with anxiety too but you are such a great role model I’m sure you give a lot of us hope.

Comments are closed.