Mum Moments

102 thoughts on “Mum Moments”

1. Life with my son is so rich with #realmummoments he was diagnosed with an #autismspectrumdisorder some time ago. Mr T always tells it like he sees it. It’s always good to be honest, a quality I treasure in people! We used to walk to school through a heavy pedestrian traffic area in the Salisbury shopping precinct, North of Adelaide. One sunny morning a gentleman riding a 4 wheel bike on the opposite footpath came to Mr T’s attention. As soon as he noticed the kind man who had an abvious serious health issue Mr T yells, at top note, wow mum look how fat that man is! I nearly crawled in the crack of the pavement! I was sweating with embarrassment. That kind man just waved & smiled with an understanding for young kids . I’ve seen him often since and he now walks that footpath. Amanda

2. The moment Peter did a poonami while we were visiting an aunt at work was a good mum moment. That left me with a baby, clothes and pram to clean up. As I went to the public change room the clothes just went in a plastic bag untouched, to be napisan soaked and washed at home. They came up clean which was pretty amazing. He has never done one that bad when dad is around.
   His latest thing is to say yes to a jar of food, then reject it once it has been opened. He has been willing to eat chocolate biscuits and afew fried shallots of late – not a great diet. He usually will even reject custard – for afew days we could get him to eat something dinner like by starting with custard, but not this week.

3. My pixie does dancing and after one dancing class, she’d been extra good and so when she asked for some blue clay (playdough), I said ok, but only because you’ve been such a good girl. We get to the aisle with the toys and she wants one of those mystery bag Lego thingys, I insist she wants her blue clay but she insists back that, no mummy I want the red bag. Ok I say and off we go to the checkouts, all is well until we walk out of the self serve section and the utter terror of her tantrum erupts! I want my blue clay, don’t want this red bag mummy. I say no you chose that red bag! I asked you two times if you were sure! So it starts, really loud screams of no mummy, blue clay!! blue clay!! Picking her up to make a speedy exit, she bends backwards in my arms and screams till her little cheeks are red, I battle on with bystanders staring as if its some horror movie, you know the one with the possessed child!! I stare ahead, down the travelator, I can see the exit in sight. Just keep going, I say to myself, you’ll be ok I say! Still screaming and lurching violently in my arms, I try and put her in her car seat. Well that’s not working…..at…..all! I begin to panic, this is a tantrum of epic proportions, never has she been this bad. Writhing in her seat and with ear piercing screams for her blue clay, I just stop trying to do her belt up and feel my eyes sting, no no I will not cry, I will stay strong! I will not give in! But the sad truth of the matter is I was having a hard time of it and I couldn’t actually handle this monster of a tanty that day! So I say quietly and close to her tear soaked face, ok ok if you settle down and stop crying, we will get your blue clay, but you have to stop being silly and take a deep breathe and calm down. End result was she stopped sobbing after a while and calmed down. She did say sorry and give me a cuddle. I know I gave in to her, I know I caved but sometimes it’s just not gonna be the day for winning that fight! Sometimes your sanity is worth more than trying to be the perfect parent. She hasn’t had another tantrum in the shops to this day though and if she did, I think I’d let her ride it out and not give in, well I’d hope so anyway. ??

4. I just became a mum a week ago to my preemie son, born at 26w1d gestation. .

   My only real mummy moment was being able to give him his first cuddle on Sunday at 108 hours and 50 minutes old.. and it was only for 30 minutes. ..

   This is not how I anticipated being a mummy.. 3.5 weeks in the hospital before hand with Premature rupture of the membrane.. enduring 2 steroid shots plus 3 weeks if antibiotics which gave me oral thrush. . Plus a 12 hour magnesium sulfate infusion just to give him the best chance of surviving if he came early…

   1 month after arriving in the hospital I got to go home with empty arms… i now have to work out how to spend my time between home and the hospital for the next 3 months…

   • I had a premmie bubs too (although not as early as your treasure!) and coming home that first night was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do! Wishing you good wishes as you enjoy all the “firsts!”

5. We have saved and saved and are finally heading away on a Cruise! We are all SO excited…except for my eldest, who is on the Autism Spectrum, and is very nervous about it. Our youngest, Miss 10, has been seeing a psychologist to help her cope with some of her older sister’s uniqueness and this one particular session, I was sharing with the psychologist the news about the cruise. I was also trying to subtly mention that the older child was causing a bit of stress about it. I mentioned that we had a backup plan if we couldn’t get her there (we weren’t going to let her anxiety stop the rest of us from having fun!). When the psychologist asked what the backup plan, before I could answer Miss 10 pipes up, “Oh we’re going to drug her and carry her on board”! That wasn’t quite the plan I had in mind!!! After I got over my embarrassment, I found it pretty funny!

