I totally get this! It is hard to let the shitty words/moments slide away & focus on all the positive stuff isn’t it? I wonder why we do that? I constantly do it with my parenting, I focus on area I feel like I’m failing, every cross word I’ve said, every time I’ve yelled or not paid attention to my kids & not once do I ever remember all the great things I do as a parent. So dumb!
There HAS to be a technique in life for not doing this. Imma gonna find it, share it, and live it.
It HAS to change. Until then we go all Elsa on it… LET IT GO.
Psst, you are awesome.
Folks who say mean stuff to others are insecure in themselves. I am sorry that you had to go through this CF. You don’t have a mean bone in your body xx
OMG! This has helped me to put into perspective the mean words someone said to me, and I’ve let them eat away at my soul for far too long. Thank you!
Thank you for your texts yesterday. You are a good friend. x
This. 2016 has been really rough for me. Professionally I mean. My relationship has been rad, radder than ever and travel, family and friends have been awesome but professionally I’ve been slogging hard and feeling like I’m getting nowhere. And then you get someone who’s like ‘Why do I have to pay for your crochet course?’ and I want to smash my head against a wall. I feel you Chantelle. I should come up north and we should eat cake and be sensitive together. x
UGH. Hugs. x
Oh thank you! How lovely of you! x
Best advice I’ve been giving for comments like that Carly: ‘This is a business, not a charity’
Yes! It’s the hard part of running a business in a free economy. Thankfully things seem to be turning around. 🙂
And crochet jackets for dogs!
It’s a hard industry where you have to convince people of your value – financially, that your value of allowing your voice to take up space in the online world.
YOU DO THAT COURSE AND YOU MAKE IT A PAID FOR COURSE, BECAUSE IT WILL BE AWESOME.
Your comment about what people thinking of you is not your business is so true and something I have to remind myself all the time. I read this post and the flipped to the next item in my blog feed and this came up – thought it might give another perspective: http://writerunboxed.com/2016/09/09/responding-to-in-your-face-criticism/
Keep on being fabulous!
That article is great. How good is this part:
“This reminded me of something a therapist once told me: if someone says
something unpleasant to you, you relive it every time you think about
it. If you think about it two hundred times, then you’re reliving it two
hundred times. The person who said the thing to you only lives it
once—how unfair is that? How does that make you better? It doesn’t.”
As always your willingness to share honestly makes a difference. This year has been shite for me healthwise. I got pneumonia, we lost a baby and I am currently recovering from spinal surgery I had 4 days ago. I feel like I have been tossed from one drama to the next. But your comment of Life is what you make of it is too true. I have no other option but to move forward.Be positive. Look for the beauty and joy in the small things. Take one day at a time and care not for what other people think knowing I am doing the best I can.
Michelle! I didn’t know about your baby! Man, I’m so so sorry. I hope your recovery is going well, please let me know if there’s anything I can do x
Thanks – recovery going slowly but progress each day
Oh Michelle. I knew you were having a rough time at the moment but didn’t realise how crappy it’s been 🙁 Love and hugs to you xx
Oh Michelle. I didn’t know that you lost your precious baby. I am so sorry. I’ve been thinking of you and your recovery and sending you get better vibes.
Big, big, big love!
Yeah the pain was too raw to share before this stage in time. Thanks for sending the love.
That’s shit and I’m so sorry this happened. I get that people are insecure but I don’t understand how they can be mean about you. Makes no sense to me. What did make sense was this post and I love how you turned it around. Thanks for inspiring me xx
Thanks Chrissy.
It was shit, but it will be something I don’t remember soon, I’m sure. 🙂
Mate, I needed this today. Some unkind words have occupied too many of my thoughts today. Thank you for the reminder to let it go.
I loved seeing you (albeit briefly) at the Gold Coast and thank you for your kind words about the book. With all that you have going on, I was really touched that you remembered.
A x
I just saw this this morning on Facebook. Are people CRAZY? You are so lovely, and loving. I hope you can be all ELSA about it. I am so proud of you.
The shitty moments are what we seem to remember the most, and I have so much trouble letting them go too. I don’t know how anyone could say anything bad about you, after all you bring people donuts! I hope you have a great week x
I BRING PEOPLE DONUTS. I need that on my business card. ?
Umm totally! it was much appreciated x
That would be the best line on a business card
For what it is worth I think you are AMAZING! And don’t tell anyone else but you are totally my favourite blogger. I’m sure I have seen you sharing that quote about being but the best peach (or whatever it is) in the world, but there will always be someone who doesn’t love peaches. You radiate kindness, generosity and fun on your blog and in real life and that is pretty awesome xx
Oh gosh, you know I love you too. Very much so.
