In defence of the phone-haters club

phone

Last night I shared an article on Facebook that I read and thought was quite funny, and true. I went to bed straight after and didn’t think much of it. At 2am Luella woke for a few hours, so I checked my phone and the share had exploded. Lots of passionate opinions and views were shared. This is the article {click the image to read it}.

Screen Shot 2014-07-09 at 7.40.27 amIn brief, the writer, Ben, doesn’t like phone calls. He says, if you need him, email first. Then try SMS but please don’t call unless it’s a crisis {like not knowing what sandwich topping to order. Major crisis!}. And definitely do not call after 5pm. EVER.

Before I get back to the article, let’s talk about when we were kids. Or when I was kid, because I don’t know exactly how old you are. We had a home phone, that was it. It didn’t have an answering machine, or a screen to show who was calling. If you called us and we were home, we picked it up and talked. Simple. You went to the shops or anywhere for that matter, and you weren’t contactable. You went to meet someone and you just hoped they turned up on time because you had no way of contacting them. If you had to send something really, really important, you could fax it, but most of the time you sent things via the post. Things were simple.

Then I reached my late teens and we got mobiles and emails and text messages. As the years passed, so did the ability to go anywhere without being texted, emailed or called.

When I checked my phone at 2am this morning, I also noticed I had a text message. “Hey. I was going to call you for a chat tonight, but I saw your thing on Facebook! Ha.” So I thought I better write a post so that people still call me, or at least feel like they can call me. What have I started?

Back to the article. Benjamin is a humour writer. There’s a bit of tongue-in-cheek in that article. He’s not going to actually murder people if they call after 5pm. I sincerely hope not anyway.

There are always going to be people that like talking on the phone, and those that like text messages and emails. I like a mix. In my early twenties I struggled with being contactable all the time. I was a big ‘yes’ person, so it was hard to have people {usually people wanting me to babysit as I was a nanny} calling me all the time asking for me to do things.

I’m a really annoying friend to have. I eventually moved from struggling with the changes in availability that mobile phones brought, to having a phone that was more for my convenience than for everyone else. Yes, I’m contactable 24/7, but it just doesn’t mean I’m going to answer straight away.

Hubby on the other hand, is the kind of friend everyone wants. He’ll answer EVERY SINGLE CALL. He rings his friends all the time for good chats. And he even calls his mum regularly to check up on her. Admittedly, he does seem to have more spare time than I do.

He can’t stand to see how many missed calls I have, or unread text messages or emails. It stresses him out, majorly.

I don’t think people should be contactable all the time. I think we have to learn to manage it. If you’re having a nice dinner with friends, don’t take a call. People can wait. And they should. I have a baby, and I work from home {not complaining, both choices I happily made} but I get just 2 hours of sleeping-baby time each day that I jam pack with work and housework each day. I can’t spend time chatting about the weather, unfortunately. I don’t like to talk while driving {hands-free of course, when I do} so that time is out too. I do call my friends and family, and take business calls though, when I can and it suits throughout the day. They’re not much fun for either party though. Usually Luella is trying to grab the phone from my hand {or kindly screams down the phone line}, and if you’ve got kids you know taking a phone call sends a signal to small children’s brains to cause havoc.

It’s not the friends and family phone calls that I’m really talking about. I will get to you or get back to you, but it might take a while to find a good time. Luella will grow and it will get easier. SMS is quicker if you need me, and easier to wrangle in between things. Definitely {how good is iMessage from your computer?}.

So yes you can call me. Yes, I like hearing from you. But please know that my phone is always on silent, and is often misplaced down the crack in the lounge or at the bottom of the toy box, and I might not answer you straight away. Or the next time you call either. Text is best, and email is good too. I’m not a great communicator, but it doesn’t mean I love you any less. It’s just who I am. I’d much prefer if we organised a time to catch-up and talk face-to-face. I quite like that.

What’s your relationship with your phone like?

Image credit: Thom Weerd

24 thoughts on “In defence of the phone-haters club”

  1. My day job is in customer service – I’m on the phone all day. The last thing I want to do when I come home is take a phone call (obviously, unless it’s important). I’ll happily text or email all night, but I love having one less voice in my head, and the (relative) silence.

  2. Mark and I have near panic attacks trying to call for a pizza! Actually this is true, we do scissors paper rock for it! We hate the phone and I too do emails first then SMS, calls as last resort haha. We are just lucky we live in an area that is a massive black spot – no reception is a great excuse 😉

  3. I totally agree with you. We could be the same person. 🙂 And, for the record, I am a major extrovert, and I still feel this way!