6. TRYING TO GET MY DAUGHTER TO STOP SUCKING ON THINGS AT NIGHT SO I TOOK AWAY ALL THE THINGS SHE SUCKED ON PREVIOUSLY ONLY TO FIND THAT SHE WENT INTO THE DIRTY LAUNDRY BASKET AND GRABBED OUT A TEA TOWEL AND USED THAT INSTEAD. GROSS. #REALMUMMOMENTS

7. Miss 2 years old just told me, “I picky nose! (meaning, “I picked my nose”), and proceeded to wipe her sticky finger down my arm as she said it. Eww!! ?

8. Finding out that it is crazy hair day at school at 8.15am and only having food dye available to you – Neither of us were impressed, and it doesn’t come off the skin. So what would be my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day started a 9.30am with a work meeting looking like a smurf threw up on me, and school calling me to say he went to sickbay crying because the colur was running down his face from sweating at recess playtime. #realmummoments

9. Finding out that it is crazy hair day at school at 8.15am and only having food dye available to you – Neither of us were impressed, and it doesn’t come off the skin. So what would be my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day started at 9.30am with a work meeting looking like a smurf threw up on me, and school calling me to say he went to sickbay crying because the colour was running down his face from sweating at recess playtime. #realmummoments

   • Mellissa! Oh my gosh, I can’t stop laughing! I am so sorry!

   • OMG – funniest thing ever!!!!! Bet you weren’t feeling like laughing smurf……at all!!!!

   • Driving through gloria jeans drive thru, mis 5, (autistic), was sitting on a puppy training pad, as she was learning no nappies. When greeting our regular barrister, miss 5 says, ‘hi Joe, I’m in the poo seat’! He laughed and she then proceeded to offer him a gnarly booga!

10. Wow I’m blessed to have so many crazy mummy moments! One of ny favourites is the morning before family photos and miss 2 walked out like the picture……look mum I washed myself *face palm*

11. Possibly my most embarrassing “real mum moment” to date was answering my mobile phone and having a job recruiter wanting to do a quick phone interview and discuss the position I was applying for.
    Thinking my kids were totally absorbed in their activities, I said “yes” and quietly snuck away to the other end of the house.
    A few minutes into the interview, my kids realised I was on the phone, of course, and proceeded to harangue me with, “Mum, mum, mum who are you talking to? Can we say hi? Do we know them? Why can’t I talk to them?!?!?!”
    Er, yes, trying to sound professional whilst quashing my kids’ exuberant attempts to talk to the job recruiter was tough! And in the end I didn’t get the job, though I believe that was more to do with the fact that the recruiter didn’t really understand what kind of person the employer was trying to hire rather than my feeble attempts at parenting, oops.

12. My 6 year old son said :
    “I wanna go back to where I was born I wanna go back to 1982 ”
    Me: Myles you weren’t even born then !
    ” Yeh well I still really want to go “.- I think someone’s been watching back to the future with daddy

13. My first baby 8.5 years ago. Between breastfeed & pumping i was like a zombie! I fell asleep on the chair in the loungeroom when the Aus Post delivery man rang the bell…I gently laid our 6 week old finally sleeping bubba in the cot & ran to the door. I was greated by the courier who gave me a nervous smile, practically threw the package at me then bolted from the front door. Thinking he was quite strange I closed the door and caught a glimpse of myself in the hallway mirror…..I had been standing there with my whole top open & my maternity bra undone with my boob out. Poor fella is probably scarred for life lol.

    • Between my two children this has happened several times. My poor postman actually acknowledged it once by saying he had one (a child) the same age and his wife has done the same. Needless to say, you’re not alone. Poor post men and women of Australia.

14. Here are a few of my mum moments with my Miss 3. She loves art as you can see, and proudly demonstrated her skills on our freshly painted walls. Then every single panel of the ikea expedit was beautified with her talent. Here she can be seen dutifully cleaning it off. The bottom middle pic is when she discovered 2 full bottles of cornflour powder and a tub of zinc cream at the change table. Not only was it through the change table, all over the bedroom floor, but all through the bed, up the walls and every crevice possible. Bottom left is the aftermath of said tub of zinc which she is proudly wearing then wiped her hands clean on the wall. All done within 5 minutes while I was prepping tea. I only realised when I could smell talc coming through the airconditiong duct. Silence from a 3 year old is most definitely not a good thing. My little firecracker was sent here to keep me on my toes and make me laugh. She definitely keeps it real

15. Miss 2 walked into my walk in robe this morning and looked around perplexed, saying, “No eggs?!” Was she expecting to find a clutch to chickens roosting in there, laying eggs for her? ?

16. Yesterday’s icky real mum moment was changing Miss 2 after a massive poo blowout (yay teething poo!), then realising I needed to change her leggings as she had leaked on them. Then realising I needed to change my whole outfit as poop juice leaked through into my clothes as I carried her to the bedroom. One of those laugh or cry moments really haha ??