And you know that offer with the baby totally still stands. ? I’m so excited for you. You were positively glowing at PB. Was so nice seeing you. xx
Love you and your work so much Chantelle … it makes me cranky that someone said something not nice to you. But the reason we all do love you so much is that you inspire us to turn it around and that’s what you’ve done x
Thanks Nikki. So nice to see you again, and catch a smidge of your session. ?
Oh gosh I’m mortified to hear that someone said something like that to you. UGH. I’ve had a weird type of weekend too because while I smashed it up on stage and loved every second there have been so many noticeable people absent (not physically) from being on my team. People I thought would be happy for me weren’t or their silence was deafening, it’s hard not to take it personally when I am ALWAYS on their side. But hey like you say it’s a reflection of them, not me xxx
Em, that’s so disappointing. Just focus on those of us who not only have your back, but who KNOW you kicked arse. xx
Thanks lovely xx
I’m so much on your team I’m about to get a shirt! It doesn’t quite take the sting out though, I know xo
Yeah, get me a shirt too.
Oh man. I’ve had that same experience over the years, but again… that’s not about you. Sometimes one person’s success and achievements can make people feel uncomfortable, inadequate, and jealous.
I wish our chats weren’t on at the same time. I would have loved to see you speak!
I am new to your blog – and love reading what you have to say! I’m glad you had a good time on the weekend, catching up with people from the blog world must be a lot of fun. It made me mad reading that one off handed person can make you question what you do – who are they to say anything or have an opinion anyhow! Why is it that we all hear the negative and take it to heart more than the positive! Blahh to that person I say! Life IS too short – enjoy every day and know that you are one of the good people! Some people are just negative – and obviously didn’t have a role model who told them if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all!
Hello! And welcome.
We must teach our kids to be nicer, and I’m hopefully doing that. They won’t be that person.
Ah I can relate… one crappy facebook comment really got to me over the weekend and I was ready to give up too. But I gave myself a talking to, adjusted my hormones and kept going till I felt better…
Good for you for for working on letting go, but don’t beat yourself up over being sensitive… the world needs more people who care in it… way more!
Thanks Kate. So sorry you had that experience. It sucks, and so does that person.
I have a book of “nice comments” that I sit and read when someone sends me a vile email, or makes a nasty social media comment. I usually sit in the linen cupboard and cry into a glass of Rose while reading it. It is a good reminder of the number of people who like me vs those who don’t. P.S I can not imagine how you could attract haters, you share nothing but loveliness. People are strange (and sometimes complete assholes).
Oh I want a book of nice comments. I’m totally using that!
I have a folder of beautiful emails! Maybe I need to print them out, and find a cupboard and some wine.
This is the BEST idea! xx
What a great idea
You owned that stage and I’m sure there was WAY more love in that room for you to counteract that one person’s negativity (or stupidity?). Like you said, let that go and move forward. It’s just not worth the anguish.
PS- the video you shared delivered so much emotion, visual storytelling at it’s best. It sure did inspire me!
You should have seen my face sitting at the back haha my eyes were burning daggers
I am scared to watch the video back, because I know I did an eye thing afterwards.
Thanks Lou! You’re so right. LET IT GO. LET IT GO.
And that video, it’s everything. I love it so much!
That’s terrible, I’m so sad that someone said something awful. It’s sad that we always pay more attention to negative remarks than positive ones, isn’t it! Human nature I think. I always do. I love your attitude to it though. (I must also say I had a great weekend at the conference but one of my definite highlights was meeting you!) X
It was so nice meeting you and having dinner together. You make the MOST DELICIOUS babies. I was a bit starstruck at breakfast because… CUTE!
It was such a wonderful dinner. Haha, aww thank you! I think most of the deliciousness comes from the hubby, unfortunately they have my aversion to sleep… 😀
You are one of the lights of the Aus blogging community, Chantelle. Negative people just want to extinguish that light. x
(Aside: I, too, have felt a sting at a Problogger conference. x)
Oh really? That’s not cool. I hope you were able to overcome it. Why are people assholes?
Great post. I’m sorry you had a moment like that at PB, but I’m glad that your reflection on it is positive. It was so great to see you there again. (And thanks for sharing this here. So many relatable moments.) x
So nice to see you again too. ?
