H
ubby, Lacey and I joined friends for a backyard BBQ over the weekend. Our friend that hosted the BBQ is super snap happy, and never misses a moment to get the camera out. It’s quite handy because without her we probably wouldn’t have any photos of Lacey’s Christening. For that I am grateful.
In this day and age though, we have Facebook. Facebook is the age of uploaded photos and tagging. If you’re not quick off the mark, photos of yourself, which are yet to be seen {and approved} by oneself, can be shared with everyone. It scares me. I hate having my photo taken. Especially at the moment.
I avoid the camera at any time, but now with Facebook I’m even a little more wary. As our friend, who I’ll call Lu {because that’s her name}, removed her camera from her case I immediately got my defenses up. I hid. I got busy.
Lu just wanted a photo. I, did not. She begged. She pleaded. I denied her. I walked away. I put my hand up to the camera. You’re not a celebrity, you know: Lu said.
I know, I know… but I REALLY don’t want my photo taken, please: I pleaded back.
Lu is persistent. More persistent than me. In the end I gave in. Probably because she’s sweet, she makes me laugh, she’s one of the nicest people I know, I like her and she said kind things. Things like: We don’t care what you look like, we love you for you. And I know when Lu says something, she means it. She doesn’t talk BS.
So I let her take a photo.
And I don’t like it. It has nothing to do with photography skills and everything to do with me.
Whilst I see the sunny side of pretty much everything in life, I do not look on the bright side when it comes to my weight.
The original purpose of starting this blog was to journal my journey of losing my baby weight {and the rest}. Losing the weight wasn’t as easy as I had hoped. I don’t lose weight easily as it is, but teamed with sleep deprivation, returning to work and general busy-ness {and life} it just didn’t happen.
And now I am getting some sleep {I refuse to be cocky about sleep again, lesson learnt there} I really need to make it a priority. It’s not going to be easy, I know. But being this fat isn’t easy either. I am ready to put Operation: Fat Mum Slim into full swing.
And so this is where I am now. I’m putting it out there, warts and all. This is the start of something new, and hopefully something beautiful. xx
I personally think you are beautiful. Inside and out 🙂 But I know how you feel about photos (I'm the same) and the weight (me too!) and I support and encourage you! xxx
oh chantelle that made me really sad to read that… I actually cried and I don't cry easily.
i can relate to the camera issue. I had the same situation on saturday but I was the relentless one that said No and meant it. Seeing photos of myself in post baby weight (huge breast feeding boobs) is not a good thing for me. A few weeks ago I let one of my best friends take some photos of me with tom. I felt very guilty about the lack of photographic evidence of me being around him in his first year. The result was lovely, but I still don't like what I look like, but I am sure down the track I will.
Anyway.. I am blabbing. I just want you to know that you are not alone in these feelings and that we are here to support you!
🙂 x
Yeah, I'm so with you!! I'm pretty sure that the camera tells big fat lies!! I do not see in the mirror what I see in pictures and it disgusts me. I was nice and slender before I started having babies and that is sooooo not the case now!! Of course I'm pregnant for the fourth time now also so I can't exactly work on it, but hopefully after this little bit gets here I can start trying again!! Here's to hoping!!!!
You're gorgeous!! I know I've heard it all too and am not interested in looking beautiful for anyone except for myself and in that case I am unhappy with my weight. I feel you and support you!! I'm trying to lose weight to run a half marathon in January. It'd be fun to support each other! 🙂
Chantelle, I think you're just gorgeous. In all your photos, you have a glow about you. You're a beautiful person inside and out xx
I'm adding myself to the, “you're gorgeous” chorus. I can't tell you just how much your words mean to me and the fact you offer bits of yourself over to the universe in the way you do shows a generosity of spirit that I truly admire.
I do know the pain of not being happy with the way you look and wish you the very best of luck….we'll all be here supporting you every step of the way.
xo
i love you sis. you look SO beautiful in that photo.. and YOUNG! holy cow. i thought for sure you were going to say it was one when you were 16.. serious.
i love you and support you. one day at a time.
xo
hey telle,
i love you just the way you are… you have the kindest heart and an enthusiasm for life that noone can beat! you are soooo beautiful… i just love being around you because your like sunshine!
but i know, no matter how many people tell you that, you will still feel the same inside… your not happy with the way you look and its on your mind and affecting you so bring on operationg fat mum slim i say – i know you can do it… youve done it before and it really doesnt make a difference that this is post baby weight – put that out of your mind! when i gave up coke (cola!) the hypnotherapist said to say 'i choose to be healthy' and 'i make healthy choices'. it worked a treat!
remember… we all make mistakes so dont beat yourself up if you stumble here and there. you are only human!
rowe x
Good for you and your determination to get operation FMS into full swing! Of course its going to end beautifully! Just look at the gorgeousness youre starting off with!