17. My daughter last year was nearly 2. She had this headband that she LOVED, it was her “pretty”. One day she was walking around the house barebum, pretty in her hand. Suddenly we hear her cry out “Pretty?! Where are you?” And shes walking around for her lost pretty. We start to search with her when we see it. HANGING FROM HER BUM CHEEKS as she’s walking around yelling out “Pretty come back! Where are you pretty!??!!!!” I dont think ive ever laughed so hard, i nearly vomited. Somehow she’s sat down on it and its got caught. I wish i had been able to film it, but i couldnt function at all!!! Poor thing was so worried looking for her pretty but mummy & daddy couldnt help!!!!

18. And i cant pick which of these 2 moments made me want to die more.
    Miss 2.5 is still breastfed, and she talks extremely well. Whilst shopping she loves to grab my boobs, and at the top of her lungs exclaims “I love your boobies soooooo much!!! The are so yummy and delicious un my tummy!!” Its mortifying!!!!
    Then Mr 5 started speech therapy this year. One session was finding hidden word cards, one which was under my chair. He picks up said card and exclaims “I found one! UNDER MUMMYS VAGINA!”
    dead. I wanted to die. Thankgod our therapist didnt say a word, i was absolutely horrified and my son stood there grinning like a fool thinking he’d made the funniest joke ever!!!

19. When my daughter was little she was having speech therapy & we were supposed to encourage her to use more words so when she just said drink I prompted with “what do you say ?” She looked at me, held up one finger & said “I only talk once !”. She was such a little thing it took all my control not to laugh 🙂

20. Today my 3.5yo grabbed my head and said ‘can I have chocolate mummy’ and nodded my head for me! Hahaha

21. This would have to be my most ‘real’ parenting moment, no pic as I might not have any friends if I posted! My 3 year old had gastro, I had just gotten him out of the shower, wrapped him in a towel, put him in the lounge room and went to grab the PJ’s. Before I could get back I heard him scream, so ran out to him, poo was spraying everywhere so ran him quickly back to the shower, to clean up. While washing him, again, I remembered my 1 year old was crawling around on the floor, rushed back to the lounge. Too late he was sitting in the poo puddle……….. and eating it!! Game over, kids win!

    • Oh Kelly I feel your pain!!!! You need a holiday! !

22. My 3yr old son is really into ghost and anything spooky atm, we were in our car driving and my son suddenly yelled out “look a ghost! A spooky ghost” much to my horror as I looked over and saw that he was pointing and talking about a lady wearing a white burka ?

23. My 20 month old was perched on my hip while I spoke to a salesman in a camping store. All of a sudden he’s giving me full on eye contact or not looking at me at all. I thought it was weird till I glanced down and saw that my delightful daughter had pulled the zip of my hoodie down and my enormous boobs encased in hot pink bra are on full display.

24. Took four year old to GP for vaccinations. She came out screaming and crying, consoled her and after a while she told me she thought the needles were still in her arms. I explained that the needles were little “pricks” in her arm. Through her tears and all the way home “I don’t like those little pricks mama!”

25. Whilst I was heavily pregnant, my 2 year old pretended to call Nanny to tell her that Daddy took her trampoline away and mummy drinks. I haven’t had an alcoholic drink in 5 years. Haha

26. Mr 12, not known for his spelling abilities was completing a school assessment piece last night. He asked me how to spell ‘stupendous’. I sarcastically answered ” s t u p i d b o y ” which he diligently wrote down, letter for letter. He looked and commented that this was a strange spelling, then suddenly the penny dropped as he realised what he’d written….there were tears but I’m not sure if they were from the laughter or the sheer OMG moment I had!

27. My mum took master 3 to the supermarket… he pulled a jumbo packet of tampons out of my bag and proceeded to not only unwrap them and pkay with them… he happily shared them with fellow shoppers. ?

28. We had just come home from the hospital with our first child, Archer. We were keen to start our lives as a family of three, and in order to do that, I had to get hubby on board with nappy changes etc ? Hubby was completely green…..never had he changed a nappy before. He was totally unaware of the process of nappy changing etiquette – always, always, always cover the boy bits whilst reaching for a wipe; always, always, always ensure the baby has finished before attempting said nappy change. Anyway, first day at home and hubby is all gung-ho. Archer had passed the sticky after-birth poop stage and was up to smoothie consistency, so the pit stop had to be quick. He’d done a partial soilage of his nappy and hubby had him on the change table…bum facing the corner of the room. “Surely he’s finished,” hubby exclaimed anxious to get the first change out of the way. “Give him a bit longer,” I reply, knowing what can happen from past experience. Nope….hubby went in……and at the moment the nappy was removed, a spray of the anal smoothie shot out and hit the corner of the room, narrowly missing hubby, but hitting the wall and drizzling down to the cream coloured carpet. The look of amazement, shock and perhaps awe came across his face. Such a massive explosion from such a little butt. I raced out of the room to grab cleaning supplies – I had a ten-second window with which I had to grab the goods before our carpet was stained forever. I reached the Pro-Hart inspired wall with seconds to spare and hubby fumbled with his ‘end’ if the bargain. The two-man operation was finally complete, and safe to say, after three kids, hubby is now an expert and willing to share his knowledge with other first-time dads ?

