90 thoughts on “In The Uncertainty”

  1. That void of uncertainty is one of the most painful places you can be in. It’s even worse than knowing, I think. Especially for us control freaks.

    All you can do is try and be present to right now, but don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s bloody hard.

    Wishing you peace as you wait out the uncertainty xxx

  2. I know that cry, bingo with the huz sounds great…I’ll join you. Love you Chan X

  3. How brave of you to share your distress. I too send all my best wishes and hopes you will be absolutely fine very soon. Be kind to yourself and take care.

  4. Already told you Chantelle…you are destined for big things. Bump (small) in the road. Carry on young lady. Carry on.

  5. Oh Chantelle how terrifying. I do know how you feel. Last year I discovered a lump behind my ear and tests confirmed it was a rare tumour. At the time I was told it could be malignant and if it wasn’t cancer it would turn into cancer, so it had to be removed. The surgery to remove the tumour was very precise as if it was done incorrectly could paralyse my face permanently. So I had to return to Australia for the surgery. Only after they removed the tumour could they confirm if it was malignant or not. Waiting for that surgery was excruciating. The not knowing was the worst part.
    In the end the surgery was successful (although I lost feeling in part of my face) but the tumour was removed and not yet malignant.

    Take care and be gentle on yourself, I hope you find some answers soon. Xxx

  6. I’m like you, I hate uncertainty but this verse always gives me peace.
    you’ll see that it was all a misunderstanding… Xoxo

  7. Oh Chantelle, sending you such bigs hugs. Tough things to be going through but just take one day at a time and bubble baths are a great place to have a good cry. ?

  8. Although we have never met, I feel like I know you. About a month ago I said to my husband, “I’m worried about Chantelle from Fat Mum Slim. Her feed and stuff hasn’t been normal the last couple of months.” He looked at my with stone dead confusion, who from where, written all over his face.

    As someone who has been travelling the wave of uncertainty the past couple of months, not knowing what the day ahead will hold, will it be good or bad. I wish i could send some words to comfort you. What gets me through is knowing that even though i think hubby has every right to just say this is all too much for me, he stays and loves me more. And my girls (2 and a half and five months), the moment with them that make me smile and laugh and just break my hear with pure joy. I hold onto these.

    Sending you lots of love. If I did know you I’d drop around a bath of healing soup and a cake. S xx

  9. You’re such a beacon of light Chantelle. Your light can’t be easily snuffed out. x I’m praying that the results come through that you don’t have cancer. It’s awful living in the in between of a diagnosis. Cry and let the emotion out and try not to dwell on the negatives or the what ifs. I will be praying for you sweetie. xx

  10. Oh my goodness. I don’t know you either, but I feel like I do, from your writing. I hope things work out for you and it is a happy ending. You sound like a very positive person and your strength will carry you through.

  11. Nope, I refuse to accept it is anything other than a dodgy gallbladder because you are awesome and the universe is going to play nice. NICE, universe! Now go and have lots of chocolate cake while you can justify it as therapy for stress. (PS My levels went CRAZY when my gallbladder was stuffed. No idea what the levels were that were up high, but I remember the docs being concerned. Now go and eat cake.)

  12. Uncertainty is so uncomfortable. I like to read the last page first. I’m pretty sure your last page features you and the hubs playing bingo. Be thinking of you until we know for sure. xxx

  13. Chantelle, I can only imagine how terrified you are feeling right now. You are an incredible, inspiring woman and to think of you as feeling so weak and out of control is devastating but understandable. I hope that everything works out for you and that you continental to share any news with us. Best wishes from here in the U.S.A.! <3

  14. Hi Chantelle, I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts. I had huge complications with my gallbladder and it created some huge red flags on my blood screens. I even turned a lovely shade of bright yellow while I was in hospital waiting for the influmafion to settle before they could go in remove it! I’ve felt much better since! I remember my doctor told me that “a quarter of western women will die without their gallbladder” I nearly died thinking if I had it removed I only had 1:4 chance of surviving the surgery – turns out he meant that when a western woman dies of natural causes 1 in 4 won’t have a gallbladder Haha!

    I really truely hope that after the removal of that pesty little gallbladder you will be feeling better than ever and that your other tests are clear.

    I will be thinking of you and wishing you health and happiness. Xxx

  15. Chantelle I hope your worry for no reason lovely,I am sending love and virtual chocolate and flowers and keeping you in my thoughts for a great outcome,thank you for sharing your health concerns it’s sometimes better when we share Xx?????

  16. Hi Chantelle, I read your blog regularly because I love your work but have never commented on your posts before. But I really felt the need to comment on this one. I think you are so brave for sharing this. I sincerely hope you are ok and get through this period of uncertainty soon. xx

  17. Oh Chantelle, I’d be exactly the same as you, I don’t do uncertainty well at all. Take care of yourself x

  18. Oh Telle you are in my strongest, healthiest, happiest thoughts and prayers. I’m writing this through tears as an over thinker and a motherless mother knowing all of those feelings swirling through your mind right now. Be strong. Stay positive. Face whatever with all your ‘fierce’ xxx

  19. … oh dear.. Chantelle , my heart goes out to you… It’s not nice to be waiting and confused about what is happening to yourself… sending hugs and prayers to you… praying that all is well and the results are good.. xxxxx You are so brave to share this post.. xxxxx

  20. What a blessing you are to share this journey with us and remind us of our mortality. It reminds me to appreciate my life as it is right now because who knows what will happen tomorrow.

