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Her.

Fat Mum Slim /

Her...

I haven’t written much about Lacey over the past few years. I’ve dabbled a little, shared a few photos, but if you were to read my blog from start to finish you would see that she was everything here, and then I slowly pulled back and then it was now.

When I started this blog, she was tiny and my whole world {she still is my whole world}, but the things I wrote could have been about any child. It was the firsts, the challenges, the cute, the baby to toddler to child journey.

And then she became her own person. I mean she’s always been her own person, but she became her. Her with all her quirks, and wonderfulness. She grew up, and changed, and became truly herself. That will develop as the years go on now. She will become more and more her. This excites and scares me.

I was baking just now, for a fundraising day. I was making masses of Mar Bar Slice and I was thinking about her. I was thinking about the other week when I made Mars Bar Slice and she took slices to school, more than she needed for herself. She gave them to friends, and acquaintances and then gave them our address because if they wanted more, they could most definitely come to our house to get some. I got teary as I made that Mars Bar Slice because her heart… I know that act is small, but doesn’t it promise so much?

Lacey is my child who I will always worry about. I can tell you a handful of reasons why, but the main thing is that things are just a little more complicated with her. And I know straight away you might think, “What’s wrong with her?” and there’s nothing wrong with her {there actually isn’t}, but so many things right. She’s complex, sweet, naive, and just her. Lulu cruises though life, making friends easily, reading social cues, and is just easy. They’re both beautiful beings, but so different in so many ways, in ways that make them who they are. Each has and will have their challenges in life, and each will have wins too.

Lacey went through some bullying recently {physical and verbal} with an older boy at school. It was one of the hardest parenting things I’ve been through. Harder than all those early years when I didn’t get any of the sleep. It made my heart ache, and the protective side just come out… and I felt helpless. I worried a lot. I tried to be as diplomatic as possible. But boy it was hard.

I walked Lacey to her classroom the morning after an incident, and she saw him. I got anxious, for her and for me. I got a sense of her true character in that moment, because as he approached she said hello warmly as if nothing had ever happened.

So as I was making that Mars Bar Slice just now, I felt compelled to stop and write. To put down in words how wonderful life is with her in my world. I may not write about her much now, or even much in the future… but I am so proud of the person she is. The sweet, the sassy, the complex, the stubborn, the feisty, the spiritual, the smart, the beautiful; all of things that make her, her.

Isn’t it nice to get to a point in parenting where you can just stop and appreciate what is. Be a little proud. Of course, as soon as I press publish there will probably be a tantrum and a whole lot of sassy, but I want to remember this feeling right now. She’s a good egg. She really is.

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  • Stephanie Thomas

    I love this. I have felt the need to pull back and make my B a little more anonymous as he has grown and become more him. Every once in awhile, though, I have to share a moment – a glimpse into what makes him so very special in his own way. Thanks for the reminder to sit back and smile.

    • It’s been weird because blogging has changed SO much in these 9 years… and adapting had to happen too.

      I hope you’re smiling a lot. x

  • Jet Mattiesing

    <3 !

  • Kate McLean

    This! Those moments when you feel so proud of your child and you’re smiling so hard and your heart is so full and you think you really might burst with love. This is what makes all those hard moments worthwhile. Well done Chantelle, enjoy basking in these moments x

    • It is, isn’t it? It’s bloody hard sometimes, and I think I’m just not adult enough to deal with it… and then these moments come along and it’s all OK for a moment or two. x

  • How beautiful. That reaction to her greeting her bully – what a dignified and classy young lady. Amazing xx

    • I know! I was so shocked, because it had been such a big thing for her to cope with afterwards… and it just showed me how resilient she is, but also how kind.

  • Lauren Russo – Love_Live_Loz

    Thanks for sharing hun. My eldest is a daughter and while only in year one, I worry so much for her. Kids can be brutal and for little girls who feel so much…I just worry.

@Fatmumslim