Every single year, without fail, I have a birthday and I get a year older. Funny that. Every. Single. Year.
When I turned 10 I realised that I had an odd relationship with birthdays. I took Ma aside and told her, “I’ll make my own cake and I don’t want anyone singing happy birthday to me. You hear me?”
So they didn’t. I made a cake that looked like a piano {because at that age I played a mean chopsticks and thought I had a musical future} and nobody sang me happy birthday. There was no awkward moment where everyone sings {mostly out of tune} and the person {i.e. me} sits there no knowing that to do. Awks.
I don’t mind getting older. I like that each year is filled with learning and growing and experiences. I’m not scared of aging, although I’d like to stay as youthful as possible, for as long as I can… of course. Naturally. I’ll be 33 this year. That’s no secret.
So why do I have this odd relationship with birthdays? Part of me wants to celebrate. A very small part of me kinda likes the attention. All of me, particularly my tummy, likes the cake. I kinda like the presents. I love the cards. I don’t mind the phone calls. But I’m never ever completely comfortable with it all.
I’m the hardest person to buy for. At the start of this year I said to Hubby, “We need to make more of an effort with birthdays, for Lacey’s sake. I want her to see that we are thoughtful and caring, and that birthdays are pretty special.”
In theory that was a great idea, but in reality Hubby and I are super hard to buy for. I don’t even know what to ask for. So we decided that we’d just take each other out to lunch each birthday, and I’ll buy some things I need for Lacey to give to me. I’m thinking plates and drinking glasses. Thrilling stuff.
If Facebook is any guide, it seems that everyone else loves birthdays. There are presents, and presents, and beautiful wrapping paper, surprises, cakes, balloons, parties, dancing and non-stop fun.
Next week I have a birthday. I’ll, I guess, celebrate another year on earth. I’ll do what I do every year, want to celebrate it in style while hoping that no one gives me much attention. Who on earth can figure that one out, when I can’t even?
What are you like when it comes to birthday? Attention-seeking celebrator? Or wishing it away? Or somewhere in between, like me?
photo credit: david.eugene. via photopin cc
I don’t need much, but I don’t want to feel forgotten either. A nice dinner, a couple cards, a few incidental presents, and for GOD’S SAKE a cake. The last two years? No cake. I’m over it. I’m baking my own next year if I have to.
Yes! Get yourself the cake. Do it.
I will!
I don’t need much either, but I do like being remembered.
I used to be terrible at birthdays. I ruined my 11th birthday with a sullen, face-schrunched hissy fit because I hadn’t wanted a party or all the attention while we were away on holidays with a bunch of strangers. Then I got a massive talking to about ruining it for everyone else, and not being grateful for all the effort everyone had gone to. And I felt bad. Now I like to make my own fuss – make my own cake, organise my own celebration so I can control just how much attention and effort is given by other people and I don’t have to feel bad. I much prefer family affairs, where I’m quite happy to have Happy Birthday sung loudly and with much gusto.
Love birthdays, even though I’m a few decades older than you! Love the phone calls and cards ‘cos they usually come from the heart. Pressies are grand but not necessary. I don’t require cake or a song. But I love brekky, lunch or dinner and a chance to scrub up! Yep, I love birthdays!
I’m halfway in between loving my birthday and wishing it away depending on the year. For the most part I’ve had such bad luck with birthdays that me grabbing a slice of ice cream cake is amazing enough for me!
I’m in the middle. Love a bit of spoiling, but don’t ever throw a party for me. My introvert self is exhausted just thinking about a party. I like to think that people remember me on my birthday, but if they don’t that’s fine, just as long as they don’t expect me to work on my birthday.
When it comes to the present-buying, I’m tough and I’m not tough to buy for. With less than 2 years left of my twenties, I’ve quickly discovered in life that I’m all about the memory making and experiences rather than the material things (I won’t say no to a book and a new charm for my bracelet though). For the past three years hubby asks what I want, because in his eyes I’m hard to buy for, and each year I keep saying to him, a memory-making experience, don’t bother with presents. He gets very affronted by this as he’s all about spoiling with the presents, but if you try to do it him, it’s a different story.