  4. Love hate one here as well… I cringe and hope someone else will answer it… including my mobile! *sigh*

  5. Ah I so agree. I never call people after 5pm. I feel like week nights in particular are for getting home from work and relaxing or doing the 50 billion things on your to do list, not catching up with your pals over the phone.

    I especially wouldn’t call a parent after 5pm. My flatmate has kids and it baffles me as to how many of her friends call her at night!

    PS I don’t have kids and my phone NEVER comes off silent!

  6. I felt so sorry for you when I saw how this thing exploded (even though I’m a phone lover….chatterbox actually), and I can totally relate to the always contactable thing. My hubby was always getting work calls through the night. Now he works for himself the phone is not allowed in the bedroom. You have the right to do what’s best for you and no-one should take offence to that. I’m sure your friends know you still love them and face to face is always so much better.

  7. Hate the phone. Sometimes, I put my phone on airplane mode just so no one can reach me. Major introvert here.

  8. I hate taliking on the phone, l hardly ever answer it. l only really ring my mum, nan and fiance(just straight to the point talk with him). This post is so true for me. Glad to know l’ m not the only weirdo haha.

  9. I have never really been a fan of chatting on the mobile. I like txt but am still very slack with that! Whoops! I’d happily go back to the way things were, when all we had was a home phone. All these different ways to contact people now is a tad ridiculous! x

  10. “I’m not a great communicator, but it doesn’t mean I love you any less. It’s just who I am. I’d much prefer if we organised a time to catch-up and talk face-to-face. I quite like that.” This part sums me up perfectly but some of my family just refuse to accept this. Despite having it spelt out to them repeatedly!! I’ve spent 15 years in a call centre environment in customer service and debt collection. The last piece of apparatus I ever want to deal with is another bloody phone!!

  11. I am the same, my answer message actually says hang up and text me as I don’t listen to my messages for months at a time! Still, I answer most emails within minutes (I have a few backed up this week) texts normally within the hour (I don’t hear them) and to be honest although I love talking once I’m on the phone I’m not normally the person who initiates the calls… unless it’s to my Nan, she’s like 90 so it’s best I call her!

    Anyhoo, I just wanted to add that you aren’t the only one!

  12. I don’t mind people calling me, but I’m terrible about picking up the phone to call myself. I think for me it depends on what I’m doing and what I’m wanting to talk to someone about too. For example, I need to tell my mother something that won’t take but a second, I text her because I can’t get her off the phone once we are on it. It makes me so happy to hear certain people’s voices though so I like to chat on the phone sometimes.

  13. Love this … my phone has been on silent since my daughter was born 5 and a half years ago. It has to be a total emergency for me to, very reluctantly, turn the ringer on … and I find that I’m constantly explaining this to other people … so happy to know there are lots of other people of like-mind out there!

  14. I am a very sociable person but I LOATHE the phone. I can happily let the phone ring out. As a mum of three preschoolers it’s basically NEVER a good time anyway. And when it is a good time (after 8pm) I am too tired to talk. I’m a fan of an email or text to arrange a FTF catch up and then I can happily chat for hours…. PS LOVED Benjamin’s article and could relate!

  15. I remember when SMS came out I was like “why don’t you just call them” now though I couldn’t live without it! Especially once I had kids, after how many sleep attempts the last thing I wanted was a phone call, on fear of wake up but many I just wanted to flake out from exhaustion, no mood to entertain.
    Even now I don’t call my parents we skype instead and it’s better as they can see which grand kid is actually talking to them… And they can understand my sudden torets as they can see what’s going on! Lol

  16. I get stressed out when my home phone rings. It usually means it’s not a social call — doctors, bill collectors, sales calls or someone who doesn’t know me well enough to either, know which phone is my cell; or uncomfortable enough to feel like they have to right to call my cell. Which ever way it is, it’s usually someone who wants someone from me. I usually ignore it all for several weeks and then catch up… that’s probably not a good idea either.

  17. So I often ignore the phone unless it’s work or someone I have time to talk to. I prefer one on one contact too, not that I get much time but when I do I feel WAY happier afterwards, phone calls can sometimes make me feel worse because sometimes words can be taken the wrong way. I like faces, smiles, grimaces x

  18. Yes yes and yes!! I hate having a phone. It drives my hubby nuts that I don’t constantly check to see if he’s messaged me. I check every hour or two, but some times, I am in a creative groove or busy being a mom or busy not being a mom (naps are rare here and I keep them to myself). And I frequently have no clue where the phone even is. Lol

  19. I really identify with this. I don’t know why I hate talking on the phone but I do. For arrangements, action points etc. emails and texts are much more efficient. For chatting I’d much rather meet up face to face. My heart sinks when the phone rings…..unless it’s my sister. Somehow that’s different.

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