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Have kids, they said.

Fat Mum Slim /

It was dark, and the night was long. Lacey slept beside me, Lulu did everything but. She was tiny, and cried all night long, and I sat up feeding her for most of the night. I was exhausted, begging for the sun to come up. Hubby was on night shift. I was exhausted, and had reached the end of my tether.

As I willed the sun to rise, Lulu to go to sleep and Hubby to arrive home, I cried. I promised myself, “This is the hardest parenting moment right here. It gets easier from here on in. It WILL get better. You just need to get through tonight.”

Of course I got through. The sun came up. Hubby came home. I got on with the day, feeling like crap, but I survived. We all did.

And the hardest parenting moment of my mum life was done. The box was ticked. Done.

Except, kids grow up and I’m starting to realise that those early baby days were tough, and draining, but perhaps not the hardest.

Because you can put your baby down and know where she is 10 minutes later, right? And it’s absolutely not a competition of who has the biggest parenting struggles, and maybe I’m bias because I LOVE babies {like I’m a crazy baby lady!}, but parenting seems to be more challenging as the years go on.

Like, one of my kids {whom I won’t name for privacy reasons, but HINT – it’s my eldest} thinks talking about s-e-x is interesting. She totally doesn’t know what it means entirely, but the kids at school are talking about it and so is she.

Remember when our kids thought we were the best people in the world? Remember when you’d walk into a room and their little faces would light up like Christmas with joy because of your sheer presence? Lulu still does that. She would be glued to me for life if she could {for now anyway}, but Lacey… yeah I’m not her favourite person in the world anymore. I sing badly, which embarrasses her no end. It kills me slightly that this shift has happened where I’m not cool or awesome to her as much anymore, and I realised that it will never be that way again. Plus, there’s so much drama and emotions.

AND. AND. AND… we still have the teenage years ahead of us.

So right now I’m at the stage where I probably need to give the birds and the bees talk. And I used to be a nanny, and I’ve actually given the talk numerous times before… and it went seamlessly in my opinion. But I realise now that’s because they weren’t my kids. My mum just handed me the Where Did I Come From Book? and told me to have a read. No awkward conversations. I just read the cartoon story, figured it out, was slightly grossed out, and then that was it.

But now, I have to do it as a mum… and ugh. I don’t wanna. I bought the book, and I read it myself and IT’S TOO MUCH INFORMATION FOR HER LITTLE BRAIN.

What age did you give the birds and the bees talk {their age, not yours :P}? How’s parenting going for you?



  • Reannon

    Many, many years ago I remember thinking ” I am really going to hit my parenting strides when my kids are teenagers. I’ll still be young & that’s when I’m going to do my best parenting “. How wrong I was. My eldest 2 are 17 & 14 & it is the hardest! There is just SO much to navigate. And at this age the sex talk isn’t about what sex is anymore. You need to cover SO MUCH more!!
    Give me crying, non sleeping babies any day!!!

    • OH GOD. You’ve just made me realise that there’s going to be so much more, AND they’ll see stuff on the internets!

  • I remember the fabulous Holly (Good Golly Miss Holly) once wrote”parenting doesn’t get easier, it just gets different” and it’s pretty much the only rule I live by when it comes to parenting. The things that are hard when they are small get easier as they grow, but with that growth comes new challenges and new hard things, so I just keep reminding myself that those things will one day be easier too. In regards to the birds & the bees, weirdly enough I’m not too fussed by it (now!), I’ve always been very open about that kind of thing with Mia, she asks me a question and I answer as honestly as I can. She knows all about where babies come from, and how they get in & out (let’s just say she was fascinated by the pictures in my pregnancy & birth book), what periods are and why ladies have them, but I know as she gets older (she’s 5 now) the questions will start to get a bit trickier, but I’m hoping that I’ve laid the ground work to make it a little easier when the time inevitably arrives!

  • Lynda Delaney

    Yep, babies are a hard task that’s for sure, but then they turn into grunting teenagers and don’t talk to you … ever… oh and yes we are so embarrassing they don’t even walk beside us…I’ve been told that when they turn 19 they are lovely again.
    I have 2 boys 16 and 13 (turning 17 and 14 in the next few months) – I think girls may be different to boys – not sure if easier or more difficult.
    Told hubby he should have ‘the talk’ with them and he said ‘na, they teach them all at school’ only I remember oldest son fainted at sex ed so missed the class – not sure why he fainted (he’s my sickly child). But they read so much on the internet now that it is a bit scary, but I’m leaving it all up to hubby to sort out (am I being a baby – probably – but he’s a SAHD so he can suck it up!!!)

  • Seona Roberts

    My biggest kids are 15, 18 and 21. I’ve openly answered questions when they’ve been asked around Lacey’s age – by first asking ‘what do you think it means?” and making my answer from theirs…it’s worked for everything they’ve asked. I have never sat them down to have “the talk”. I have asked them if they want one and do they have any questions and every single kid has looked at me as if to say ‘are you serious?!” and I’ve been told ‘no they taught us at school’. The only thing that I have drummed in time and time again to my boys is “i don’t care what she says, cover up and use a condom” and “i don’t want to be a grandma before i”m 40” (so far that is working as I’m 42 and not a grandma 😛 …we’ve also talked openly about the topic (and others) at times around the dinner table…it makes it less stressful as it’s a group situation and usually has input from both me and my husband and is usually about something that has been seen or heard somewhere.

    • I love this Seona. It’s a really good approach and it buys time too when you get those curly questions thrown at you!}. Thanks for sharing. x

  • Barb N

    .. Good Luck Chantelle…. I think you will be fine .. as you say, you’ve done t before.. once you start the the info and conversation will flow. You just have to clarify any mis-information she may have gotten from her friends at school .. xxxxxx Barb xxxxx <3

  • Alinta Fidzewicz

    Hmmm how is parenting going for me….. well right now I am wondering why on earth I thought 10 years ago it was a good idea to have a baby…. and then I thought despite how hard that first year was, that it was a good idea to have 3 more!!!!!!!!!! Honestly!!!!!!!!!!! So now with a 10, 8, 5 and 2 year old I am completely out of my league and off my head. I always knew I would be fine at the little people stage. Yes its draining and your physically tired. But its simple. This 8+ stage is KILLING ME. And what is worse, Im not naive anymore…. I know its only going to get WAY harder. On the note of the birds and the bees that chat happened around 2 years ago to the 5/7/9 year old. 9 year old came home and told me he knew what blow jobs were thanks to friends at school (nice school too but older siblings!!) and watching something on the net! Fabulous! So I thought I better inform them all what the real deal was. We got some excellent books which I placed on their beds, and then told them to read and ask me lots of questions. Which they did. “its Perfectly normal’ was the other one we got. Great books. Goodluck!!!!

  • Secret Girls Business – best book ever! I am EXACTLY where you are right now with my oldest. It’s a tough gig so much love, strength and patience to you – GAH!

    • Oh, right back at ya. Everything is SUCH hard work with her, and I know it must be an internal struggle for her… and such a shift, but I find it so hard.

      I’ll get that book. Thank you. 🙂

  • Exactly where you are too Chantelle. I also had my lesson from “Where did I come from”! The girls school gave them the talk the other week much to E’s disgust and it’s been non stop questions ever since!