Those moments are crap aren’t they? I’m sorry you had this happen to you. It feels awful and I usually get the terrible overwhelming feeling of “what if they are right? What if everyone feels this way about me?”. I have chastised myself for being too sensitive and worrying but as I’ve grown older, I realise that it is one of the best things about me, it is why I am particularly effective at my job. Your sensitivity is one of the reasons your blog is so successful. Your kindness and empathy can be truly felt here and it is nice place to come and read and join in. Your sensitivity sets an example and encourages others to be kinder, gentler and more understanding. xxxx
Oh lovely, thank you. I did get the pang of, “This is how it is. This is what everyone thinks. I’m a shit mum.”
And then I came home, and my girls smothered me, and I realised… someone from the outside doesn’t get to decide who I am and how good I am at something. The proof is in my girls. They love me, they’re awesome, they feel SO loved, and they’re amazing human beings.
Your words mean SO much to me, so super dooper thank you!
I hated that moment for you. It was so undeserved and it made me come over all Tiger Mother. Speaks volumes about that person, not much of it good! But what you focus on grows, so focus on the awesome. Focus on me, if you like 😉
All the awesome and gonna get awesomer (totally a word) 🙂
Hahaha! Yes, I will. I hope you weirdly feel me focusing on you.
Also, Shane was searching for you on Sunday night at the airport. Weirdo. Didn’t find you, obviously? Said to me, “There weren’t many bloggers at the airport on the weekend, and usually there are… you know, cos you guys stand out.”
Maybe we’re starting to blend in.
omg I didn’t have my tin foil hat on! Don’t know how he missed me, I stood in line for a deep fried potato ball for about 184 minutes
DEEP FRIED POTATO BALL!!!
haha it was the potato bites or whatever they were from red rooster. I was a bit dusty and required deep fried salt!
Oh so these potato bits are achievable for me!! Awesome!!
What the heck is a deep fried potato ball? And where do I get one? Is it worth the wait?
Or is that a joke that I’m not getting?
You can be the ripest juiciest peach and someone aint gonna like peaches! You my friend are sweet and funny and supremely talented and that’s just fine by me ?
Thanks Jenni. I like peaches and I most definitely like YOU. 🙂
For what it’s worth, I absolutely LOVED your talk and took so much from it x Yes I’m the weird fan girl who pretty much dived on you at the end of the session #nocontrol Thanks for your awesome advice and keep up everything you’re doing x x
I loved the dive! It was so nice chatting to you. Thanks for showing up! 🙂
I’m so sad that happened to you Chantelle. Unhelpfully we’re wired up to have a ‘negativity bias’ that makes the crappiest stuff the loudest. It takes effort to overcome that and that effort is greatest when we’re tired – physically or emotionally. It speaks volumes that you could so quickly recognise the experience for what it was and choose consciously to turn it around. Here’s to a much better 2017 for many of us 🙂 x
Thanks Ellen. Is the way through to unpack it all, process it and let it go? This is something I want to work on, as well as stopping to actually celebrate my achievements. I never do, and I think it’s important that I find a way to acknowledge in a way I’m comfortable with.
Yep, unpack it exactly as you’ve done in this post and then let it go. We all build up a lifetime of thinking habits just like any other habits and some of those are unhelpful habits. They are the instant automatic negative thoughts (ANTS) that pop up in response to a comment or a situation – just as you’ve described. The trick is to notice the ANTS, recognise them for what they are (automatic unhelpful habits NOT fact or reality) and to turn them into positive energising thoughts (PETS). Acknowledging your achievements is a perfect way to turns ANTS into PETS. Remind yourself of all the things you have and do get absolutely right every day and focus on that. As Stacey said, what you focus on grows! xx
I hate that those moments suck the joy out of things for us. I have one of those moments stuck in my head about the last conference I attended (I kid you not! I fled the room ended up hysterical and having a full blown panic attack pain down my arm not able to breathe – noone would have seen that because I just left quietly to go to the toilet but I was a complete mess) and consequently I freeze at the thought of going to another event. Even something completely unrelated to what that was! The other thing is that I know there was a lot of good from that weekend I just can’t get to the good through the memory of the bad!
Big hugs ‘Telle you are not alone on this and I am so glad you were able to get to the other side and make that decision to let it go.