I had 3 older brothers who had lovely birthdays. I always wanted a lovely party. S0, when I was the ripe old age of turning 5, I decided I was having one. Mom said I could, but she didn’t know when and who we would invite. I was very impatient about this because I had already shown them the doll I wanted and they told me we would probably have it after church on Sunday. But Mom didn’t give me details, and I wanted details. My father was a minister and I had lots of friends in Sunday School and knew their names. I was always writing things down and knew my letters and numbers and how to use a phone. So, I proceeded to make a list of people to invite and asked my mother their phone numbers. She thought nothing of it, since I frequently questioned her with words and numbers to write. What she didn’t know, was that I was calling each family and asking them to my party at 3 on Sunday. Soon she began to get phone calls from parents telling her how cute it was that I had called them to invite them myself. Yes, I got the party and the doll. So, yes, I love birthdays, for everyone. I love celebrating friends and loved ones and love being celebrated and sharing the happy day. I don’t always have a party, but we all deserve the celebration of life, in some way. Needless to say, I still love to plan parties!
Great post! I like having a series of small catch ups with friends for my birthday, usually over a beautiful high tea. I’m not a big party person. My hubby always writes me a gorgeous card, and I drop a few hints at what I might like, but we’re not massive gift givers. Our second child is due on my birthday (29th August) so it will be interesting to see if i get an extra special birthday gift this year 🙂 Happy Birthday for next week!! x x
Ps. But I do love cupcakes for my birthday!! Will be dropping extra big hints for some special cupcakes this year 🙂 x x
I think you know where I stand on this 😉 Am sad my birthday week is over but boy did I make the most of it! Embrace it Chantelle. Embrace. And I made my own birthday cake because that’s always been my thing too.
Odd relationship with it here as well. Mine was yesterday… I am like you with finding it all a bit awkward. I love love love to give people great thoughtful gifts and am totally humiliated and even feel very anxious when I am opening gifts from other people when I do not know what is inside. And it is a day where I always feel totally let down by my extended family 🙁 It is Ok though, the family I chose are fabulous enough to make up for it. This year I could have done without the rude card that my MIL gave my with a “joke” in it about food and exercise :/
Any excuse to drink Champagne (French) and eat cake is fine by me.
Happy birthday!
cilla
i lvoe birthdays but i dont like parties in my honour. i like going to other peopl’es parties. In regards to presents i like going out to dinner etc. i already buy what i need. I don’t mind a book voucher though as i cant usually justify buying a new book otherwise…cake is good too
I’m a bit funny about birthdays too but I think it’s because I don’t generally have very good ones. Not for lack of loved ones trying, just everything seems to go wrong. Last year I spent 8 hours in the car on the way Canberra for an unavoidable trip, the year before I spent it in hospital with Mr Smaggle because he had some awful viral thing and needed a spinal tap, my 16th sucked because I had the flu… I do however tend to have FABULOUS Easters. Every year without fail. Go figure.
I love birthdays! Growing up my parents made them very special. But hubby hates birthdays because they were never celebrated very much growing up. He doesn’t mind when I give him presents, but in the beginning when my parents would buy him gives (this goes for Christmas as well) he wouldn’t understand why. I used to say “because birthdays are special! And they love you, silly”. He’s better with them now but still a bit funny.
I’m definitely attention seeking on my birthday, however I hate being sung happy birthday to and I begged my parents when I was little to tell everyone NOT to sing to me and they still did and oh did the tears flow!!! I love getting gifts, and I’m not afraid to say that because I equally love GIVING gifts, too. I love the cards, the delicious foods. I don’t like going out to celebrate, for me a day at the zoo with Jen or spending the time home, BBQing is perfect. I don’t mind going out to eat, but it’s not necessary and really, home-made food is da best. I turn 24 on July 28th (Leo – rawr!) and I’m counting down the days. ^_^
On the other hand, Jen is much like you birthday wise. She gets excited, but feels awkward in a way, so I totally understand.
