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The hardest bit of being a mama

Fat Mum Slim /

This is a sponsored post for Tommee Tippee Miomee.

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There’s something not many people will tell you about having a baby. You’ll hear the horror {and some pleasant} stories of giving birth. People are happy to talk about how much sleep they’re not getting. But the thing nobody told me? Breastfeeding is hard.

When Lacey was born I thought I’d just pop her on and she’d start feeding. Not so easy sunshine. I wrote about my adventures in feeding with Lacey here, if you feel like taking a trip down memory lane.

I’ve had to steal a moment away from everything, curled up on the couch in the quiet to write this post. It’s not easy, but I want to share because it might help or comfort another mama out there. And because I want Luella to know one day that I did my very best, despite the situation.

♥♥♥

Some people are very particular about how they give birth. They know the experience they want to have, go to classes, read books, hire doulas, set up birthing pools in their homes or have a list of the drugs they want to have. I didn’t much care how I gave birth. I preferred that it didn’t hurt too much, but I didn’t have a set plan.

But breastfeeding was another story. For some reason {that I haven’t quite worked out yet} breastfeeding is important to me. I don’t mind how other people feed their babies. I don’t wear judgey-pants. I fed Lacey both formula and breastmilk, and this time I wanted to be as proactive as possible in doing all that I could to feed Luella.

I hired a Lactation Consultant before I gave birth. I assumed this would cost me hundreds of dollars. Not so. It was just $35 dollars and I walked away with a great plan. I have supply issues. I don’t have enough milk to feed my babies. My best case scenario was that I’d exclusively breastfeed, my second best case scenario would be that I’d breastfeed and formula feed as well.

You only have to visit your Mother’s Group to know that you’re not alone {if you have issues too}. I remember sitting there in our first meeting, around 20 women sitting in a big circle with newborns in our arms. At some point we were all feeding our babies. Some were bottle-fed, some breastfed. I remember one mum having a quick let-down and her baby just couldn’t handle the amount of milk she had. I sat across the room with not enough milk at all. Breastfeeding isn’t always a walk in the park {but it isn’t always hard either, I’m sure}.

As soon as Luella was born I ripped off my dress so I could feed her. And I literally ripped it off. I wasn’t expecting to wear it labouring but with a quick labour {1 hour and 9 minutes} there was no time to change. I took it off with such gusto that I ripped my canula from my arm. She fed happily and this made my heart sing. Although I knew that if there were any supply issues they’d pop their head up a little down the track.

Up until day four of life here on earth Luella fed quite happily. I was in contact with my Lactation Consultant, texting her how she was going, her weight, details of wet and dirty nappies, and so forth. On day 4 I was smack bang in the middle of those emotional baby blues, Luella was really unsettled {read: hungry} and I didn’t have enough milk to feed her. My Lactation Consultant said it was time to introduce formula.

Of course these moments always happen at the wrong time, and I sent Hubby off late at night to go and buy a tin. I’m so emotionally attached to feeding my babies that it tugged at my heart. There may have been tears. It’s a tug-of-war of doing what I want and doing what’s best for bub. She took to the bottle so easily {like a pro!} and guzzled the milk.

I’ve never had a baby be milk drunk before, and I dearly wanted to experience that with breastmilk {Can you tell how badly I wanted to breastfeed?} but seeing her so satisfied and ‘drunk’ after that bottle made me happy. Surely I couldn’t deny my baby girl such satisfaction because of something that I wanted to do?

I haven’t given up though. I’ve started medication to boost my supply, tried a supply line {so messy and complicated for me – it’s tubes you tape to your breast so bub can get formula while breastfeeding at the same time}, drunk lots of water, rested, had skin to skin time, expressed and demand fed as well.

I’m at peace with whatever happens from here. I just want to know that I did what I could, for me and for Luella. And I know that whatever happens she’ll be wonderful. As the midwives have told me on our check-ups, “She’s thriving!” and “Girl, you’re doing such a good job!”, and I couldn’t really ask for anything more, could I?

♥♥♥

I just want to thank Tommee Tippee Miomee for working with me during my pregnancy and beyond. Having the right bottles {made to work just like the breast} and the electric pump here at home ready for when baby arrived really helped with feeding. Luella hasn’t had any nipple confusion and the pump is so much easier to use than the one I had with Lacey. I am really grateful. Thank you.

451002-02__31771_zoomToday I’m offering up a beautiful array of Tommee Tippee® Miomee® goodies that I’ve personally selected & packaged up for one lucky person. The selection includes bottles from the Tommee Tippee® Miomee® range including this 2-pack and this 2-pack, milk storage containers and lids, an insulated bottle bag and an electric breast pump. To be in the running, just leave a comment below answering the following question: Where are you at in your parenting journey? Pregnant? Already a mama?

 

 

{boring bits}
Open to Australian residents only
One entry per person
Competition closes October 10th 11:59pm

The winner of this competition is: Alysias87 Congrats! x

  • Cherie

    Chantelle,

    I wish I could squeeze you through the interwebs.

    This was my story with Max, for some reason (of which, I have NO idea!) breastfeeding is working this time; I owe it all to nipple shields, I’m sure. My babies just can’t latch on, & NOBODY told me about nipple shields last time.

    It makes feeding in public messy, but I don’t care – because I relate to the emotion you’ve described attached to breastfeeding.

    This time, I decided to go in with an open mind & not DARE beat myself up if BF’ing didn’t work – & I hope you listen to those fabulous child health nurses o’ yours.

    Max was purely bottle fed from 12’ish weeks onwards. He is smart, he is not a serial killer, he is not developmentally delayed, etc. etc. etc.

    If for any reason my milk dries up with Frankie, I’d still be flipping proud of me – & I hope you can reach your own happy place, because you’re a BEAUTIFUL Mother!

    Biggest love,

    Cherie x

  • Karen Burkett

    this is my story with all 8 of my beautiful bubs even have twins and i breast fed the best i could with them all and will with any more i have, i have tried everything possible to get enough milk but in the end its just not happening for me , my youngest is 5mths on tuesday and has started to refuse the breast this wk it has absolutley devestated me i love my boobie time and the way they snuggle in and caress you with such love but im happy to have the time i have under my belt and look forward to next time 🙂

  • EmmJay82

    Hi Chantelle,

    I’m currently 19.5 weeks pregnant! Reading your story is inspiring to give it a go and not beat yourself up if things don’t go to plan! I’m sure your Luella will love you no matter what you end up feeding her! Keep up the great work!

    Emma xxx

  • Simone Valentine

    I feel for you Chantelle as I too thought breastfeeding would be the most natural, easy walk in the park and sadly it was not. . I am just starting my second trimester with my second child and like you I am determined to try again but I will be ok with it if I can’t ad long as bub is satisfied and healthy. Thanks so much for sharing your journey and Goodluck. X

  • Jamie

    I’m currently breastfeeding 7 week old Baby #4… and my eldest is 4 and a half. I also have a 3 year old and an 18 month old. While breastfeeding has always been quite straightforward for me, my issue is how it takes up so much of my time. Time that I could/should/would be spending with my other “babies”.

    I feel guilty when I read posts about mum’s who have supply or attachment issues and I know I should be grateful that I’ve had such an easy run but the guilt is still there. Just part of being a mother these days I guess.

    I wouldn’t give up breastfeeding for the world, but just wanted to share that even “easy” breastfeeders have their issues…

    Love love xoxo

    • Tammy

      Your doing a fantastic job, I have 3 – 4.5, 2.5 & 6mths so dont know how you are doing it!! Easy to have mummy guilts, but i keep reminding myself the older ones have each other to play with, they have become great friends in the last 6mths.