Oh gosh, that sounds horrible. I hope you can process it all, and allow yourself to attend another event. I’m sure it will be worth it. xx
I so hope the remainder of the year brings nothing but joy to you. You bring so much joy to others you deserve a big fat juicy piece FUNTASTIC pie. xxxx
Thanks Beck! I reckon I’m up for some easy living. BRING IT ON, and the pie! 😛
I’m sorry you had to deal with something so negative on what was otherwise a fabulous few days. You’re an inspiration to so many of us and that should be celebrated x
Thanks lovely. Was so nice seeing you again. xx
Sucks when people want to ruin your spark with a few nasty words. While rationally we all know it says a lot more about the person that us, it’s hard to let it go straightaway, isn’t it? Thanks for sharing this and I’m sorry someone was nasty to you. It’s been a tough year for you and you certainly don’t need that. Side note — 2016 has been crap! I can’t wait to see off the tail end and begin the new year. Onwards and upwards Chantelle and thanks for sharing this.
Oh man, I’ve never really, truly got into celebrating the New Year, because life is mostly good… but this New Year… I need to do something special.
Thanks for popping in and your kind words. xx
Urgh. I’m so sorry that lady made you feel bad – there is no accounting for some people’s taste! I’m pleased you’ve been all Elsa about it and let it go. You were made to be awesome, remember that!
Thanks Sam! You were made to be awesome too.
Also, I told Shane that I’m going to do the Disney run with you, and he laughed and thought that it was the most random goal ever… but WATCH ME RUN HUSBAND.
YES! Let’s all run with Sammie in amazing Disney costumes!
I can’t believe that anyone would not LOVE you! I wasn’t at ProBlogger – too pregnant to fly 🙁 – so I don’t know what went down at ProBlogger, but don’t let it define you. I wrote a blog post what really took off a couple of weeks ago. I written and re-written and edited and edited it until I was completely happy with what I had to say. It was one of the biggest blog posts on my blog EVER {and I’ve been blogging for almost 9 years}. It was resonating with people and my community got me. And then someone found it and decided to twist my words and turn it into a shit storm…and you know what, in the end it really had nothing to do with me. It was their cross to bear and I’ve made that post private and I’m moving on because those people aren’t worth it.
Oh wow. That’s so sad. I think you should make that post public, just as a power thing. That it’s not about you, and it was an awesome post.
I know, I felt that it was a power thing and I was really against taking it down. But I took it down for my husband, not to give in to anyone or to admit that I was in the wrong.
Oh Chantelle that’s just the worst, some people are so thoughtless with their words.
I’m so sorry that you had to deal with that. I absolutely adore you and I was so thrilled that I finally got to see you in person after knowing you online for so long. It was definitely one of the highlights of my time at Problogger.
You are just pure sunshine Chantelle, and anyone who thinks otherwise is just not seeing the world right. Much love xx
I can’t believe someone said something shitty to you! Did they not know who are?? That blows my mind– but I also want to smack-your-face-up {just a little bit} for giving it air time in your own mind for even 1 second!! You’re freaking ah-mazing!! A lion does not care what the sheep think!! Roar baby ROAR!!!
So sad this happened to someone I admire so much. I hope the glow of the rest of the conference is able to brighten the path to let this go. They don’t deserve your concern. X
Sorry you had a downer of an experience at the event this year in the midst of what sounds like a good time for you. Don’t let it get you down – looking at the many comments below you obviously had a positive impact upon many. Keep creating!
That is really shit! I didn’t know this happened to you and I am so sorry one of the sad people slurped all their sadness on you. I am glad you have kicked it to the kerb because you are beautifully rad!
Thank god for Elsa, just think how many moods have been lifted by thinking about that song. Focus on the love, the great stuff.
Belatedly, I must apologise to you for stumbling in your direction last year at PB when I’d definitely had too much to drink and I think I even tripped over. I think I was wanting to tell you how much I’d loved a post of yours. I was MORTIFIED and thought about emailing to say how embarrassed I was and to apologise for possiblu harassing you drinkenly.
Oh dear oh dear, I have carried that embarrassment all year.
Now I shall let that go… funnily enough I just wrote a post on my personal blog about being in a hate phase again with alcohol as I’d been letting it creep up on me… it must be the time of year. I will have to look out for it next year and not let drinking increase as winter grinds to a halt.
Chantelle, you’re a radiant, successful woman who seems genuinely adorable and sweet. These qualities are deeply threatening to some. And by some, I mean majorly lame jerks.
So sorry someone else’s bullshit gave you even a moment of pause and self-doubt. You don’t deserve it. Keep being radiant and successful. It suits you so well!
