106 thoughts on “I don’t care.”

  5. I care very much I got to read this…I feel it was an honor to read this and swallow your views. Oh why oh why can’t we all feel this way? Would we be boring?…NO, we would all be loving and bright. Thank you so much. I care very much that I don’t care…:;)

  7. I just care that the people that surround me know I love them and that I just want for them what I have – opportunities, a warm bed, food in my belly and lots of cuddles. I could care less about all the ‘stuff’ that supposedly defines us.

  12. My son had a new boy in his class and I asked him about the new boy, knowing he was the same colour of the doll in the pic, not one word was said about his colour, he told me lots of other stuff about him, he likes computers, has a sister, who he sat next to etc. Kids just don’t see it as important, fabulous!

    • I’m really open with Lacey about everything, so I don’t avoid talking about things – I open the conversation up about anything to a level that she understands. We’ve had conversations about different races, girls loving girls, and boys loving boys, we’ve talking about disabled people, fat and thin… but we talk about it in a way that’s normal. That we’re all adding light and shade to this world…

      Off to read the article. Thank you.

      • Just realised my comment seemed a bit negative. I wrote it too quickly. I was just fascinated to read about the impact of not ‘drawing attention to’ race. Not making a fuss about racial differences seems like a good idea, but it seems we need to focus on ‘don’t make a fuss, but don’t ignore’.

  20. Great post Chantelle – I feel the same way. Pity there aren’t more people who feel this way but I have to say there are more who are becoming accepting of things that they would have scoffed at 20 years ago …. (like giving gay boys and girls a hard time for coming out – especially if you live where I do in the Western Suburbs of Sydney). But now it is much much better and I am really happy about that.

  22. I have dark skin (I was born in Australia but have Indian parents). My husband is Australian too, but he doesn’t have dark skin. Our little girl has dark hair, dark eyes and white skin.
    I don’t think she notices the differences in our skin colours… She is a very talkative almost-3 year old, but the subject has never come up.

  25. I am married to a man from Africa and the amount of rubbish he, I and the kids have to put up with it makes my heart happy to see there are people in this world who can see everyone just as being a person and not tag them…. I wish more people were like you 🙂

    • My brother is married to a girl born in Australia but with African parents. Since I have come to know her, I have been absolutely shocked at the racism and horrible comments she puts up with on a daily basis. It makes me worry for their beautiful little 8 month old daughter.

  26. Lovely post. Our 3 children see the world the same way as Lacey and are so happy they do! What do I care about? I care that Lacey and our children keep those values! 🙂 Now that our oldest is in middle school and had several years of History class, she knows about different races, cultures and orientation struggles. She doesn’t understand why people would ever be treated differently. History saddens her but makes her appreciate what some have had to overcome. We are so lucky that our children get to grow up in a society where all are equal – or at least she knows they should be!

  30. seriously every time i read your posts {i think your reading my mind}
    i feel very much the same, life is a journey and to be explored and everyone seems
    to have their judgements on what others think or do…….. {it is there life to be lived}
    you are an inspiration miss chantelle, don’t ever stop being you xx

  35. I bought my daughter a ‘brown’ baby born many years ago, not to make a statement, they all looked the same in the shop lighting! She has never commented on it’s skin colour.

  40. When my little guy was three he used to go to riding for the disabled for a quick trot on the ponies because his Pa was a volunteer and could take him for a turn while everyone else was having a cuppa. He always used to see a young man who was severely disabled. He was in a hi tech wheelchair, had little control over his arms and wore a bib as he often had his mouth open. The only question my little man ever asked me about him was ‘Why is he always smiling?’…..it made my heart ache with pride that he saw beyond all those other ‘things’ and saw only the happiness a day at the ponies could give. To us all.

  41. Beautifully said, Chantelle. I am a (very) white, freckly Aussie. My husband was born in Pakistan, and has beautiful brown skin. When our daughter was about 2yo (now 10), her and I were watching Serena Williams playing at the Australian Open tennis, on the TV. Out of nowhere, she said to me, “Mummy, that lady has a chocolate face, and chocolate arms and legs!” She seemed amazed by this. I said to her, “Who else do you know that might have a chocolate face?” She looked at me like I was crazy, and when I said, “Daddy?”, it was like a revelation. She had the most gorgeous smile, and said, “Yeah, you’re right, he does!” She had never noticed the differences between Dad and Mum, and that is the beauty of innocence.

  43. Children are taught colour. My great-niece, who is 4, told me that I should use sunblock on my son’s skin. That I shouldn’t let him get so tanned. When I told her he was tanned because he was half Chinese, my great-niece answered “Chinese is yummy, Mummy makes it for dinner”. No need to explain race to a child who does not see the difference.

    http://iliska-dreams.blogspot.com.au/

  50. Thanks so much for your words of wisdom! My beautiful son James is not put down for his skin colour, but he is certainly bullied for his sexual preference. I am his proud mother. He is in the most committed relationship I have observed and now is engaged to his partner and will marry as soon as he is allowed to in Australia!

