Finding My Feet Again

Brought to you by Elastoplast Blister Plasters. Always read the label. Use only as directed.

I’ve always wanted to be a mum. Even when teachers would ask me what I wanted to be when I was older, I replied at the grand old age of eight years with the simple answer, “A mum!” It’s all I wanted in life, that and to fall in love.

So being a mum is everything to me. I feel honoured to hear my girls call me mum, and to be able to call them my daughters. Is this where I say hashtag blessed? But seriously, It doesn’t meant that it’s easy, because it’s not. Being a mum is hard. Especially those early years. I don’t have easy babies. In fact, it’s the opposite, I have hard babies. They cry a lot, don’t sleep and it’s a challenge. I lose myself, I’m all mum and no Chantelle, if that makes any sense at all.

Once that first year passes, I can slowly feel myself return to the person who I am, or who I was. This year I’ve found my feet again more than ever. It hasn’t been accidental, but more intentional. I’ve been putting myself first, saying yes to things that make my heart sing and being a bit more selfish.

This past weekend I went to Sydney to celebrate my sister’s 40th birthday… WITHOUT THE KIDS. The kids cried as they dropped me to the airport, and I felt guilty and anxious. But, I know that they shine in Hubby’s care and it’s great bonding time for them.

And me? Well, once I get past that pesky guilt and worry, I have a good time too. I love the extra time I have to get ready without kids bothering me. I love that I can have a few wines and not worry about being woken in the middle of the night. I love that I can wear heels and not have to worry about chasing a toddler around. I love that I can do what I want… and not really have to worry about working around other people’s bedtimes, snacks, toys, and especially tantrums {while knowing that before long I’ll be returning to those things, so embracing the moments that I don’t have to}.

I got a facial {delicious!}, I ate a sandwich in one sitting {without having to get up and do something for the kids!}, I went out to dinner, I laughed, I walked a lot, I got to see family that I hadn’t seen in a looooooong time {my cousin Kate flew in all the way from Dubai!}.

I found my feet again, metaphorically. Physically, I have big feet. HUGE. Size eleven, sometimes and eleven & a half. Growing up they didn’t do shoes in my size, so I had to wear men’s shoes which is always fun {note the sarcasm}. With big feet comes blisters, which can totally take the fun out of finding my feet again and wearing boots with heels and doing lots {and lots!} of walking.

I’ve made the same mistake so many times in my life by just winging it, and letting my feet bleed in my shoes and dealing with it afterwards. I know this is gross talk, but I have treated my big feet so badly for long. Earlier this year I went on a hike with my mum while wearing new shoes, and it was B-A-D. I had the biggest blisters I’ve ever had in my life, and they didn’t heal for a very long time. So now I am all about the prevention. I’ve been using the Elastoplast Blister Plaster XL with new shoes, or shoes that I know rub me the wrong way. They can work as a treatment {if you’ve let yourself get a blister} or I like to put them in as soon as I feel the rub happening, or even before. They stop further rubbing, and also protect against dirt and yukky stuff which can cause an infection. They extra-large which work well for my big flippers!

Returning home after that weekend with family and doing things that I selfishly wanted was lovely. My kids missed me, I missed them, and I felt like my tank was full.

Did you find it easy or hard to find your feet as a mum after those early years? How do you like to spend time kid-free?







10 thoughts on “Finding My Feet Again”

  1. Oh boy, those early years are a crazy time. I feel like I definitely started taking steps in the right direction with self care after the first year but I think it took about 3 years to really find my feet. I kind of woke up one day and thought, wow I don’t even have a ‘style’ or my own interests anymore – I’m all ‘mum’ and no Kez. I researched furiously and went on a mission to find myself again. I think being a mum is a constant struggle to find that balance! Looks like you had an amazing time away – it’s good for us and our kid/s! x

    • Yeah, I came to that same realisation. I actually am a little bit lacking in direction at the moment, but enjoying have time to me and space to figure that all out.

      I had such a good time. It was really fun. Hope you’re well Kez. xx

  2. I actually find it harder now. When they were little they were in the carrier or in the pram and off they go with you. Now they have swimming and martial arts and dancing after work and school and they want playdates and their social calendar can get busy. I try to keep their lives not too busy and I still find it hard. There are some super schedules mums and kids that I know and I just don’t know how they find time eg squad swimming before work in the morning. Balance can feel so hard to achieve. From fellow large foot person (10.5-11)

    • I never would have thought that you were bigger-footed. The struggle is real, hey? It’s a little easier now, but I’ve squeezed my foot into too many size 10s in my life and hated it.

      Yeah, life is a different kind of busy now that the kids are bigger. In those early years I was constantly breastfeeding, and co-sleeping, and baby-wearing so now I feel less attached, so have space to breathe.

      But I know what you mean!

  3. To be honest now both are at school(one full time the other one in kindy 3 full days a week) I am still trying to find me, the time that I do have by myself so far this year has been taken up with running my father (who fell down some stairs and smashed his ankle) and step mum to appointments so I really have not had a change to think about it as yet.
    To be honest I don’t think I know who I am at the moment not sure how I feel about that… that’s about it

  4. I took a MASSIVE step towards finding me yesterday…I joined the gym and got myself a personal trainer. For 20 years I have been all Mum…I love everything about being Mum to my two amazing boys…but it’s time…time for me and time to move this ass…I turn 38 on Saturday and I am making a promise to myself…my promise is to find more time for me and the things that make me feel good inside and out…wish me luck girls x

    • All the luck! I did the same at the start of this year, and I was SO scared… but it’s been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life.

      I think/hope you’ll think the same in a few weeks. xxx

  5. I’m trying to find myself too after 3 baby boys! Life can be crazy but I’m trying to carve a little time out for me and my passions. Also side note I have size 11 feet too and today I ordered a size 12 ? Those blisters can be a killer, I once walked all over London Town in the worst shoes and the blister was so bad on my soles I couldn’t walk for weeks! Could of used those plasters back then! They look ace

    • They’re so good. I am so happy that someone else has big feet issues like me. Man.

      If you ever find yourself in Hawaii, Nordstrom Rack is there and they have a great range of big shoes. I stock up when I go. They’re so cheap, and trendy. I sometimes buy 12 too, because it’s a luxury to have shoes that fit beautifully!

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