Just what I needed to hear today. Thanks x
Thanks for popping by. 🙂
I totally get this! It is hard to let the shitty words/moments slide away & focus on all the positive stuff isn’t it? I wonder why we do that? I constantly do it with my parenting, I focus on area I feel like I’m failing, every cross word I’ve said, every time I’ve yelled or not paid attention to my kids & not once do I ever remember all the great things I do as a parent. So dumb!
There HAS to be a technique in life for not doing this. Imma gonna find it, share it, and live it.
It HAS to change. Until then we go all Elsa on it… LET IT GO.
Psst, you are awesome.
Folks who say mean stuff to others are insecure in themselves. I am sorry that you had to go through this CF. You don’t have a mean bone in your body xx
OMG! This has helped me to put into perspective the mean words someone said to me, and I’ve let them eat away at my soul for far too long. Thank you!
Thank you for your texts yesterday. You are a good friend. x
This. 2016 has been really rough for me. Professionally I mean. My relationship has been rad, radder than ever and travel, family and friends have been awesome but professionally I’ve been slogging hard and feeling like I’m getting nowhere. And then you get someone who’s like ‘Why do I have to pay for your crochet course?’ and I want to smash my head against a wall. I feel you Chantelle. I should come up north and we should eat cake and be sensitive together. x
UGH. Hugs. x
Oh thank you! How lovely of you! x
Best advice I’ve been giving for comments like that Carly: ‘This is a business, not a charity’
Yes! It’s the hard part of running a business in a free economy. Thankfully things seem to be turning around. 🙂
And crochet jackets for dogs!
It’s a hard industry where you have to convince people of your value – financially, that your value of allowing your voice to take up space in the online world.
YOU DO THAT COURSE AND YOU MAKE IT A PAID FOR COURSE, BECAUSE IT WILL BE AWESOME.
Your comment about what people thinking of you is not your business is so true and something I have to remind myself all the time. I read this post and the flipped to the next item in my blog feed and this came up – thought it might give another perspective: http://writerunboxed.com/2016/09/09/responding-to-in-your-face-criticism/
Keep on being fabulous!
That article is great. How good is this part:
“This reminded me of something a therapist once told me: if someone says
something unpleasant to you, you relive it every time you think about
it. If you think about it two hundred times, then you’re reliving it two
hundred times. The person who said the thing to you only lives it
once—how unfair is that? How does that make you better? It doesn’t.”
As always your willingness to share honestly makes a difference. This year has been shite for me healthwise. I got pneumonia, we lost a baby and I am currently recovering from spinal surgery I had 4 days ago. I feel like I have been tossed from one drama to the next. But your comment of Life is what you make of it is too true. I have no other option but to move forward.Be positive. Look for the beauty and joy in the small things. Take one day at a time and care not for what other people think knowing I am doing the best I can.
Michelle! I didn’t know about your baby! Man, I’m so so sorry. I hope your recovery is going well, please let me know if there’s anything I can do x
Thanks – recovery going slowly but progress each day
Oh Michelle. I knew you were having a rough time at the moment but didn’t realise how crappy it’s been 🙁 Love and hugs to you xx
Oh Michelle. I didn’t know that you lost your precious baby. I am so sorry. I’ve been thinking of you and your recovery and sending you get better vibes.
Big, big, big love!
Yeah the pain was too raw to share before this stage in time. Thanks for sending the love.
That’s shit and I’m so sorry this happened. I get that people are insecure but I don’t understand how they can be mean about you. Makes no sense to me. What did make sense was this post and I love how you turned it around. Thanks for inspiring me xx
Thanks Chrissy.
It was shit, but it will be something I don’t remember soon, I’m sure. 🙂
Mate, I needed this today. Some unkind words have occupied too many of my thoughts today. Thank you for the reminder to let it go.
I loved seeing you (albeit briefly) at the Gold Coast and thank you for your kind words about the book. With all that you have going on, I was really touched that you remembered.
A x
I just saw this this morning on Facebook. Are people CRAZY? You are so lovely, and loving. I hope you can be all ELSA about it. I am so proud of you.
The shitty moments are what we seem to remember the most, and I have so much trouble letting them go too. I don’t know how anyone could say anything bad about you, after all you bring people donuts! I hope you have a great week x
I BRING PEOPLE DONUTS. I need that on my business card. ?
