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I have this condition…

Fat Mum Slim /


Bitchy Resting Face is a thing. I didn’t know it existed until I read about it on my friend Stacey’s Facebook page. It’s just as it sounds, and people all over the world are suffering from it. It’s when people look particularly sad or angry for no reason at all. They just look like that.

As I mentioned, I didn’t know it existed, but I thought I was the owner of one. I’ve always thought I looked pensive, or mad when my face wasn’t doing anything at all.

Back in 1999 I went to watch a taping of Australia’s Funniest Home Videos. Yep, I was 19 and living on the wild side. There was a whole crowd of people of all ages; kids, grandparents, hipster teens just like me. The warm up guy was telling jokes and throwing lollies at us, and teaching us how to applaud. And then, he singled me out, “Hey you, how about smiling?” So I forced one. And then the show went live in 5..4..3..2 and 1. And all throughout the live taping he kept pointing to me, gesturing a smile with his hands.

The thing is I wasn’t mad about being there, I just must have looked it. It is true that Australia’s Funniest Home Videos is the show that makes me roll my eyes the most {all those kids being set up to do things just for the video’s sake, pretending that it just happened that way}, and the thing with taping a show is that it goes on and on and on forever. The host stuffs up her lines, we had to fake laugh over and over and over and over again.

So I thought I was the owner of a Bitchy Resting Face. I was sure of it actually. Until I realised it was quite the opposite. I have the Opposite Of Bitchy Resting Face.

The other day I was doing the grocery shopping with Lacey and Luella when a man with a patch and a sailors hat decided to join us for the last 3 aisles. He walked up and down as I placed things in my trolley, only leaving our side when we lingered at the eggs too long {maybe on purpose}. “How do you know that pirate?” Lacey asked.

A few weeks back I stopped to grab bread at the little local shop and as I was returning to the car a man was flying along on his motorised scooter at great speed, when he came to a screeching holt. We were out of his way in the car park already, so I knew he wasn’t stopping to let us walk by. After stopping he called out, “How are you today? Do you think it might rain?” And then we continued to talk about the weather, the kids, and various topics for ten minutes. I’d never seen the man before in my life.

And you know you don’t have a mean face when kids don’t run away in fear, but in fact come to you in excitement. There is one kid at Lacey’s school who runs to me like I’m his mama. The first time I looked behind me to see if she was standing directly behind me. No, it was me he was coming for. He ran straight up and said hello, excitedly jumping up and down and telling me a story.

Having The Opposite of Bitchy Resting Face is good, for the most part. Of course there’s the almost uncomfortable moments in the supermarket with people like Mr. Pirate, but there’s also the thing where people like to tell you stories that you might have no interest in at all. I’ve had elderly tell me of every single ailment they have, and once when I was getting a pedicure I got a story that made me blush so much I was certain I was the shade of a beetroot.

Are the owner of a Bitchy Resting Face, or something quite the opposite?

photo credit: mrlerone

  • I have smiley resting face, it’s from years of forcing myself to smile and like you now I get strangers tell me the oddest of things. Still when I rule the world I’m sure that will be useful!

  • My girlfriend sadly “suffers” from BRF. As for me, I got the “verge of crying jag” resting face.

  • One of my favourite illustrators suffers from it, too;

  • Bec

    How do you know that pirate? Funniest line ever!

  • Tamsin Walker

    Lol, we get told quite often at work that ‘gee we looked bored’ and it’s just my neutral face…it’s so annoying because in hospitality you can’t be forcing a smile while standing on your feet for a whole shift!! And I’m a very polite worker, quite the opposite to ‘looking bored.’ Then I’ve also been (like you) the one who appears to get the whole life stories as well, but those I don’t mind, most of our customers are elderly and I like chatting to them 🙂

  • Katie Killian Ottaviano

    I’m pretty sure I have BRF. Hubby is always asking me what’s wrong when I’m watching TV or reading a book and I’m like, “Nothing, I’m just watching TV” or “I’m just reading”. Not even really thinking about anything. That has to mean I have BRF, right?

    • charmaine

      haha same 🙂 I sometimes used to hope my kids didn’t think i was mad at them 🙁

  • simoneant

    Love this post, I am literally laughing out loud 🙂

  • Rhia Sims-Brown

    I have a double whammy, my natural face looks sad and I get hayfever so sometimes sound sniffily and people ask me if I’m crying. It’s kind of annoying!! But I sometimes get strangers telling me their life stories so who knows….

  • How do you know that pirate. I think that’s my new favourite saying.

  • charmaine

    I work in retail and a lady told me to smile one day. I must have resting bitch face lol. I am not a real smiler, its not that i’m not happy, i just don’t smile a lot. Hubby always tells me i’m beautiful when i smile…….I smile at work because i have too, fake it til you make it 🙂 Have a great day xx

  • sandy_mg

    I didn’t know I had a grumpy face when in repose until I realised a lot of people were asking “Why so glum?” So I looked in the mirror (I never really LOOK in the mirror) and realised I had those jowls which drag the corners of the mouth down. So unfair and totally related to my ancestry not my mood. That was 20 years ago, and unless I want to look like the village idiot, have plastic surgery or am genuinely amused by something, I will continue to be asked “Why so glum?” Perhaps I’ll start answering “Because I’m looking at you….:

  • I have the same exact condition!! I’m apparently always smiling…even when I’m mad, lol.

  • I SOOO have bitchy resting face-and I use it to my advantage! Like when I’m walking into Target and there’s someone with a political petition that they want me to sign-bitchy face on and they don’t even speak to me! But it also sucks when everyone is telling me to smile more or assuming that I’m grumpy because of the way my face looks. Back off, dude! I wasn’t grumpy before, but I am now!

    • tee O

      oh! that’s why the petitioners leave me alone… huh… i just thought i was lucky and the avoiding eye contact thing was working LOL

  • I think I must have a busy face on. (plus I walk really really really fast)..I never get stopped like that in the street.

  • The Plumbette

    I don’t think I do, but I have certain people in my family that have a face that looks like its frozen into a frown. Aren’t kids grand with their questions too?

  • Samantha Hayden

    I think I must have smiley face. I can stand in a queue, at the bank, and whoever is behind me will inevitably strike up a conversation and tell me their life history! I was in a lift at the shopping mall recently and a man started telling me his weight loss story:))

  • I have a sad resting face, I looked extremely stressed and upset, so every has to ask me if I’m okay, or just stay out my way furtively

  • tee O

    Oh ME too… a lifetime of people thinking I’m mad, sad or mean …. so annoying…. “what’s wrong?” “Nothing, I’m fine.” Well just so ya know, it gets worse…. as you get older and your dumb old face starts to droop DOWN you just go from bitchy face to plain old grumpy curmudgeony old lady face….. argh…. first world problems… 😉

  • Belinda Nicholson

    Most of the time I am a proud owner of a warm inviting friendly face, but every now & again I get that ‘Don’t even attempt to talk to me’ face !!! Sounds like the Pirate enjoyed sailing on your Wind 2! : )

  • The “pirate line’ makes me think of the current Mastercard ad. Love that add and the little boy in the ad is so cute. Here’s a link:

  • Tan Tan

    i’ve got BRF!!! Silly mouth turns down when in the neutral position. I just tell people “its my face”

  • Kim Crafter

    Did you record the episode of Funniest Home Videos you were on?