Letter to Lacey: Four years old

Dear Lacey,

Four years ago today, I gave birth to a little baby girl. You. It feels like a lifetime ago, but I can remember it like it was yesterday. The final moments that it was just Dadda and I. And then we were parents. Just like that.

I thought I had it all worked out. I really did. I thought I was going to be the best mum in the world. Over time I learned, I’m not. I try my best, and I couldn’t possibly love you anymore. Somehow, I think my best is just fine by you. You’re my little shadow, always content in my company.

I could never have imagined I’d have a child with such personality and with so much energy and sassiness. Oh, you’re so sassy. Hand on the hip, talking back to Mama and Dadda kinda sassy. The other day I overheard a women talking about her son who was the same age as you, “I wish he had half the personality he does.” I sighed. I knew what she meant about having a child bursting with personality, but I wouldn’t change you. Too much personality can never be a bad thing. Exhausting yes, but I always wanted a confident child. Something I never really was when I was younger.

The other morning you came to me ready to go out. You’d brushed your curly hair until it was wispy and frizzy, and put bright pink lipstick on your top lip and purple on the bottom. You’d swished blue eyeshadow over your eyelids, and put big clip on earrings on your ears. On your feet were your sparkliest high heels. You were ready to go. Where? I don’t know. I can’t even remember where all those bits and pieces came from, or who’s to blame. You like your girly things. I really am raising a princess.

Our first few years weren’t easy. You didn’t sleep and still don’t. I juggled full-time work from the time you were 6 weeks old, as well as looking after you full-time. And your fiesty personality sometimes had it’s challenges too. You loved a challenge and have tantrum-ed for hours on end, never giving up. Sometimes it’s been hard.

I feel like we’re heading into good times, and tantrums {for the most part} are behind us. I’m sure there are new challenges ahead. I love the times now when we snuggle together and have conversations about the world. You make funny jokes and I laugh, even when you tell me the same joke for the 8th time. You’ll see something, like I often do, and want to take photos of it. I love that you see the beauty in the every day. That makes my heart sing.

Don’t tell anyone, but you have a boyfriend. You’ve been best friends for the past year and the feeling is mutual. It’s about the cutest thing I ever did see. Nehimiah is his name. The good thing is, you think kissing is positively gross. Phew.

As I write this you’re lying beside me in bed, your little body snuggled up against mine. There is all the space of the bed, but you want to be touching me, always. I know I may often sigh and complain about the constant noise and how tired I am. But it’s all worth it Lacey, and more. Being a mum to you is a blessing and a joy. Nothing makes me happier than your little laugh and your big smile.

Often you’ll ask me, “Are you happy mum?”
To which I reply, “Yes, Lacey.”
“Can you show me your happy face?” you ask.

Lacey, I wish I could show you my happy heart. It’s filled with love. Thank you.

Mama xx

Comments

  1. Melissa says

    Beautiful. I'm a new reader, first time comment maker and brand new mum.
    My daughter is three months old and my heart practically bursts with love when I look at her.
    Your letter to Lacey just made my eyes well up with happy tears. I keep saying that I can't wait until my little girl can hug me back, hold a conversation, joke and dance like a fool with me.
    This post just reminded me to cherish every moment, be grateful for every smile and new experience. To live in the NOW and stop wish our lives together away, because it goes so fast.
    Thank you.

  2. says

    Gorgeous, tears – just a beautiful post & sums up probably every Mumma's feelings – Our beautiful boy turns 4 in a couple of weeks – where did that time go?
    Wouldn't change a thing – life is grand!!

  3. says

    you just made me cry with these last words. i got a boy with that huge personality, too. a challenge…the tantrums.

    but I love him.
    thanx

  4. says

    So lovely, I have happy tears in my eyes reading that.
    Makes me wonder what my little girl will be like when she grows… Already seems to have personality plus and throws tantrums at 7 months!!!

  5. says

    Such a beautiful letter, after reading this, I have decided to write a letter to my daughter each birthday and keep them for her until she has a child of her own!

  6. says

    With teary eyes I say what a beautiful letter. Something that she will cherish, once she's old enough to read it. Every little girl should have a loving mum like you. Lacey is a lucky girl to have you and you are lucky to have her as well. Happy Birthday Ms. Lacey. Enjoy your day. Birthdays are magical at that age.

  7. Kirsty S says

    I just cried… again. Lacey is a very lucky girl… and I know you think you are a very lucky Mama.