  • Alison

    I admire you in so many ways….I was blessed enough to be able to breastfeed all of my 3 babies, although it wasn’t without pain, tears and stress. Even if breastfeeding is successful, no one tells you how excruciatingly painful it is at the start. The bleeding nipples, the feeling of hot pins being pushed into your nipples, attachment issues, the cracking…the list goes on, BUT if you are able to persevere through that, and you and your bub are successful, it it the most rewarding experience, even if you only manage to part feed, or feed for a few months, or in my case until their first birthday, when I made the heartbreaking decision to stop feeding, both my youngest boys had teeth and loved to bite! ouch!….. just remember, at the end of the day, breastfeeding your baby doesn’t equate to how much you love your baby. If you’re happy and they are happy, then you’re doing a brilliant job as a mum. xx

  • Tammy

    Breast feeding can be hard to get started, it sounds like you are doing all that you can for your baby and thats what counts. It took around 10 days or so for my milk to come in fully but all the expressing, shields and cremes were worth it to come out the other side breast feeding happily for 13mths with my two oldest. Im 6mths in with my third. Im cherishing the days as they go so fast! Love hearing stories that support mums whatever their situation as it can hard, especially in the beginning and we all deserve support x

  • Georgia

    I love reading everyone’s stories of their personal experience. We weren’t trying for a baby, we had a little surprise, but from day 1 I wanted a natural birth and I was determined to breastfeed. I did a breastfeeding education class as I had no idea what to expect. My son attached straight away and we never had any troubles, I myself had a quick let down, and an over supply of milk. Its fair to say my son is too fond of breastfeeding (now 17 months and no way wanting to give up!). I do agree though that your baby ultimately will decide what theu want to do. I do not judge anyone on the way they feed, I think theres so much scrutiny about both ways and with everything else going on when you become a mother, no one needs that! But at the end of the day, if your baby is happy, uou will be happy!

  • L

    I struggled to BF both of my boys. I would go through the labour side of childbirth 10 times over than BF. I found it so very hard. I tried and tried but my boys never seemed settled and full. My beautiful Mum (who didn’t pass any judgement unlike other family members!) suggested to try formula.
    It took a lot to get my head around doing it, as I was always told BF is best! I tried the formula and I had settled, quiet, milk drunk babies. It was 12 months after my second born, I was talking to a midwife at an appointment for one of my boys and she was asking questions and general conversation and she asked when my periods started back. I said pretty much within a month or two of having each boy. She said that is probably why they went from BF to refusing it. The taste of my milk would have changed with the hormones and that could have possibly turned them off BF. I still to this day ask the what ifs when they are sick.
    But I know I did what was right at the time, I know you can’t please everyone and I wish some people (especially family) would keep their judgement to themselves. It is hard enough without all the extra pressure they put on you.
    I am sure you are doing everything in your power to provide the best for both of your girls. Just do what works for you and her. Know that you did the very best you could.
    My boys are now 8 & 6 and they are both happy healthy normal boys. The formula didn’t do them any harm.

  • Loz

    I’ve never had enough supply… my first daughter would take well over an hour to feed, and never got any faster than that, at 6 months we had to force her to take a bottle for my own sanity! next round I had twins. I was told to feed, feed, feed to keep the supply going, you know the sound a straw makes when you’re trying to get the very dregs out of the bottom? That sound is what I felt! It killed me to feed them, and although I was all for bottle feeding them, {so much quicker and easier with my boys} I felt so bad.. but, no-one had expected me to feed ‘twins’, and by week 5 we’d weaned them to be fully bottle fed. number four, and she just sucked and sucked until she was exhausted {and I was grazed to the heavens} and fell asleep only to wake moments later screaming for more, I didn’t hesitate to start the formula with her… a growing, content, healthy bubba is much better than for your own health as well.
    Best of luck x

  • Rmaddern

    I am weeks away from having my second baby. I made the mistake first time around about not introducing a bottle a day and ended up that I couldn’t have any time away from my little man for 10months untill he self weaned. Because he completely refused a bottle. As a single parent, I found it quite a struggle to not have any me time or be able to go out for extended periods. I am so looking forward to watching my husband being able to give at least one feed a day to our little baby once he/she arrives. To not only give me a break, but to help him bond with the baby.

  • Charlene Brindle

    I’m currently pregnant with twins! Due April 2013.
    I have 3 other children aged 12 girl, 4 boy and 2 girl.
    I have breastfed all three children, all were different experiences.
    My eldest I had mastitis 3 times in 7mths which was horrible. I weaned her at 7mths onto formula.
    My boy was a great feeder and I weaned him at 6mths onto formula.
    My 2yr daughter I had hardly any milk, so she was partly breastfed and formula and weaned her at 3mths onto formula fulltime.
    I’m hoping to breastfeed the twins with the aid of a pump.

    • RedCherry

      As a mother of twins I can say to you that feeding twins is EASY if you 1) always do it in tandem (ie: force them into the same schedule from day #1) and 2) buy a twin feeding pillow. Don’t worry about a pump, it’s easier to feed them.

  • Jessica Woodruff

    I follow you from the US. This post – it brought back painful memories from just 7 months ago. I had my first Jan 22. I had read all the books, prepared, and knew what to do. My son didn’t. He wouldn’t latch, and I couldn’t let down fast enough to satisfy him before he was too frustrated to eat. He damaged my nipple, my blood vessels became constricted and it was painful. I would feed him a bottle (either formula or breast milk), put him to sleep, then pump. I’d be asleep maybe an hour before the entire process started over. I had lactation consultants, chiropractors and the pediatrician all trying to help. I would cry constantly – baby blues and exhaustion. Finally I made a decision – I would pump for 6 weeks, and then I’d be done. It pained me greatly, but I finally figured out, my son needed a happy mama, and I couldn’t be happy worrying so much. I’m nearly in tears now writing this story. I wish I had known how hard it was going to be. And, I wish I didn’t feel so pressured to do everything possible to breast feed. I tried, and I know that next time, if I have the same problems (which I might because of the damage to the blood vessels) I will not allow myself to feel guilty. Hang in there mama, but remember – baby deserves a happy mom.

  • heather

    i attempted to breast feed all 3 of mine. my eldest now 12 gnawed the living daylights out of my nipples from not attaching properly. by time she was 4 days old and community midwife came out she took 1 look at my nipples and informed me she had never seen anything like it! by this stage i had chunks out of my nipples and mastitis. i had go on antibiotics and breast pump etc.. but i just didnt have enough milk. i persevered for 2 weeks before it just got too much and she was screaming for feeds every 90 min or so. my 2nd 1 who will be 11 tom we lasted 6 days and things started heading the same way! i wasnt going to be pushed by the midwives this go round to continue. my 3rd who is now 5 i lasted less then 24 hrs! after bout 7 goes on the boob in less than 3 hrs i buzzed the nurses and demanded a bottle for him! i wanted to feed, but just didnt have the supply and the kids just never att properly. do whatever works for you and makes bubs happy!

  • Heather

    What kind of lactation consultant doesn’t tell you that it’s normal to have a setback at day four when your milk is switching from colostrum to regular milk and the baby finally starts to develop a real appetite? I think this is also why the baby blues hit around then, so all the mum feels like doing is laying in bed and the baby can just lay there and fuss at the breast until the supply comes in over the next day or two? I have never heard of a trained consultant who doesn’t know that’s normal. ?!?

    • I think with my history she countered in that factor and what you’re saying. All we’ve pretty much done these first few weeks is be one-on-one and feed. 🙂

  • anita

    You truly are an inspiration to many of us , I love reading your posts , and this one in particular has hit home to me , I am blessed also to have 2 beautiful girls holly 3.5 Lucy 3 weeks on Sunday , my story I fought to supply enough for holly in the first 3 months and had supplemented her then (I live in Christchurch New Zealand ) we were hit with a major earthquake that changed life but added stress so much with a new born that what supply I had just went I felt like a failed unit and everywhere I looked it was breast is best breast is best ! That made it all so worse , however holly is now a very talented perfect (to us ) wee 3 year old and so I know I did what’s right then, and now with Lucy I was and am determined to try again my supply again is not great and we have been topping her up but I am able to feed more this time and I know under it all I will do what’s best for her and all our sanity as much as I would love to exclusively breast feed unfortunately I was gifted big boobs that just don’t supply milk as some do.

  • Tegan

    I’m 36 weeks pregnant and I’ve gotta say, the idea of breast feeding is causing me more anxiety than anything else. As a baby I didn’t breast feed due to tongue-tie and my older sister has had mastitis with all three of her babies.
    Thank you so much for your candid story. I think we’re all too hard on women who either choose not to breast feed or aren’t successful in their attempts.

    • Congrats on your pregnancy. I think with the feeding if you can get as much support as you can, you can eliminate stress. Wishing you all the best. x

  • susan

    Thankyou for a positive story on breast feeding. I’m just starting my journey and have friends who have found breastfeeding easy, and others who had similar difficulties to you. Either way, I just want a happy healthy baby.

  • Tegan

    I am already a mama and expecting my second in January. I had feeding issues with my first and hoping to overcome them with my second.

