Last night we went out for Japanese with my cousin and her beau. I asked for half a glass of wine, but my glass kept getting refilled by someone and before I knew it my skin was all tingly and I knew I was getting tipsy. It only takes a glass and a half. I started downing water like it was nobody’s business in order to fight off the inevitable hangover. A little vegemite on toast and a bottle of water this morning is making things better.
We went to our favourite little Japanese place. The same place that Lacey ate the mouthful of wasabi. Thankfully she’s wise to the wasabi now, but the girl makes me smile. She’ll give anything a whirl when it comes to food. She ate sashimi, tofu and even gave eggplant a go.
We’re off to Lacey’s orientation today {I’m hoping I’m all chipper by the time that rolls around}. I’ve now entered into the serious end of parenting. I’m thinking of sending her to two different kindergartens next year. One is more of a pre-school and the other is her current daycare {but they follow the curriculum}. Last night it hit me that it’s probably too much for her. Does anyone have any advice? {Pre-school can only do 2 days, and I kinda need 3-4}.
And then she’s an April baby, so I need to decide do I send her to big school early or hold her back a year. My heart says hold her back, but her teacher says send her early because she’ll be ready.
My head hurts! I think moreso from all the thinking now, and less from the hangover. Do you have any advice? When is your birthday? Did you go to school early or did your parents hold you back a year?
My birthday is smack back in the middle of the year, I started school when I was 4 and a half. I don't have any particularly bad memories, so I assume it was ok! Good luck in making these tricky decision!
My boys are June and July babies and will both start school at five and a half. I'd prefer them to be older than younger at school, plus my eldest is quite small for his age. And for some reason I always think ahead to how old they would be for schoolies week… It's tricky for NSW parents with March to July born kids as the decision is your own.
Dont worry about over thinking things…that is what Parenting is all about…nobody tells you that part when you have kids…how much they will consume your hearts and your thoughts…(or that you never get to go to the toilet in peace again!!!! lol)…
I would love to have done the split option of Kindergarten for my kids…socially it gives them such a great opportunity and to be honest although it is curriculum based…it is play based as well and just lots of fun for them at that age!!! Really the bottom line comes down to trust your gut feeling…will she cope…is she ready…only you know your child and trust that you know them best.
As for holding them back….again…more so depends emotionally…but I think if you go the 2 Kindy option…then they will be more than ready and able to cope with going in their appropriate year!!!But again…you make the call at the time that is right.
My tip…one decision at a time….and the rest will be easier as you go!!!
Mother of 3 (boys)
I went early, she seems like a bright girl 🙂
I think by mid to late next year you will just *know* whether she is ready or not. My daughter is a March bub, as are all of her little Mother's Group friends. About half are starting school next year when they will be turning 5, the other half are being held back a year. One of the little girls, at the beginning of this year her mother was adamant she would not be ready to start next year. But I kept reminding her at that point that it was still a whole year away. As it turns out, she has done a lot of developing & maturing over the last 6-8 months & is definitely ready for school next year. So my advice is to by all means get little Lacey into a pre-school program & see how she is going in a years time as to whether she'll be ready to start school the following year.
I hope the vegemite on toast & water help get rid of that hangover pronto! xx
I agree with i-mumma. No need to decide now, I think you'll soon know as it will become more obvious.
I've just started my 3yo in a preschool program, she's thriving. I still don't know what year I'll send her to school though, I'll wait and see closer to the time.
Just when you think the tough days of broken sleep and all the baby stuff are over, things like *this* hit and you realise that parenting is going to be hard forever!
I have boys, and will be holding them back so they start school when they are five. I like the idea of them being the older ones rather than the younger.
My biggest starts school next year and will be five and a half. I still have some concerns about his readiness social-wise, but I'm hoping school will help (and there's still three months until he starts for him to mature that little bit more).
Girls tend to be a bit different, from observation. And I think you, as the parent, know best. Trust your instincts, and know you can always change your mind – nothing is set in stone!
For what it's worth… I'm an April baby and I started school before I turned 5. I was always on the younger end of the class but, academically, I did fine (better than fine, if I'm being honest 😉 I didn't go to kindy or daycare before starting school either.
