Who were you in high school?

pink-hair

Social Media definitely makes the world smaller, doesn’t it?

I have a friend Jodie. I’ll call her that because that’s her name. We met in preschool, and probably bonded over the fruit bowl. When I was in preschool the fruit bowl was shared and passed around the circle, each kid taking a piece and passing the bowl on. It would be a hygiene-nightmare in today’s world. From memory the bananas were highly coveted and the apples were shunned. Strawberries never appeared.

This fruit bowl talk is totally irrelevant to this story, mind you… but I love a walk down memory lane.

After preschool we parted ways. Jodie went to one school, I went to another. And that was that.

Fast forward twenty years when my sister met a boy and got married. Her sister-in-law is now… you guessed it… Jodie. The world is small, I tell you.

A few weeks back I commented on something Jodie wrote on Facebook, and another friend {Simone} that I went to high school with saw it. She’s also friends with Jodie, which makes the world even smaller because we’re all connected somehow, aren’t we?

Anyway, Simone wrote, “OHMYGAWD. How do you know Chantelle? This is weird. We were in the Bevs at high school!”

It immediately took me straight back to high school. And now I need to explain what the Bevs were/are. The Bevs were the ‘cool’ group at school. I was in that group. Well, I don’t want to say ‘in’ it, but I definitely lingered on the outskirts of that group. I would never label myself cool. I floated, chatting to all the groups. The nerds, the surfers, the quirky ones, all of them. We were called the Bevs, or someone within the group probably labeled us that, because Beverly Hills 90210 was cool at that stage and we were them. But in Australia. With a lot less money. And not so big hair.

Cringe.

Do you remember high school? When it was your everything? It was impossible to imagine life beyond that. Life, seriously… a life without friendship groups, and parties every weekend and study, and a constant rumbling of friendship dramas, and the boys across the way.

My little sister reminded me just last weekend, “Remember when you prayed that you’d get sick so that you could just wouldn’t have to deal with the HSC {end of high school exam} anymore?” I didn’t remember, but I remember just being so over school after 12 years of it. From kindergarten to year 10 I got awards for being most proficient, or most conscientious. Kids used to engrave into tables ‘Chantelle is teacher’s pet’, and it was true. I was. But then year 10 rolled around and I was done. My brain was done. I was bored with it and I didn’t want to learn algebra or economics anymore.

I ended up getting sick, but that was AFTER the HSC was done and dusted. All that wishing and praying worked, only a little delayed. I came down with an illness that knocked me down for months. I couldn’t walk. I slept on the floor in the lounge room because I couldn’t get up the stairs each night. My sister had to bath me {lucky her}. I’ve never been in so much pain. It was from that point on that high school kinda died too. I’d finished, of course, but all that felt so important about high school and insular about high school, it all disappeared as I ventured into real life, as it does for everyone, I assume. I don’t think you can tell anyone that though, when they’re IN it, that it’s all a little bit irrelevant when you finish with it. Not the stuff you learned, but the friendship hierarchy and the social groups.

I’m imagining that most high schools were the same. The groups. The labels. Were they? I think we go through life gathering friends. We keep some from high school, and add to our little gaggle of people that get us. Our gang. People who’ll laugh at us when we fall over in the middle of the night, in the mud, tearing our stockings and grazing our knees {that was me last Friday, in case you’re wondering}.

Today I’m heading up to Noosa to spend some time with my best mate from high school. We were the odd couple. We met behind the hall on the first days of high school. She’s teeny tiny, I’m twice her size. But we hit it off back then, and somehow ended up in the Bevs together. Again, cringe. It feels remarkably grown up to have jobs, and husbands, and kids, and responsibilities.

So, it’s got me thinking. Who were you in high school? Are you still the same person you were back then? And did you have a Bevs group? Cringe.

41 thoughts on “Who were you in high school?”

  1. In high school, I was that kid who has an English teacher of a mother. Most kids remained aloof around me for that reason.

      • My dad was a ninth grade social studies teacher with piercing blue eyes. At my HS reunion people remembered him more than they did me!. And I was yearbook editor and exchange student.

      • I forgot to mention that I became my mom’s student in public speaking, too. It was interesting, but certainly not fun at the time! 😛

  2. I was such a goody 2 shoes. I went to boarding school and on the first day when I rocked up and found my bed in the dormitory (it was totes like Enid Blyton’s Malory Towers,) I said hello to the girl next door and she was also Sam (only then I was Mandy – don’t ask.) Turns out our birthdays are one day apart and despite living on different sides of the planet, we’re still besties more than 30 years later. I can’t wait to give her a big hug when I see her in a few weeks! PS Enjoy Noosa!