29. My husband has taught our two year old to announce loudly “I have ducks in my bum” whenever he farts. Which is frequently, cos you know, boys.

30. 2 weeks ago our 4 yo daughter found the scissors & decided she didn’t like her fringe, & cut it off ?
    Her kinder teacher came up to me 2 days ago, & tells me that they’re wanting to do kinder photos soon, but will happily wait til Lilly’s fringe has grown back ?

31. Recently my husband and I were talking to our sons about where babies come from. Just trying to sound out if they had heard things on the playground. We briefly explained about seeds and eggs. Our 8 year old wondered if you had to have that done at the hospital while our 6 year old screamed at us “I don’t understand. Show me. Show me how the seed gets into the egg. Show me.”

    We did NOT “show him”.

32. My beautiful 6 year old who tried to wear make up like mummy and sometimes prefers to go to the beach dressed as a dragon… because it’s easier than the tantrum.

33. So my son was about 4 when he came out of the toilet one day and announced that there was no toilet roll left. But he said ‘it didn’t matter mum because luckily you had some of those ‘shoe liners’ (pads) in the cupboard so i just used those!! Needless to say that story is going to haunt him at his 21st!!!!

34. I have twin boys and they had been together 24/7 since before birth. When starting school at 5 1/2yrs they were seperated and we weren’t sure how it was going to go. A week or so into kinder my quieter twin came home and said he had been to the principals office. I nearly died.
    “Why were you at the principals office?”
    “Because I kicked a girl”
    “Why did you kick her?”
    “Because I was told to keep my hands to myself ”
    Took all my might to keep a straight face until he left the room.

    When I had composed myself we had a discussion about not using any part of the body to hit anyone. Especially at school

35. Discovering on your latest phone bill and 6 open tabs later that your angelic, green eyed, butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-his-mouth 9 y.o Superhero has inadvertently signed you up to 40 bucks worth of pop up Adult Website subscriptions on their smartphone – which you’ve just charged and checked as it has been flat for at least 2 months..oh my life.
    Thank the Universe for Optus and Coffee Bailey’s!

36. This week I had to get a baby shower gift for a friend who is due her first baby soon. So I told Miss 2 we were going baby shopping. Her reply was, “No Mummy! I no want to go and get a baby now!” Haha

37. We went to our oldest sons engagement party last night. Our 10 year old and I hit the dance floor all night long. He surprised us with his Dane moves, he has really got the groove. Let’s just say that I had a bit too much of the bubbly stuff, and I am feeling my age this morning. To be woken up in our camper trailer from our 14year-old trying to be quiet with his new Lego set – yeah New Lego boxes are not quiet when you are trying to sleep 🙂 but it’s the #realmummoments that make this parenting job fun 🙂

38. When my son was 4 and at kinder. I dropped him off at kinder as per usual routine, and gone to work for the day, my mum picked him up from kinder this day as i was working back and am a single mum. Their conversation started well “How was kinder today, did you have a good day” dylan replies with ” I had a good day we did painting, errrrgh im so tired today” nanna “why are you so tired today dylan” replies ” well mum made me walk all the way down the frankston freeway to get to kinder today, it took me 6 hrs to get there” nanna ” oh that’s a long walk you must be tired “. If he was to walk that distance it would have taken his poor little legs 2-3 days haha, the things they say are so funny.

39. Meeting the neighbour’s the day after we moved into our new house because my 3 year old had gone for a ride out the gate and down the street on his fisher price bus.

40. #therealmumlife

    5min of being home after daycare Olive fell and split her lip open. Her sister is flogging her, and snatching everything. Everyone is basically screaming. Mum is ready for a beer. Winnie is drawing all over the beautiful pictures you are trying to create.

    What do you do….

    Go have a bath as spider man….

    That’s what you do, and invite your psychopathic sister in even through she just threw a fork into your face whilst you where eating tea.

    You are the best kid.

41. It would have to be the time my 4yr old started to sing her favourite song in the middle of a fancy restaurant….. At the top of her voice…….. “Hurry hurry drive the fire f@&k”!