    • I had a friend visit yesterday and she was saying she had huge issues the first time and the second time was easy. I hope your ‘journey’ is the same. xx

  • Cat Bensein

    I am 39 weeks pregnant today! Breast-feeding my first was my biggest challenge – like you said, people talk about the other challenges that you face as a new mum – I never expected something as “natural” as breast feeding would be so hard. I am hopeful this time around I will be better mentally prepared for the challenge.

    • I have definitely been better mentally about it all this time. I just want to give it a red hot go, and whatever happens I can know I tried.

      I actually really love breastfeeding. It’s very special and important to me. All the best Cat. I can’t wait to see your little girl. xx

    • Also, I just discovered that we’re entitled to as many visits with a midwife as we like in the first 6 weeks. I have a beautiful midwife that visits every day – just to check in and go through our feeding plan. I wish I had that with Lacey. x

  • Thank you for sharing this beautiful post xx

  • Andie

    I am trying to conceive, and as I imagine most mother to-eventually be, in search of the ‘truth’ about a huge range off issues around before birth, after birth, parenthood in general. I really appreciated your article, the web is littered with ‘3 Steps to Successful Breastfeeding’ articles, it’s good to know those 3 step may not come in order, on time, or in fact at all.

  • Melissa Hartmann

    This is my story.
    Our first son I intended to breastfeed, but I had a baby who was tongue tied. This was rectified, but breastfeeding never happened. He was not interested. I had the supply and a baby who was not interested. I exclusively pumped for 6 weeks before he went on formula when it was becoming too much for me, alot to do with my lack of education. But I knew I did everything to achieve breastfeeding, it just wasn’t for him.

    Second time round moments after our son was born I had a baby latched on feeding. I was terrified, I suddenly felt like a first time mumma because I had apsolutely no idea what I was doing. Those first few weeks were exhausting, lots of cluster feeding, I even paid for a lactation consultant to come to our house just so I felt latching on was correct. He was exclusively breastfed for 10 months as he was not interested in solids of any form. just after his first birthday we found out we had baby number three on the way. I was feeding on demand and I gradually weaned over the first trimester.

    When our third son arrived we had issues. Attachment was not right, but my supply was there so we kept trying. The first 6 weeks was combined breastfeeding and pumping when my nipples were too sore to feed. We got there finally and he was breastfed for nearly 18 months.

    Now, where am I in our feeding journey? Four years on we have our fourth and final baby arriving next year. With the same determination I have had three times over I will do everthing within my power to breastfeed. If I suceed, it will be wonderful, but if i don’t it does not define the kind of mother I am. As I tell firends who have beaten themselves up over unsucessful breastfeeding journeys and feel like they are a bad mother for it. A good mother will feed their baby however they need it. You are the best kind of mother there is because you have chosen what is best for your baby. Your baby won’t remember that you formula or breastfed them, they will know that you love them fiercely. The exact advice I gave myself for my first son.

  • Kym

    Can I ask you what medication they have put you on to increase your milk supply? I too had milk supply issues and I went to my GP in tears begging for something to help boost my supply as I desperately wanted to continue breast feeding my 2nd child as I only breast feed my 1st child for the first 6 weeks as I fell ill and was in hospital and unable to feed bub and once she started the formula she refused the breast :(.
    Anyway my GP told me that there wasn’t anything he could give apart from an anti nausea medication, Maxilon to maybe slightly increase my milk. It didn’t work and reluctantly bub #2 went on to formula. I’m hoping to have a 3rd so would love to know what was prescribed and whether it worked for. Good Luck with the breast feeding. I feel your heart ache. Luella is adorable.

    • Hey Kym. It’s Motillium. I take 9 tablets a day. You can also take a herb Fenugreek with some people have success with too.

      Motillium doesn’t work for everyone, but in the research I’ve done even some adoptive parents have had success with getting a supply.

      I hope that helps. x

      • Kym

        Thanks Chantelle for your reply. I will keep that in mind when I convince hubby on number 3 xxx

  • Deborah M

    With my first baby I tried to breast feed. My baby was unsettled (and hungry). The midwives dismissed the problem and just said keep going. Eventually without support we decided to bottle feed. With my second child I again ran the gauntlet of narrow focused midwives who said I must breast feed. Again my baby was unsettled and hungry. I demanded a milk pump and after 20 minutes showed them a measley 25mls. After that the attitude changed and I finally had the support I should have had with my first and now didn’t need as I was now confident with my decisions.

  • Jess

    I’m four months in with my second baby and am still struggling along with the breastfeeding journey. My first child never attached properly so I pumped for a couple of months then put her on formula as I was so busy expressing that I didn’t have time to enjoy my sweet little girl. My second bub has also struggled – he did manage to attach better than my daughter, but we’ve had lots of issues along the way with him being increasingly fussy and frustrated, and my supply dropping due to him not being able to transfer enough milk. We’ve seen so many specialists, and finally worked out that he has a lip tie and posterior tongue tie which means he can’t attach and feed efficiently. We had those revised last week and am currently in my fourth exhausting week of expressing every feed for him until he is hopefully strong enough to feed from the breast. The plan is to try for 4 more weeks, then put him on formula if it doesn’t work out.

    I look at my first born who is absolutely perfect in every way and know that formula feeding did her no harm at all, but like you, am finding it really hard to let go of my hopes to breastfeed this baby.

    As one wonderful ABA counsellor said to me when I was struggling to breastfeed my daughter – “There is alot more to mothering than how you feed your baby”. I still think about this and know it to be true, whatever happens. Go easy on yourself Chantelle, you are doing a wonderful job 🙂

  • Narelle Rock

    I am a mummy of 4 beautiful kids and currently in the process of considering #5 as the youngest is nearly 5 and I’m missing my newborn fix!

  • Fiona

    Brings a tear to my eye reading this, I struggled BIG time to breast feed, I had mid wives at the hospital hand expressing me every few hours (God bless em) , I went home with a nipple shield & it split my nipple open (to breast tissue), at one week old. I wanted SO badly to BF, I couldn’t explain the overwhelming need to do it & everyone kept telling me to give up. But I expressed & BF till 5m old & it all just got too much & I finally went to formula & it was heartbreaking, but I had to let go & make peace with it. Now he’s happy & healthy & that’s all that really matters in the end (my nipple is nearly healed & he’s 6m 2 wks old!) Good luck, sounds like you’re at peace with whatever happens, just listen to your heart & know you’ve done the best you can.

  • Tara Bell

    I’m a second-time mama to a nearly 6-week old and a 4 year old. Bubby 2 and I are battling breastfeeding issues, using shields to combat nipple sensitivity and doing all we can to rectify supply issues (have you tried lactation biscuits? GOLD) I wish breastfeeding was easier but I didn’t manage first time and I’m determined to be stronger this time! My biggest blessing is a supportive husband and wonderful older daughter helping me every step of the way!

  • colourful64

    its all about the water… the water the water the water drink drink drink

    • Drinking litres every day and loving it. That thirst during breastfeeding is EPIC!

      • Helena

        I might be worth having a thing about a lactation tea… Its natural so it wont affect the baby like medication does and it can really improve your milk production. I have twins that I have breastfed but without the tea Id have no chance 🙁 there are plenty on line .. Or just pour some hot water over aniseed (galactogogue – milk producing properties) let infuse for 10 min and have 3 cuppas a day. Anyway just wanted to throw it out there! Good luck with everything and don’t be hard on yourself, you are doing a wonderful job :))

  • Ann-Marie Cahill

    My baby girl was born only a days after Luella (24 Aug) – I was half expecting to meet you at the hosp. She is our 3rd, with 2 older brothers watching every minute! At the moment, she is still very much in the “you are food / you are not-food” stage; making it hard to balance time spent with the boys. Especially during school holidays. Our 2nd boy was anti-bottle so I am yet to prepare with expressed milk. While I’m lucky to BF, I think it would be lovely to share the bonding/feeding time with the family. There are pros and cons to everything.

  • Peta-Lee B

    I’m a mummy to 3 beautiful girls. 5yrs, 3yrs and 3 weeks old. I feel so blessed to have 3 of a kind, sisters who will hopefully grow up closely together. I agree breastfeeding can be a tough gig. I’ve learnt that each baby is different, and even if you’ve breastfed before, it isnt necessarily a breeze the next time. And oh my goodness, i am quickly remembering how tedious and time consuming using a manual breastpump can be!

