I sheepishly asked my husband, with a hint of doubt in my voice.
He tugged at the zipper. We wriggled, and moved trying to make it easier for the zip to slide up. I breathed in until I thought I might turn blue. Eventually the zip made it’s way all the way to the top. I was in.
I sat down on the bed, cautiously, with a sense of dismay. “It’s so hot outside,” I whined, “I can’t wear this.”
“You look beautiful,” my husband tried to convince me. I wasn’t sure whether he was being honest or just wanted to prevent a major wardrobe related meltdown.
I didn’t feel beautiful. It was tipped to be a 42 degree day out. We had a wedding in the middle of nowhere without an air-conditioner in sight. I knew I’d regret the dress decision as the day wore on. It was too tight.
I requested to be unzipped, and quickly donned my old faithful. Equally as beautiful, but definitely not as new.
I have a section in my wardrobe dedicated to the clothes that never were. Clothes that still have their tags. Clothes that I could almost fit into, but didn’t quite. Clothes that I purchased whilst filled to the brim with hope and self-belief. Clothes that I will wear… one day.
I love these clothes. I bought them years ago, when I was thinner. Almost thin enough, but not quite. I don’t look at them and think of the occasions that never were, I look at them and think of the future that we have together. There are jeans that costs more than I’d like to admit. I’ll wear them one Winter, I know I will. There’s a sweet black designer dress with hand embroidery down the front that I’ll wear during Summer on one balmy night. And then there’s the dress that I almost wore to the wedding so many years ago, with the beautiful black bow on the front. I’ll wear that one day. I know I will.
I held it up this past weekend and looked it over. I smiled. I’m 1.2 kg closer {my loss this week} to wearing it. I don’t look at it as the dress that never was, I look at it as the dress that one day will be.
One day soon. Hopefully.
What a gorgeous post.
You know it is only 5kg to a dress size? You are just a week or two closer.
I have a small bag of “what was” which just makes me laugh. A size 26 shirt and a pair of size 26 shorts. Both in black and utterly shapeless.
But I do get an intense pleasure from going out clothes shopping these days for “special occasion” clothes. Whole entire outfits. It is utter bliss.
I have a size 10 black strapless dress, size 12 witchery shorts and a couple of tops that I cannot fit into to save me. But they will be worn, one day.
I am actually scared to weigh myself at the moment..
xx
Congratulations on your 1.2kg loss, Chantelle!
Chantelle,
I feel your pain… I lost A LOT of weight a few years ago and it took a massive effort. Working out twice a day etc… I have begun the journey again and hopefully a more sustainable result this time. It has taken me 3 months but I have lost 6 kgs… While I have kept all this off facebook I have a goal I want to reach first and hopefully when I get back from the trip OS I will have achieved it. It will be strange for me not to weigh myself everyday for 7 weeks just like not to have internet access everyday 🙂
So back on topic. I have a pair of Sass bide size 12 jeans – brand new and a amazing amazing beautiful Alannah Hill skirt sitting in my closest.. My dream My Hope … so I am journeying with you so you aren't along with the struggles. PS. my tips try a boxing class or zumba they make you burn I lost 2 kgs last week and so far kept it off 🙂
even though I am below my goal weight and the lightest I have been since I can remember, I know my body shape has changed since early adult hood. I was actually hoping to fit into my formal dress. No Hope. Way to small, the zip only does 1/2 way and my boobs are too big. I was hoping one day. But sadly (and happily) I'm not the same person!
1.2kg is a huuuge amount to lose in one week! you'll be in that beautiful frock before you know it 🙂 xx
you go girl. 1.2 kg is a huge loss. you should be very proud.
gorgeous dress by the way. i have a dress i want to fit into too. but yours is way nicer.
Firstly I love your blog! I too have the wardrobe full of clothes that I'm going to wear that I have bought on sale, paid full price, bought when I started diets and needed motivation. Sadly none of these fit at the moment. 6 weeks ago my gym started a six week challenge I thought i'd give it a go paid my $130 “(which I'm sure hubby thought was a waste of money) Let's face it when have I not being trying to loose weight, but today proudly with only a week of the challenge left I am winning! While the kilos aren't dropping off like I had hoped the cms are and my new philosphy is if the cms come off then the weight will have too cause it will have nowhere to go. So with one week of my challenge left and about a 10cm lead I actually believe that I can win and the best part is not only will I win I will have lost over 6kgs and more than 42cms and it has given me the kickstart and belief I need to be my goal weight. Good Luck with your journey keep going you can do it!
you know what, I think you need to change your words, take out the hopefullys and the what-ifs and write about this as though it is already yours, it is.
As much as I love the name Fat-Mum-Slim – I actually think having this name for your blog is holding you back – as long as you keep referring yourself with the words – Fat Mum – you are holding on to it — I think there is a lot in that.
Let go of it as your title — and see what happens.
Tell the world what you want to be true about yourself – in a completely positive context – let go of what does not serve you anymore.
Just felt really compelled to say this to you, hope you take it in the manner in which I mean it!
