Life Isn’t A Dress Rehearsal.

It’s easy to forget to enjoy the journey and not just focus on the destination. I’ll put my hand up and tell you I’m guilty of that. I daydream about the clothes I’ll wear, the way I’ll feel and even more so what I’ll achieve when I get to my goal weight. “Life will begin when I’m thin,” I tell myself.

The funny thing is, that I’m living it all right now. What did I think this was? Was I living some pretend life until I got to the real thing? It’s easy to think that this is some sort of dress rehearsal, and live life as if it’s just a practice run.

As I did up my jeans last week and had that moment of pride, my mind did wander off and think about the future. “Well, this is good,” I thought, “But won’t it be even better when these jeans don’t fit at all?”

The pride I have for myself is fleeting, and the self-depricating thoughts quickly creep back in. “You should have lost more by now,” I tell myself, “It’s embarrassing that you got yourself to this size anyhow.” And the pride is gone.

Between last week and now I read something that brought tears to my eyes and a lump in my throat. Geneen Roth, author of Women, Food & God, wrote, “Change happens not by hatred but by love.”

That sentence has been playing over in my head all week. I’ve been hating myself into change, hating myself into doing better, hating myself into losing mediocre amounts of weight.

I do wish that I’d lost more weight than I have already… but hating myself isn’t going to make the weight come off any quicker, or make the journey anymore enjoyable… in fact it will probably do quite the opposite.

There’s a lot of lessons for me to learn along this weight loss journey. Although I’m losing weight at a slower pace than I’d desire {which has everything to do with me not working hard enough and nothing else}, I’m definitely gaining life lessons. Life isn’t about the final destination, which for me was being thin, but about the journey along the way.

15 thoughts on “Life Isn’t A Dress Rehearsal.”

  1. This is so true. It reminds me of times I look at photos of my younger self and I remember that at that age I hated myself and didn't live a full life because of my crap self image, yet all I see in that photo now is someone whose figure I would kill to have!! I think of all I could have achieved if I had have had more confidence back then. So I try to live for the now instead of the maybes,like you're saying. “try” being the key word. I'm not quite there yet.

  2. Well said!! It's funny, I have often thought that being thinner will make everything better – but it is possible to be thin and miserable!! So maybe it is taking a little longer than you (and I) had hoped but the lessons we learn along the way will hopefully make as thin and happy and appreciative of all the hard work!!

  3. so well said… i was thinking about this the other night… about how many years I have lost to my eating disorder (half my life) and poor self esteem… and how i'm always waiting for my “real” life to start, but the truth is.. this is my REAL life! I wish it was easy to just start enjoying myself and “living” my life the way I would if I was X amount of weight… It is so horrible what poor self esteem can do!

    It is so sad that we can't love ourselves for who we are NOW!

    big hugs to you telle. Just remember that we are SO, so, so much more than the size of our jeans!!!

    xx

  4. While I read your fab post about living in the moment I am thinking “Oh wow, how cool will it be to fit into my goal jeans again. I'll be feeling so much better about myself”. Crazy, huh?

    I probably need to reread your post daily to remind myself it's not the outside, it's the inside that matters.

    And anyway, think about the money we'll save if we don't have to buy new skinny minny jeans!!

    xx

    http://biancawordley.blogspot.com

  5. Thanks for the reminder. I am so guilty of this! It's sad how much time is wasted not being in the moment, but being somewhere else – the past or future. Good on you for fitting into those jeans xxx

  6. I'm a believer in focussing in the moment, the now, seeing what you've got to be happy, thankful for right now. You don't know the future and what it may bring, you can't see tomorrow and even if you could, you may not be able to change it.

    My miscarriages have taught me to revel in the moment, each of those pregnancies brought me happiness for only a tiny amount of time but they brought me happiness, the time frame is unimportant.

    Yes you could have lost more weight by now but focus on the fact that you've lost SOME weight.

    x

  7. oh my goodness, you are soooo gorgeous please don't think those thoughts!!!!!!! And you're working from home and raising a little person – that is a lot on your plate.

    I lost 30kgs on WW and really do believe it's the best way to lose weight – slow and steady. You keep it off and have better habits – except when you're pg. I'm hopeless at healthy eating when pg!

    so glad your jeans did up! it's the little things that matter 🙂

    Corrie:)

  8. Ahhh, Shiny Chan,
    You are doing great honey.
    Stop worrying about your body, it's only thing thing that carries around your gorgeous face and your beautiful soul.
    I'll be the same, losing weight at turtles pace. Like you said, it IS a journey, and it's better to enjoy that journey and do it slowly, than end up hating the journey, because it's too hard. We'll get there though.
    xoxo

  9. its so easy to get stuck in that trap of feeling sorry for ourselves and waiting for some future moment when work will be better, scales will drop, skin will glow – its crazy that it is so hard for us to look around and see how amazing this moment is. this post just made me reel myself in, stop feeling down and put a smile on my face, thanks…

  10. So true. We are running our life premiere as we speak (and no time for dress rehearsals)! I've just heard about this amazing book, worth reading from what I hear: The Only Diet There Is – Sondra Ray. Give it a whirl! It's changed my step-daughter's life!

  11. Geneen Roth is so right – you really need to be kind to yourself first off. Hating on yourself is so counterproductive and a complete waste of time.
    It is always good to remind ourselves to live in the moment and not just wait for a time in the future 🙂
    Heidi xo

  12. I have been reading your blog for a little while now and really love doing so. This post is so awesome and so TRUE! I think its a big factor in holding me back- so much hatred and very little love.
    Thanks for putting this out there.
    Jess

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