I haven't had to face this step with my own son yet, so I don't have any pearls of wisdom. Following your gut instinct is generally a good idea though! Hopefully you'll get a 'sign' one way or the other! Good luck 😉
I have a friend going through this at the moment with her April baby. She is sending her a year late. But I think that more had to do with the places available st the school they wanted to send her to?
I am so thankful for a August baby. No decision to be made! And she's not allowed to go to schoolies!
I was a June baby and I started early. I was absolutely fine, did well academically and socially all through school. However, I was a late entrant in to the puberty stuff, which did affect me negatively. Also being 17 while everyone else was 18 did affect me socially and emotionally, both at high school and Uni. Starting Uni at 17 was not something I would like my kids to do.
I think it really depends on each child, and you also need to look to the future, not just “is she ready now?”. Looking back, I wish I had been a little older rather than a lot younger.
My youngest is a May baby and I will be holding him back, I think.
Parenting is constantly throwing s new challenges, isn't it?!
My head hurts too.
You don't need to make up your mind yet re Lacey. Wait and see how she develops. You can still enrol her at school and meet with the principal when the time comes and see what happens. There is no rush to start, no race to finish first, so it is all ok. Each child is different. I have 3 kids at school (1 more to go!) and in all their classes there are children who vary greatly in age (more than a year in some cases). One mum-friend has two March babies – she held one back but when it was the daughter's turn she put her in early – they were just different kids.
The only time it might matter is during sports (teams are based on age), or when they all turn 18 (who is first or last to be able to get into a nightclub).
Preschool is great, but if you need those 3-4 days do that, you don't need to add stress – do what works.
Have a sunny day!
Don't worry about age Telle, just think about what Lacey needs. Being a teacher there are a lot of demands in the NSW curriculum in Kindy now and I think the kids need more opportunity for play. When are her friends going? Social skills play a much bigger role and how independent she is, how well she separates from you – those things will have a huge impact more so than the academic side. Perhaps try for the preschool program, but there is still plenty of time to decide and little ones can all of a sudden blossom when we least expect it.
My son was an April baby and started Prep as is normal. We ended up repeating him and he did Prep again. It was the best thing we ever did. He is now in year 2 and as happy as ever. School is a breeze and he was so much more advanced emotionally and socially after thats second year of prep.
I was a mid April child & i was 4 & half when i started school. I didn't seem to have too many issues.
If her preschool teachers think she's ready, i would send her when she's ready. I think holding Lacey back might be worse, as she'll be bored.
Good luck with the decision x
PS – totally off topic, i've just noticed there is another i-mumma in the blogosphere. (I better get myself a new online identity to avoid confusion)
Two weeks ago I went out with my friend. We do a big night out once a year. Ugh, the hangover. Which is why we only do it once a year!!
One glass of wine and I'm a mess, can't sleep it off anymore with a nearly 3 year old jumping on me!
A few people have asked me what school JP is going to go to, and have we his name down! To be honest I hadn't thought about it, I just assumed he would go to our local public school.
Being from the UK, the school system is different there. I started big school in September when I was 4, and there was a choice of 2 schools!? Here there is too much choice, public, private, mixed or single sex…OMG better start thinking about it – I've got 2 years!!
I'm not much help Chantelle, but its nice to know I'm not the only one with a parenting headache!
Rosie
http://atinybitofmarvellous.blogspot.com
I have seen children some struggle with attending two different prior-to-school programs, they generally prefer one and that makes the days at the other that bit more difficult. I think it comes down to how adaptable and social they are. If a child is a creature of habit, strongly prefers routine and familiarity then maybe just one program would be best.
As for school, you know Lacey best. Trust your judgment. Though if it were me, I wouldn't be making any decisions just yet. And if you are in a position where you do have to decide now, decide that she will go sooner and then delay it if necessary 🙂
I agree with Christie. you can delay if necessary and you know Lacey best. I will most likely be sending Millar early because I think he's ready and I'm sure I will be too.
I am an April baby and was always the youngest in my class. I turned out alright. I think. I don't remember struggling at all. Academically I was always in front. Height wise I was always behind. Still am.
The kinder Millar goes to next year is 4 3 hour days. I like this very much.
If you don't have to decide now, then don't make that decision. Like the other wise ladies have said “you'll know”. A. was absolutely desperate to start school and was probably ready both socially and academically when she was 4 and a half, midway through (qld) kindy. Being a sole child she desperately needed the added stimulation and interaction that I couldn't provide.