Umm totally! it was much appreciated x
That would be the best line on a business card
For what it is worth I think you are AMAZING! And don’t tell anyone else but you are totally my favourite blogger. I’m sure I have seen you sharing that quote about being but the best peach (or whatever it is) in the world, but there will always be someone who doesn’t love peaches. You radiate kindness, generosity and fun on your blog and in real life and that is pretty awesome xx
Oh gosh, you know I love you too. Very much so.
And you know that offer with the baby totally still stands. ? I’m so excited for you. You were positively glowing at PB. Was so nice seeing you. xx
Love you and your work so much Chantelle … it makes me cranky that someone said something not nice to you. But the reason we all do love you so much is that you inspire us to turn it around and that’s what you’ve done x
Thanks Nikki. So nice to see you again, and catch a smidge of your session. ?
Oh gosh I’m mortified to hear that someone said something like that to you. UGH. I’ve had a weird type of weekend too because while I smashed it up on stage and loved every second there have been so many noticeable people absent (not physically) from being on my team. People I thought would be happy for me weren’t or their silence was deafening, it’s hard not to take it personally when I am ALWAYS on their side. But hey like you say it’s a reflection of them, not me xxx
Em, that’s so disappointing. Just focus on those of us who not only have your back, but who KNOW you kicked arse. xx
Thanks lovely xx
I’m so much on your team I’m about to get a shirt! It doesn’t quite take the sting out though, I know xo
Yeah, get me a shirt too.
Oh man. I’ve had that same experience over the years, but again… that’s not about you. Sometimes one person’s success and achievements can make people feel uncomfortable, inadequate, and jealous.
I wish our chats weren’t on at the same time. I would have loved to see you speak!
I am new to your blog – and love reading what you have to say! I’m glad you had a good time on the weekend, catching up with people from the blog world must be a lot of fun. It made me mad reading that one off handed person can make you question what you do – who are they to say anything or have an opinion anyhow! Why is it that we all hear the negative and take it to heart more than the positive! Blahh to that person I say! Life IS too short – enjoy every day and know that you are one of the good people! Some people are just negative – and obviously didn’t have a role model who told them if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all!
Hello! And welcome.
We must teach our kids to be nicer, and I’m hopefully doing that. They won’t be that person.
Ah I can relate… one crappy facebook comment really got to me over the weekend and I was ready to give up too. But I gave myself a talking to, adjusted my hormones and kept going till I felt better…
Good for you for for working on letting go, but don’t beat yourself up over being sensitive… the world needs more people who care in it… way more!
Thanks Kate. So sorry you had that experience. It sucks, and so does that person.
I have a book of “nice comments” that I sit and read when someone sends me a vile email, or makes a nasty social media comment. I usually sit in the linen cupboard and cry into a glass of Rose while reading it. It is a good reminder of the number of people who like me vs those who don’t. P.S I can not imagine how you could attract haters, you share nothing but loveliness. People are strange (and sometimes complete assholes).
Oh I want a book of nice comments. I’m totally using that!
I have a folder of beautiful emails! Maybe I need to print them out, and find a cupboard and some wine.
This is the BEST idea! xx
What a great idea
You owned that stage and I’m sure there was WAY more love in that room for you to counteract that one person’s negativity (or stupidity?). Like you said, let that go and move forward. It’s just not worth the anguish.
PS- the video you shared delivered so much emotion, visual storytelling at it’s best. It sure did inspire me!
You should have seen my face sitting at the back haha my eyes were burning daggers
I am scared to watch the video back, because I know I did an eye thing afterwards.
Thanks Lou! You’re so right. LET IT GO. LET IT GO.
And that video, it’s everything. I love it so much!
That’s terrible, I’m so sad that someone said something awful. It’s sad that we always pay more attention to negative remarks than positive ones, isn’t it! Human nature I think. I always do. I love your attitude to it though. (I must also say I had a great weekend at the conference but one of my definite highlights was meeting you!) X
It was so nice meeting you and having dinner together. You make the MOST DELICIOUS babies. I was a bit starstruck at breakfast because… CUTE!
It was such a wonderful dinner. Haha, aww thank you! I think most of the deliciousness comes from the hubby, unfortunately they have my aversion to sleep… 😀
You are one of the lights of the Aus blogging community, Chantelle. Negative people just want to extinguish that light. x
(Aside: I, too, have felt a sting at a Problogger conference. x)
Oh really? That’s not cool. I hope you were able to overcome it. Why are people assholes?
Great post. I’m sorry you had a moment like that at PB, but I’m glad that your reflection on it is positive. It was so great to see you there again. (And thanks for sharing this here. So many relatable moments.) x
So nice to see you again too. ?
