Messing with the mister’s head

I believe that there’s one great perk to being married, you know when you look past that bit where you’ve found the love of you life, creating beautiful kids, and that everlasting love, and that one perk is this: Having someone to mess with.

I’m talking about the stupid games that kinda really belong in school, but are somehow acceptable because you’re married and he knows everything about you, so can’t possibly think any less of you {I mean there’s a good chance he knows you fart, right?}. Can he?

We play the most stupid games. Insider joke type material. Our car has seat heaters, which would be great here if the weather was cold {which there were a few days this Winter, and I was grateful on those days for toasty buttocks} but for the most part it’s pretty humid here and the last thing you want is your bum all warmed up. But I love to secretly switch on his heater, wait for it to crank up and then BINGO he realises that he’s cooking. SNIPER SEAT HEATER.

Oh my god. I just realised how lame I am. Seriously lame. Oh well, I’m committed now. I’m going to finish writing this post.

And because I’m now paddling in the depths of the lame pool, here’s another: Hubby is not a hand holder, but I love to grab hold and see how long he’ll last in public. Sometimes he’ll say, “OK, just to the light pole.” Win! Funniest thing I ever saw was a couple doing their morning run, HOLDING HANDS. Who does that?

There was also the couple the other week who spent the whole time behind me arguing, “You ran too fast!” “You ran too slow!” “You promised me you’d keep a pace that I could run with.” I’m not a runner, but at that very moment I was considering holding the hands of any male runner passing by and begging them to take me with them.

Let’s talk about The Great Minder-Messer of 2014.

I read on BuzzFeed earlier this week about Autocorrect Pranks. It’s a thing. Basically you go into the phone settings and change words. So when Hubby would type in one word, it would autocorrect to another.

Hubby always calls me babe, and sometimes mate. I hate mate, because we’re lovers not friends from footy. So I went into is settings and each time he would type in babe, it would autocorrect to matey.

Yep. Lame.

Screen Shot 2014-11-04 at 10.26.32 am

And then when he got home, I changed a few more. When he’d type in ‘when’ it would autocorrect to, ‘Oh when the saints go marching in…’. But that dude never seems to write the word when… and the waiting game was painful. I planned to slowly build up the list until he couldn’t take it anymore.

But I cracked. I thought I was so ridiculously hilarious, that I couldn’t stop laughing at myself {YES, I think we’ve established I’m SO VERY LAME!} and I fessed up.

It could have been so good.

And the good thing is, even though my pathetic lameness was reaching such ridiculous levels… Hubby is married to me, so he’s STUCK WITH IT FOREVER. Long live the lame lady!

Now for the next lame trick.

Do you play games with your mister/missus?

48 thoughts on “Messing with the mister’s head”

  3. Oh my… the Autocorrect messing… I laughed until I cried. 😀 My hubby never sends a text to anyone though! 🙁 Now I wonder if I can get into my sons phone…

  4. My hubby is not a texter. He will send me k to confirm he’s read it/he’s good but if it requires more than that then my phone rings. *lol* Yep, that’s right, he can’t even type ok. I’m sure he does it to mess with me.

  7. Mr Smaggle and I try to out cute each other. It’s SUPER lame but I get up before him and go to bed before him so if either one of us is in bed alone we’ll try to ‘cute’ the other into coming and snuggling us in bed. I’ll be all ‘Sigh! I WISH I had someone who loved me, who’d snuggle me all the time and never let me GO!’ or I’ll sing a song like ‘All I want is SOMEBODY to snuggle MOI!!!!’ in a stupid accent. We also do lame weather reports in the morning that go like this ‘DER NER NER DER NER NER NER NER NER DER NER NER DER NERN NEEEEER NEEEER! Now it’s time for the weather with Smashy McFuckFace. It’s going to be 22 degrees today and she recommends that you wear a cardigan AND take your big coat because the office is cold and she’s sick of you complaining about it.’

  8. I order the take away under “giant panda” for gim to pick uop on way home from work. He hates it. I think it’s hilarious!

  9. That was GOLD! Thank you for the giggle, I too paddle in the lame pool. The auto correct trick is going to be awesome, as my hubby is a serial texter. Now… Which words to tamper with ? Bwahahahahaha ….

  10. Haha, this cracked me up – I do the seat heater sniper and the hand holding too (my partner isn’t a hand holder either – sometimes just to get one up on me he will hold my wrist instead like I’m a naughty child that needs to be led). I didn’t know about the auto-correct!! Will have to investigate. I am like you though and I usually ruin my own pranks by finding them too funny and giggling to myself… ah well.

  11. I once left my phone at the shops, got home and realized so went back to look for it worried it might be stolen. At the time I had a second work phone hubby could call me on. Found missing phone no problem, but pranked hubby by sending text messages to him from the “stolen” phone saying “we found a phone. Meet us at the corner of x and y in an hour with $100”. He was calling me on my other phone in a total fit wondering what to do and turning into man of action. I could barely hold it together, but God it was funny.

  12. this is too funny! i am on to that trick pronto! my hubby and I would get a ‘lame’ kick out of those too, you gotta laugh!!

  13. I totally did the seat warmer thing. Only it was middle of the summer and the seat in the drivers side gets on the uncomfortable side of hot on the high setting. So when he started squirming I couldn’t hold it in. It still makes me laugh. Totally feel justified after reading this post and the comments. =D And I didn’t know about the auto correct. Can’t wait to try that one!