42. My daughter Eva had been playing on our iPad and watching a Barbie show. Unbeknownst to me, it was an adult parody version of Barbie. The next morning, she lay next to me in bed, innocently singing ‘Motherfuc$#ng Barbie’. I turned to look at her, wondering if maybe I was still half asleep and had perhaps misheard. “What’s that song you’re singing, Eva?” I asked. She replied, “It’s the motherfu$%^#g Barbie song, mama. I heard it on the iPad yesterday.” Oh dear. She had no idea that what she was saying was so rude. Mother of the Year, right here.

43. It always amazes me how kids stumble over the simplest words, but can say the wrong ones perfectly… Today I got the run around from a friend who contacted me to catch up. Miss two was excited as she thought she was going to see her best friend. After suggesting three different things we could do, all of which my friend had a negative comment about, she then text messaged to cancel on us as we was on our way to a park where I thought we were going to meet so our kids could play. I looked at my phone and muttered in sheer frustration, “Oh, for f#%k sake, (insert name)!” Only to hear moments later my two-year old parrot say in her sweet little voice, “Oh, for f#%k sake, (insert name)!” Had to quickly say, “No, don’t repeat that! That’s a naughty Mummy word.” Not my proudest Mummy moment. Now I have to hope she doesn’t repeat it when she sees this lady again! ?? #realmummoments

44. Chatting in bed with miss E, 7 and master R, 9. Miss E says she’s not going to have a big bottom like mummy when she’s older. (THANKS!!) She’s going to run everywhere she tells me and be slim . I said oh you must be like forest gump? Master R at just the right moment lets out a little fart so I called him forest trump. Miss E knowing I have bathroom problems proceeds to tell me I must be forest can’t do a dump! Don’t you just love kids!!!

45. My son was giving me a cuddle and lay on my tummy and looked at me and said “your tummy is like a bouncey castle it’s all squishy” I looked horrified and he quickly quipped “but I like bouncey castles they’re so fun” I couldn’t help but laugh in hysterics! #mumlife

46. The latest moment was today was sitting in the car, getting strapped in with the door wide open, and Miss two saying loudly to me so all in the carpark could hear, “I got the poo on me! (Pause) Yuck!”, Joe Dirt style. Guess I’ve said it a few too many times whilst changing her bum haha ?

47. My #realmummoments is one heck of a story. I promise you its worth the read though. It is way too long to put on Instagram so I am putting it here. I hope you enjoy. x

    We were on a Road Trip from the Gold Coast to visit family in Sydney. It was the Christmas school holidays and the traffiic was horrendous. The kids were in the back, each with their favourite toy. My daughter’s was a lifelike doll you know the ones that truly look like a real life little person and it’s name was Dolly. Well we were crawling along in the traffic for hours so we had all of the car windows down and unbeknown to me Dolly goes out the window. When we got to the next town and the traffic started moving more freely, I hear a Police Siren. Looking around I notice it coming up behind me so I pulled over onto the shoulder of the road to allow for the Police car to pass and was quite surprised to see it pull in behind me, lights ablazing. I was sure I hadn’t gone through any red lights and the traffic hadn’t been flowing anywhere near fast enough to have been speeding. The Police Office approached my window and asked me to step out of the vehicle. I nervously asked what the problem was and he said that they had a call from a driver in a car that was traveling behind me who said they witnessed a child being thrown from the car! I quickly looked in the back of the car and was relieved to see my two little possums sitting in there. I said oh my goodness I am sorry they are mistaken as both my kids are still in the backseat of the car. The officer was very serious and made me accompany him to the local Police Station. Once inside he explained to me that it had since come to their attention that it was actually a doll that was thrown from the vehicle. I was so relieved that I actually had a little giggle and then a stern voice told me this was no laughing matter and began to lecture me on being an observant and responsible parent and that I should be aware at all times of what my children were doing in the car and that the ramifications of the incident could have caused the driver behind me to have a heart attack because they thought they nearly ran over a child! I asked my daughter why she threw Dolly out of the car and her reply was….. “Because she was car sick mum. We’ve been in traffic that long it is taking forever to get to Nan and Pop’s.” So here I was receiving the biggest lecture from the Police and here was my daughter getting a lovely tour of the Police Station complete with drinks and cookies!

48. Two weeks ago my almost eight year old daughter was teased all of lunchtime by a group of boys. The same boys who had been taunting her on and off for a couple of weeks. At the end of lunch, she had had enough. She took down four boys. I was called by the teacher and managed to sound concerned by my daughter’s violent outburst while secretly punching the air that she had stuck up for herself. Those boys will NOT be bothering her again. And good luck to them explaining it to their parents… “I was teasing a girl and then she beat me up!”

49. My 3 yr old daughter, from the back seat as we drove to kindergym this morning, pipes up from the back seat, “Heil Hitler.”

    *Choking.*

    To clarify, she’s been watching the Sound of Music a lot recently.