I hope, however you celebrate, you have a wonderful day filled with love, happiness and a sprinkle of magick! Not to mention good health, good wishes and warmth! <3
I’ve always had a bad relationship with my birthday, it’s early january and the lack of attention from everyone else has always left me feeling a little let down. I’ve felt this way most of my life, and just to screw with my head a little more I go and have a baby two days after mine. So now my job in life is not to self loath myself on my birthday but do my bloody best to make sure my daughter doesn’t feel undervalued on hers.
I love birthdays! I usually buy myself something too just in case, ha ha but I seem to have a good year every second year. I just love a bit of thoughtfulness and appreciation from those closest to me.
I like and I don’t like birthday. It’s a time to celebrate and party with my friends but I grow older and it makes me sad. Maybe because I’m feeling incomplete since so many years ?
I feel that since i’ve had my daughter, my birthday has taken a total back seat and it’s all about her now! My husband doesn’t care for a fuss either, so I went a bit bonkers planning my daughter’s last month – party, cakes, balloons etc and obviously at two she was FAR too young to notice but all I really want for my birthday (also next week!) is a lie in and a nice glass (or two, or three!) of wine.
Must have cake, but prefer to make my own over a bought one. I tend to travel over my birthday, not every year though. This year I’m headed to New York City for my 30th, travelling alone and have just decided to do a cruise ex NYC and will be onboard on my actual birthday. Will probably have family and a few friends for a bbq before I leave.
First off, happy birthday!!
Secondly, as a kid I couldn’t get enough of thinking and planning for my birthday. I would count the days down and check out books from the library on theme parties and whatnot. I never did get one of those theme parties, but up until a few years ago I was still counting down the days until MY day. I get your whole thing on not being the center of attention as everyone sings, it is a little awkward, but just about everyone has to endure it so it feels less so at the time. At this point in my life, I’m not wishing it away yet. . .I do like a LITTLE bit of attention on my day still though. I guess I’m somewhere between you and the attention-seeker. I don’t SEEK the attention as I don’t throw myself my own party (like a few of my friends do) but I don’t mind it at all for the time being.
Anyway, here’s hoping you get just the right amount of attention from the people you love on YOUR day!
I always think I don’t want a fuss but then am always a teensy bit disappointed when everyone takes me at my word. Irrational. My poor husband…
Hi Chantelle.
Funny you brought this subject. On the 31st of May I made 29 years old and I’m just like you in this situation, it’s always awkward… and the singing, kills me! 🙂
Last year, I even cried… and really had to live the table. I looked arround me and I saw my family and my grandmother that has 85th.
I think I’ve cried because I was thinking in life and that person, that is so sweet for me, like a second mother really, in a few year maybe it’s not with us anymore…
So I’ve decided to have a chocolate cake every year and eat a slice even when I shouldn’t lol, be with friends and have a great day, because we never know… when someone cannot be there with you.
Anyway, have a great day and an amazing dinner with your hubby!
Kisses
First of all – Have a Happy, Wonderful Birthday – and may it be whatever YOU want! Second – I take my birthday very seriously! It’s MY day – I try to take the day off work, I usually go to the spa and spoil myself – I take myself out to eat – I make sure somehow I have cake – and sometimes I have a “home party” of some sort… so I have friends over. I’ve done a jewelry party, stampin’ up party, one sole shoe party – and I’ve loved it! One year, when my birthday was on Sunday, and I was scheduled for a singing special – I got up there and made everyone at church sing to me first!!!! So, I’m a Birthday Diva! I make March 10th very special for ME! Now, when I was living with my husband, I wished he would make it special – he never really did – so I took it upon myself to do it for myself! Now he’s out of my life, and I can do it without any feeling of remorse! MY day! All MINE!!!! This year a concert with Tobymac – my fave! Oh wow was it awesome! Anyway – to each their own… for me – it’s MY DAY!!!! 🙂