Letter to Luella: One year old

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My dear, sweet Luella,

I need to start by saying just how much I love you, because the love I have for you is immeasurable. It’s huge.

Gaga {grandma} said to me the other day, “I think you’re enjoying Lulu more than you did with Lacey.” She whispered it actually, because it is kinda taboo, to compare. But the truth is, we are. Because of a few reasons, with Lacey we were wearing our L plates, learning how to parent and it was stressful at times, and mostly because we just weren’t getting any sleep at all. When Lacey was one we {I mean I} as surviving on 1-2 hours of sleep a night some nights, and just dragging myself around. It was really hard. I didn’t love her any less, I just didn’t know how good life {parenting} could be when you’ve got sleep, a happy baby and a bit of routine. It changes everything.

You are a happy little soul. We’ve been seeing an Osteo since you were a little baby, and we hadn’t seen him for about 4 months and when I took you in he couldn’t believe just how happy you are. I think he said that you were the easiest baby to treat EVER. You can put that on your resume when you’re older.

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I was sad about you turning one. I know, I know… call me pathetic {when you’re old enough to know what that word means} but I was. The week before I was teary in the quiet of night just before my head hit the pillow for sleep. I was teary because I was going to miss you being my baby, and I mourned how quickly the year had flown by. Being my second baby I knew how fast the time flies by, and I wanted to soak up every moment… but it still didn’t feel enough. How could I have possibly been more present, or enjoyed you more? I don’t think I could have {but still that couldn’t stop me being sad about it}.

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I don’t know if you’ll be my last baby. My head says yes, my heart says no. I think that only adds to the heightened emotions.

But what would life be without all these feelings; all the happy, sad, nervous, and more happy?

Wow, that’s deep.

You’ve been walking for three months now, which just seems out of this world. Even now we’ll be walking and people have to stop and comment that you’re walking so early. When I tell them that you’ve been doing it since 9 months of age… they can’t believe it. You do look too small to be walking so confidently.

You can say lots of words too, things like ‘look at this’, mama, dada, shoes, strawberries {more like storbees}, woof, and more that I probably can’t remember. You know what you want. You like to wear shoes, so you’ll bring them to me and bug me until I realise that you want to put them on. You’re a great little communicator, you can let us know when you want to sleep, when you want to eat {you’ll run to the kitchen and make a fuss until food is served} and you’ll grab a pillow if you want a breastfeed. The doctor wanted to check your tonsils this week and was struggling to pry open your mouth with her stick. I suggested that maybe if she asked you to open your mouth, or if we showed you how to do it, you’d just do it. And you did. Opened your mouth, just like that.

Just quietly, I think you’re a genius.

You love food. Sheesh! You love the food. Raspberries are your favourite. I have to hide them because you’ll demolish them by the punnet-full. You loved mash potato, and sushi too. You’re messy, but you’re having fun and that’s what matters.

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A big part of me wants to tell you not to grow up, to stay little for ever… but that’s me being selfish. Instead I want to tell you this: Please grow up. Please grow into a beautiful woman who one day gets to experience the joy that you’ve brought into our lives. Please grow to make your own dreams come true, to achieve the things you want to, and to continue to make me so proud of the beautiful person you are. Please do grow up.

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I am so lucky to have you as my daughter. Lacey loves having you as a sister, and Dadda loves you to bits and pieces. Bronte, well… she’s getting to know you and is undecided at present. But hey, you can’t win everyone.

I love you. I do.
Thank you for bringing me such pure happiness,
Mama. xxPhoto credit: These beautiful photos above were taken by the lovely Rana Rankin. If you’re on the Gold Coast I can’t recommend her enough. I’ll share more photos when we get them. lulu

28 thoughts on “Letter to Luella: One year old”

  1. Gorgeous photos, gorgeous girl, gorgeous post!!!! V didn’t walk til she was 1, and I still get the ‘she’s too tiny to be walking’ too! Hey, these petite gals have got places to go too, you know?! X

  2. This letter is beautiful. Makes me want to take some quiet time to write one to my little girl, who will be 1 year old on October 1st.

  3. I am only at 5months and already I am wishing she would stay a baby forever. Will have to have an extra packet of tissues in the house when she turns one. eek. Your girls are super lucky to have you as a mum – so much love.

    • The time just flies, doesn’t it? There were parts that I kinda wished away when she was so unhappy {colic-y} but now I miss those newborn days. Now is good too though. So much to look forward to!

      • Some days are worse than others. My little one has the best mood swings and she certainly knows what she wants. Though I am glad that the good always out weighs the bad.

  4. Rana’s photos alone had me in tears – they’re beautiful! Then add your heartfelt words and I am just in awe of this post. You’re an amazing Mama Telle, with two very lucky little girls.
    C x

  5. So beautiful! I’m in tears reading this! My husband and I have been trying for two years to have a little one and every word you wrote confirms to me why I want to be a mum. Thank you!

  6. She is one beautiful kid Chantelle! And you are one amazing mom, I hope you both have more and more cuddles! Happy Parenting

  7. Oh Chantelle, you make me well up! What a beautiful little girl she has turned into! You should be so proud! xxxx P.S you should have another, you make beautiful babies!!

  8. She is absolutely precious! And this letter is so sweet! I know you’re children will appreciate these letters when they get older because my mother wrote some for me and I love and cherish them so much! It’s amazing how she’s grown!

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