  • MichelleP

    Hang on, so was ur lactation consultant part of Tommee Tipper?

  • Lisa Mckenzie

    I hope it works out for you the breastfeeding part,but if it doesn’t you are being the best Mama you know how to be and that’s what matters xx

  • Carley Jeffery

    I am so suprised and saddened that at only day 4, your lactation consultant introduced formula! But at the end of the day, as long as your happy and bub is happy thats all that matters. Good on you for sticking to it. Its not easy, but worth it in the long run.

    • I’ve been thinking over the past week that I would have loved to have seen what would have happened if I’d waited a few more days. But I did what I did.

      Now I have a new LC and midwife who pops by daily and we have a plan – we’re reducing the bottles and increasing my supply. So far we’ve halved the bottles and we’re a week and a bit in.

      I’m not one for regrets, so I did what I did – happy mum/happy baby and I’m working on reducing them now. 🙂

      • Carley Jeffery

        thats great 🙂 good luck with your feeding, i really hope it works out for you both x

    • Guest

      I am happy and not at all surprised that the lactation consultant did exactly what was right for both Chantelle and her baby. LCs aren’t there to be militant about breastfeeding only.

    • Lauren

      Yes I was surprised by this too! Day 4 is when my milk only just came in so I spent 24 hours a day for days with bubs attached to my breasts which helped bring on the supply.
      But I guess the LC was armed with more details of the situation than we have to help this situation.

    • I spoke to my new Lactation Consultant about this and she agrees with you, it’s something she wouldn’t have told me to do but we can’t change the past. I wish that I had her from the start.

      BUT we’ve dropped some bottles over the weekend and are breastfeeding much more than formula now, so I’m on a bit of a high. We’re getting there. 🙂

  • Bec R

    Oh my you sound like my twin! I have a boy 4 and a daughter 1. With my first I was so suprised that breast feeding didn’t ‘just work’ for me. After all I’d watched my mum as a little girl effortlessly feed my younger brothers (and even had her remind me of this while I was having troubles feeding my children!!). None of my friends had any feeding issues either. I assumed as a woman you just did it! I felt like such a failure when I was in hospital and the midwives told me my son had lost more weight than they like and I would have to supplement him with formula. For the first few months that followed I ran myself to the ground. “Feed him as long as he wants” they would say. But at what point does feeding stop and I’m just being used as a dummy? It so hard to know how much your baby is getting when you breastfeed. The feeding process took an hour and a half all up, I’d feed him then offer a bottle, then pump, then if I was lucky I’d get a whole hour and a halfs sleep before the process started again! He remained so tiny and didn’t seem to thrive until I put him solidly on formula at three months old.
    The second time around I was adament to try, and I did have more luck and fed exclusively for three months but again I got to a point where I just wasn’t making enough and so decided that rather than trying to make something work that for me, just doesn’t seem to, I would move to formula.
    There is so much pressure when you have a baby to breastfeed, but I found there was very little support for Mums who would love to breastfeed their children but struggle. Its easy to feel down and blame yourself, I know I did.
    A friend once told me “when he goes to school no one will point at him and say ‘oh look…there goes that formula fed kid!!'” Haha which helped me get some perspective

  • Lauren – Gold Coast Mum

    It certainly isn’t easy is it! I have a 3yo and a 20month-old and TWINS due soon.
    I struggled for 6 weeks with my first but persevered and she breastfed til 15 months when I was preggas with her brother.
    Then when he was born, I thought I’d be a pro – having done it already – but for the first week or so it was a matter of he and I both re-learning it together (and me spending what felt like 24/7 with him on the boob building my supply) – and he went on to breastfeed til 16 months also – but self-weaned from his last feed as now I’m pregnant with TWINS (due in a few weeks).
    So reeaalllly hoping I can breastfeed my twins – have hired the twin pillow and have been researching the logistics of breastfeeding two babies at once on YouTube!
    And will juggle pumping as well so hubby can help out by feeding them expressed breastmilk on occasion. 🙂

  • Anupriya

    On my second visit to the doc for my son, when the doc asked about his feedings i was in tears when i told her that i supplement with formula as well. Like a kid i asked her if i was a bad momma. Thankfully my doc was sweet enough to take me off the guilt trip and said the main goal is to keep the baby full.
    My tip is a big fat diet. Eat happily and eat a lot!! Forget about your weight issues till the baby starts solids. You brought a baby into this world, a miracle in itself. Everything else should be easier.

  • Lisa Bright

    I’m a mama with a daughter and about to start trying for another. My breastfeeding journey was not easy and I was frankly surprised at how non-instinctual and painful the whole process was! New babies are hard enough without all the pressure we put on ourselves, and allow others to put on us too. I think all mamas so an amazing job.

  • Naomi @ HappeningsOfUs

    Your breastfeeding journey sounds a lot like mine, my son was born big, lost weight and had to be supplemented with the SNS feeder to start to gain. I thought the second time around would have been easier to deal with as I could only feed my daughter for 6 weeks and then had to supplement and eventually move to formula completely. However, with my son, when the LC told me I needed to supplement I still burst into tears. My son is now 7 months old and we are only using the SNS feeding system once a day as a top up and he is putting on weight and is always happy. It gets easier, and you should be proud of the amazing work you have done. Breastfeeding can be hard, but I think its the standards we set up for ourselves that are harder. Thinking of you and bubs. You are doing amazing!!! Whether you bottle feed or breastfeed – you are still awesome!

  • Anna Dent

    I haven’t read all of the comments but I found Fenugreek to be very
    successful for me. I was always very paniky about having enough milk
    and ended up being a jersey cow (could have fed every baby in the
    street). Good luck with it all. Love your blog

  • Stephanie Veljanovska

    I have a 2 Year old and my Second on the Way. My First Born was in NICU so breastfeeding was really difficult and he Refused to Breastfeed so I expressed for 4 months. It can be such a Difficult time I felt like I failed.

  • nicolemorris

    im currently pregnant and due in november. only about 7 weeks to go 🙂 cant wait to meet my bubba

  • Lisa

    I am a mum of an 18 month old and 12 weeks pregnant with our second. I too had a hard time to begin with, a latching issue, but was very persistent and we finally got the hang of it after about 2 weeks ( and lots of pain!) and I managed to feed my little man until 13 months. I am hoping for an easier time with it 2nd time round!

  • Tracey McGreevy

    Third time mummy to three boys – 4yo, 2yo and my youngest is 10months. And what a crazy ride it is ! I’m still BF’ing my baby and for the first time with any of the boys I’m giving him one formula bottle a day as he (a) needs a top up as his weight gain is slow and (b) I am thankful for the fact that someone/something else is able to satisfy him. It’s the loveliest, most special time when BF’ing your baby and I’m blessed that BF’ing has been easy for us each time but I also find that after 5.5yrs of either being pregnant or BF’ing back to back, I’m exhausted and craving a bit of space and to have my body to myself again. There’s no one method or scenario to fit everyone and so long as it’s working for you and your own little family then we’re all doing a pretty darn good job.

  • analise

    wow, that tugged at the heart strings and made my eyes well. As a mum of nearly 3yr old and number 2 on the way im petrified of the exact same experience. with supply issues which saw me resort to formula with #1 at only 2 weeks old it killed me. Im doing everything i possibly can to prepare myself for #2, with such a strong desire to breastfeed long term this time im making sure i have everything available to me to try succeed.
    Its bloody hard and although there is nothing wrong with my 3yr old formula fed baby when breast feeding doesnt come naturally as a mother you feel like you have failed your child and deprived them of that absolute best start to life.

  • Kristina

    My daughter (also named Lacey lol) will be a month old on Monday 🙂 I exclusively express my breast milk (by choice) so this would be an awesome prize to win 🙂

  • Cara McKee

    Chantelle, how hard for you. Well done for trying so hard. Breastfeeding is a great thing to do for your baby, but baby needs a happy Mummy too. You have tried harder than I ever had to, and this must have been so hard to share. Thank you.

  • KT

    I am already a mum to two beautiful girls and am very early pregnant with my third. I dearly wanted to breast feed and have been lucky enough to do so with both kidlets. I had cravings to breast feed (weird but true) before I conceived no 3 so I’m hoping all will be satisfying with this one. Well done on your journey and fingers crossed you get the satisfaction you’re craving. X

  • Tammy

    I am 27 weeks pregnant with my first baby. I can’t wait to meet my little man!!
    I hope I can breast feed but I am beginning to understand it is not as easy as it looks for everyone.