  3. Ugh I hate high school more as the parent of teens that I did when I actually went to high school!!!

  4. I hated high school! I lived on Mt Tamborine but went to school on the Gold Coast where the cool group was ‘Barbie & Kens’…so blonde n tanned n skinny but funnily no real lookers. They were all so co ordinated at aerobics and had the coolest roller skates and spiral perms. I was a floater, in most groups but walking to the beat of my own drum. I have a son who was a super achiever and is now in year 11…like you he’s over it. It’s tough to watch your kids like that and even tougher to know what to do.

    • I think what I really needed was a year off traveling or something to make me see the bigger picture.

      I had a few bad teachers who didn’t give a shit if you were learning or not, as long as they were putting the curriculum on the board, they were happy with their efforts.

      I don’t t know, that must be so hard to deal with. I feel for you. xxx

  5. I totally loved school and I have to say I did hang with the cool crowd but I always spread myself around and spent time with loads of different people and groups. I look back now and I am so happy that I befriended so many people and did not just be friends with the one group and to be honest there were loads who did just that. I have also taught my daughters to spread themselves around different groups and they have. V x

    • I’m trying to teach Lacey that, but she seems to always go back to the same people – which is totally fine – but there’s much heartache attached to that. The friends thing can be so complicated!

  7. I was totally *not* one of the cool kids. I was one of the weirdos – the art/drama/alternative group. I went to a very stuffy private school and at one point, I was one of like 3 goths in the whole school (of about 10k students). It was insane. I hated that school, but I must admit I did get a kickass education and for that I’m very grateful. But he clique-y nature of high school made life hell!

    xx Anastasia Amour .com

  8. I was that kid at school that argued with all the teachers and was so stubborn that I never gave in – man did I do a heap of detention. I was also that kid who went against the flow e.g. when it was so NOT cool to wear Roman Sandals I started wearing Roaman sandals and I didn’t give a care what anyone else thought and then everyone started to wear them.

  9. I was in the middle forgettable group. That’s what I call it. My bros confirm I was a geek. But I wasn’t geek or cool. I’m the one that bumps into old class mates 20 years later and no one recognises me! “Jo?!!” My school reunion on the other hand was AWESOME! I guess the pony hair pimpled shy girl, with thick glasses finally blossomed and oozes confidence! Suuuch a late bloomer. High school would of been so different if I had an ounce of confidence! I adored BH 90210 – but that was part if my geekiness too.

  11. In primary school, I was the little scaredy-cat-goody-two-shoes with glasses who never got into trouble. In high school, I was the floater. Never fitted in to any one particular group, never felt like I belonged. The day I finished high school was the best day in my books!

  12. High school – I shudder to think that it’s 25 years since I did my HSC. I had a close group of friends, made up of the “Inbetweeners” – we weren’t cool, we weren’t mean or tough, but we weren’t nerds/geeks/freaks either. In the group, we had brainiacs, arty creatives, and me, the dreamy romantic Gleek who was never allowed to realise her dreams. We never got picked on by the others, nor did we ever pick on others. We were all pretty much left to our own devices, as we were also friendly with everyone else in our year as well as the rest of the school. We were a pretty respectful bunch – we had good relationships with the teachers and didn’t muck up too much. I am still good friends with one of the girls – we catch up sporadically throughout the year, but the rest of my group dropped off to live their own lives about 2 years after high school – a bunch of them got married and some moved away for uni/work/etc.

    I can still remember our 10-year reunion, which I attended with my best male friend (his own 10-year reunion was a month after mine and he wanted to gauge what it would be like to attend a school reunion). He came mainly to support me as I was anxious about the reunion – I was single, childless, and working 3 jobs to cover my mortgage and pay my way through uni as a mature-aged student. And every time I was asked what I was up to, if I was married/dating/seeing anyone, if I had kids, etc, upon hearing my answer, I received the “sympathy look” and an “oh”, as if I’d just told them I had a terminal disease. The cool group still hung with and spoke only to the cool group, and all the cliques were still there. My best mate and I left early and went back to my place and got drunk.

    Fast forward to 5 years ago, and I was nervously getting ready to attend the 20-year reunion. I was newly married, 30 weeks pregnant with the Big One, and feeling just as anxious as I did the 10-year reunion. Hubby came along, and promptly left me after 15 minutes, as I was enveloped into the one very large circle of ladies who were just happy to see each other. No more cliques, no more “group distinctions”, just one happy bunch of people, glad to have a night at the pub with people to chat with over a few drinks. And we all “friended” each other on FB and are still in touch.

    Funny how things change and memories fade over the passage of time.

    • I was talking to a friend the other day about your comment. My school friend actually. We were talking about the school reunion – ours is in 3 years {it will be TWENTY YEARS, sheesh}. We talked about not going, then I shared your story, and we thought that we should just go and have fun. We’ve had babies, got married lived a little more… and heck, anything for a night off!

