What! You Too?

Don’t you think this happens a lot as a Mama, and as a blogger?

Quite often I’m taken aback that someone is experiencing the same thing as me, or going through something that I once experienced.

I know every journey is different, with life and motherhood. We all travel different paths, yet I find that we’re still united in so many different ways.

I often find myself in the blogosphere nodding along and gasping within: What? You too? I only felt the same way last week!

And with motherhood. Well, that seems to happen all the time. When Lacey was born I was shifted from room to room without any interaction with other mothers at all. I had a private room so didn’t share with any other babies or Mamas. I think it was many days before I even saw another baby, and that was probably in the canteen as I quickly grabbed some supplies and then retreated back to the sanctuary of our room.

So after a week of being in the hospital I was having breastfeeding attachment issues with Lacey so I saw a midwife. She put me into a little intensive group so a lactation consultant could help guide us through any issues we had.

I sat with two other women, and their babies. The other babies were 2 weeks old. To me that felt sooo much older than Lacey. Those mothers were (or seemed at the beginning anyhow) practically experts. They’d been Mamas forever. Two weeks seemed like a long time to me. I think it was because they’d also been home as well. I hadn’t experienced the real world as a Mama yet.

We sat there and talked as we worked out how to feed our hungry little babies properly. I realised how much we were all alike. I was nodding along about birthing experiences. About how we felt after the birth. About how much they adored their new little bundles. About how exhausting it all already was. About how little we really new, but how right it all felt.

It was my first real contact with Mama’s being a new Mama myself. And inside my head that quote came up: What you too? Thought I was the only one.

And I wanted to hold on to them for dear life, these new friends of mine. I wanted to feel connected like this forever. It was my first experience of sharing about motherhood and babies. Were there other mothers out there who got me, like I got them?

I wanted to swap emails and phone numbers. But in fear of seeming desperate I left empty handed, back into the world unsure if I would meet others travelling the same path as me.

It wasn’t that I was feeling isolated, because I wasn’t. I had a great support network. There really wasn’t any time to feel isolated. People were always popping in. I had Hubby home with me for weeks before and after Lacey was born. It was just that warm, fuzzy feeling when friendship is born because two or more people are sharing something. Something special.

Those moments have happened a lot since that day. and it’s lovely to be able to share something with someone. Even if it goes unspoken. As one person talks I often find myself nodding along, or giving them a knowing smile. I get you, my eyes say. I do. And in that moment friendship is born.

That’s the great thing about motherhood and parenthood. How ever different we may be, we’re ever so much the same.

The other day I had Lacey in the pram as we walked past the pet store. Out the front was a father and a baby girl happily looking at the new puppies. The little girl looked to be a few months older than Lacey, and to my delight she had about the same amount of beautiful blond hair.

I scooped up Lacey out of the pram and decided that we too needed to look at puppies. The father and I looked at each knowingly. At the same time we spoke. I said: Oh, a little twin for Lacey. He said: I see someone else has hair issues. We laughed.

We didn’t need to say anything else. We just knew that we’d heard all the same comments, thought all the same things.

And that was enough. That was all I needed. My little What you too? hit and I was on my way. xx