  • SashaD

    I am about to be a first time mum (due in 2wks). Like you I am keen to breastfeed and have read all the books, been to the classes, spoken to others etc. But I do have bottles and formula on standby. I guess with the advertising and the maternity hospitals they push for “breast is best” which is why I think we put so much pressure on ourselves to get it right straight away. I am going to give it a go but not put too much pressure on myself if I can’t do it. I have waited so long for this baby that it comes first. Whatever satisfies it hunger.

  • Erin @ Eat Play Bond

    You are so damn right no one tells you how hard it is! I had trouble establishing bf with both my children, my problem was attachment not supply. I, like you wanted to breastfeed very much and after months of working at it fed my daughter until 12 months and my son now 9 months is still happily breastfeeding. In my experience it can be very hard to find support that is neither rushing you to put baby on formula or telling you to persevere with breastfeeding no matter what. While still in hospital my LC advised that I express to allow cracking to heal which in fact made it much worse which was when I had no choice to put my son on formula. It was shocking how easily he took to a bottle and in the little ready made sterilised packs it was just so easy. In the midst of baby blues it was devastating. Fortunately once we were home I used a combo of expressing and breastfeeding and within a week we were exclusively breastfeeding again. I don’t wish to enter your excellent giveaway, I just wanted to share my experience. Great frank post that I could have done with when I was doubting myself and my choices. Thank you!

  • Kirsty Lyon

    I struggled with feeding my daughter. ..a week in I was dreading each time she cried as it hurt and I was in tears the constant time she was nursing…I pumped full time for 6 weeks and as my supply was dwindling severely I was told to put her back on the breast and if it still wasn’t successful, go to formula and she had the best start to life…this was coming from a paeditritcian. She went back to breastfeeding with no issue and we discovered it was on oversupply issue and she couldn’t get around the nipple correctly until she was old…my son was completely different he was breastfeed the entire time and no issues but he was 4kg born.
    It doesn’t matter how they get food as long as they get it. You do what works best for you x

  • Amber

    Thank you for this post. My Little Man is just over a week old and I feel like no l e talked about how hard breastfeeding would be, physically and emotionally. I recently told my self I was not allowed to read another on the Internet about BF but I’m glad I read this. Thanks for the reminder that we are not alone!! Good luck to you!!

  • Saira Naomi

    I always thought if I got into this situation, I would try and suss out getting donor breast milk. I think with all the research I’ve read into formula, I would feel I’d let myself down if I used it. Then again, am I just setting myself up for disappointment? My sister has a newborn and only exclusively BFs and she makes more than enough – sometimes a LOT more. But he’s a big feeder so that helps.

  • Dawn

    I just wanted to let you know that the same thing happened to me with my first child.With my second child I was able to breast feed successfully. We all beat ourselves up entirely too much as moms, don’t beat yourself up over this. You are doing what works best for you and your baby. Best luck going forward.

  • jasmine

    i am a mum of a 6 year old and a 2 week old baby boy. i am breast feeding but dont have enough milk and have to top up with formula i am trying lactation cookies and next week want to try the tablets its my hope to be able to feed without formula and be able to express, i am like you i think breast feeding is very important and it makes me feel less of a woman to not be able to do it properly but i wont give up ! 🙂

  • Clare Evans

    Chantelle, it has taken me until baby #4 to have an easy run at breastfeeding. I am a firm believer that any boobie is good boobie! Be kind to yourself x

  • Lucy Powell

    Bless your heart Chantelle! I had the very same issues with my son 27 years ago. I cried my heart out too, but in the end he was as happy as if we would have breastfed all along. If I let myself thing about it, it still makes me sad so I don’t. He is happy, healthy and very well adjusted to adult life and all it’s ups and downs. You seem like a very special mommy and I know your daughter will have only the very best experiences and a wonderful life with you all. In the grand skeem of things ….don’t worry to much Mom, you’re doing great!

  • Emma

    Oh how this rings bells with me. I have a 6 month old that is fully formula fed and has been since the beginning. I think unless you have personally struggled on this journey along side having that deep desire from within you to do something that should be so natural yet you can’t, it is very hard to understand how difficult it is.

    I had a breast reduction a few years ago so knew it was a possibility that I would struggle add to that flat nipples and it is almost a recipe for disaster. I saw a lactation consultation while pregnant in the hope of getting some good advice, her parting words to me ‘well a miracle might happen and you might be able to breastfeed’ I think I resigned myself to failure at that moment. Due to attachment issues with the nipple I was expressing for almost an hour in hospital and getting 5ml….add that to the baby blues and you have a very sad mamma! I just had the words of that stupid lactation consultant in the back of my mind. Eventually I was resigned to formula and so many ‘health professionals’ kind of brushed me off because of the two above issues.
    I still remember going to my check up with my ob at the 8 week mark and just started balling my eyes out because of the guilt I was feeling literally every minute of the day. His words to me? ‘I have been practicing for 40 years and 40 years ago it was the done thing to formula feed. Think of the 40 year old you know – do they have a second head? Can they function as person? Are they in good health’.Generally you would only do it if you were poor. Do not beat yourself up, you were battling against the odds and made the decision to feed your baby. Guilt is a totally wasted emotion. Enjoy this special time and your beautiful baby’. I can tell you hearing those words were worth his consultation fees 😉
    I still feel guilty and to be honest probably always will, but it is less now than those very raw first few weeks. Every time someone asks me ‘do you breastfed’ that guilt returns 10 fold. I really wish people would have more tact that asking new mothers that question (someone asked me in the shopping centre lift today if I was breastfeeding…ummm that is none of your business total stranger, thank you). By asking this question all people are doing are invading the privacy of those that are breastfeeding and invading the privacy + making the mother feel like total shit if she isn’t.
    The bottle line is 6 months on I have a beautiful, happy, healthy, settled baby that has not been sick (phew!) and is thriving. That damn guilt is still there, esp when I look at others bf or I get asked that darn question – but I am getting better at dealing with it.
    Anyway, this is a really, really long response (sorry!), but I just wanted to say ‘I get it’. You are so lucky that you can breastfeed at all and a bit of top up never hurt anyway. In the words of my ob, enjoy this special time and your beautiful baby.
    xx

  • I cried when my daughter had her first bottle of formula too. It feels like such a major turning point. In the end though it worked out great doing breast & bottle together. I found the TT bottles awesome too.

  • Daneyl Green

    I have two kids, my youngest is 2 in December, and I was lucky enought to breastfeed both of them till 18 months. My first stopped gaining weight at 4 months so I introduced formula and both breast and formula fed till 18 months, then he had toddler formula till he was 2.
    I just don’t get why there’s so much judgement around formula. Isn’t the fact that the mother a feeding her baby milk the most important thing, who cares if it came out of a boob or a tin? Yes, breastfeeding is hard. And painful. But a hungry newborn hurts more.
    Your feeding your gorgeous girl. You are doing to right thing

  • Michelle

    I hope you’re tying domperidone. It was the miracle drug for me. I only had supply issues when I went back to work and had to pump but man that is an awful feeling. Not to feel like you are enough for your baby. I tried all of the tricks and non of them worked. Until domperidone. Since I’m in the US, I had to order it from New Zealand and in the two weeks it took to get here, I ended up giving my son some formula. Some breast milk is better than no breast milk! Good job, mama. You’re doing your best.

  • gemstars79

    Hello, I feel your pain! I have a little girl born on the 8/8/2013 so a little before you. I have had the opposite problem, sounds crazy i know! i have over supply and my little one has reflux bad, green mucusy poohs and stopped breathing while feeding due to me having too much milk. We are still working out how to right this for her as she screams and cries in pain. This is my 3rd breast fed baby, first was a dream, 2nd one had a tongue tie that wasn’t corrected until 3 months which was soooo painful to feed and this little one, well we have had so many dramas! Breastfeeding is certainly a hard job, I agree!