Mine is a little different.
I did have 'the dress, the jeans, the tops that one day will be'
Now they fit and I have 'the dress, the jeans etc…' that were.
It is very rewarding and well worth the effort. And you keep the old things to remind you of what was and don't go back.
1.2kg in a week is brilliant! Keep it up! Summer will be upon us shortly and that stunning dress will hopefully get the the chance to shine!!!
Not anymore. I used to but decided enough was enough and I threw them all out.
I now have limited clothes and spur myself on with the thought of a whole new wardrobe when I lose my 50kg [that's a whole anorexic Hollywood celebrity!].
1.2kg is a great loss for the week!
1.2 kg is fantastic . congratulations..any loss is a fantastic loss.
I started betty baxter about 3 weeks ago and have lost 4.6 kg. I am so excited about any loss too. last night my husband asked me how many kilos i would like to lose I said 40kg he said what ..sweety you are so beautiful the way you are, why do you want to lose that much? for the first time in a long time the answer that first came to my head was health, not to be like all the skinny women and beautiful which i do think alot (used to) skinny = beautiful. so in short I too am on my journey and I too have many beautiful clothes that I will wear in the not to distant future…I dont say my weight out loud or even type but today I am going to I was 100.3kg and I am now 95.7, my next little mini goal is to be in the 80's so exciting…
Have a fantastic Day…
So lovely to think of that dress waiting for you. I have one the same. You've inspired me to work harder to get into the damn thing. A party in two weeks might be just the place. And there's always Nancy Ganz if I don't quite get there. x
Congratulations on your weight lose.
x
Fabulous post. I loved it. I can so relate. x
wow what a pretty dress! retro daddy and I joke about the very expensive work suit in my wardrobe which cost almost $2k. I wore it 3 times because I bought it before my wedding and once I got married and settled down…..I got a little chubby!
I do have the very skinny section of my wardrobe but I'm trying to give somethings away but I just can't part with that suit because I spent so much on it!
Corrie;)
I used to have a dedicated 'one day' section in my wardrobe, and after 3 years of none of it being worn, I gave it away to skinnier friends. Fast forward 18 months and I am now kicking myself as I have to go and re-buy so many things that I gave away 🙁
A good excuse for shopping yes, but very very bad for the budget!
Congrats on the loss. I know EXACTLY what you are writing about here xx
Congratulations…you are beautiful and you will wear those clothes X
I love this post as well. I was wondering if others had clothes with tags on like I do …oh the shame to see them sitting there. So it's a comfort to know I'm not alone.
I have to say I agree with an earlier comment about you changing the name of your blog. You are such a beautiful, talented, whimsical writer and have such a way with words and ideas. Fat mum slim just doesn't do you justice. Most women protest about being defined by their weight, why would you let it define your blog? It's so much more than that – as are you.
Why not make the name of this magic e-journal something inspirational and dreamy, so it fits with everything it stands for?
Congratulations on the weight loss …getting closer, well done you and an inspiration to me to get off my butt and get moving so I too can one day fit into my collection of ''one day I'll wear you''!!
ps. i love the name fatmumslim : )
Fantastic loss Chantelle
I have garbage bags – green ones full of clothes that I love which I no longer fit into. The sad thing is that I can remember wearing them and thinking at the time how fat I was. Now since having Raya they just don't fit quite right – but they will. We will be reunited soon I just know it
Hey Telle, I was gonna say what all the other girls have said, 1.2kg is an AMAZING loss 🙂 You are one of the most beautiful people I've ever “met” (I say that because I only know you online, not IRL :D).. I hope that truth seeps deep into your mind and you feel the truth of how gorgeous you are!
xo
Hey Chantelle, congrats on losing 1.2kg. But just remember it's not about the numbers, it's all about how you feel about yourself. Sometimes it's better to forget the scales and the sizes of clothes and just 'go by feel' for a while. You're doing great – keep positive. Jac
oh yes i have that section…….some how though alot of them have gone out of fashion as it's been so so long…..i have to say i have gotten rid of alot of it, one thing i took from trinny and suzanne {don't buy for the size on the tag, buy what looks good on your body} hard i know………big thumbs up for the weight loss, you go girl xox
Yes, I don't think I know a woman who doesn't have a selection such as this. I made a little black dress a few years ago that is currently four sizes smaller than I currently inhabit. I know its in my future and not doomed to go on eBay. *grin*
I sold all my skinny (mostly pre-baby) clothes on ebay as I couldn't bear the disappointment every time I looked at them anymore. I also refuse to buy clothes when I go up in weight. As a result, at the moment my wardrobe looks absolutely dismal and contains very slim pickings *sigh*
Well done on your loss x
Wow Chantelle another 1.2kgs down…. well done!!!! I think nearly everyone has that little section in their wardrobe for 'one day'…. I know I do. Keep it up. Cassiexx
I'm coming after you lady!
You want to have a Voluptacon V's FatMumSlim weight loss showdown?
(Congrats on the weight loss)