hantelle asked me recently, an interesting question, which really got my mind pondering.
This decision did not come out of the blue.
It was something that had been niggling at my brain for months.
Don’t get me wrong. For most of my teenage and adult life I have been aware of the ever increasing need to “shift some weight”.
But being aware of the need, and actually making the choice to act, were very far apart. Miles and miles apart.
Until one day, over the Christmas break of 2007, it hit me, square between the eyes, that my weight was, quite simply, holding me back. Stifling my potential. Smothering my worth, as a mother, as a lover, as a friend, as a woman. The weight was putting a dark cloud of sadness over my whole life.
How could I let my weight impact my life so dramatically?
How could I continually short change myself and my family?
Weren’t we all worth so much more than that?
All of a sudden, I knew that I was eternally tired of making excuses of why I couldn’t lose weight, and for feeling so utterly restrained because of my weight.
Feeling ashamed and lethargic and miserable about my body had become harder than finally doing something about it.
I liken this to doing the dishes. The thought of doing the dishes is much much worse than the actual doing of the dishes. Once you get stuck into those dishes, it is occasionally boring, but nowhere near as awful as you anticipated. Just get on with it and enjoy the view. Relish in the satisfaction of it being done.
Choosing to lose weight, for me, was the same. The thought of it, and the lack of action, was actually worse, and more debilitating that the shift to actually tackling my weight problem.
And with that, I also realised that time would pass regardless.
I could either look back over a year or be proud to be weighing less and feeling immeasurably better.
Or, I could look back with regret, and wish that the year had been the one in which I lost weight instead of gaining it.
Time will pass regardless.
It is not, sadly, as easy as flicking a switch.
The switch goes on and off all the time. But at least now, finally,
it is ME that controls the switch, rather than my weight controlling me.
What an amazing post, Lucy. Brilliant.
So beautifully written Lucy. I took a step towards flicking my switch yesterday. I realised a life time of diets wasn't working for me. The problem is far more complex. I'm proud I did it and reading this reminds why it's important. Thank you xxx
And as usual, I read your stuff on weight loss and my head translates it to quitting smoking. The fear of doing it- being paralyzed by self loathing but unable to move forward- probably much worse than the actual act of doing it.
Do you know how much of an inspiration you are, Lucy? I don't struggle with my weight, yet your posts still speak to my heart, and make me shift the layers of myself and look deeper. Bless you xo
Lucy although I don't battle with my weight, your words here took me to where you were and the mental juggling that goes on in our brains. Great analogies.
Hear Hear Lori. And hear Hear Lucy!!
great thoughts – I need to take control of my light 'weight' switch too! just the motivation I need 🙂 Naomi.
Love you Lucy xx
Time will pass regardless.
Love it.
Love it.
Love it.
Now I gotta live it.
Thanks Lucy, you are always so inspirational. x
Another fab post Lucy, you inspire me so much!
Great, great post Lucy! xx
I like that you are now in control of the 'switch'. I haven't got to that point yet. I dream of that point. Small steps forward… thanks for your words of wisdom.