  • Fiona Parry-Jones

    This is a great article thanks for sharing. Being a first time mum this year I really struggled breast feeding Miles, he just wouldn’t take to it and to be honest I was not enjoying the experience. I felt horrible, I cried every day until after a month I decided to try a bottle and then the light bulb came on for me. The pressure was off and Miles put on weight. I had a lot of judgement from sister in law to maternal nurse to the point i became a bit depressed. I felt like a bad mother, but that soon changed when I saw how happy my son was and how happy i was too. My husband also got to have a go at feeding during night times and that is what was important to our family at the time.
    It’s so nice to here your story. I never had the huge urge to breastfeed like you and I take my hat to you for giving it such determination. I think every mother deserves a medal no matter what they choose. 🙂

  • Debbie Huxstep

    Hi Chantelle, I was lucky enough to be the winner of your last Tommee Tippee competition and what a godsend and life saver it has been for my biggest baby girl who became a first time mumma 26 August. Her beautiful boy was 9lb 8.5 ozs (big boy) and unfortunately had to spend a few days in the special care nursery. She badly wanted to breastfeed, tried and tried and all that happened was that baby and she were stressed to the max and she wasn’t enjoying motherhood at all. She decided to express (using the pump in my package) and is managing to feed him breastmilk via bottle. As much as she wanted to breastfeed him and even though she was producing enough milk it just wasn’t working until she made the decision to bottle feed him her milk…result settled baby, happy mother and after all isn’t that the most important thing. And to top it all off Dad is able to feed and get to do some bonding time with his son…to my way of thinking the best of both worlds.

  • Kristy McRee

    I have 7 year old twins, whom i attempted to breastfeed, but literally had no milk whatsoever…my new bub was going to be totally different. I was going to have an awesome natural birth, and breastfeed him exclusively…cue to the day he was born and it all went downhill…emergency csection, terrible csection due to epidural falling out, and feeling every little thing they did once bub was out…the 1st day he latched like a champion, but i got very sick that night, so they took him to the nursery and gave him some formula (with my ok of course)…day 3 and i just knew he wasn’t getting enough milk from me, the nurses told me he was fine…it came time for discharge when they decided to test his sugars coz he was a bit jittery…they were low, so we spent another night in hospital, supplement feeding and heel pricks every 3 hours…his sugars were perfect everytime he had formula, but terrible when he had breastmilk…after 3 good readings, we got sent home, and i tried so hard to breastfeed, but got very sick when i got home, so we decided to start bottle feeding him…and you know what, it was the best decision i have ever made for all 3 of my babies. Little mr 4 months, is an extremely content, healthy bubba, and my twins are healthy, extremely smart, and happy…it’s all a mother could ask for really 🙂

  • Abby Lee

    I am mum to three gorgeous girls, the youngest is 8 months. I have been fortunate to be able to feed them all but it was not an easy journey.

  • Rachel K

    After miscarriages, years of trying to fall pregnant and experiencing every kind of emotional
    turmoil I am still trying! I will never give up on my quest to become a mother – maybe winning this would start a positive changing baby cycle!

  • Samantha Hayden

    I know how you feel! My first child I breastfeed from day one without any problems up until he was 6 months old. My second child screamed the place down from day one. Feeding was a nightmare, i was sore and he was suckling 24/7. Take him off the breast and he would scream! Midwives were telling me I was giving him food, although I was convinced i wasn’t. Two weeks later, hubby had had enough. He went out and bought formula, I tried expressing, what came out was a mixture of blood and water, and I cried. Son was given 8floz which he downed in minutes. An hour later he had more! It was the first night any of us got any sleep at all, yet when I told my midwife, she made me feel totally like a bad mother, telling me I hadn’t given it time, eventhough I had shown her what I had expressed. Clearly I couldn’t give him what he needed, once on formula he was a different child. We all want what is best for our babies, you are doing an excellent job, don’t feel as though you have let her down whatever happens, she will thrive regardless and you will be a happier parent as well. Hugs xx

  • Vicki @ Knocked Up and Abroad

    Just popping over from #FYBF! I totally agree. Breastfeeding is a learning experience that requires determination and patience. Something you rarely are aware of until you have to do it. Whilst I never had any supply issues (in fact the opposite which can be just as problematic) I had to see a lactose consultant for the first 3 weeks of my first babies life as he had attachment issues and for many long nights I had to hand express and feed him via syringe until finally we got it together. It was an overwhelming experience. I ended up feeding him happily on the breast for 18 months. In fact he would never accept the bottle but with baby no. 2 I am making sure he knows what a botte is so that sometimes I can have a break. My husband also enjoys the connection time. I think it’s all about whatever works best for you and your family. Hats off to your for your dedication, it’s admirable!

  • Don’t stress too much about the comments – people are going to judge no matter what. I just had to put my 14 month old on supplemental feeds and I’m still getting bits of snark about formula and how toddlers don’t need it. Now if I can just get her to take a damn bottle, instead of having to syringe it in, I’d be happy and able to wean.

    Parenting journey: Three children. My eldest is seven, my son is 4.5 and my youngest is 14 months. It’s good fun, in a chaotic kind of way.

  • Oh hun I was as desperate as you were with all my three babes – and I successfully starved them all – I wrote about it on Justb because this side of the feeding story needs to be told. If you’ve only had great supply then you really can’t comment on what it’s like to not have enough. http://justbaustralia.com.au/be-happy/not-all-boobs-have-a-good-vibe-8978/

  • Skye

    Thanks for this story, it is very similar to my own and now being pregnant with my 3rd bub due in October, I thought I could try to breastfeed this time. With first bub we battled through the drugs, pumping, supply lines, additional health nurse support and in the end, we moved onto the bottle with much emotion involved. I think Nikki’s comments below are so right – you really can’t make a judgement about these things, particularly if you haven’t had the experience of low supply. To find out you have just about starved your newborn child for the first few weeks of their life, just to be able to say you breastfeed, is the worst feeling and one that I couldn’t face with bub number 2. I recently attended an ABA session focussing on supply and it brought it all back up again for me. Even now, I’m in tears after reading this post and can’t necessarily tell you why. I would like to think I will have the mental strength to try to breastfeed again this time round, but I truly don’t think I’ll know until bubs is in the world and see how we’re all feeling.
    While I am an advocate of breastfeeding, breast is not always best. Especially when it affects mental health of mum and physical health of bub.

  • Rhiannon

    Mumma of two. Three and a half year old BF till 9months, self weaned, and my 14month old is still feeding. It’s hard work, there is no doubt. If I were to win I have a beautiful friend who I would love to gift this prize too x

    • Rhiannon

      Also, I wanted to say thank you for sharing your story, i can hear how emotional it is for you and can totally relate. We can only look back and know we have done our best so well done x

  • marypreston

    I’m a Mother of two & the best advice I ever received was to just do what works for you. Once I accepted that both bub & I were so much happier.

    marypres(AT)gmail(DOT)com

  • Leanne

    Thank you for sharing your story. I too was not told how hard BF could be – it was just expected that it would magically happen. And it was something that I really wanted to succeed at. With my son, I had no experience of my milk “coming in”, never did I feel “full”. Lactation cookies & Motilium did very little. From the start we comp fed and I expressed after every feed. I felt like all my time was spent on the couch feeding or expressing, or at the sink sterilising bottles, but I was adamant that my baby would get as much BM as I could possibly provide. I am currently pregnant with twins, who will be here before the year is out. Like you, I am trying to be proactive – am going to express colostrum before the bubs arrive & get in contact with a LC experienced in twin feeding but I can see this pack would be very helpful regardless of how my twins receive their nourishment.

  • I’m currently 17 weeks pregnant with my first. I feel much the same as you do about breastfeeding.. it’s a dream of mine and I really hope that we can make it happen! But if not, that’s okay too.

  • Kylie Carson

    Currently pregnant with bub No.4 after a 9 year gap, same plan as most mum’s hoping to BF but will use formula if I need too.

  • ardentwhispers

    I have a 12 year old and we’re thinking of having number 2!