  8. says

    Happy Birthday Lacey. Is she having a party? If so, you must share photos. I am currently thinking about Oliver and Felix's birthdays next month.

  9. Anonymous says

    Oh my! That is just too cute. My little girl is now a big girl but we still sit on the sofa and cuddle when she visits. When she was four we used to say she was “four going on forty”! Sounds like your beautiful Lacey is just like my beautiful Zoe was at that age. Continue to enjoy her. :-) Happy Birthday Lacey.

  10. says

    Oh how gorgeous, im sad i dint write letters like that to my children but i did start when they were older and i have a few on my blog for them. My two are 16 and 18 now and cliched as it is, time does go so fast, and Chantelle i have a hard time remembering how they were as little peoplexxxx But how i love the awesome adults they are now! My daughter is also a sassy one and has been since day dot. I remember thinking when she was born, “this girl is going to rip the ribbons out of her hair and pull the lace off her dresses” Enjoy your journey together it is an amazing hard and rewarding job, as all of us mums can attest! Oh, and Happy 4th birthday Laceyxx

  11. says

    Chantelle this is so gorgeous! Made me tear and become excited for when the times comes for me to be a mother. Blessed are you with your little one.

    Happy Birthday Lacey! xx

  12. says

    What a beautiful letter. Something she'll always have to treasure! Blessings and happy birthday to your special little girl!

    Dusty

  13. says

    Your letter to Lacey is just beautiful. As I read it, I realised that aspects of it could have been written by me to my now 5yo daughter. I know sassy! :) Happy 4 years together and Happy Birthday Lacey. xxx

  14. says

    Happy birthday to your lovely little girl. She is growing up so beautifully. I can't believe you're at FOUR already!! Have I been following your blog for three years? Why yes, yes I have. x

  15. Miss Cocoaops says

    What a lovely way to show your daughter how much you love her! My girl is 12 and I cherish every kiss, cuddle and shared time we have together, as they are definitely not as frequent as they used to be. 4 is such a gorgeous age, enjoy it!

  16. says

    A beautiful letter. My big girl (9) was a lot like Lacey by the sounds of it. My little girl (4) is a whole lot of different wonderful. You brought tears to my eyes with your love letter to your little girl.

  17. says

    My younger sister was just like Lacey when she was a baby (except for the fact she loved to sleep haha), even in the looks, the cute blonde curly hair… She was a handful of work to my mom. We could usually see how tired she was.

    Now she's 26 and is one of the best human beings I've ever met. Be sure your baby is going to be a great woman when she grows up :)

  18. says

    Lovely! I am fond of saying when people remind me how fast children grow up—yes they do but for me being a mom just gets better and better. I hope that is true for you and Lacey.

  19. says

    My daughter, who we were told would never be, will turn four this year too. I cannot fathom it. Your every word tugged at my heart. Happy happy birthday to your precious little one!

  20. says

    Happy Birthday Lacey :)

    I feel like I am behind you a year! My little Pearl is 2 & 3/4 and has been a handful from the get go. Tantrums from 6 mths(yes that's right) no sleep for first 7 mths (we only turned it around after going to Ellen Barron a God Send!)She has a personality like no other – a live wire that's for sure & no one I know can know what is it like to have my Pearl… but she sounds similar to your Lacey.

    She has a love of all things pretty, only ever wants to wear skirts, dresses or tutus and must have lipstick on each morning with pretty necklaces too. Pearl can be very independent and stubborn but I think later on she will grow into a strong self asserted women like your Lacey – no one will dare push them around – we will be proud of them for sure :)

    http://www.amumassanityandstyle.blogspot.com.au/

  21. says

    You write such beautiful letters Chantelle!! They will be wonderful memories for you and Lacey when she's older.

    Happy 4th Birthday Lacey!

  22. says

    That is so gorgeous – how cute is Lacey! If she is that determined and sassy now…watch out world because Lacey will rock when she is older :)
    Hope that she holds onto her gorgeous personality forever.

  23. says

    Just teared a little bit, thinking how sweet life is, yes, those exact words I could write about my own princess who is only 3 but it just feels like it was only yesterday she was born.

    life if amazing!

  24. says

    I read this while sitting at work and tears welled up in my eyes. I have 2 daughters 15 and 17 and cannot believe how quickly time has passed. I can truly say that I love being a mum….It is the best thing that ever happened to me.

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