Why women love The Notebook & men love to hate it

One of the best things about visiting ‘home’ is that it always feels like you’re stepping back in time. The weekend before last, when I visited, the local radio station was playing re-runs of Hamish and Andy {circa Megan Gale & Andy in a relationship – so over a year ago} and because I missed this particular show so many months ago, I got to hear it for the first time.

Hamish was talking about girls and sad movies. He was in disbelief that someone would purposely go out and pick a DVD that would make them cry. “It’s like going to a restaurant,” he said, “and ordering a meal that you know you’re going to hate, just so you can vomit it up.”

As a girl that likes sad movies, and doesn’t like vomiting, I can assure you {and Hamish} that it’s not the same at all. I love sad movies. I love crying at sad movies. And there is no sadder or more tear-inducing movie than The Notebook.

I know that when Hubby reads this post, he’ll be rolling his eyes. He and Hamish are from the same party {that being the ‘I just don’t get women sometimes’ party}. He refuses to watch The Notebook, and I think the first time I made him watch it, he poked me in the side and ribbed me for being so pathetically emotional. I could watch the movie over and over and over again, and cry every single time, preferably alone.

Davina Dummer recently wrote over on Yahoo, “In the film, Noah romances Ally despite her initially rejecting him, embarks on a romance with her, despite over hearing her family’s dislike of him. After breaking up, he writes to her everyday for one year, 365 letters, rebuilds her dream house and informs every woman he meets that he still loves Ally. Skip ahead and we discover that he has looked after her as she has battled Alzheimers. Is anything more romantic?”

No Davina, there isn’t. It’s the most beautiful love story… ever. So why do men dislike The Notebook? Davina says it’s because “a man like Noah does not really exist. Men dislike that we want something, which we ultimately are not able to have.”

I’d also like to add that it lacks the obligatory fight scenes or blood and gore that most men seem to enjoy when it comes to movie watching.

Why do women love The Notebook? For me it’s because it’s a beautiful story of true love and triumph. The part that gets me so choked up is that their love lasted all the way to the very end. They promised to love each other forever, and they did.

And then there’s the emotional release, the crying, the tears, the roller coaster ride of emotions {even when watching it for the seventh time}. I can’t explain that part, but I love crying at sad movies. All I know is that it’s not like eating a meal you know you don’t like & vomiting it up. Oh no, it’s not like that at all.

Do you like movies that make you cry? Why do you think women like movies that make them cry?

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{image via pinterest}

39 thoughts on “Why women love The Notebook & men love to hate it”

  1. Because we all need a GOOD cry sometimes… to let it all out! To either love that our man is just as awesome as Noah, or keep hoping to find that man! 🙂

  2. I am putting my hand up and admitting that I did NOT cry during The Notebook. I thought it was a beautiful, beautiful movie though and I love it, but I'm just not a crier. Men just don't recognise or appreciate an amazing love story when they see it xxx

  3. Ahhh the Notebook, my husband said it was a great movie when we watched it, “from behind his eyelids”, yes he actually fell asleep during it. It's a favourite movie of mine I have watched countless times. I don't cry anymore, but that hasn't made it any less romantic and beautiful. Women are emotional beings & I think a good cry during a movie helps relieve some built up tension or emotional generally held within us.

  4. I must be the only woman who's husband liked the movie. I wouldn't go as far as to say he'd watch it again, nor he'd hire it if I were alone (cause for concern, I think 😉 ), but he definitely enjoyed watching it. Then again he likes 'those sort of girly flicks', as he'd put it. Ones with a good story line (as this did) & he doesn't mind them. Movie's like 'Where the Heart Is' (another of my favourites) – not so much. lol

  5. Love that movie not only for the romance, but hey I'll admit also for the major crush I have Ryan Gosling! I'm with you on loving crying movies, I think I love them so much because it makes me feel.

  6. The husband likes some girly movies but others cross a line in the sand somewhere and I suspect The Notebook is one of them. I LOVE these sorts of movies. I have reality 24/7, when I watch a movie I'm all about escapism. Preferably romantic escapism. Although husband would probably watch The Notebook because Rachel McAdams is in it and she's on his celebrity-out list.

