32 thoughts on “Street kids.”

  1. I wish for those days, for my children, but we live in a busy Sydney suburb in an apartment 🙁 there are plenty of kids around, but we have heaps of traffic passing through here, both car and pedestrian. And quite frankly, I have an over active imagination, the thought of my children where I can’t see scrapes me to death.

  2. Great post!

    My parents home is on the corner of a fairly busy street, and a side street which is a cul-de-sac. This past summer, I happened to be in the driveway when I noticed these three young brothers skateboarding down the side street. The side street has bit of a slope to it, so they would set themselves up halfway up the street and end up on the busy street.

    There is a hedge along our driveway, thus making it harder for a vehicle to see them ahead of time, and knowing how quickly vehicles like to turn up that street, I asked them if they would mind changing their location because it was not safe. They came back the next day and my mom asked them to do the same. As a mother, she was very concerned for their safety because there was NO adult supervision.

    Shortly after my mother spoke with the boys, they ran off and their mom showed up on our door step, threatened my mother and phoned the RCMP claiming that she was harassing her children; this lady told the officer that they are allowed to skateboard wherever they want, etc. Needless to say, my mother was horrified (as was the Officer!). This lady also told the Officer that if her children were hit by a vehicle, it would be the vehicles fault.

    It turned out that this family didn’t even live on our street, or on the side street. At the end of the cul-de-sac, there is a trail leading to another road (5 minute walk from my house to theirs). There is also a skateboard park and a playground near their house as well. The mother didn’t want her boys to skateboard on the street, in front of their home, but felt it was safer for them to skateboard on another street where she couldn’t see them? She phoned the RCMP because she is protective of her children, yet she cannot be bothered to supervise them? Yikes!

    As a young child, I was never allowed to play on the street by myself. And when I have children, I don’t think I would allow them to play on the street without an adult present.

  3. No I don’t let my kids go to other people’s homes unless I know the parents really, really well. No sleepovers either unless the same. I don’t let my kids out of my sight!!! – Too many bad things can happen at the hands of other adults. And I think I have educated my kids well on all of those things and how to protect themselves too. ( I am sensing that you feel that you haven’t got your daughter well prepared enough yet! and she is a bit too young to prepare for some things!!) Even if they are in the backyard I am always singing out, terrified that they might have been hurt or bitten by a snake. I am a mess if they are out of my sight when we go somewhere, I just. cannot. relax. I have found that It gets better as they get older and they can call you (or you them) with their mobile phones! I am like you I would rather my home be the party house and am happy for the kids to have friends over! (it helps them keep on top of their room cleaning too- ie no friends if a grotty room)
    I’m often found just lurking, or shadowing in the background! Looking to be doing my own thing- but still there.

    • I have a feeling that this is a start of the different kind of ‘not relaxing’ ever. Before it was sleepless nights and feeding and now it’s a new type of stress. Glad I’m not alone in how I feel.

      I was sexually abused as a kid, so Lacey won’t be having sleepovers unless it’s family. Man so much to stress about.

  4. In our childhoods most of the parents had the same standards and would have disciplined children other than their own. It was more of a village raising a child so you would have been safer. I would invite the other parents over, get to know your neighbors and set defined area for the kids to explore

  5. I had a similar up bringing where we were aloud to play freely out until near dark. I think now days there seems to be more to be worried about, more traffic, more strange people. We live in a relatively quite street during the middle of the day but peak hours we have big tractors passing due to a contracting business down the street. My 5yr old knows about being safe around roads and wont cross unless with an adult which is good. I think my worry is what is acceptable when she is visiting other peoples houses, how long? and she also throws tantrums when its time to leave which is super embarassing (although the mum seemed very good about it at the time, I worry that she thought I wasnt a good mum because she was acting like that).

  6. Hi Chantelle,

    I’m a new mum to two boys and we’ve had this conversation with almost every parent we know. We all generally agree that it’s important to make yourself familiar with as many of the kids parents as possible. You can never know them enough. Personally I would always offer to help the parents to watch the kids and be involved where possible. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being protective over children no matter how much you’re cramping their style. Go with what feels right I say.

    Unfortunately the media has bought light of too many situations of children, now adults, were hurt by evil human beings 20, 30, 40 years ago. It’s horrible but a grim reality that we can never be too careful when it comes to children.

    My family always had kids over our place for playtime and there was always one more parent. We all used to go anywhere we wanted to but our mums where always in the distance chatting but watching. Very subtle way but we were protected.

