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A family of anti-performers.

Fat Mum Slim /


When Hubby was a little boy he learned to play the recorder. I think it’s a ritual that all kids go through. I remember being sent out the backyard to play ours, and I thought I was some kinda musical genius on it.

When it came to his musical concert at school, he chatted to his parents on the way there. They talked about the concert and how he’d play, to which he responded: “You don’t think I’m actually going to blow, do you?”

So he went through that whole concert with the other kids making music {if you can call it that} on their recorders, all the while pretending to play along with not a sound coming from his instrument.

Fast forward to last night; Lacey had her Christmas concert. I’ve heard her singing carols and songs for the past few weeks as she moves around the house, the car, the shops or anywhere we’ve been.

We sat at the back, being the new kids on the block, and watched as Lacey stood on the stage with her school friends ready to perform. As everyone started to sing, it was obvious that she wasn’t. Her mouth was opening and closing {like a fish} with no noise coming out.

We were crying in fits of laughter. The new kids on the block, with the kid that mimes her way through the Christmas concert.

I imagined her saying afterwards: “You didn’t think I was actually going to sing, did you?”

Have your kids had their concert? Did they perform? Over perform? Under perform perhaps?

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  • LOL Love it! So cute this post. Our little boy had his Preschool concert last Friday and really enjoyed getting stuck into the actions and the singing. I was a proud mumma watching him. I enjoy watching the concerts and snapping away on my iphone even if the screen is totally cracked. Haha xx

    • Did you get teary? I did at the very beginning when they all walked out singing I Love You in Eskimo. My heart almost burst.

  • Cathi

    I am laughing SO dang hard! You are hysterical and I hope you got Lacey’s perfomance on film!!! Oh! And I always taught my kids to tell their teachers that they had to be in the front row because their mom couldn’t see them. *wink*

  • Well I do hope her teacher didn’t tell her to lip sync. I have a friend and his teacher told him to please not sing just “mouth” the words. He was 6 and believe it scared him for life. Well, not really, he’s had a lot of millage out the story. It doesn’t matter if Lacey sang as long as she was cute. She was cute, right? Too Funny.

    • Sheesh. Told not to sing? Lacey was definitely told to sing she was just being shy. Funny girl she is!

  • We picked up Mr 7’s book pack for next year and guess what? There was a recorder in there. Help me now! If only they played silently around the house.

  • Meagan @ cider in the sun

    hahaha that IS hilarious! has she heard the story from hubby before? Or she just decided thats hwo she was going to roll? either way.. well played Lacey, well played! x

  • Kate

    We had our kinder concert this morning and Charlie flatly refused to get into his costume or go on stage. We did coax him into the room but that was it. (Didn’t help its 30C+ and we had just done the school drop off on foot and we were the last to arrive – to a very packed kinder room). I was gutted – mostly because I knew the moment it was over Charlie would be filled with regret… And we were all so excited (plus I have such fond memories of his sisters concert and kinder concerts are just so adorable). I am trying not to feel like it was all my fault, but I wish we had managed to get there a few minutes earlier *sob*

  • Tash Piggott

    Our 4 kids just had their school presentation night on Tuesday night. Kianhi, Lily & Ella cant get enough of singing and spent the last month rehearsing their play parts and songs after school, in the morning, at the bus stop etc..kinda like your Lacey! Anyhow Tyler, who’s 10, loves to sing and dance, has this awesome natural rythym (from where I have no idea) but has always hated being on stage or performing in front of people in general! Well, he was a wiseman whi had to ride a camel in the natuvity play and he was hilarious..doing this funky head nodding ing to mimic the camel and singing at the top of his lungs! Was awesome to see our quiet, shy boy just ooze this confidence and sass…so proud! Oh and he scored the ‘Young Environmentalist Award’, for the enthusiasm, hard work and commitment of an individual student in caring for our local environment and inspiring others to do the same! Doubly proud of our little hippy dude!

  • Leomil

    haha this made me laugh.

  • Roz Bannan

    My girls, love to sing, love to dance, love to rehearse….but hated to to preform. Every year we suffered months of practice only to watch them freeze like a deer in headlights on the night of the concert.
    I have suffered the recorder x 3, My oldest daughter (now 21) always wanted to be the best at everything even the recorder – she recruited a musically talented friend to teach her Mary had a little lamb, for “the test”. Daughter #1 got an A for music that year and her musically talented friend (who plays saxophone and keyboard) got a B. I am grateful #1 didn’t think she was good enough for a career in recorder and we only suffered one song for a few weeks before she lost interest.
    My kids get there talent from me….I have been told that a cat fight sounds more in tune than my singing. ***personally I think I sound fantastic – it just loses quality before it reaches your ears***

  • Love that story. What a classic!

  • Tracey

    My son had his concert last night. He has been telling me for a month that he wasn’t going to sing, but after finishing the song with his class he came up to me and proudly announced that “I sang but didn’t do the actions. I jumped though!” which was one jump in the middle of the song when they loudly sang “hey.” He was so happy with himself, lol.

  • My eldest daughter (now 27) wanted to be in a poetry competition when she was 5, she begged her father and I incessently until we finally gave in and gave permission…we practised the poem for weeks with such enthusiasm, animation and expression that we thought she would be the hit of the show. What happened in reality was that she got on stage and recited the poem in a monotone standing totally still in the middle of the stage..the monotone by the way was so soft that you had to strain your ears to hear. It was at this time that she realised she does not like being the centre of attention and to this day she shys away from any sort of attention!!!

  • Oooh, I was just thinking about this the other day (as I pitched my girls’ broken dollar store recorder in the trash, actually) about how my 2nd grader’s first school concert/performance will go. Every year she says she’s going to participate in her school’s talent show and she has yet to participate! I can’t wait until her first performance, but the thought also makes me a little nervous 🙂

  • After many years of non performing my oldest has finally accepted the couple of times a year he has to perform. At our local Carols by Candlelight where all the school kids perform he made his way to the front of the stage (to my great excitement!) where he then let a taller child in front of him. He sang and did all the actions and when I asked why he let the other child in front of him, he looked at me and said “I didn’t want to be at the front”!! How can I argue with that? 🙂

  • Kirsty S

    My daughter did “Santa wear your shorts” at her school celebration assembly and performed with gusto. My son was in a little dance type thing for The Very Hungry Caterpillar and he really enjoyed it, especially when he turned into a butterfly (they tied rainbow scarves on their wrists) and got to fly [run] around the stage.

  • Was laughing as I read this! Our second son (who will never ever want me to re-tell this one!!) did the same with a xmas concert when he was in kindy. He was such a good dancer/singer but as soon as he got up on that stage he froze. When he got off and we picked him up to go home he stood with hands on his hips and said “told you I didnt want to do it”. He was very happy with himself.