      • 10-year reunions are hard. People are still trying to stake their place in the world, and everyone is still competing with each other to be the better / bigger person. 20-year reunions are a lot more relaxed – we’ve done stuff, seen stuff, been through stuff, and some have even changed a bunch of stuff, so it makes for much easier, more interesting and less competitive conversations.

        I remember talking to one girl at the 20-year, and she was very defensive when I asked her what she was up to. She immediately said “I’m single, no kids, still working in the magazine world and loving life.” To which I replied “Awesome! Which mag do you work with?” She was surprised I didn’t grill her about why she wasn’t married and didn’t have kids. I guess those questions were still being asked, just not to me, as I was clearly about to have a child so everyone assumed there was a man (correct, but still, assumptions were made).

        My hot tip is: go to the 20-year reunion. Throw on some glad rags, slap on some war paint, and go and have a few drinks. Besides, you have reinforcement who you actually went to school with, which I didn’t have (Hubby was my escape plan, which I didn’t need). It will be fun. Trust me. 🙂

  13. I was a later in high school but I met a lot of nice people. I wasn’t “cool” and I looked like a 12 years old but it was great. If I knew, I just studied a little more.

  14. Oh that’s such a gorgeous story – and yes it is such a small world! I went to a pretty small high school so it wasn’t too groupy – everyone kinda knew each other. Most of my friends now I either went to uni with, worked with or are our ‘couple’ friends. I don’t think I’d have a huge amount in common with my high school friends anymore! They’re all gorgeous people, but we really all went our own ways after school finished!

  15. We were called the barbies. We even had a burnt barbie thrown at us. To which we responded by donning the girl in and calling a mediation meeting. Good times.

    I am so far from a barbie it isn’t funny. A lot of us were, so I don’t know how we got the name.

    Kids are less cliquey nowadays, I think. They’re all friends with each other. Th and to social media!

  16. I look back and hate so much of what I remember about my highschool. I went to a selective all girls highschool. I was sports captain and moved with a group of girls who were all in the same subjects – sporty so PD/PE, high level english, low level maths. My school was just sooo competitive. I begged mum and dad to let me move somewhere else. As an educator myself now I try not to replicate anything that was done there and would never send my own kids to a similar school. I am sure others must look back and remember a different school but I look back and cringe. I was so happy to get off to uni and realise I was right all along that there was more to life than being the ‘best’ at things.

  17. Hi Chantelle!! I came across this post of yours and it got me inspired to write about my own experiences during high school. It’s probably my neglected phase in life, because I always claim that there’s not much good things to remember although I’m not at all bitter! Haha! It’s just that I enjoyed college more but doing the post made me realize that there were actually something to laugh about high school! Haha!

    http://www.somethingyshy.com/2015/07/who-were-you-in-high-school/

  18. Oh Chantelle, you’ve hit the nail on the head. Looking back, I cringe at anything and everything to do with high school – clothes, friendships, boys, hairstyles… And, scarily, my 20 year high school reunion is in a few months. I have made the massive decision to attend, but mainly to show my three girls around the town I grew up in. My family has long since moved away and the last time I was there was for the 10 year reunion (which, ironically, I spent more time talking to the teachers than the students?!). Petrified?? Me?? Not even close!

  19. Oh, memories. I think I was like you in school! I would talk to just about anyone from any group, but I did somehow find myself in the ‘cool’ groups of primary and high school. I feel dirty just saying ‘cool’ group because none of that matters at all to me anymore. In fact, I’m not convinced it meant a lot to me back then. I always felt like I accidentally fell in with the ‘right’ crowd. I remember being so shocked at the end of primary school when people told me they’d envied me being in the ‘cool’ group. I was like, “WHAT? I WAS??”
    I just thought they were my friends (they were and still are). The later years in school were hard. Everyone was stressed out with exams (meaning petty friendship fall outs and sullen faces – especially mine) and I realised I was over it (much like you). When I walked out of there, I was so ready. I loved that it wasn’t about ‘groups’ or ‘labels’ anymore and I could make my own choices. I was free! I know some people were really sad to leave, but I was happy and ready for the next chapter! I sometimes feel sad when some women still think they’re competing for a role in the ‘cool’ group as 30 somethings. Getting out of that mentality was the best thing that ever happened to me! x

  20. I was in the popular group for a while, until one of the girls decided that our group was too big so she promptly split it. One of the girls left in our group cried for the whole afternoon in German class… I didn’t have too much trouble at high school because I was good at sport and also good at school, though I did feel I had to hide that part at times. The girl that split our groups became a huge bully and spread lies about me. I think she felt threatened by me. Or maybe it was just because she was a bitch… Went back for a wedding probably about 8 years after leaving high school, knowing she would be there, and felt anxious and bitter about the thought of seeing her again. Even though I’m an adult now, I still hate her for what she did to me. So I’m careful that my 14 year old daughter is neither a bully or being bullied, because I still remember vividly the pain it caused…

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