I went to the doctors a while back, because it’s winter and the germs be rampant. Lacey will generously bring home a bug, whinge her way through it, then Lulu will get it, whinge her way through it and then 6 days later Lacey will find another bug to bring home. Joyful, joyful.
My usual doctor is off on maternity {Hey Erin! Yes, my awesome doctor sometimes reads my blog} so I just booked with whatever doctor was free. My doctors is awesome in that you can make an appointment via an App. I often do it in the middle of the night when I’m not getting any sleep due to sick child syndrome.
I waited 73 hours minutes in the waiting room, probably collecting more germs and then walked in to see the doctor.
After he diagnosed Hand, Foot and Mouth disease {also known as coxsackievirus. Yeah, say that 3 times fast}, I wanted to cry. Not because of the diagnosis, because really… who cares. I’ve seen it before, she’d get over it quickly, but because I felt like a crap mum. “Why do my kids keep getting sick? What am I doing wrong?”
I expected him to tell me to feed them more vegetables and fruits, to up their vitamin intake, and maybe travel to far off lands to drink the nectar of the immunity gods. Maybe not that last one.
But what he said made me want to cry even more.
He gave me a stern talking to. “Hey now. Listen. You’re doing everything right. You’re a good mum. They need to get sick to build their immunity. You are a good mum.”
Do you know how validating it is to hear someone tell you that you’re a good mum? I can tell you, because it happened and it was so validating that I want to rank it up there with eating really good cake. It feels good. Maybe even better than eating good cake. Of course he didn’t really know if I was a good mum. He saw me for that 5 minutes, and that was it, but I was taking it and running. I WAS a good mum. I AM a good mum.
I’ve been thinking about it lately, and I probably need to give myself a bit more of a break. I’m not perfect. Oh heck no, I’m not. But I am a good mum. I care. I do, and I love them… lots.
So I want to tell you this too, you’re a good mum. An awesome one even. Put the kettle on, put your feet up {and let the kids destroy the house for a bit, eek!} or maybe even retreat to the toilet for 3 minutes and lock the door. You’re awesome.
You’re a good mum. x
I love this post and I love that doctor. Parenthood is so hard – but that small validation makes up for so much self-doubt 🙂 Mim x
It does. We need it, and I don’t know if he realised how powerful his words were… but it meant a lot. xxx
It’s honestly such a good doctors surgery. Yes the wait is ridiculous but they more then make up for it. And let’s hope Erin is back soon! We LOVE her! Of course your are good mum xxx
It is is such a good surgery. At least it’s a nice place to wait in. 🙂
… absolutely true Chantelle ….. take the validation… you earned it…. We all earned it. Just taking the kids to the Dr. and asking that question shows you are a caring and good Mum….
This might sound a little strange, but my Mum is 98 and lives with me…. I talked to my family about how I thought she was going a bit strange sometimes… they couldn’t see this and told me there was nothing wrong with Mum and that they were pleased ‘she had all her marbles’ at her age and that I was tha problem.. that it was just my axiety/panic attack problem kicking in… I felt so bad… I went and saw Mum’s Dr. without Mum’ so I could takk to her lk about my worries.. the first thing she said to my was ‘you do know your Mum has some dementia don’t you Barbara.’ … I felt so relieved and validated that I almost cried……
Now I am relaxed with Mum.. I take the weird with the wonderful. and enjoy each day with her..