  52. This is a really beautiful post. Thank you for sharing and expressing your views.
    I was taught, at school, that the laws are supposed to progress as society’s morals change. That being the case, I do not understand why our politicians do not allow the laws progress to update what I think (at least I hope) that society believes.
    Maybe I have oversimplified it, but I do not see why the issue of allowing homosexual marriage should be complex.

  54. I totally agree with everything said in your post, apart from the fact that my children have noticed that people have differences. My message to them is always that we should celebrate those differences. My children are aged 11, 6, 4 and 2, and I am already trying to teach that people can look different, speak differently and believe in different things. I try to teach them that we live in a multicultural society and that different nationalities only help to enrich our country. My children also know(although they may not quite get the meaning of)sometimes ladies have ladies for partners and sometimes men have men and that whoever you love, love itself is always a wonderful thing. They know, too, that I have no chosen religion, but that I greatly respect those who do, as long as that religion is not forced down my throat and does not threaten the free society we live in.(Equality of the sexes is also a strong message in our household!)
    My children do like to point out when dolls look like them, and tend to lean towards those dolls, but they also like dolls that are different, and unlike any other. I think that’s wonderful. I tell them all the time that life would be pretty boring if we were all the same! I think that often that’s part of the problem. People tend to fear what they can’t understand and sometimes react with derision or straight out aggression. I really wish our schools could focus on more multicultural teachings, including religions other than Christianity, so our children could grow into more informed adults. Once into high school, tolerance of sexual choices should also have more focus. Nothing annoys my moral compass more than intolerance, be it over race, religion, skin colour or body type!

    • I think this is the way to do it. It’s been shown that being ‘colourblind’, i.e. not mentioning race at all can lead to children growing into more racist adults, rather than less. As well as that, it totally invalidates the struggles that people of races other than white have gone through in the past, struggles that really need to be acknowledged by everyone. Go Kelly, haha 🙂

  57. It just reminded me of something that happened quite a few years ago when my daughter was in year 4 or 5.
    She’d been telling us for a while about this kid who ran SOOOOO fast.
    So we’re at assembly one day and she says “that kid, that kid there” (theres only 500 kids in assembly), which kid? “that one there, the one with the hat” (again…500 hats)
    “THERE sitting on the end of that row there.
    Seriously, this boy was African black, and she never once used that to identify him.
    kudos babe 🙂

  58. Beautiful post. I care about being a good, kind and compassionate person, and teaching my children the same. The world is a better place because of those people who are kind and generous and loving, not for the things on your terrific “I don’t care” list.

  59. Oooh, given the email I just sent you, I am hoping it can be what people DO care about. Do you wonder if it’s because people do care about the things you’ve listed that there is intolerance. How do we get people to care about things that can improve our collective lot in life, and not to care about these kinda things? Hmmm. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately – clearly.

  61. What a beautiful post. Thank you. In so many ways I hate that in the UK we have so many “anti-discrimination” laws…. it makes me very sad that successive governments feel that, as a country, we need to protect certain sectors of our population. I think it’s actually discrimination in itself – discriminating for gender, religion, disability, etc. By having laws which supposedly protect these members of our population we are making them out to be different. It makes me very sad to think that these laws are seen as being needed. And I do wonder at what point some people become aware of differences and become discriminative themselves? It’s a very sad world when we can’t all just see people for who they are. I, too, had a doll similar to Lacey’s maaaany maaaany years ago! 😀 Jude.x

  64. Erin’s five and a half and has just started commenting on people’s skin colour. I’m not really sure where’s it’s come from. Her cousin is aboriginal, but we’ve never made mention of any differences, she’s home schooled so it’s not like she could pick it up there.

    I think it’s just a natural thing, like noticing a difference in hair or eye colour. To me the key is not making a fuss about it. People are different and differences are fine

  67. I have never seen anyone express my thoughts as well as you did! People don’t believe me when I say I don’t care. I’m not fussed about what other people say or do. I know I am a nice, honest person and thats all that matters to me. I teach my kids to not judge & to accept people for their actions & not their looks. I teach them to think about a persons circumstances or background before you judge their actions. Thankyou @fatmumslim

  68. You see I am an Indian reading your post and can I tell you that I am very happy to read it. You have a beautiful mind Chantelle…

  69. Love this 🙂 I work in an international school in London and I have to say I absolutely love being in this environment. Race, religion is never even discussed, everyone is the same and their differences are celebrated (we have an international week to explore everyone’s cultures. You definitely don’t see that most places (including the whiter than white Northern Beaches where I am from). Well written! xx