50. Just made lunch for myself and my daughter. Got interrupted by a knock at the door. 5 minutes of chatting, went back to have my sandwich……my four year old ate it #REALMUMMOMENTS

51. #realmummoments. Well at least my daughter ate her yoghurt…..I think. She tells me kindy didn’t have a rubbish bin

52. This morning I could hear my 17 month old daughter waking up (she calls out,progressively getting louder until I respond). I opened her bedroom door and got an immediate whiff of poo. “You’ve done a poo haven’t you?” I said as I opened her blind. She giggled behind me. I turned around to see my daughter,nappy off,poo smeared all over her face,hands,sheets,cot sides and the wall. “Oh my god” I managed to gasp.
    She was very pleased with herself and started clapping. Flecks of poo flicked off as she did this spraying me with a fine film.
    I took her out of the cot and straight into the shower. Then I cleaned the crap out of her room. When I thought It was all over I looked in the mirror. I had poo in my hair!

53. #realmummoments. Well at least my daughter ate her yoghurt…..I think. She tells me kindy didn’t have a rubbish bin

    • Ggrrrrr. Keeps telling me I have already made this comment and deleting my picture

54. It doesn’t get more real than this…catching your baby’s vomit with your face…ewwwwww

55. This morning I spent nearly 2 hours entertaining my irritable little darling and trying to keep her over tiles and towels as I needed to collect a urine sample from her. Of course what does she do the moment I let her move off the towel for a split second: wees all over the carpet before I can get the ridiculously tiny collection bottle under her. Sigh!

56. #realmummoments When My son still plays with his little sister even though there is a 13 year gap between the two , She loves reading to him and telling about her big days when he gets home from work ,Proud Mummy Moments also !

57. Yesterday, my mum moment came after a difficult morning – one of those moments where I start to question my ability as a mother as my three year old son was misbehaving badly.
    I had to put my nine week old daughter on the floor next to me for a moment, and without prompting my son came over, laid down next to her, said he loved her and started gently kissing the top of her head, and was completely calm. I was in awe, and realised that maybe I’m doing a good job after all to raise someone who loves his sister so much!

58. I was on the phone to the bank while my twin boys played in spare bedroom …with permanent markers. As I found them I asked what are you doing in my crossest voice trying not to laugh…One said “We’re running and hiding now”

59. My best #realmummoments was when my eldest son was about 14 months old. He used to put rocks from the garden in his mouth. As I went to get one out of his mouth one day, I could smell poo but he hadn’t pooed. His dad has changed his nappy the night before and unbeknownst to us some nuggets had fallen out! He had picked one up and was eating it!! OMG I almost threw up!

60. Whilst sharing at school a few days ago, my son piped up and told everyone that his mum won tickets at bingo! Now his teachers and his friends know his mum loves bingo! #realmummoments

61. Real

62. A real “Grandmother moment”…… When Jake was about three we were driving home after playgroup pickup and I said,”When we get to my house,would you like some cheese and dry biscuits?”
    Slight moment of silence followed by this from the back seat….”Well,Nan I don’t want wet biscuits .”

63. My real mummy moment was becoming a mum. It was also my birthday, she will forever be the best gift i’ve ever received.

64. I love the moment when you herd kids out of the car and lock it up, hand keys to mechanic/smash repairer/tyre shop person etc, and they unlock it and you realise one of the kids farted in the car right as they got out..phew! Or they play a farting game in middle of shops and ‘blame Mum’ at the top of their lungs, thanks kids! I know your Dad taught you that,

65. When my now almost 18 year old son was a mere 11 months I discovered him naked and in the arms of a neighbour outside my front door! She had found him playing in the gravel on the side of the road (small town so no curb and guttering) in front of her house – three doors down from our home.

    This little fellow had begun walking at the age of 5 months and unbeknownst to me at the time had become an excellent climber! I had left him no more than 5 minutes earlier in an enclosed area just outside the back door (I had even had metal gates made to fit either end of a small cemented area behind the house so that he would be safe :-/) However it appears that he had managed to not only scale a rock garden wall, but then walked down the 38 steps from the house to the road and then along the road to end up in front of this lady’s home!

    I could only think at the time that he was taking himself off to his big brother’s school just down the road as the three of us would walk to school each morning. OMG it was terrifying to think where he could have ended up if he hadn’t have been sidetracked by the gravel. (Mum of the year award right here!! lol)

    Needless to say it is because of this boy that I ended up fencing my yard, lol. Here’s a pic of my naked runaway boy (albeit a little older) and a pic of the rock wall he scaled … still to this day my mind boggles how he did it! And, a pic of some of the path and stairs down to the road, lol.