    I hope you have all the information you need to know what your future holds super soon xx

  21. What an amazing woman you are to have been able to continue doing what you do while feeling so tired, being low in iron and not knowing it. I take my hat off to you! And pray that you will be okay. I’m sure you will be. Stay positive x

  22. I love your Brave & Strong approach.. rock those R&B songs and keep positive but do be kind to your body.. we only have the one 🙂 Kisses to you sweet x

  23. how eff’d up are our minds sometimes! scary stuff makes us automatically assume the worst .. but that’s just human, I know, I’ve been there and done that the last 6 months or so, it’s scary, it puts bags under your eyes and no amount of words from anyone will take away your concerns however, you are an amazingly strong woman and whatever it is that you face (which I’m sure will be no where near as bad as our crazy brains will let us imagine!) you will conquer! the scary stuff shapes us just as much as the smiley stuff .. and as cliché as it sounds, we don’t know how strong we are until we have to be! sending blessings, stay strong but remember it’s ok to cry too! thank you for sharing this, it’s amazing how many of us have been here but don’t often talk about it! (((hugs))) x

  24. My goodness that’s so much to think and worry about, I do love your attitude and have all the things crossed. I hope my big girl panties don’t get an outing for awhile…. but you are an inspiration. Kia Kaha xxxx

  25. I spent a good deal of my life needing iron infusions, my body just couldn’t absorb or hold the iron from food! I remember the tired, exhausted feeling, and the not knowing is also exhausting. wishing you well.

  26. Hi Chantelle, you can do this with your granny pants on. I Beleive in you. I have severely low iron, lumpy breasts, a dodgy thyroid, coeliac disease and pernicious anaemia ha. Basically my body is trying to kill itself all the time. I lost my sister to cancer. The uncertainty is shit, but working in health and safety I realise that life is shit for a lot of people. Our lives and our bodies are so precarious its a wonder any of us are still alive. Life is uncertain, I’m not saying be brave, more that every day we are alive is a miracle to treasure. So hug your baby girls and your gorgeous husband, love them and cry with them and make something beautiful everyday. You are amazing and strong and have made the whole world a better place through your writing. I once got on a plane to meet that guy in Sydney because you told me to take a chance on love. And I did and he wasn’t worth it but I was. Embrace the uncertainty it is shit but it’s also the world giving you space to treasure every single little thing. Love to you and your family sweet girl. And if it is cancer you will handle it and beat it with the same grace you do everything else. Big hugs

  27. Love… you’ve still got this. You are strong, and brave and courageous and all those things but you don’t have to be all the time. Allow yourself to feel whatever you need to, without beating yourself up about it! I hope your results come back reassuring and you’ve nothing to worry about! Sending love, light and virtual cake xx

  28. Wow! No wonder you’re scared we all would be the same. The not knowing makes you crazy. I hope all is well and you’re in my prayers for the best of news coming your way

  29. Uncertainty and the fear it brings can be a horrible beast that once it has its claws into us can be hard to shake. That pit of the stomach feeling and the wave of it that suddenly rushes up and washes overy you and takes your breath away.But you can do it. I empathise with you as we sit with uncertainty now about our son. One day at a time. Your doctors are thorough and while the uncertainty is crap but let the knowledge that they are looking into everything reasure you. Sending you strength

    • I thought of you yesterday, as I do often, and I couldn’t imagine what your journey is like. The worry, the anxiety about taking him in for procedures. You are brave and strong, even when I’m sure you don’t want to be. 🙁

  30. You are incredibly candid Chantelle – I’m sure this will help lots of people. I’m sure that everything will turn out ok but just to say you don’t need to be brave and strong all the time. I think there is this new culture described as ‘manning up’ which is not always very helpful. Look after yourself – be weak if you need to. Good vibes sending across the waves.

  31. A great piece, sharing some serious concerns but I did have a good chuckle at the Enya reference. Also have suffered on and off with low iron – it is so debilitating! Hope your operation goes well. ?

  32. Thank you for being so open and honest, Chantelle, and giving your readers the opportunity to send positive thoughts and virtual hugs. I’m thinking of you and trusting you will get good news soon that will move you out of the uncertainty.

  33. Your honesty and rawness is so refreshing as always Chantelle! I too am a control freak and find it hard at times to let all the emotion out – but do. It is such a release and so natural. In this time of uncertainly and unknown just flow with it. We are all thinking of you and have your back! Sending big hugs your way xx

  34. So. Many. Tears. Sorry I missed this post. *sniffles loudly*. Side note, some of your best writing though. Beautifully written. xx

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