  7. I am not allowed to tell anyone that my husband cried in the notebook. It was not my favourite movie. But the end when she has that lucid moment – oh how we cried. and cried. But I didn't tell you that. shhhhh

  8. It depends for me. I LOVED the Notebook. But I waited easily 6 years before I sat and watched it. Because when I start crying, I can't stop. A tiny little cry over a tv commercial has me crying for hours over everything that has ever made me sad. I'm not saying it's normal or healthy, but it's me.

    But that movie – oh. Sublime. And THAT kiss….has there been a better one in cinema (maybe that kiss in Becoming Jane???).

    But I've not been able to sit and subject myself to PS I love You, despite everyone telling me I'll love it. I lasted 10 minutes. I cried literally all night, and feel sick to my stomach at the thought of it.

    My psych says I'm toooo empathetic and too unable to separate other people's (I guess even imaginary people's) sadness from my own. So I'm part Hamish/Part Chantelle. But totally PRO Chantelle re Notebook.

    My husband loved it. I don't know that he'd watch it again, but he loved it.

  9. Toushka – Joel and I BAWLED when she had her lucid moment. ANd again when they died together (much better than the book ending)..

  10. I absolutely love this movie. Apart from it being such a beautiful film, it's just nice to have a good cry sometimes.
    And just quietly, I'm glad men don't like watching it. Otherwise I'd have to put up with my Mr making fun at me crying when Noah and Ally kiss in the rain.

  11. Love a good cry, I actually think it's good for the soul to release some sad emotions and a cry may not solve any problems but sometimes it's what you need.

    As much as I love the movie, I can't watch The Notebook too often as it reminds me of my grandparents. Although their story is vERY different to that of the movie, over the years it was my pop that looked after my nan with various health and mental illnesses. He passed away several years ago and my nan now lives in a nursing home and is a different person than she used to be and wishes for her time to come. As sad as it makes me I sometimes wish for her, that life was like the movies…….

  12. I actually saw this on my 30th Birthday with my best friend and we sobbed. the girls behind us were a blubbering mess. I purposely did not read the book until after the movie and sobbed all over again. I have made every boyfriend since sit through it because i have to sit through their movies so it is only fair. Only one wanted to watch it again. So guys do like it but just won't openly admit it. The follow up book “the wedding” is a poignant reminder of enduring love.

  13. I love a good cry, but after something occurred a few years ago in my family I can no longer watch sad movies. I just can't. I like escapist movies but not the ones that will have me in a blubbering mess at the end. Maybe because I know reality is so painful? I haven't seen The Notebook though I love the quotes that come through on twitter about it. I am fine reading books that are tragic but something about movies like this touches on nerves that are clearly still very raw. Sorry for the essay x

  14. Mr Mel doesn't get why I'd want to watch a movie I've already seen, knowing it will make me cry, ie The Notebook. He shakes his head, looks sideways at me on the couch, handing me a tissue and mumbling 'chicks'. 🙂 I read the book The Notebook, and had to put it down to go get tissues as the pages were all blurry, almost crying again writing this! Guys just don't get it 🙂

  15. I love sad movies, especially when I need a good cry. Stepmom, Beaches and Steel Magnolias are right up there for me along with The Notebook.

  16. I definitely agree that having a good cry is a wonderful thing and I think for women, allows us to just totally let go and get it all out.
    Watching a sad movie is just an excuse for us to let go of all we've been holding in for days/weeks/months. So yes, I totally love a good cry.

    However…I think Im in a teeny group of women who didnt like the Notebook. Everyone raves about that film but it just didnt do it for me. Not sure why cause I usually love those kinds of films.

  17. I love the Notebook too!
    Actually my cousin's husband took her on a suprise trip to Sydney once and the Notebook was the movie on the plane – he cried -aww! She thought he was a bit of a softie – until they got to Sydney and he proposed. Maybe it just takes the right circumstances 🙂

  18. oh and the most I've ever cried was in the last 6 minutes of the finale of Six Feet Under.
    Holy hell, those 6 minutes ruined me.