Those moments are crap aren’t they? I’m sorry you had this happen to you. It feels awful and I usually get the terrible overwhelming feeling of “what if they are right? What if everyone feels this way about me?”. I have chastised myself for being too sensitive and worrying but as I’ve grown older, I realise that it is one of the best things about me, it is why I am particularly effective at my job. Your sensitivity is one of the reasons your blog is so successful. Your kindness and empathy can be truly felt here and it is nice place to come and read and join in. Your sensitivity sets an example and encourages others to be kinder, gentler and more understanding. xxxx
Oh lovely, thank you. I did get the pang of, “This is how it is. This is what everyone thinks. I’m a shit mum.”
And then I came home, and my girls smothered me, and I realised… someone from the outside doesn’t get to decide who I am and how good I am at something. The proof is in my girls. They love me, they’re awesome, they feel SO loved, and they’re amazing human beings.
Your words mean SO much to me, so super dooper thank you!
I hated that moment for you. It was so undeserved and it made me come over all Tiger Mother. Speaks volumes about that person, not much of it good! But what you focus on grows, so focus on the awesome. Focus on me, if you like 😉
All the awesome and gonna get awesomer (totally a word) 🙂
Hahaha! Yes, I will. I hope you weirdly feel me focusing on you.
Also, Shane was searching for you on Sunday night at the airport. Weirdo. Didn’t find you, obviously? Said to me, “There weren’t many bloggers at the airport on the weekend, and usually there are… you know, cos you guys stand out.”
Maybe we’re starting to blend in.
omg I didn’t have my tin foil hat on! Don’t know how he missed me, I stood in line for a deep fried potato ball for about 184 minutes
DEEP FRIED POTATO BALL!!!
haha it was the potato bites or whatever they were from red rooster. I was a bit dusty and required deep fried salt!
Oh so these potato bits are achievable for me!! Awesome!!
What the heck is a deep fried potato ball? And where do I get one? Is it worth the wait?
Or is that a joke that I’m not getting?
You can be the ripest juiciest peach and someone aint gonna like peaches! You my friend are sweet and funny and supremely talented and that’s just fine by me ?
Thanks Jenni. I like peaches and I most definitely like YOU. 🙂
For what it’s worth, I absolutely LOVED your talk and took so much from it x Yes I’m the weird fan girl who pretty much dived on you at the end of the session #nocontrol Thanks for your awesome advice and keep up everything you’re doing x x
I loved the dive! It was so nice chatting to you. Thanks for showing up! 🙂
I’m so sad that happened to you Chantelle. Unhelpfully we’re wired up to have a ‘negativity bias’ that makes the crappiest stuff the loudest. It takes effort to overcome that and that effort is greatest when we’re tired – physically or emotionally. It speaks volumes that you could so quickly recognise the experience for what it was and choose consciously to turn it around. Here’s to a much better 2017 for many of us 🙂 x
Thanks Ellen. Is the way through to unpack it all, process it and let it go? This is something I want to work on, as well as stopping to actually celebrate my achievements. I never do, and I think it’s important that I find a way to acknowledge in a way I’m comfortable with.
Yep, unpack it exactly as you’ve done in this post and then let it go. We all build up a lifetime of thinking habits just like any other habits and some of those are unhelpful habits. They are the instant automatic negative thoughts (ANTS) that pop up in response to a comment or a situation – just as you’ve described. The trick is to notice the ANTS, recognise them for what they are (automatic unhelpful habits NOT fact or reality) and to turn them into positive energising thoughts (PETS). Acknowledging your achievements is a perfect way to turns ANTS into PETS. Remind yourself of all the things you have and do get absolutely right every day and focus on that. As Stacey said, what you focus on grows! xx
I hate that those moments suck the joy out of things for us. I have one of those moments stuck in my head about the last conference I attended (I kid you not! I fled the room ended up hysterical and having a full blown panic attack pain down my arm not able to breathe – noone would have seen that because I just left quietly to go to the toilet but I was a complete mess) and consequently I freeze at the thought of going to another event. Even something completely unrelated to what that was! The other thing is that I know there was a lot of good from that weekend I just can’t get to the good through the memory of the bad!
Big hugs ‘Telle you are not alone on this and I am so glad you were able to get to the other side and make that decision to let it go.