Three little words.
Trust your instincts.
We held our now almost 14yr old son back as he is a January baby. So he started school at 6yrs old,And it was one of the best decisions we have ever made. He is smart, so he would have managed academically, but socially and emotionally he would have been left behind. He is now thriving. At the time, we were the only parents that we knew that made the decision to hold him back a year & we coped a lot of flack from “well-meaning” friends & family. But having seen him manage the transition into secondary school with such ease & confidence; I would do it all over again. I'm glad I trusted my instincts.
I'm an April baby and was younger than everyone at school. It was never an issue, except at Schoolies. Ohh, how I cursed my parents because I was 17 and everybody else was out drinking! I'm sure she will be 100% FINE, regardless of when she starts – but if you do end up sending her earlier, just be prepared for some dummy spits in Year 12 🙂 xxx
My bday is in may and I was sent at 4.5 and to be honest I hated it. I was always the youngest. Would have prefered mum to keep me back. Thats just my opinion.
I was an April baby & got sent early – so was 4 turning 5 when I started Kindy.
I've never had a problem with it & have found that I'm abit more mature than other girls my age (24) – I think it's because nearly all of my friends are older.
My brother was a January baby & got sent early, but it didnt work as well for him. I think maybe because he was abit more sensitive than I, and being younger than all the other boys was just another thing that affected his confidence. He also played sports that were divided by age i.e u/11 etc, so he wasn't in the same team as the boys in his year which made it hard.
I think it really depends on your daughter & what her personality is like, and whether you think she will be independent enough to take it in her stride.
I started kindy in NSW when I was 4 turning 5 and then moved to qld where there was no kinder, so skipped up into grade 1. I have been forever grateful that my parents didn't pull me out and make me wait a year. I finished school at 16 and started uni at 17 and it was great ot have a little more time to faff around with my life when I wanted to – i.e. in my late teens etc (for the record, faffing for me meant switching uni courses a few times and going to lots of soirees!)
Regarding the two preschools – this shouldn't be a problem. My Sproglette's daycare has kids in the preschool room who choof off to do two days at an actual preschool – so they are essentially attending two preschools. Doesn't seem to have an effect on them!
It's hard isn't it. Trust your gut and don't make a decision until you have to.
I was the youngest in my year and while I had no problems academically, socially was a different issue.
I have a May babe. I had always planned to send her this year. After all she could do everything on the school entry requirement list and she was with in the birthday cut-off. Then late last year her pre-school teacher had a word in my ear. She thought that another year of preschool might be better for her socially and for her self confidence. While she was an outgoing friendly kid who is very bright, she didn't have much faith in herself.
I truly believe that this year at pre-school has been my greatest gift to her. She has far more faith in herself. Socially and physically. She is a leader among her group and is understanding and empathetic.
I have also worked with teens. That's where the age and emotional difference really becomes apparent. While I don't need for her to excel, I want to set her up with the best possible start.
we're sending our little one to the local Montessori where they start the term after they turn 3 – which when we started looking at it seemed really too young but now I look at her and think she will be well and truly ready for it – but it is full time which freaks me out. But if your daughter is in daycare already I would say she's cross over pretty well – but as everyone else has said give it a go and see what happens. Good luck.
I was sent early 4.5 but made to repeat year 2, I am very happy to have been kept back that year,
This is why we are letting Isabella stay at home next year even though she turns 5 in the end of July, I much rather her be fully ready then send & she has to repeat.
We have an April baby too, she is now 5. We kept her back. I know she is she academically ready for school but emotionally, she can grow some more, and would be more ready for school next year. We would rather she be one of the older girls when she is a teenager and having to make important decisions…..
But now we have moved to Hong Kong and it does not matter any longer as they do things differently.
Good luck with your decision, it is a very personal one.
I went early, I hated being the youngest, I've held my daughter back, she did have a few health issues which have since rectified, and in honesty she was probably ready.
Only you can decide what is right, but think beyond the first year of school, think about the first year of high school too.
Good luck, I'm sure whatever you decided to do will be right for your daughter.
Hi Chantelle,
I have just found your blog through Karla at http://ironmumkarla.blogspot.com/ and thought I would pop in to say hi. Fingers crossed your orientation went well. For what it's worth, your daughter will love going to kindy/pre school 3 or 4 days a week. My daughter was more than ready for all of the stimulation and structured activities at the same age. Good luck with your decision.