I have known you for a few years now and I think you are gorgeous inside and out. But if this is what you want and feel you need to do then I give you all my support and hope all goes well.
ps. Love the new layout, I have been offline for a few weeks and this is the first post of yours I've read since coming back.
Can I join you in operation FMS? I have 11kgs to lose and like you find it really hard with sleep deprivation and with life in general. I could handle having a weight loss partner if you are interested? Let me know 🙂
Oh and by the way – that is a gorgeous photo of you 🙂
I'm not too sure if I have ever commented but I like to stop by every once in a while. I think you are so pretty…really. I have to smile about the whole sleep thing because I usually don't get much myself. That is a goal of mine but it takes discipline. The house gets all quiet when the babies go to sleep and no matter how tired I am I come back alive. Sleep does do miracles for oneself though.
I really identify with you Telle. I'm here every step of the way! And for what it's worth – I think you're absolutely gorgeous!!!!!!
If I can do it, you can, too. I'll be rooting for you! 🙂
You're bloody gorgeous!
And if the weight's getting you down, then it's time to kick into gear.
Good luck!
Linda J.
Thank you everyone for your support… it means the world to me!
@Liss: Your words made me so happy this morning. I read them before I left for work and I just lit up. Thank you. x
@Jessi: Sob. Thank you for supporting me, and being so understanding. xx
@Penny: I'm sure you'll be ready to get in control of your body after baby number 4. When you can find the time! x
@Steph: I'm definitely there to support you, all the way. I'd love you have your support as well. We'd make quite a team!
@Rhi: Awww, Rhi. Thank you so much. I hope to be beautiful, one day. xx
@Cat: Thank YOU so much. That means the world to me. To know that people believe in me, when sometimes I fail to believe in myself. Thank you. xx
@Sis: I have injected fat into my face. 😛 Just like Samantha did on SATC!
@Rowe: You made me all teary! Thank you so much for always supporting me. This has been my story ever since I've known you.. and you listen to me time after time after time after time… and you believe in me… still. That means the world to me. And for you to love me whichever way I am. That means the world to me too. Thank you. xx
@Nisha: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. xx
@Lucy: Thank you. So. Much. xx
@TheRedDeer: ABSOLUTELY! It's graet to have someone to do this with. Operation: Fat Mum Slim here we come. What are you going to do with all those delicious cupcakes? Argh?!?
@FullHouse: I completely agree. It's amazing how sleep can make you feel. It takes a while to catch up, but it feels great once you get there. xx
@Katy: Thank you. You're a source of inspiration for me. Thank you. xx
@Jules: Thanks mate! xx
@Linda: Absolutely. Thank you. xx
Hi Chantelle,
Is it Ok to count me in too? I have to loose 10kgs of baby weight need a motivational buddy! I know how it feels to know that you are not at your ideal weight and damn those facebook photos! My friends are horrors at that and I quickly untag myself as fast as possible!
You are a gorgeous girl, and have nothing to worry about. Hopefully one day soon we will be the ones posting photos of ourselves for the world to see!
Chantelle, I'm wading in slightly late on this but I have to agree with everyone on how gorgeous and young you look in this pic! However I do know that it's how you feel that's important (I myself feel like I've gained too much weight recently and have developed a bit of a loathing of my teeth – so I'm equally wary of the snap happy… much to the other half's exasperation!) So I just wanted to say that if you want to do it, I for one will be cheering you all the way x
Oh. My. God!
I just wrote in my blog for today. Then I popped over to check yours. I've been slack and haven't read yours for the past couple of days. I got a suprise when I read yours today because I'm feeling the same.
I totally sympathise with you Chantelle. I just printed a current photo of myself and put it on the fridge.It's ugly and confronting. I wanted to remind myself of what I don't want to look like anymore.
It's easy for everyone else to say that it's what's on the inside that counts and that they love you how you are (and of course, it's wonderful that they feel like that). But I know how you feel- if you aren't happy with you, everything seems harder. I'm with you all the way, even though I'm far far away. xxx
So nice to know that I am not alone…! I seriously see a yummy mummy in the mirror… But photos cast a scary reality!!!
I have at least 5kg of pre baby (#2) weight to lose… But somehow I am focussed on wanting to be my weight 10 years ago (20kg)…! Which makes it so much harder… It was unhealthy to be that thin… But geez it felt gooood!!!
I meant 20kg to lose!!! Not that I was 20kg!!!!!