I took the kids to the beach the other day for a quick dip. It was lovely and warm and it was quite busy.
He underwent some sort of Weight Loss Surgery and then lost all of his weight. When I used to train a lot I would see him at the gym or in the pool. He had lost some weight and was working off the rest. He looked great and so happy.
Now he looks really good, not to mention so healthy.
I thought to myself: I wonder if pre-weight loss he swam like this. When I saw him he had no top on, looked great and didn’t seem to have a care in the world.
See, I feel so crap this year that I don’t know if I will swim this year at all. My pregnancy cossie will still fit, so I can…. but I don’t know. When I really think about it, that’s crazy talk. Should I really miss out on something I love so much just because I am not as thin as I would like to be? Do I really only allow myself to live when I am at a weight which I approve of?
I’m 28 now and I first joined Weight Watchers when I was 14. So I have been dieting and giving myself a really hard time for half my life now. Half of my life I’ve woken up and the first thought has been my weight and how I am not the person I want to be. What a way to live!
I got home and started googling some Weight Loss Surgery places. I know it’s not the easy way out, but it would be a good push in the right direction. My BMI isn’t even high enough to get it, but I thought if I am still in this same place this time next year then I am going to start consulting for it. I don’t want to spend the next part of my life in the same space.
A big part of me knows I won’t need it. I should almost be at goal by then. I won’t give up on myself.
I really do need to start living now, rather than later. Those cossies will be coming out. I doubt Hubby would let the Summer pass me by without a swim, anyway. xx
Kinda scary when you put it like that (half your life at WW)- have you read that book from Becks yet? Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters by Courtney Martin. It was a really good wake up call for me as to projecting my body issues onto a new generation.
For what it’s worth I think you should do what you enjoy, no matter what size you are – live now, if you are always postponing your life, you’ll never get to live it!!
Mikey Robbins is from newcastle (a fair bit older than me though) so I grew up with him around. He ALWAYS swam in the surf, no shirt. Blokes are better at just getting on with it, and I’m sure it did bother him but it never let it come between him and the surf back then!
wow, I am right there with you. More then half my life, I have spent a majority of my waking minutes thinking about how I look, how I don’t like the way I look, how I can hide. You are at a great point in your life (although it may not seem like it). You are in control of your destiny Chantelle, don’t wait until next year. Make the decision to stop dieting and just be healthy!
Jen, a priorfatgirl
Swimming is a wonderful way of working out your whole body so if it makes you happy, you should definitely get out there and go swimming this summer. One thing I love about going to the beach is that we all come in different shapes and sizes. I say go out and treat yourself to a new swimsuit for summer and a beautiful sarong and strut your stuff. You’ll feel wonderful when you get out of the water xx
I agree with Jo, treat yourself to a new swimsuit at the Boxing Day sales and get your hair wet!
You are fine the way you are you are beautiful inside and out and you have a wonderful family who love you.
I have a feeling that your hubby will take you swimming.
MB – I will have to borrow that book or get it from Borders. It sounds like it might be just what I need. You’re so right. I have to realise that it’s not just me anymore… I have to think about Lacey as well. x
Skye – Guys are good like that, aren’t they? I do realise when I am at the beach that no one gives two hoots what everyone is wearing or what they’re bodies look like!
Jen – I read your comment hours ago and what you said has played over and over in my head: Make the decision to stop dieting and just be healthy!
I lost a lot of weight before and I wasn’t on a diet at all. I was just concious of being healthy and making better decisions. That worked for me. I didn’t diet so therefore didn’t have forbidden foods. I never felt like I was missing out. A lightbulb has gone off here. Thank you. xx
Jo – Thank you. I might just have to go shopping. Online, of course!
G – I’m onto it, thank you. x
Anon (Hubby?) – Thank you. I love you. xx
Good on you for deciding to go swimming anyway!
Thanks Penelope. x
Hi Chantelle, I am a long term lurker, and this post particularly struck a cord with me. Have you read “F*** Diets” by Susan Hepburn? It may help…….
Elizabeth Saxe Coburg-Gotha is an evil woman, why do we slave away at work our whole lives for money with her face on