Kel x
My 'threenager' is a July baby and in WA the cutoff is jun 30. So he will be an oldie. WA has kindy From 4(2 days a week – not compulsory), pre-school from 5 (5days a week) and Then school from 6. His daycare is Emillio Reggio (Montessori like) and they have a kindy program. Next year I will have hin 3 days at daycare-kindy, then year after I plan 2 days at local kindy and 2 days at daycare-kindy. I can't work with kindy hours… I hope he will cope as he is fine with 3 long days of daycare now. I think if they are used to daycare it is easier to transition to kindy.
Good luck, dani
Getting tipsy from now and then can't hurt….that much 🙂 The tough part is taking care of your kids the next day.
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I am a June baby and my parents sent me to school early. I did fine academically but I do think that it affected me in later years. Think around 16 when all my friends had their licences and then everyone turned 18 and was going out in town. It was a lonely time when all close friends were out on weekends (and nursing hangovers) and I was stuck at home. I also was 17 when I started university, but was unable to attend many uni social outings as was underage. Just something else for a parent to think about!
I only have boys, but I know mine never would have been ready for school at 4.5 yrs. But they say girls are more mature socially? I'm an April baby and I was 4 when I started primary school, and no dramas there. In fact, most of my girlfriends were young too, and they were top of the class. I guess it's up to the individual.
All of this does my head in too. I have 3 boys, 5, 3 and 1, and it feels like a game of chess trying to meet everyone's needs and line them up to get ready for school.
Oh Chantelle, I'm hearing you. I'm in a right pickle at present as my eldest will be 4 in January and I'd like him to go to a preschool just around the corner, but we're still on the waiting list for it. His current one is a corporate child care and they also follow the curriculum. But I'm currently going through a redundancy and there is much uncertainty about exactly what I'll be doing next year, therefore he may not even have a spot for preschool next year. Aaaarrrgghhh, it DOES make your head hurt. Thankfully being a January babe, he will start school when he's just turned 5. Though I don't want to think about our July babe, no doubt I'll keep him back til his 5 1/2. Good luck with your decision making, whichever way you choose, it will be the right way :o)
as I teacher, girls are usually ready more than boys of april birthdays, but then again, I've met some very 'young' april girls who struggle in the first year…
its a tough decision.
my rule of thumb is if they have been a social baby/toddler, dont mind being away from mum for long periods of time, can happily play with same age peers without melting down into tantrum at the smallest thing, and is used to a structured environment like day care, they should be fine. If they have been at home that whole time and haven't spent any real time away from mum in a daycare situation, then I would be holding off.
Hi,
My daughter is a May baby and she started prep this year in Melbourne. Here the cut off is April 30 so I did not have much choice but I don't think she would have been ready last year. This year the transition has been seamless and socially she was ready to cope with all the new interactions. I think as a few others have mentioned it is the social and emotional stage they are at that is important.
My son is 3.5 and he currently does 2 days per week daycare(with a kinda program) and 2 half days 3 yr old kinda. He likes both and has different friends at each place so it keeps it interesting for him also. He is a Feb baby so will start school just as he turns 5 but being a second child seems to interact completely differently to my daughter.
Hope this helps!
Thank you so much everyone for taking the time to comment. All your feedback has been such food for thought. My mind is still ticking over as to what we'll do, but I just know that we'll know what's right when the time comes. Thank you. x
I asked my Mum about this on the weekend (about why I did year one twice). I always figured I must've been hard to teach, you know, a slow learner. Turns out the teachers didn't think I was mature enough for year 2. My birthday is in November. I was a year older then all my friends, but it didn't scar me for life or anything.
I think Blythe assessed the situation very well. When you start a child at school you are starting them on a long long journey. You want to be sure you are not setting them up for academic or social problems in the later years. Whether we want to admit it or not I think we sometimes make the decision on when to start our child at school just as much according to what suits US as what suits THEM.
I'm thinking this over myself at the moment, also having an April baby. Ridiculous time of year to be born. We are changing preschools which breaks my heart because I love her current school and she has now started to talk about specific friends she has there. But it's too far to drive so change we must. She'll be doing a three day program. I was thinking send her to kindergarten when she is 4 but everyone I talk to seems to think it is better to start them later. I don't know!