I don’t much care for birds. I’m frightened of them. A lot.
Yesterday I was sitting immersed in work, as I do every day. Hubby had taken Lacey to the shops to give me a break, as he sometimes does. I love the silence of working alone. I heard something that sounded remarkably like a bird land in our sink.
So I ran, sighting a magpie in our sink as I passed by, down the spiral staircase like a scared little school girl and into my room. I closed the door behind me. I sat on the bed, anxious as I could possibly be.
I had no phone. No computer. No Twitter to ask advice. No Husband to come and save the day. No toddler to ask a million questions and keep my mind off the dilemma. I was completely freaking out. And of course, I had a sudden urge to use the bathroom.
I sat on my bed listening to the bird upstairs move around. I imagined him raiding our cupboards, helping himself to our fridge and creating chaos of the bookshelf. I heard the bird make his way downstairs.
Too anxious to sit still in a closed room, I went out our backdoor {which thankfully is out of our bedroom – thank goodness for weird layouts} and up to the post office. “Is Amanda here?” I asked the man behind the counter nervously. Amanda appeared from the back of the store. “Can I please use your phone? There’s a magpie in my house and I’m scared of birds.”
Without questions {but with a chuckle} Amanda handed me her phone and I called Hubby, “There is a magpie in our house!”
“What?” Hubby laughed.
“There is a magpie in our house! I need you to come home and get it out.”
“I need to get some chicken and salads first.”
“Forget about the food and get home and get the bird out.”
I handed the phone back to Amanda, thanked her and took my embarrassed-self back home. I stood in the back yard and peered up the lounge room. I could see the magpie strolling around amongst our things. I retreated to the safety of my bedroom and waited.
Remembering we have a phone in our bedroom {genius!} I called Hubby again to remind him of the urgency in which I needed him home. After what seemed like an eternity, he arrived home.
“You know you could have just gone in and opened up the door?” Hubby suggest with a wry smile on his face.
“Oh, and have him come all up in my face and attack me!?”
I waited in the backyard, holding Lacey, while Hubby walked inside, opened the door and asked the magpie to leave. Which he did, after letting Hubby take some photos.
And that, my friends, was a day I’d rather forget*.
* but I’ll always have this blog post to remind me. Oh and Hubby and Amanda to make fun of me about it for the rest of the year too.
I hear ya!,something similar happened to me and ended up with a pigeon in my kitchen,it was the middle of the day and hubby worked to far away to get there quick,so I called the next most fearless person I knew- my mum!
She came round and got rid of the bird with out any fuss!
You have a spiral stair case? How pretty! I always wanted one of those…. Never lived in a two story house though.
I like birds from a distance. Not in my sink.
Oh yuck … I would be scared too! Magpies always seem a bit manky to me. Sorry all you bird lovers out there.
Oh gosh I hate birds too….I couldn't imagine anything more terrifying!! Having a bird in the house is bad enough, but a magpie – ARGH!!!
I hear you!! I have never had a magpie in my house ( I taught my dog to chase them away!) but have had numerous birds. I have been known to cover my head with a magazine (?) and run out of the room. Years ago I would get my boys to catch the bird and put it outside and they were always happy to help their scared mum!. I hav also rung my husband and told him to come home NOW and rescue me! I am getting braver though and now try to open as many doors as possible before waiting outside for the bird to exit!
I can't even begin to tell you how much I hate big birds. I love little birds and even the occasional parrot but if that was me I would have had a mental melt down and been found quivering in a fetal position right where I had stood.
You did good, getting out of the area and obtaing help. Thank god your husband was able to bird whisper so well.
Completely with you on this one hun! I am so scared of birds!! And as spring is on its way I'm starting to dread going for my daily walk in case there's swooping magpies about – they are evil! xx
Birds in the house are not good and I think I would have freaked out too. S chased a possum off the other day that was trying to enter the house through the back door – which like you leads into our bedroom (weird layout too)..Made me a bit wary of what I will do once the boys and I have moved over to join in and I have to deal with one on my own!
Argh my worst nightmare! Magpies are the worst xx
i have had a fear of magpies ever since one decided to attack me on my walk to the school bus stop one day. he bit me on the head and my cheek. i thought he was going to peck me alive. i would have done the same as you. your not alone. we have many that live in our area. to see me get in the car some mornings avoiding them while they pick bugs out of my lawn is a sight like no other. hoping today is bird free for you 🙂
I'm with ya on the bird hating! I love summer, and therefore should love spring as the lead-up to summer, but the fact that magpies SWOOP in spring makes it dead to me. eeeeeeek
Once attacked by several magpies in Sydneys' Botanic Gardens, while on roller-skates (back in the 70's when I was a child), I am deathly afraid of all birds. I can not picnic…I can not sun-bathe, I can not stroll and dare I not ride anything with wheels in a park! Should one ever fly in to my home…I will learn quite swiftly to run in mid air while sreaming for the nearest hidey hole! In other words…I totally get it. x
So I take it you don't like the movie The Birds by Alfred Hitchcock? 😉
LOL, I hate birds too! I would have done the same thing…You've given me a good laugh for the day though =D
I'm a bird lover, but any bird that makes you want to wear an ice cream bucket on your head or you've heard they pluck eyes from small children. Well Not so much.
I would have rang hubby too!
I HATE birds! I felt your pain reading this 🙁
That's hilarious Chantelle, seriously funny. I do share your dislike of the feathered friends also, though I'd probably have tried to shoo him out myself… all the while with a laundry basket over my head, in case he tried to peck my eyes out. At the end of the day, that's what scares me most about birds. Maybe they're urban legends/myths, but birds pecking peoples eyes out is something that has always worried me. Having being attacked physically by various birds over the years only adds to my overall discomfort. My Mr3 is frightened of birds also, though I've always been careful not to show my fear of them around him. Maybe he just 'knows' something. I'm glad you got through your ordeal unscathed and hopefully it won't happen again anytime soon xo
I am freaking terrified of magpies and birds in general. But especially magpies. Something about those beadie eyes. I would have hid as well.
I had a similar thing happen last week- one of the kids left the back door open. No big deal- it was a sunny lazy 'home' day. I shut it right after putting them down for their naps, and went to have a shower. There- perched up high on the shower screen was a pigeon. Just like that. In MY BATHROOM!! I called hubs who was in a meeting.. I called my mum who laughed and said have a shower anyway- he won't tell anyone what he sees! (Because it's so funny right!!??? NO!!) Eventually I found a neighbour was home and he came and just scooped it up like it was no biggy and let him go outside. Stephen King eat your heart out.
Nawwww you poor thing! I adore magpies, I think they are so sweet – 3 babies ones ventured into our house when I was a kid and I was so thrilled and wanted to keep them hehe. But I can imagine if it were something I am scared of (ie a big spider in my kitchen), I would have called hubby too!