  19. I have to raise my hand and admit that I've never cried whilst watching The Notebook. However; I cheat in that I've never SEEN The Notebook. Clearly it is a movie I MUST watch but I've just never gotten around to it. It's on the list…

  20. Oh my goodness – you are so right! I love movies that make me cry and my husband thinks I'm a fruit loop for wanting to subject myself to it.

    I love “The Notebook”. “PS I love You” is a major tear jerker for me as is “Nights in Rodanthe”.

    There is actually a funny episode on 'Everybody loves Raymond' where Deborah watched 'Ice Castles' and does the crying thing and Raymond sees her through the window (I think) and doesn't get it.

  21. I love movies that make me cry! I watched Free Willy (the original) with my son for the first time today…..and I cried….and he asked why I was crying. I had to explain that I was just so happy that Willy was freed…..

  22. I think I'm more the Romantic Comedy type of girl. I do adore The Notebook, but I don't cry watching it. I just loved it. I cry more in movies where animals die or get hurt. And ET would have to be the one movie where I ball my eyes out. LOL. Hope that doesn't make me strange!

  23. My boyfriend has never seen it and the other day I was telling him what the story was about and I ended up in tears! I'd cried watching the movie but never retelling it to someone else before.

    I think that the reason I cried was because I realised that I have a man like Noah who loves me every bit as much as Noah loves Ally in the story and I felt very overwhelmed by it.

    It's definitely on my list of things to watch when I get back to my stuff that is in storage in a couple weeks!

  24. Love love love it – sweetest most loveable character ever. I named my son Noah – need I say more. I'm training him to be just like those men in movies that don't seem to exist. They actually do I've met a few – but not in Aus only when I lived in America.

  25. I adored The Notebook – and movies like it that make you cry in a beautiful way. I posted about it last week after I saw an older couple at my local gym in the pool together(dancing at one point) and they reminded me of The Notebook and the idea of love lasting through the ages. Is there anything more beautiful than that? xx

  26. I love a lot of movies, but not BECAUSE they make me cry. If it's a good story, and then just happens to make me emotional, then it goes up a notch.

  27. I LOVE The Notebook Chantelle. It is so funny your hubby refuses to watch it, as mine is the same. In fact, the first time I ever watched it, was on my little Macbook, sitting up in bed, while hubby watched the footy in the lounge room! My friend leant me the DVD and I remember sitting there, propped up with pillows, crying like a baby. Hubby just didn't get it.
    I think it's fair to say 'most' women are more in touch with their emotions that men are… hence why we gravitate to movies that bring out those emotions.

  28. Honesty time… I just teared up reading your post as I was reliving it all again!!! 🙂

    So obviously I'm a crier!

    And The Notebook is my favourite movie. It's so beautiful, inspiring and the ultimate romantic movie. I cry (actually, bawl) every time I see it. Every time I get something more out of it.

    My hubby actually loves it too, so I'm quite lucky. And doesn't every one want to love their partner til the very end? Just beautiful. x

  29. crying releases hormones. hormones that you havent cried out over your own life. when you let them out…instant release.
    we dont watch sad movies to be sad, we watch them to feel better.

  30. I like movies that make me cry. Mr. Rugby can't understand it at all. I think there is an indulgence in sitting and crying in front of the tv – it allows you to cry over something 'obvious' when maybe you just need to cry over all the non- obvious things!

  31. If you want a tear jerker, What Dreams May Come, with robin williams is the best for that. I have seen it half a dozen times and it still makes me cry the ugly cry every time.

  32. When I named my second son, Noah, most people assumed it was because I'd watched The Notebook. I hadn't until just a year ago, and now I know what the fuss was all about. It was gorgeous. And yes. I cried.

    Loved every minute! xx

  33. I am a man i cried at the movie….and i loved the movie….. Because i think i can relate to noah…..i think i am like him…..and my story is she left me for her parents …..her father pressurized her….i still love her madly …..i cry for her daily….even though its 3 year

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