Quiet Voice.

Anyways. I knew his name. I didn’t know the name of his books. So I went onto the computer and typed in his name. a few books came up, but their locations didn’t. Just as I was about to scan the store for a helper, a guy walked by so I nabbed him and asked him to point me in the right direction.

The Guy scrolled through the listings. Typed in some passwords. Clicked this. Clicked that. And then said: Well, I know this one is in the self help section and this one is in the special diet section. Follow me.

Perplexed, I followed Guy to the self help section.

We scanned the shelves.There were plenty of other books: Self Defeating Behaviours. When Am I Going To Be Happy? Get Out Of Your Own Way. Women Who Worry Too Much. Learning To Love Yourself.

Me: I actually thought this book would be more in the house sections. It’s about house cleaning and sorting out your stuff. Y’know like spring cleaning and sorting and cleaning… it’s not really about self help….

Guy: Jim! (calls over another Border worker) This lady is trying to find these books by Peter Walsh. Have you heard of him?

Jim: Yeah. I’m sure I unpacked some of them when they came in. Come with me.

Guy: I’ll just go and see if I can find them over there.

I follow Jim to the house section.

We scan the shelves to no avail.

Jim doesn’t use his quiet voice like you would in a library. I know Borders isn’t a library… but I try and use my quiet voice anyway. There’s books around and it’s the right thing to do.

Jim: I think Guy is over in the diet section looking for your book. It’s not here in the house cleaning section. Guy! Did you find it over there?

Guy: I’ve got this one about making your butt look fat? Is that the one you wanted?

Me: I don’t think so (taking the book anyway just to avoid any further unquiet voice usage by the two boys and further embarrassment). Perhaps this book is trying to tell me something anyway.

{Insert awkward giggle from all of us}

I took Lacey and the book into the kids section for five minutes to recover, shoved it in between Thomas the Tank Engine and Spot the Dog, and then made a quick exit out of the store.

Could looking for a book be anymore hilariously painful? I came out of the whole experience looking like a person in need of self-help and a diet, whilst in need of a good house clean. And Jim and Guy made sure that everyone in the store knew about it.

I think I’ll shop online from now on. xx

12 thoughts on “Quiet Voice.”

  1. Isn’t that guy’s whole schtick something like “Is your clutter making you fat?” I saw him on Oprah once with something like that. I thought his house organising tips were good, but thought the fatness/clutter connection was a bit tenuous really.

    Let us know what you think!

  2. Oh, I remember seeing him on Oprah. Back in the days when I had time for Oprah!

    I always pay attention extra hard when there’s something about being organised on, because I’m terrible in that area.

  3. That’s funny! Don’t be fooled, I’ve heard the latest online technology being developed is insults while you browse. Seriously, they track your every move, decide what kind of spender you’ve been and will be, and then…

    price your merchandise accordingly.

    At least with face to face insults you have the option of knocking over their merchandise accidentally.

  4. Oh my how awful for you. Have you looked on Amazon? I usually find everything I need on there if I have no luck at Dymocks or Borders…good luck in finding it.

  5. Hi C..i hope u tell them where to shove their ‘sassy butt book!’ I LOVE bookstores but do not love being left at counter for 10 mins whilst they go searching for book for me ‘out the back’ cause shelves in dissaray and then impatient queue forms behind me…one assistant on…whats with that??? SEE SASSY ORGANISERS GROUP for self-help program coming soon:-) ciao mompaulak xoxo

  6. I adore Peter Walsh! Over here in the States he had a show on The Learning Channel for a while called Clean Sweep that was all about organizing your home (and, in return, your life to some degree).

  7. Chantelle you should try bookdepository.co.uk, I buy a lot of books from there! I do love Borders but think they should have a handy location map or something attached to their search function..! It’s painful trying to locate books that are ‘in stock’ sometimes.

  8. Heidi – I start off well, but my system goes out the window… a lot.

    I don’t have time for Oprah much anymore. Only early morning re-runs on the W channel. 🙂

  9. The heck with the bookstore morons! I am with you about shopping online from now!

    I hope the weather is beautiful and your life is wonderful 🙂

    Brian

  10. Hi Chantelle,

    I was reading though some comments on another blog when I saw your name I just had to pop over and check out your blog. I had seen Peter Walsh on Oprah too and thought it was cool his was Aussie. I’ll come back and visit you again 🙂

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