66. Wow so many! First that comes to mind is my little girl was about 18 mths old and was very sick with a cold. It had been a rough day and it was bed time and I was reading to her just before bed. Ended up dropping the board book on her face and she got such a fright she ended up hyperventilating – winning mum awards right there 😉

67. #realmummoments Peter likes to eat the dry dog food, which is served with a bit of water so our dogs will eat it. To Peter it does not matter if the wet biscuits have been out afew minutes or all day. He may even put them in the water bowl to soak them more. It grosses me out more then dirt or poo. The strange this is that he will put his hands in dirt and food, then get annoyed about having dirty hands – so I then need to wipe them before his puts his hand back in the food.

68. When my now (almost) 16 yo was beginning to talk, he would pronounce things hilariously wrong.
    For example, the word ‘Sock’. He had terrible trouble with his S’s and replaced them with an F!
    My friends thought it was awesome, asking him to say things like “Sock You” (unbeknownst to me), however I didn’t find it hilarious or awesome as he was telling me one day in the supermarket (remember Bi-Lo?) that his sock has come off.

    So here I am walking up and down the aisles trying to find said sock, old biddys glaring at me for teaching my child such foul language as my son repeats as loudly as he can “Muuuum, Fock Off!!!!”

69. When my now 37 year old was 5 or 6 he was going to a friends caravan for the weekend and I packed his clothes in an overnight bag that I had used. He got the sniffles but had no tissues or hanky so he used thentampon that was in the pocket of the bag!

70. This is my crazy 2 year old! He is our 3rd so he believes in his own mind that rules do not apply to him and that he is in charge!
    On this day he thought it was a great idea to paint himself with the black stuff that in the exhaust pipe!

71. #realmummoments

    Well we all have those stories we are saving up for the 18th birthday mine goes like this……. im in the shopping centre doing groceries and my then 2 year old is doing the normal toddler thing ( touching everything) she picked up a box and be gan to open it i glanced over and shouted no purt that down ! There was a judgemental old biddy standing next to us giving me the eye ?so i said again put that back this instant a little louder well this obviously gave my daughter a little shock because she dropped the box looked me in the face ( old lady still judging ) and said oh *sh*t ……… ahh parenting done right, you know the words stupid and shut up are even swears in our house so go figure…

    Needless to say we were shamed and tutted ? out of the shops #dontjudgeme the old lady got a huge shock ……. i blame my husband! ?#butterwouldntmeltinhermouth

72. When my daughter was 2 we were shopping at woolies when in the middle of the baking aisle she starts screaming “eat a cock, I wanna eat a cock!!”. I was absolutely mortified and high tailed it out of there before I got arrested. When we got home little miss ran to the cupboard, pulled out a bag of dried apricots and asked sweetly “I have eat a cock now?”.

73. #realmummoments When visiting my nan who was in her late 80’s at the time my son who was 7 years old asked her if she was one of those virgins. Apparently he meant vegetarians as she only wanted a salad for tea. It gave us all a great laugh especially Nan who had 9 children and she replied. No love I haven’t been one of those for a long time… Hahaha

74. My daughter loves to watch me getting ready and she loves to use my moisturiser. As my hubby works away, I don’t always have someone to watch her while I grab a shower. Look what little miss got into as I was showering – VASELINE! Keep in mind this was also 2 weeks before my wedding

75. I only have it on video but Mr 2 now Mr 4 spread a whole new baby powder around my house while I shaved my legs & washed my hair – silly me its one or the other with a toddler isn’t it?! What made clean up worse was we had to run out for a important appoiment so I left the clean up for when I got home… Except our fat cat fell asleep on the aircon remote & set it to full fan…. It was like a giant dust storm when I got home! (No video of giant dust storm)

76. This is one of the earliest ones. My toddler getting into the babies formula. The expensive stuff #realmummoments

77. On holiday our kids drew us a lovely picture. On our car. With rocks. #realmummoments

78. This is a personal favourite of mine. This happened one week before we were due to move out of our rental. Thanks kids! (Gotta love the paint footprints though!) #realmummoments

79. The kids decided to make breakfast. Cereal, tomato sauce, and honey. Yummo. #realmummoments

80. Our latest “parenting is fun!” moment, only one week ago. One of our little darlings did this to our playroom door. (No kids were harmed during the making of this disaster). #realmummoments

81. Abby insisted on taking some of my chocolate coated liquorice to try this morning. I warned her she might not like the taste, but she still insisted. She took a bite, sucked the chocolate off, then handed it back and said, “It’s poo!”, with a disgusted look on her face. Well, I did warn you, Abs! Hahaha

82. My daughter was 18 months old and had been put down for her nap in her cot, 20 mins later my real e state agent had come over for our 6 monthly inspection. I could hear my daughter singing to herself so went in to settle her, I opened the door ( real e state agent right behind me) to find my dear daughter had gone number 2 and decided to take her nappie off and paint the walls with her number 2. It was every where all over her face, hands,arms,legs,cot and walls. I was shocked and could only stand there with my month wide open for a long time!
    Wish I had a photo of it for her 21st I was so mortified and disgusted I just clean her and everything straight away.
    Thankfully the real e state agent laughed and said you have a messy job ahead of you :/ I was red faced.