  16. I do the seat heaters too – but because he thinks when they start heating up that it feels like he’s is peeing himself. I just like to see him do the double check to make sure there hasn’t been an “accident”!

  17. Ok – I so want to enter the lame pool too – but need to know how to change the auto correct words in his phone o,O

  18. Hahahahahaha love it! Omg my world has opened up- I didn’t even know you could change auto-correct settings. That.is.da.bomb. And also, I am clearly living under a rock for not knowing such things. Am totes cranking bad boy out on hubby!

  19. The kids had to ask what I was laughing at as I was shaking with giggles after reading this?! Someone please help me: how do I change autocorrect on an iphone! I love pranks! My husband and I used to love scaring each other!

  20. Not married yet, but boyfriend (and his brother as well for that matter) slip the handbrake on in my car while I’m checking to make sure it’s clear before reversing out of the drive way! Needless to say, I don’t get very far when I try reversing then look over to see him snickering like a school girl!

  21. Husbeast and I do this sort of stuff too, very lame, but so fun. We have had week long hashtag wars. It keeps life fun 🙂

  22. I love it!! I’m not good at messing with people because I think I’m hilarious (I’m not, I’m just super lame) and can’t keep going with it.
    My husband loooves to mess with me. Especially about cars. “Hey babe, I found this awesome car, it’s a beetle engine with a ferrari kit over the top. It was only $6000 so I bought it!” It took a good couple of days of me saying “You didn’t really buy it. No I don’t believe it. Tell me you didn’t buy it!” for him to actually say the words “No I didn’t buy it.” Messes with my head!
    He also has the ability to bullshit with a completely straight face so sometimes I can’t tell if he’s having me on or not.

  23. You know that running couple, was it me and my beloved? We did a fun run at the weekend, and that’s exactly what we said. I did think at the time, that we were like the race entertainment, the other runners must have thought we were hilare. Me not so much. But at least we weren’t holding hands! I never knew that about auto correct – it’s a whole new world!

  25. So funny… this made me smile today?.. and gave me ideas… hubby is not a big txt fan I can write I long detailed informative txt only to receive.. OK back.. OH NO my lameness is going to extend to my children… mwahahahahahahahaha

  26. My husband has a couple of beers most nights after work.
    If he puts his bottle down, say, on the kitchen bench to go to the loo, when he comes back its not where he thinks he left it. It might be on the coffee table instead.
    He’s never come out & asked me, but this has been happening to him for months and you can see his look of confusion with not finding his beer…..I love it. Don’t know why I do it tho

  27. Yep i’ve got an “ok-er” too. Hmmmm …. what can i autocorrect OK too?! This post had me laughing … thank you so much.

  28. Theres 4 things that help when joking with {read : playing tricks on} hubby. 1. He walks round in a daze. alot. 2. He is a creature of habit so therefore predictable. 3. The ensuite and WIR doors are sliding. and 4. He scares easy!
    So when he is using the ensuite and just about done I stand, nose almost to the door and wait. He jumps and yelps every.single.time! Sooo funny! 😀
    The kids have just started getting in on the fun – when they hear him arrive home they run and hide {A long time game they all love} and they do the same as me but from the other side of the ensuite or in the WIR … We think we’re pretty amusing haha 😀
    Totally going to try the autocorrect one 🙂

  30. we have a plastic spider that looks like a huntsman and we hide it in places to scare each other, best I managed was in his coffee cup when he was half asleep making his morning cup he got a fright, it was hilarious, he’s got me many times with it (I admit he’s better at hiding it) in between pranks it can sit on the windowsill for a few months until one of decides it’s prank time again and the kids enjoy hiding it too.

  31. Oh my goodness YES! We both call each other babe and hate the “mate” thing… So that’s exactly what I do to get a rise out of him: call him mate. Or dude. Cos he hates that too. The changing autocorrect thing is GENIUS! I’m so going to do that…

  32. We totally do this. But i go one better. My mums food makes me incredibly gassy and as i always drive, i lock the windows, fart and wait for the smell to reach his nostrils before i just about pee myself laughing.

  33. Oh my god. I am so doing that autocorrect thing. My hubby has heaps of them in his phone for work stuff and coz we are linked it drives me insane! Can’t even write my best friend’s name – Nat auto corrects to national. I’m gonna fuck with him big time!

  34. Lol, my eldest tried to do this to me – when I wrote his name it can up most favourite son and when I wrote his brother and sisters name it came up least favourite son/daughter. Cheeky bugger!!

  35. We’re just as silly! The standing game at the moment is attaching a clothes peg to one another without the recipient noticing! We have a bunch with names written on them from when we were sorting our wedding table plans a few years back. ‘Uncle Dave’ is constantly being passed back and forth clipped onto the hem of T-shirts, jeans belt loops, jacket pockets etc. Ridiculous I know, but there’s a definite amused satisfaction when he heads off to work pegged, and an equal frustration when I’m halfway round the supermarket and find it attached to my coat!

  36. My husband tries to hide in the little nook in our hallway then jump out and scare me when I come home from work, but the dog gives him away every time, standing in the hall looking up at him wagging his tail while husband tries to coax him into the nook, it never works, we both end up going raahhhh and laughing our heads off and hugging including the dog!

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