    Maybe host kids at your place and maybe invite one of the mums for coffee and cake??

    http://motherhoodhearld.blogspot.com.au/

  7. I grew up like you I think – the rule was home before street lights on. Now I have three kids and live in a large country town. They have a lot less freedom than me. I saw this program by an American woman who is anti fear ruling our child raising (and let’s her kids go on the subway over there!) and do agree with her. sorry i cant remember her name but it is interesting viewing. Did you know there is actually less crime now per capita than there was back then? However I cannot relax enough to actually let my kids be unsupervised like we were. I always make sure I know the people whose house they are going to and take them there and pick them up. Same with sleepovers and they are definently not encouraged. Isnt Lacey only four??!! there is no way i would let her out alone. My eight year old isn’t allowed to hang out on the street.I think around aged ten I started allowing a bit of hanging out with the friends around town but was one of the first among the group of mothers to allow that( and i was talked to about it!). My eldest two are 12 and 13 now and I do encourage independence but even then I need to know approximately what they are doing, with whom and when they will be back. I will give in to the phone urge soon;)

  8. I also grew up in a similar way. We played outside ALL day it seems, and of course, had to be home by dark. I remember how fun it was to have so many kids on our street to play with. Now I have 2 little girls. My oldest is 3 1/2 but unfortunately has spent her last year fighting cancer, so she hasn’t been able to make friends. Now that shes in remission and in great health, I’m trying to get her involved in some things around town. We’ve walked around our neighborhood, but I’m not so sure there are many kids 🙁 I really want my girls to grow up surrounded by friends. But like you, I would probably be the awkward Mom standing outside. I just worry too much about something terrible happening!

  9. As kids we too would disappear all day and not come home home until my Dad stood on the back deck and whistled (you could hear it for miles).Now as a parent I am not sure how they did it, how they let us go all day without knowing where we were. I am so overprotective I even check up on my 19 year old…ok so who you going with? when are you going to be home? Always the stay safe speech So how am I ever going to let my one year old play unsupervised?

    http://iliska-dreams.blogspot.com.au/

  10. I think in Germany it depends on the area you live in and the kids your kids spend their time with. I know that we only came home for lunch and then supper, but we lived in a small village where all our neighbours knew us and someone could always have an eye on us through a window and know which direction we went … there were about 20 kids in my age in my street .. I know that it’s still like that there, but I moved to a big city .. it’s just not possible here. Cars, strangers … I wouldn’t let my kid go to school alone – back in the countryside, thats no problem at all though. I think when I’m ready to settle, I want to buy a house in a small town or village, and let my kids have what I had. I loved it and have so, so many great memories!

    http://annemariabarney.blogspot.co.uk/

  11. we lived in a ‘dead end street too” and had a ball. I wanted the same for my kids so we bought a house with a back lane. the back lane gang is the kids mine want to play with. although its not everyday as I remember as many of the kids have quite a lot of activities. it’s a real treat when everyone is present. when we moved to Bali I had to let go a lot. I can’t say i was laid back about it but i tried to look it when the kids came in for something to eat. maybe that’s what our mothers did too

  12. The things I did as a kid, wow. We had a funky old bach north of Auckland and my family always had people to stay, either relatives or family friends. I recall one fabulous adventure where a friend and I walked along the beach one evening and got caught by the tide. We literally had to climb a cliff to get out, and walk home around 3km in the dark. We were certain they would send a search party, or be crazy mad at us. They didn’t even realise we were gone. I think we were around 9?
    Unfortunately, we live on a busy road here, so no playing in the streets. We have a park area two doors down though, so i can imagine in later years I’ll be ok with letting her go and skateboard/ride bikes etc with the neighbourhood kids. I can see it from our back deck. But not yet. I’m in the same situation as you, one kid, parents get boring!

  13. I just had to leave a comment because I find it interesting for people to say they would never let their kids have sleepovers. I met a girl from Taiwan and I was amazed when she said she’d never had friends over for a sleepover or even a play. We live in a country town and have sleepovers nearly every weekend without even thinking twice. The other kids are nearly our family they spend so much time at our house!

  14. As kids, we could play outside quite freely, but my mom always had to either see us from the window or know exactly where we went and for how long. If we didn’t show up at home right on time, she’d be coming to look for us immediately. But I feel we were still rather free to go out and about. Now, I don’t have kids of my own, but we have rather strict rules for my husband’s 8 year old who lives with us during the weeks. Before she started school, she wasn’t allowed to go out alone, be it just in the play yard of our apartment block, or anywhere further. Now, as she also walks to the school every day, she can go play outside if we can see her from the window, or at the park nearby, but she has to have her phone with her and can only be a little while at a time, having to check in often enough. It depends a lot on the area where you live, what the norm is, I would’ve never let her play outside where we used to live before! I don’t think anyone can be too protective, there are so many bad people around, and you always worry about your kids’ safety no matter what age they get (I also still worry about my little brother, we have quite an age difference but he’s over 20 now!).