  • I live in USA so count me out of the drawing, but I wanted to comment to what you are going through. I just had my second baby and I too struggle with my supply. This time around I feel a little more prepared and I am actively working on keeping my supply up everyday. A few tips my midwife and fellow nursing moms have given me that have helped so far are (1) eating, eating, and eating – I try my best to eat a small meal after my baby nurses and have snacks readily available like nuts, hummus with fresh veggies, etc. Oatmeal is known to help make milk so I eat that once a day. When I am particularly stressed I will have a dark beer with my dinner. This helps me relax, which allows a let-down and the yeast in the beer help make milk. (2) fenugreek, a natural herb that will also help build up your supply. A few days after my milk came in I felt a dip in supply and took one of these and was fully loaded for the rest of the day. (3) lactation cookies, I saw your post on biscuits but you could also make cookies, and who doesn’t need an excuse to eat cookies? ;o) Before my baby was born I froze a batch so I can bake them when I need a little help. Here is the recipe I use: http://www.drmomma.org/2010/08/lactation-cookies-recipe-increasing.html Good luck and don’t give up! You can do this!! <3

  • I’d rather post as guest

    Hi. I was one of those lucky people that had no problem breastfeeding for the first nine months. But even though the actual process was very easy for me, mentally I found it very difficult. I have no idea why, but it FELT like such a mammoth effort which it in fact wasn’t in retrospect. Weird. Maybe it was a hormonal thing? I don’t know why, but once I stopped breastfeeding (bub was just too active and hungry and impatient and not getting what he needed anymore) it was like a fog lifted.

    What I love about you and your blog is that I feel I can express this without getting shot down with “oh what are you complaining about if you’re saying it was easy” comments. I feel that you truly understand and support that easy and difficult are different things for different people. I’m sure you’re doing an amazing job however you feed Luella and your girls a very lucky to have such a loving and dedicated mum 🙂

    • Oh gosh, yes! I’m HAPPY for those that find it easy… and supportive of those that don’t.

      This time I’m finding it to be a mammoth effort too – maybe because I have Lacey to tend to and as I sit down to feed for 45 minutes every couple of hours I am trying to entertain Lacey as well as notice all the things that need doing around the house.

      Thank you for your kind words. x

  • natnicholls

    I had so much trouble breast feeding. Had a terrible labour and the nurses were so rude in the hospital I felt completely over whelmed. Had no idea breast feeding was going to be so hard. I tried so hard but had to give up after 3 months making myself sick. Had terrible guilt. Hope that I can do it next time round

  • Dana

    I am a mum to a 4 year old and I am also newly pregnant. Can’t wait!

  • Johanna Zolg

    Had my baby girl 8 weeks ago. Love being a mum. Breast feeding is easy for me. I have over supply! Mostly have so much milk during the night that I express what she doesn’t want. I seem to be low in supply by the end of the day so I give her what I expressed. She slept the first time through last night (10-6), yeah 🙂 Woke up with 2 very fully boobs

  • JenW

    My son is 9 months old. We had a terrible time breastfeeding in the beginning. I swear he nearly tore my nipple off. You are right, breastfeeding can be very hard, even for a second time Mum as I also have an older daughter who was breastfed. However, all ended well and I am only just now introducing formula as I’m preparing to head back to work. But oh dear, this turned out to be stressful, 5 different formula’s were tried, 5 different bottles and several different sippee cups. I am now so happy to report my darling son is having 1 bottle of formula a day (Goats milk surprisingly, but expensive 🙁 ) and drinking from a, here it comes……. Tommee Tippee Miomee! What a savior. I would love some more bottles! As I only have the one so far. My daughter drank from a ‘Closer to Nature’ and I have called Tommee Tippee several times regarding their products. Always helpful, love this brand.

  • Tara Lucas

    You’re so right BF is hard! And emotional! But so worth it if you get a chance to do it. I’m a Mumma to two boys one 4yrs whom I fed for 27 months and my second who is 12wks and I’m BF at the moment. Good luck with your journey and hopefully it works in your favour x

  • Jessi Edwards

    I am pregnant and hoping that this time around i can feed for alot longer, my milk didnt come through the first time as i was induced and the dr told me this played a role in it. My lactation consultant told me that i had to pump for an hr each side after everytime i fed. I was already drained as a new mum then to have to turn around and spend 1/2 of my day pumping.

  • Suds

    I am a new mum to a gorgeous 4 month old and I had initially a tough time with breastfeeding with sore cracked nipples as my milk took what seemed forever to arrive! I think it was day 4-5 when my milk came in and while in hospital and at home we had to supplement with formula milk and I did go out and get a Miomee Tommee tippee to use, but now thank God bubs is just breastfed and is back on track with her weight. We had a little bump in the road at 6weeks when she was diagnosed with GORD and pneumonia, but now she’s on Losec and so far so good. I still express milk for bubs and freeze the milk for emergencies when I need to go out.

  • Heidi

    I can really put myself in your shoes with this story. I didn’t care how my little man was brought into this world as long as we were both happy and healthy. What I did care about was to be able to breast feed my baby and I also had a lot of struggles and a lot of great support from my family and my lactation consultant. I am really fortunate that I managed to exclusively breast feed and my little guy is 5 months tomorrow.
    The next step is to return to work this month and maintain breast feeding. Wish me luck!

  • Thea Louise Porter

    I am 33wks and 4 days with a Gorgeous little boy. Unfortunately this pregnancy hasnt been the best, our little one isnt gaining much weight and his left kidney isnt functioning properly. So where praying that in the next couple of weeks he puts on some weight before he enters this world 🙂

  • Raechal Stoops

    My parenting journey started 20 years ago when my son was born.He was such an angel my daughter’s followed quickly after him. They are 18 and 16. The first daughter was textbook perfect, the second a colicky nightmare and I swore she was my last. I remarried when she was 13 and had my second son who has been a breeze. I stopped breastfeeding him at almost a year after a breast cancer scare and am now 2 weeks in with son number 3. He’s my most affectionate by far with lots of frequent daytime feeds and cuddles. Lucky me he sleeps 6-8 hours overnight. So currently im a parent to adult, teenage, toddler and newborn children. And what a journey its been!

  • Jeskar Rose

    5 months post-partum, and ready for another!

  • Crystal

    I am 33weeks and 1 day pregnant with my first child- a healthy boy! I had a very slim chance of becoming pregnant due to scarring on my fallopian tubes and having to take the contraceptive pill continuously as I was very prone to ginormous ovarian cysts (my first at 16 was 10x9x17cm with almost a litre of fluid inside of it!).
    I had just mentioned to Mum that I would consider checking my fertility as I didn’t want to miss my window for saving eggs etc. Which sounds a little crazy as I’m only 26 now, but I have had endless trouble with my baby makers!
    To my surprise, I found myself pregnant, despite not even trying and being on the pill. My chances of conceiving naturally were around the 12% mark without contraceptives! We had to wait a while before getting excited by our surprise as I had a high risk of ectopic and miscarriage.
    Now our miracle boy is only weeks away from meeting us, and I cant wait to bond with him via breast feeding, but also giving him the opportunity to bond with Dad at feeding time with a bottle and a quality breast pump. I’m trusting my instincts and intuition as well as taking in the facts and will see what bub prefers before making any decisions. After all, he will call most of the shots for the first few months at least! <3

  • B

    I’m due in three weeks!
    I’m really hoping I can breast feed.
    Such an exciting time at the moment – this baby could come any day now!
    Exciting, and scary.
    Wishing everyone the best of luck with their families and breast or bottle feeding.
    B x

  • Bronwyn Kelly

    Hi Chantelle, I read this post with 100% sympathy. I did it all, I had a lactation consultant {who said my baby had perfect latch!}, I saw a chiro, expressed for 30 minutes after a feed, I ate lactation cookies, demand fed the baby, I went on medication {both natural and prescription}, and I drank water, so much water, but nothing would increase my low supply. I had my first bub 16 months ago, and like you I had no birth plans but naturally assumed I would be able to feed my baby with no problem. Wrong! On day 4 my midwife told me I needed to top up with formula, and I was devastated {how could my body do this to me!} Those first few months were tiring for me, not so much because of sleep deprivation, but because of the energy I exhausted trying to increase my supply. My advice to you is, do what you can, but if it’s not enough to feed Luella, that’s ok, both of you will be fine, and know that there is at least one other mama out there who understands and shares your frustrations + guilt 🙂

  • So glad you have now found the help you were looking for Chantelle! Breastfeeding is something I am very passionate about also. I was fortunate to have an easy time feeding my son for 15 months and am expecting our second baby in about 6 weeks and am hopeful to have a positive experience again. I also found the Tommee Tipee bottles great when I had to be away from my son.

  • Kerri

    I’m pregnant with my son – 26 weeks. I have a 5 year old daughter who I breastfeeding for 10 months with a nipple sheild as I had flat nipples. Hoping to do without this time 🙂

  • Rhiannon

    My parenting journey, well I am now 18 weeks pregnant. My journey so far has been difficult. The father of the baby has decided that he doesn’t want to be apart of the baby’s life. I have been terribly sick and am coming out of the other end of the sickness stage so i am really trying to enjoy this time and start getting organised. I have started to purchase the essentials which have been so exciting. I can not wait until my little miracle arrives, as i have had fertility issues and never thought this would happen. So that’s my journey so far, looking forward to enjoying the next few months and the arrival of my little bub.