  71. Why can’t your message get headline news, I can’t believe my beautiful 19 year old son has had to hear these comments today from the politician and then Paris Hilton’s 2 cents worth. My son is gay and a virgin cos he’s waiting for the right guy to come along, i am so proud of him he is kind, sensitive, compassionate (totally outraged by offshore processing). I thought I didn’t care but he has taught me so much more about acceptance than i ever knew, he went to school with kids whose experiences growing up in Africa are truly horrific and I am so glad and happy that those beautiful children can come to Australia and be safe and those kids all accept him it goes round.
    If only all grownups could retain the innocence of the children around us.
    (sorry i have signed Anonymous as it’s not my story to tell, but my son’s)

  72. This post was just what I needed to read today. Thankyou so very much. I wish the world was full of people who think just like you! For the record…I don’t care either 🙂

  73. When my daughter was 3 (in 1974) and learning her colors, she asked one day, “What color is Sarah?” (Sarah was the African-American clerk whose checkout line we always favored.) I immediately asked her, “Well, what color IS Sarah?” And she answered, “Flesh!” I have never been a prouder mom. Great post, Chantelle.

  74. I fondly remember asking my two girl (then about 5 and 6yrs old) – “What the difference between Punky Brewster and so and so (can’t remember Punky’s African American friends name). Both my girls said Punky has two pony tails and So and So has one!

  79. I really like this one! And no I dont care what colour skin people have, all I care about is being who you all are meant to be, oh and happiness 🙂 I care about my family being happy and others around being happy!

  82. You ask – what do you care about? I care about who you are – and who you are is determined by your brain – and everyone’s brain is the same color – grey.So, I never call someone “African-American” or “Indian” or “White” – I call everyone “Grey matter” – even putting that in as the “other” when I answer questionnaires about race… because I refuse to pigeon hole anyone because of their skin… skin has nothing to do with who and what you are. It’s all determined in your brain. So, if someone wants to make you state your race… just look at them and say “Grey Matter”…

  85. I love this post!
    My mom tells a story of when I was in preschool (age 5) and kept babbling on about a new friend I had made. There were two little girls with the same name in my class, so my mom was wondering which one I was talking about. She asked me if my new friend was black, and I responded, “I don’t know! But tomorrow, I’ll check!” She still says it’s one of her favorite stories about how people are all people and should be treated equally. If only the whole world was as color-blind as children!

  89. You are probably not even going to see this, but I simply LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your post! I don’t care either 🙂

  90. newbie here excellent post…so interesting….it was my wake-up call….in the bedroom I only have my android…{tiny letters…lol}…so I came to the living room to read the entire post….when my girl (turns 13 last tuesday) was in kinder the very first day of school she sat at lunch time with a girl that has some kind of discapacity,,,a ¨different¨ face and dark color then another girl came to mine and told her…why you sit with that ugly black girl???.my girl told me …and I speak with the teacher…it was an excellent theme to discuss at class …hugs from Puerto Rico

  92. Chantelle – you are the reason I follow your blog….I feel exactly as you do. I gave my grandson a doll similar to yours for Christmas last year. His parents were delighted and he plays with it and his stuffed animals together. He will be four in November. My children had dolls of all colors. It is a small message to them but a big one at the same time.

  93. Love your post, it’s exactly my way too! And trying to teach my kids the same…. For me people can do what they want…. In France, some people are against wedding of homosexual… I even don’t understand why for me they do what they want,i don’t care, it’s not my buisness…. One day, my daughter had a new teacher and ask how is she, she told me she had blue hair but even mention the black color of her skin and love that!

    • And we don’t have religion either when my kids asked me some questions about religion i just bought us a book who explain all religions…

  94. I care about being the best mom I can possibly be and working at NOT making the same mistakes my mom made. Although, I keep catching myself making others. 😛 I care about being the best wife I can possibly be because God blessed me with the best husband. I care about making sure my students know that not only do I want them to learn I want them to grow and find themselves and what will make them happy. I care about instilling in my children (my own and my students) the fact that each of them has what it takes to make their own lives into whatever they want them to be.

  95. Well said. I have a photo of my 7th birthday party with about 10 of my friends gathered around a table full of party food. I am the only “white” kid in the photo with all the others originating from around the pacific. Years later my mum pointed it out to me stating she thought it was great how it didn’t matter. The great thing is it still doesn’t, and I still don’t care. I get incredibly frustrated when others stereotype, pigeon hole and make generalisations because of race, sexual preference etc.

    I have a 19month old song and acceptance and understanding (and manners!) is already at the forefront of my parenting him. As long as he’s a good person and treats others (and himself) with dignity and respect it doesn’t matter whatever else he choses to do with his life… but I will still care about it 🙂

  98. This has to be one of the best blog posts I have ever read. I hd married a Puerto Rican I am white. My now boyfriend is black. My son has never said a single word about color and I love it. I agree whole heatedly with you. I don’t care!! I wish I could hug you for writing this!! Well virtually I just did!

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