The internet

The internet is a funny thing. It’s allowed us to believe that anything is possible, and to get the news faster than newspapers can print it. Like seriously, I knew about Bruce Jenner having a car accident faster than I ever needed to know that stuff. And I shouldn’t even really know who on earth Bruce Jenner is, but I do. I do. I know too much. I love the internet, but I also find it a soul-sucking, time-waste from time-to-time. And then I fall back in love with it and things are good. Again.

You know those days when you don’t have a minute to spare, but you pop onto Facebook, and you’re clicking things and then more things and then suddenly you’re knee-deep in details about your cousin’s roommate’s new boyfriend and you’re thinking things that you probably don’t even need to know. But then that stuff is in your brain, taking the place of things that you actually should know, like WHERE ON EARTH ARE THE CAR KEYS? OR WHAT SHOULD I MAKE FOR DINNER TONIGHT?

It happens quickly, without you even knowing. It’s your cousin’s birthday, so you pop over to her profile to wish her Happy Birthday, and then you see her roommate left a message too. It’s that roommate that had that wildly crazy dating story, so of course you click over to see if she’s dating and what her relationship status is… and you see the new photo of the boyfriend in the profile… and there you are… stalking someone that you never knew you needed to know about, who you probably will never meet and you’re never going to get those 15 minutes of your life back.

IF ONLY YOU’D JUST SENT A BIRTHDAY CARD INSTEAD.

I’m a sucker for click bait. The stuff that makes you click stuff you didn’t need to know about, but you just can’t resist. Like this one.

Screen Shot 2015-02-10 at 9.58.59 am

I see that and I try to scroll past. And I do, but then I wonder… WHAT IF I NEVER KNOW WHAT RIHANNA LOOKED LIKE AFTERWARDS?

They said, ‘No words’ and that means it’s huge right? BIG.

So I scroll back up and I click. Because I can’t be that mother at school this afternoon who doesn’t know what Rihanna looked like in her after photo. I JUST CAN’T.

So I click. Oops, I already said that. And this is what I see.

nrm_1423515562-rihanna-after

No words.

Except I have words. What? Am I missing something? Did she just take her hair elastic out?

And there goes another 15 minutes of my life. Imma need therapy. Or an intervention.

And now I can go on with my day, once I find the car keys and figure out what’s for dinner.

58 thoughts on “The internet”

  1. I share this problem. By the way, I clicked on your image, dying to find out what Rihanna looked liked afterwards… now I am reading about something much more profound, and relevant to my actual life. I really need to turn off the Internet when I work. I am such a sucker for the rabbit hole.

  2. you prolly *don’t* need to know who bruce jenner is, but he wasn’t always a ‘celebrity tragic’…… in 1976, he won the gold medal in the decathlon (for the u.s.) and set a new world record. at that moment in time, taking the gold in any soviet-dominated sport was a big deal, no matter what country, and those athlete were hailed as such. bruce was an earnest athlete (remember, this was back when only amateurs were allowed to compete, no sponsorships, no paid contracts. these people had to buy their own shoes and clothes and equipment. GASP.), and an american sports hero back in the day.

    some part of me is sad that no one can remember this stuff about bruce jenner, but the other part of me knows full well that his tv celebrity is his own doing…. and that makes me sad all over again.

    xoxo

    • You said what I was going to say…only probably better 🙂 All of it.

      Truly sad that there are people alive who will only ever know him from his association with the Lardassians…

  3. Ahhh click bait. Such a pain in my butt. I check the comments now. Someone helpful usually fills me in on what it is without me giving up a click. But if I must, I grudgingly head over and get off there as fast as I can. Haha.

  4. thank god you posted the after pic cos curiosity would have got the better of me. I think, oh, i’ll just sit down and check my feed for ten minutes and then i’ll attend to the other way more important stuff like housework in ten. An hour later …

  5. I’m a sucker for that stuff like: “you’ll never guess what this puppy did when it saw water for the first time!” I have to know. What did the puppy do? It did nothing. It had a damn bath, thats what it did. I hate the internet sometimes.

  6. I end up on people’s holidays or weddings on Instagram…one time Rob asked me a question and I was all like “shoosh, I’m in Positano!”

    • I’ve done the same thing. Well not Positano, but couldn’t engage in a conversation because I was doing something super irrelevant, like checking out the decor on a 2 year old’s birthday party on Pinterest that I don’t even know.

      Seriously.

  7. This sort of thing is what makes the internet go around and around. As much as I hate the click bait, I do find mild comfort in being given the option to click or not. It’s the automated videos playing and the graphic stuff you might have chosen to avoid that bothers me. I like to stick my head in the sand and avoid the sad things on the news (My TV only does kiddie channels) because all the children suffering follow me to bed that night and then I end up dreaming their story, only in my dreams they all have my kids faces. I’m not sure if that makes me crazy or not!

    Oh and thank goodness you posted the after pic, or I might have had to Google it. 🙂

  8. I have this same problem. My husband gets so frustrated that i can’t remember details that he has told me or what is going on in the real news, but i can tell him all the celeb gossip. Maybe I need to use the Internet for different things…

  9. Sucks me in every stinkin’ time. And then I rush back to my Profile to check if it was one of those dodgy sites that then post to my Wall and make all my friends click too, just because I did and therefore it must be good. Bad, bad cycle.

  10. that’s the reason i deactivated my facebook account 3+ years ago because i felt like my time(lots of it) was wasted looking at somebody else’ life. i never miss facebook. ever. well, i love instragram thanks to #fmsphotoaday! thanks chantelle!

  11. I get angry at click bait, but I can’t look away. I try to be sneaky about it and read the comments instead of clicking the link. If the comments are all like “OH MY GOD CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS!!!” I can’t resist and I’ll click. But usually there’ll be a good samaritan who’ll say something like, “The baby’s name is Moon Unit” or “She changed into a black tux. So what?” and then I can feel triumphant and superior in my decision not to click.

    Of course, I waste more time reading the comments than the actual article but at least they didn’t get my click! WINNER!! I think…?

  12. I totally do this every day! And you do get sucked in. Into really meaningless stuff, that doesn’t really matter. But I also find I sometimes need as I call it “bla boa” stuff sometimes to unwind and destress. So in some ways, it’s good, but a time waster? Totally!

  13. So true, Facebook is like that. I’ve stopped looking at it quite so often, and spend more time with feedly, so that I can read the things I’m actually interested in. 🙂

  14. I’ve been conned into clicking on these links so many times over the last couple of days..some are wow, most of them are like ‘what the hell did I just watch’ kind of thing :-/

  15. I never get caught up in click bait like this…….. I’m too busy compulsively reading and making comments on all the photos posted on the photo pages I belong to….. and commenting on the comments that are left on my blogs.. and commenting on the blogs of the people who commented on my blogs… sometimes I get so caught up in this cycle that I forget to post my own photos… hehehe…. and where DID the time go… LOVE IT …. I do get into looking up sites posted by my blogging friends and other photographers… but that’s another story….. as is Google… I’m a comment addict xxxxx

  16. Sometimes I can feel my brain leaking out my ears after too much facebook and internet. I reckon I have lost years… I’ve tried to be stronger and I did avoid the mutant pig the other day… but just out of curiosity, did anyone look? What was it??

  17. I freaking hate click-bait! I’ve been sucked in so many times now that I have had to ban myself. If a friend posts a link then I’ll check it out, but if I’m scrolling through and see a page like Buzzfeed or whoever post something like that I’ve made a rule not to click. The bloody FB trending stries ticker in the sidebar though is a new kind of clickbait that I am going to have to ban myself from soon. I have way too much stuff to get done and ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat!

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