  • Jessica De Feudis

    I have a three month old bay boy called Heath, looking at going back to work soon unfortunately. So would be good to keep breastmilk for bubba when at work.

  • Sam Greenwald

    awsome

  • Teena

    Competition Entry
    I am currently 32 weeks pregnant in hospital with my third child on bed rest until baby comes due to having my cervix removed after being diagnosed with aggressive cervical cancer in 2008 several weeks after I had my daughter – she is now 5. I’m only alive due to her. I also have a two year old boy and was in hopsital 8 weeks before he was born premie. I have failed at breastfeeding twice and this time for my last child I am really going to work hard at pushing through the problems I’ve previously faced with feeding and would love to win the array of Tommee Tippee goodies to help me with my journey and determination to make this work and enjoy the beautiful bond that comes with breastfeeding that I long for.

  • Rosalie Bernacki
  • Randall Barnett

    We are currently trying to conceive our first angel. It’s a very exciting and special time in any couples life journey.

  • Jill

    We are trying again to start our family after a loss. My family and friends swear by Tommee Tippee for all their feeding needs. Please spoil us.

  • carolinemargaret

    We are trying to conceive baby number one. I have lost three, two to miscarriage and one to an ectopic earlier this year. I figure if I keep positive and have some baby things the universe will get the idea soon enough and bless our hearts and home 🙂

  • Ricci Trower

    I have a 6 month old and have returned to work a month ago. It’s been tough expressing twice a day at work, organising her things for child care, my things for work and the household. To make life more challenging, the entire household have come down with a cold/virus. Still wouldn’t trade my life with anyone!

  • Nicole Trustnoone

    i have been a mum for 19 years but i am still learning with every child i have children rangeing from 19 down to 6 weeks old so i am always learning new things with each child î have as thins change a lot so im in a never ending journey of this thing called parenthood…hehehe

  • Debbie O’Donnell

    I had alot of trouble breast feeding my baby girl was not getting enough. She would just latch on and I would nearly hit the roof, had I had an electric breast pump things might have been a little bit more easier.

  • Kirsten W

    I’m at the stage where I realise that breastfeeding isn’t the be all and end all to me being a good mother. Formula is not evil and whether I breastfeed or not does not define me as a mother or the mother I will be. I’m at the stage where I realise there are another 18 or so years I will be looking after my child that more important than making a miserable first 6 months!

  • Chloe B

    Currently a mumma to a beautiful little 3 year old girl !! and 8 weeks away from meeting our second princess after a tough and grueling TTC journey, can’t wait to once again experience the amazing bond that comes with breastfeeding, cannot wait !!

  • Rachel

    I’m still in a state of shock at being pregnant again at 40!! I have a 6 year old and a 4 year old and thought I was done, even so far as I had asked for a referral to have my tubes tied and them whammo baby no3!!! As a result I had given away all our baby stuff so I now have to start all over, yikes!!! I’m definitely looking forward to breastfeeding again, precious precious moments!!!

  • Alysias87

    I’m currently 22 weeks pregnant with my first! She’s due in February 2014, My husband and I were trying for 2 years and fell pregnant last november unfortunately we had a missed miscarriage in January and was told we needed ivf, well lucky for us 1 week before we were set to start treatment we found out we were expecting! It has been a tough journey but we are so excited and can’t wait to meet our miracle lil girl!!! We’ve had several hurdles including me losing my job due to hypermesis in the first trimester and not being able to find work 🙁 but we are soldiering on and feel so blessed that we finally have a ill one on the way 🙂

  • Warren

    No me but my sister is eight months pregnant and I know she could use the pack. I have two boys 6 and 12 yrs

  • Kelly Ryan

    Mama to a 5 month old girl and returning to work reluctantly next month so a breast pump would be a god send!

  • Lee

    My wife is pregnant (17 weeks) and im freaking out!

  • Leanne Conroy

    I’m pregnant for the first time and am loving being pregnant

  • Marlene Tham

    I’ve just had my 2nd child who is now 6 months. The experience of having a child before was invaluable with dealing with the troubles of breastfeeding. The hardest bit now, is keeping healthy, not over tired and eat well as you are chasing a 3.5 year old as well as a 6 month old so that your breast milk supply stays enough.

  • nuria harris

    I’m a mama to a cheeky 2 year old little girl and to a smiley 6 month old (today!!) . He’s never had a bottle and I would love for him to start with tommee Tipee 🙂

  • Kylie Bowers Weinz

    I have a beautiful 6 week old baby and I’m in the process of trying to increase my milk supply having a fantastic electric breast pump would be awesome and would beat my hand expressing!

  • Laura Jilka

    On my way to my first,
    Worrying about baby’s thirst.
    I hope he/she will suck okay,
    I love my growing tummy more each day!

  • Erin

    I am the lucky mum of 3. My georgous son Woke and vomited hourly since he was born and still dosent sleep very well and was diagnosed as lactose intolerant recently. He had been investigated multiple times since birth to no avail. Due to this i havent been able to go back to work yet. Now I need to slowly get him used to the bottle so I can at some stage hopefully get back to work. I am having to express, give him a dose of lacteeze and then feed. He refuses to take any of another brand of bottle I have and we have tried cups endlessly but he loves breastfeeding. My friends think that these bottles are most similar to the natural feel of a breast and that he may actually feed from them. He will not be able to transition to cows milk at all so I would love to get him using these bottles. If he would take a bottle I could also premake some lactose free breast milk to take when we go out so I don’t have to do the double feed. It would be so beneficial to me.

  • Amie Falls

    My son is currently 6months old. He is my first! I can’t imagine my life without him. He started solids not long ago and loves cheese. He isn’t taking to the bottle just yet, but we’ll get there.

  • Amy {The Misadventurous Maker}

    You’re awesome. Toughest gig for sure!!! I had no idea before my first bub that breastfeeding was anything more than a choice. You either wanted to do it or didn’t want to do it. Well, I was in for one heck of a shock!!!! I have (officially diagnosed) low supply. My first baby was starving. I too was told to top up in hospital and I was hysterical. I thought that meant he’d never breastfeed etc etc. Once we got home we had a fab LC come out and with lots and LOTS of work, feeding, pumping, medication I boosted my supply as much as possible. Unfortunately I still didn’t have enough milk for him to gain weight without being topped up. But I still breastfed him for 17 months. My second bub wasn’t as long and starving and I had the addition of some excellent herbs. I again didn’t have quite enough milk so had to top him up a little bit. Most days it was just my expressed milk and other days it was formula. But when I introduced solids at 5 months, I could stop topping him up. Many people judged me for this combination feeding – I got told, “why don’t you stop breastfeeding and just bottlefeed, you’re making life difficult”. But I felt better giving them 70-90% breastmilk and topping them up. Others probably think topping them up was a cop out. I can assure you it wasn’t. I hated it (extra work!!!). My babies were weighed weekly and were not thriving (for a long time, not just the first week or two) and I had to accept that. Third baby is here and is getting stronger and bigger now. She also needs to be topped up but not too much and I think she’ll be happy to drop them as soon as she starts solids….which is only weeks away-eeek!!! Thank goodness for a decent breast pump and sterilser!!! All of that pumping in the first few months made all the difference. I also think being a bit more experienced and confident helped – I didn’t take the health nurses percentiles and weight gain per day recommendations as strictly as I did first time around.

    Whatever happens Telle, you rock. And man, your babies are darn cute!!!xoxoxo

    • Wow. I’m only just getting a chance to read through the comments properly and I can’t believe how similar our ‘journeys’ are.

      I get the same, “Why don’t you just give up breastfeeding?” But I love it, and Luella loves it and it’s good for her. We’ve come so far since I wrote this post. Some days she only has one bottle where she was having one at every feed. All the hard work paid off.

      I can’t believe your bub is about to have solids, or has she started already now? Eeek.

      Thanks for sharing your story. So glad to know that we’re are so similar. x

  • caroline

    I am Mum to a 2 year old little boy who keeps me really busy but I’d love a little girl so we are about to try for our second one soon.

  • Karly

    A mum of one (so far)

@Fatmumslim