All you young Mum’s out in Blogland are amazing Mothers….. and I love being a good daughter…. YAY US… xxxxx
Oh Barb, I’m so sad that they put that onto you. That’s so unfair, but I’m so glad that you got answers. I hope they apologised. x
… yes they did Chantelle…., and now they are picking up on little things with Mum …
hugs,… Barb xxx
… sorry for the long story Chantelle… I couldn’t say what I wanted to in just a few words.. xxxx 🙂
The other morning my daughter’s scripture teacher came and introduced herself to me and said she just had to tell me what a beautiful, kind and thoughtful little girl I was raising and how she always made excellent contributions in the lesson. She ended the conversation with “Excellent parenting, you’re doing a great job Mum!” It was honestly just what I needed to hear, as I had laid awake for hours the night before worrying that she might be struggling in some areas this year at school and should I have noticed sooner? She might not have the neatest handwriting or be the best speller, but she really is kind and thoughtful, and I think that’s what’s most important in the end ? (and there’s always spell check, right?? haha)
That is beautiful Michelle. I love when teachers or other people tell us how beautifully behaved our kids are. I love that. 🙂
Oh Chantelle, you have NO idea how much I needed to read this post today! Thankyou xx ps:- you are a GREAT mum!!!! xx
I hope everything is ok Lou? You are an awesome mum. I was only thinking that the other day when I saw the photos of your kids rolling down the grassy hill. I was thinking how good you are and how I need to find myself a grassy hill. You are an AWESOME mum. xx
Thankyou for saying Chantelle. Just having a bit of a rough time with kids…wondering if I’ve broken them. We’ll be fine, just gotta get back to basics. Was hoping to be invited to the Olympus thing in sydders & then noticed that my comment wasn’t even on there! I did enter but it didn’t register. So weird!
We had that last winter….I seemed not be at doctors every fortnight…with at least one of my kids.
Doctor told me the same thing you heard….you are a good mum, they need to build immunity and he was right. Not there ask much this year.
Oh good. I have hope for next year!
Yay for doctors who know what to say. It’s a tough gig, and even tougher when they are sick. I’m going to get the phrase “I’m a mum, what’s your super power?” printed to put in my office. Xx
I love this! I’d buy that on a t-shirt!
I love it! It is a freaking super-power!
I had a doctor give me a similar talking to when I felt bad about weaning. I love those moments 🙂
I need that pep talk too!
Great timing as I just got home from the doctors with both of my kids…this year has been the worst so far for colds and viruses! They must be building one heck of a good immune system. x
Yeah, they must be building an immunity shield! It’s been quite the year. I can see spring and summer just around the corner though… we’re almost out.
My kids never get sick, NEVER! Until last year. And I do not exaggerate when I say we started in May (with an overnight stay at the children’s hospital with my 4 month old) and finished up in September. NON. STOP. One after the other, after the other, after the other, repeat, repeat. I felt like shit. I was convinced it was my fault. But it was just a bad run (I hope!) it’s awful that feeling. What am I doing wrong? What can I do? Gah!!
It feels like that, doesn’t it? So much self-questioning, and then the willing of magical powers to immediately fix everything. I’m so glad your stressful run is over. xxx
He’s a wise wise man, listen to him!! And thanks for the encouragement, right back atcha xx
Thanks lovely! 🙂
It is so nice when people just give you a little reassurance {because we are all just trying to be the best parents that we can be}. You are amazing! Thanks for the pep talk 🙂
That little bit meant so much. I think I really needed it. 🙂
Aww its nice to have someone tell you that you are doing a good job. 🙂
I feel like a crap Mum myself. My whole household (hubby, myself and our 2 girls) have been so sick this year. Its literally been one thing after another. My youngest has bronchitis and been coughing constantly at night. This morning she vomited after eating. I am hoping its just from all the coughing and its not the vomiting bug my eldest had last week. I keep thinking “Why are we getting so sick, we eat healthy, they take vitamin C etc” “What am I doing wrong”.
Yeayh! 🙂 I feel like moms use to ALWAYS think that they aren’t doing
things as they should or that they are bad moms. But they’re not. You
raise your kids with ALL of your heart. So, you’re a good mom, let them
get dirty, or take a bug home… It won’t pretty, but it’ll be healathy
for them and you. 🙂
I love this!!! I feel the same way….Violet currently has conjuctivitis and a cough, and I swear to god my first thought was that it was my fault (missed a multi-vitamin/didn’t force her to put a jumper on/hadn’t made her eat all her dinner etc). We work 24/7 for our kidlets and do a great job most of the time…but we never tell ourselves that and if someone else tells us we deny it! Thanks for saying it out loud…and right back atcha!