83. Miss 2 insisted on taking some of my dark chocolate coated liquorice to try this morning. I warned her she might not like the taste, but she still insisted. She took a bite, sucked the chocolate off, then handed it back and said, “It’s poo!”, with a disgusted look on her face. Well, I did warn you, kiddo! Hahaha ?

84. When my daughter was in kindy they were drawing a picture about what they did on the holidays. When it was time to write a sentence explaining. One of her teachers pulled me aside to mention that apparently we spend alot of time at the adult shop. Embarrassed me had to stumble and think knowing i never took my daughter to such places. After days of thinking i called into the bottleshop one afternoon. I then realised that i told my daughter not to touch anything as this is an adults shop. Finally i realised what she meant. Then explained to her teachers. They had quite the laugh and had even been mentioned in the staff room. Glad i cleared that one up. Although i only visit the bottle shop once a week or fortnight. my daughter made things look quite different.

85. Babysitting my 3year old nephew, he needed a bum change, but I desperately had to use the toilet myself. I came out to find my nephew had removed his nappy and spread the poo that was in it all over the floorboards in the Lou ge room. Being an old house that had settled over time, the floor boards had gaps between them anywhere between 1mm wide and 3mm wide. I had to get a butter knife, wrapped once in paper towel, and scrape the mess out of each crack, it was disgusting!!

86. I was at a prenatal appointment when the receptionist handed me a cup and said to wee in it. My two year exclaimed loudly in front of everyone in the waiting room “you can’t wee in that mum! You’re bum is too big!!”

87. When my daughter Ava was about 2, she must have caught me in the bad habit of whenever dropping something on the floor… I’d say “Oh sh*t!” One day we were both sitting there watching the Cinderella movie, when Cinderella dropped her glass slipper on the floor. Can you guess the words my daughter said? Lol. I can honestly say right then and there I learnt never to say those words when dropping something again… at least not around her. 🙂

88. A few years ago when we were on holidays I left a tub of sudocream on the bed too close to the porta-cot. This was the result. My instinct was to grab my phone and take a picture before beginning the clean up. I’m glad I did. Sudocream is a bitch to get out of clothing. Luckily the place we were staying at had a washing machine

89. #realmummoments
    My first picture with my daughter, the most cherished photo ill ever own of her. The real moment came when she was born in our walk in wardrobe, didn’t make it anywhere near a car never mind a hospital. It was absolutely terrifying but also the most real moment as a mother.

90. My darling daughter was watching tv while I sorted out the winter clothes in her room and she kept coming in and telling me stories. Then she comes in all covered in brown. She says “I’m pretty”? next she says ” lounge pretty”. ? She took me to the lounge room and the middle seat is covered in liquid foundation. And a perfect little hand print on the arm rest. She couldn’t understand why mummy cried. But it did mostly come out with a lot of makeup remover. And she was just trying to make it pretty. ?
    #realmummoments

91. I always hated the silent times, the moments when I realised I hadn’t heard her for a couple of minutes, then the frantic search to see not only where she was, but what she had been up to. This is just one of these moments! “But mummy, Foxy was wet and he wouldn’t stay in the dryer without me! But I couldn’t get the door shut!!!!”

92. poo in the microwave
    hi there I am a mother of two precious boys now ages 3 and 1.when I was brest feeding my thenbaby probably 3minths old.I had to take him to the bedroom because he got so distracted by everything he woukdnt feed.so I had to leave my 2yo in the loungeroom.he was potty training at the time.he came to get me in the bedroom.he wasn’t realy talking much at the time.he just signaled with his hands come.so he leads me to the kitchen.he starts playing with the button on the microwave.I tell him to stop playing with the microwave.then he opens it and thier was poo!he put his poo in the microwave.I think he was trying to hide it.then decided to show me.eww.we got s new microwave after that lol.#realmummoments

93. Oh dear, someone found the black texta!!!

94. Note to self…
    Do not leave Sudocream where your 2 year old can reach it!!

95. Picture this: I’ve been trying REALLY hard to make the budget stretch as far as I can. It’s two days until payday, we have $12 in the bank account and only eggs and a few veggies in the fridge… So I figure Frittata for dinner!! So I get the egg carton and other ingredients from the fridge and put them on the bench. I then turn to the cupboard behind me – to pull out the mixing bowl, baking dish etc. – and I turn back just in time to see Little Miss Three pull the egg carton from the bench…

Comments are closed.