  15. We have lived in a very small town for all of my kids lives (they are 13 & 15 now). Most if their friends live out of town but I started letting them walk to my mums house on their own when they were about 5, but I watched them until the end if our street & my mum would be watching in her driveway. Our town is on a major highway so I always worried (and still do) about them being taken – they would be in the next state before I even knew they were missing. I always used to make them go places together. I’m getting better now, it’s nice having them spend hours riding their bikes around town with their friends, but they always have their phones so we can always be in touch. I am always anxious about where they are and if they are safe, I don’t think that will ever change. They will always be my babies.

  16. We live in a quiet leafy suburb of Northern Beaches in Sydney. Our house is in a cul-de-sac too. Kids come out to play just like the old days. i only have a girl, just like you. it is a blessing to have duch a safe neighbourhood. All the parents set certain rules, the boundary they can’t cross. No parents were out there supervising or watching them. I do occasionally (like every 15 minutes, or I would stand behind the window and watch them play. I am the most paranoid one) They are all school age. They play backyard cricket in the cul-de-sac, scootering, cycling. I hope it will stay this way for another decade but deep down I know if just a minor incident happen, all innocent will be lost. Nothing will be the same again. But I hold on to it as long as I can.

  17. When I was a kid we were allowed to play up and down our road, I had relatives living in two of the houses down our road and a pretty close friend, not to mention that it was a dead end road which I think helped mum relax a bit. A lot of the time we’d be in each others gardens, but looking back now I don’t know if I’d be so relaxed about it as there’s a dual carriageway at the end of the road separated only by a fence. The kids of today play the same way we did though, just riding bikes up and down for hours.

  18. we live in the country..the kids play in the street with the other kids..they wonder around town like they respectfully own it. We keep an eye on each others children, those we know and those we don’t. Its reminiscent of my childhood and its why I live where I live because I want to give my children the wonderful childhood I had….well a snap shot anyway..xxD

  19. I grew up very much like you did, but here in the states. Unfortunately, my children don’t have the same experience here in FL as you don’t attend school w/ your neighbors necessarily (really different school system here) so consequently they don’t know alot of our neighbors. Since I do have 3 kids though & friends over for playdates often, they do play outside w/ groups of children. We live on a loop street, one street circle neighborhood. I let them ride bikes around, but they have to stay together, never alone. We never allow our children over to people’s homes where we don’t know the parent in charge that day. If it’s a sleepover, we have to know BOTH parents well. My kids started sleepovers with close friends in Kindergarten- age 5, but only with very close friends. My 2 cents, for whatever it’s worth!, is to trust your own motherly instincts. You know your child, people in your life and surroundings best. Everyone’s situation is different & you just have to make the choices that are best for you & yours. There will always be supporters and critics.

  20. Totally understand how your feeling, it’s tricky to find that balance between being a protective mum and letting the kids have there space. We live on a busy street so I am always concerned when the kids play out the front riding bikes etc but I do let them do it as they are getting older and I am trying really hard to let them have some independence. Why not next time lacey wants to play out the front you sit out there with a book/ magazine or your lap top so you are there if she needs you but not hovering over the top of her and that way she has space to make new friend’s and have some independence. Also you don’t feel uncomfortable hanging with the kids…. good luck I think we have all been there. x

  21. Oh, what a great post!

    I also lived in a cul-de-sac when I was growing up and I LOVED it. I was (still am) an only child so home-life was boring and lonely sometimes; growing up on a cul-de-sac populated with kids was probably life-saving for me! We’d run around all day, climbing trees, racing our bikes through the adjacent cul-de-sacs in the neighborhood, playing at the park, and playing scientist in the creeks at the end of the street.

    Now I’m a mom of a 7 year old, a 2 year old, and a 7 month old, and we recently made the move from apartment living to real grown up living in a house, so my husband and I are brand new to the concept of having our own yard and living on a quiet street (instead of communal green space littered with dog poo and a busy parking lot) but we are SO HAPPY to now have both those things to offer our children — a yard and a quiet street for them to make friends and play on and ride their bikes and explore.

    Like you, I remember playing outside all day, errryday and in my memories it seems like my parents were okay with this and immune to worrying about us kids but maybe that wasn’t the case. I don’t know. We’ve only been in our new place for 2 weekends and even though our yard is fenced I’ve found that I am constantly checking on my two girls as they play out back and can’t imagine letting my 7 year old “roam free” with the other neighborhood kids, even though I so badly want her childhood to be as happy as mine was, and part of what made it so happy was the fact that we were allowed to roam free all afternoon long!

  22. I find myself saying “Things aren’t the same today as they were in our day!” and I wonder if our parents felt the same. They had to. But I always felt safe in our cul-de-sac. I was driving around different streets looking at houses for rent recently and a few of the streets had kids out playing in them, so I think it is still done. They were older though, not the age of Lacey and my Nick.

  23. I think she’s young yet, but give her a little while and when she starts school, loosen the reins a little. The world is as safe as we think it is. x

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