Oh gosh, that sounds horrible. I hope you can process it all, and allow yourself to attend another event. I’m sure it will be worth it. xx
I so hope the remainder of the year brings nothing but joy to you. You bring so much joy to others you deserve a big fat juicy piece FUNTASTIC pie. xxxx
Thanks Beck! I reckon I’m up for some easy living. BRING IT ON, and the pie! 😛
I’m sorry you had to deal with something so negative on what was otherwise a fabulous few days. You’re an inspiration to so many of us and that should be celebrated x
Thanks lovely. Was so nice seeing you again. xx
Sucks when people want to ruin your spark with a few nasty words. While rationally we all know it says a lot more about the person that us, it’s hard to let it go straightaway, isn’t it? Thanks for sharing this and I’m sorry someone was nasty to you. It’s been a tough year for you and you certainly don’t need that. Side note — 2016 has been crap! I can’t wait to see off the tail end and begin the new year. Onwards and upwards Chantelle and thanks for sharing this.
Oh man, I’ve never really, truly got into celebrating the New Year, because life is mostly good… but this New Year… I need to do something special.
Thanks for popping in and your kind words. xx
Urgh. I’m so sorry that lady made you feel bad – there is no accounting for some people’s taste! I’m pleased you’ve been all Elsa about it and let it go. You were made to be awesome, remember that!
Thanks Sam! You were made to be awesome too.
Also, I told Shane that I’m going to do the Disney run with you, and he laughed and thought that it was the most random goal ever… but WATCH ME RUN HUSBAND.
YES! Let’s all run with Sammie in amazing Disney costumes!
I can’t believe that anyone would not LOVE you! I wasn’t at ProBlogger – too pregnant to fly 🙁 – so I don’t know what went down at ProBlogger, but don’t let it define you. I wrote a blog post what really took off a couple of weeks ago. I written and re-written and edited and edited it until I was completely happy with what I had to say. It was one of the biggest blog posts on my blog EVER {and I’ve been blogging for almost 9 years}. It was resonating with people and my community got me. And then someone found it and decided to twist my words and turn it into a shit storm…and you know what, in the end it really had nothing to do with me. It was their cross to bear and I’ve made that post private and I’m moving on because those people aren’t worth it.
Oh wow. That’s so sad. I think you should make that post public, just as a power thing. That it’s not about you, and it was an awesome post.
I know, I felt that it was a power thing and I was really against taking it down. But I took it down for my husband, not to give in to anyone or to admit that I was in the wrong.
Oh Chantelle that’s just the worst, some people are so thoughtless with their words.
I’m so sorry that you had to deal with that. I absolutely adore you and I was so thrilled that I finally got to see you in person after knowing you online for so long. It was definitely one of the highlights of my time at Problogger.
You are just pure sunshine Chantelle, and anyone who thinks otherwise is just not seeing the world right. Much love xx
I can’t believe someone said something shitty to you! Did they not know who are?? That blows my mind– but I also want to smack-your-face-up {just a little bit} for giving it air time in your own mind for even 1 second!! You’re freaking ah-mazing!! A lion does not care what the sheep think!! Roar baby ROAR!!!
So sad this happened to someone I admire so much. I hope the glow of the rest of the conference is able to brighten the path to let this go. They don’t deserve your concern. X
Sorry you had a downer of an experience at the event this year in the midst of what sounds like a good time for you. Don’t let it get you down – looking at the many comments below you obviously had a positive impact upon many. Keep creating!
That is really shit! I didn’t know this happened to you and I am so sorry one of the sad people slurped all their sadness on you. I am glad you have kicked it to the kerb because you are beautifully rad!
Thank god for Elsa, just think how many moods have been lifted by thinking about that song. Focus on the love, the great stuff.
Belatedly, I must apologise to you for stumbling in your direction last year at PB when I’d definitely had too much to drink and I think I even tripped over. I think I was wanting to tell you how much I’d loved a post of yours. I was MORTIFIED and thought about emailing to say how embarrassed I was and to apologise for possiblu harassing you drinkenly.
Oh dear oh dear, I have carried that embarrassment all year.
Now I shall let that go… funnily enough I just wrote a post on my personal blog about being in a hate phase again with alcohol as I’d been letting it creep up on me… it must be the time of year. I will have to look out for it next year and not let drinking increase as winter grinds to a halt.
Chantelle, you’re a radiant, successful woman who seems genuinely adorable and sweet. These qualities are deeply threatening to some. And by some, I mean majorly lame jerks.
So sorry someone else’s bullshit gave you even a moment of pause and self-doubt. You don’t deserve it. Keep being radiant and successful. It suits you so well!