{print via la boite verte}
The piece of advice from that smart little 5 year old is perfect for back then, and for today too. If we stopped and thought about how we wanted to be treated, and then treated others accordingly, we’d all be a whole lot happier, wouldn’t we?
It’s easy to forget that people are human when we’re typing from our homes, behind the bravado of a computer screen. It’s easy to forget the niceties and just bark out orders at people. Since starting the photo a day challenges I’m seeing it much more. People complaining {“This list is shit!“}, people giving negative feedback {“Your photos have been crap this week. Step it up!“} and people just forgetting their manners {“Where is the June list?!“}.
I have to confess. I’m not perfect. I’ve messed up, particularly with tweeting about celebrities. I’ve tried to be more aware. Sometimes I want to comment on their clothing or fake tan, or their behaviour. But celebrities have feelings too. I’m sure of it.
I live online. I play online. Sometimes these un-manners roll off my back and away, other times they bother me. I always think back to that little freckled face and his wise words, “Treat people how you want to be treated.”
I wanted to be treated with respect and with kind words. How about you? How do you want to be treated online?
I'm the type of person who just dies if I think I've hurt someone's feelings, but I also die when someone hurts mine.
I read a lot of blogs, & have read some really awful comments, & now I'm 29 & I've come to realise that although it'd be sweet if we could all live how that freckle faced little boy suggested we do, however I think your picture above is more realistic,
'haters gonna hate'.
And haters are very sad people. Who are fighting with you, only because they're fighting a bigger battle with themselves.
You're an incredibly lovely person. The niceness just very obviously oozes out of you, honestly.
xx
Very well said!
This is so so true. I treat people how I'd like to be treated most of the time, unless they've been mean in which case I tend to give as good as I get. Thank you for this little reminder, it's gonna get bookmarked. 🙂
You are so right, of course we all want to be treated with respect, online as well as in real life! My boyfriend always complains that I get furious about other people quickly when I think that they behave inconsiderate. But I just can't help myself, it makes me so angry to see how people treat each other sometimes.
I really can't understand why people are so rude and complaining about a list not being published when they think it should be?
Don't let these people make you feel bad!
I was once told that everything negative that comes out of someone's mouth is more about them than it is about you.
I most definitely want to be treated like a real human with real feelings and it really irks me that people think they can say whatever they want because they're 'hidden'. So what if you were a little later than usual to post the June photo a day list… it ain't June yet 😉
Keep doing what you're doing and remember it's only a handful of people that are jerks online. The rest of us love you 😀
Michelle
Bok Bok B'Gerk
I try really hard to remember my manners at all times, but I slip up sometimes when commenting on celebrity outfits. I actually correct people automatically – so used to doing it with Boyo! It does annoy me though that a shop assistant can't say please or thank you, instead of just holding out their hand, or that someone can't wave to acknowledge you letting them into the traffic, or kids not saying thank you on a playdate …
Michelle…well said!
I always say to my kids, if you use the word hate, hate is inside you and that isn't a good thing to have, we can say we don't like something but not hate, it's such a negative word. If you ain't got nothing nice to say, don't say anything – the old ones are the best.
I always am considerate to my fellow bloggers, but I admit to being a little snarky regarding celebrities sometimes. I console myself by thinking that they probably never read it anyway. I hate hurting people's feelings. Probably because sometimes mine get hurt pretty easily.
http://www.accidentallybeautiful.com
Well said Chantelle! I think it so important to be kind in life. That doesn't mean you can't disagree but you can do so with respect! X
Oh I've used those words a lot myself – especially when being told by one small person that they did “bad thing” because other small person did a “bad thing” too – because someone says or does something mean, does not mean that you do the same or worse – you step back & treat them how you wish to be treated.
A lovely reminder of the importance of manners 🙂
I have seen some nasty things online lately and it's scary to see.
Michelle well said.
And thank you FMS for another photo list.
I'm really excited about this one.
Tara
Everyday Happenings.
x
Such a beautiful empowering post, and I love reading the comments that resonate so well, with the message you wrote.
It's all about one's ability to connect with others whether online or offline, isn't it?
In my humble opinion, some people simply can't connect, and if they are giving off negative vibes through their negative attitude it's because they feel disconnected with themselves and with others.
And as you said, it's so “easy” for others behind the “safety” of one's home to be careless in how one treat others.
I've observed also, since I've gotten to meet people I've interacted online in person, that some who are giving off an “aggressive” or have a very “vocal” personality online, are surprisingly most of the time very timid in person.
I'm sorry that you encountered people, who are inconsiderate, and thoughtless. 🙁 Your generous spirit does not deserve that.
Thank you that you shared your thoughts on how you feel and think about manners online. This post is a positive beacon of reminder that not everyone behaves in that way, and a lot would not take it sitting down.
More power to you!
I completely agree with you on this one! I've seen some of these comments you've had, and they make me so mad – they are completely uncalled for and unnecessary. I've had a few myself this past week, and I try to ignore them, but the truth is they get under my skin! I say, just keep doing what you are doing…your challenges are great and SO fun!
Jo-Anna
I love the Mamamia forum rules – Pretend you're at a dinner party!
my mom would love this bag…i helped her get online, and on etsy!!!
I am a newbie to your blog & i'm excited to do my first ever “photo a day” starting June 1st (I am a self confessed Instagram addict so I am REALLY looking forward to this challenge !)I've written the “daily photo captures” list on my calender & busting to start “sanppin” !
“Treat Others The Way We Would Like To Be Treated” – couldn't agree more….along with “If You Don't Have Anything Nice To Say – Don't Say It….And Especially Don't Write It On Facebook”
I guess sometimes people say / write things as they hide behind they're keyboard….most of the time I'm quite certain they wouldn't say these things “face to face”…..
Thanks for giving us all a reminder to use our manners…
cheers,
Cheryl 🙂
mike_and_cheryl@hotmail.com
Very well said! It makes me so sad when I go to blogs I LOVE and see comments that are just so hurtful. And pointless; they're mean for no reason! It's even more sad when the comments are on posts that are soul-bearing, when the blogger took a risk and poured out his/her realities onto the page. Kudos to you for standing up! And I think you're doing a fabulous job 🙂
Well said! I do think however that whenever there is criticism it is healthy to look at it and think about whether it is necessary to something a little differently . I personally dislike rudeness, and I always listen carefully to people who are able to change others behaviours or actions without them feeling affronted. I would love to have that skill! Thanks for making me and many more think about being more polite ! X
I have a developmentally delayed daughter living in our house…we've come up against rudeness and bad manners more times than I can remember. She's the sweetest, kindest human you could ever hope to meet, a true example. What is true of human to human interaction is absolutely true of blogs.
Well said Chantelle. I saw a few pestering comments on Instagram coming your way about when the June list was going to be posted up and I thought they were lacking manners too! I often wonder how I come across 'online' as people read my posts/statuses/links in their own tone….but I like to stick to the 'treat people who you'd like to be treated' theory & the 'if you don't have anything constructive or nice to say….then say nothing!” Hey…have an opinion & a point of view, and get your words across….but some manners & poise go along way. {online & offline}.
Head up Chantelle. Most people can see the good things you're doing & they appreciate it, I'm sure.
x
So very true. It feels innately wrong to be so mean too…I wrote a scathing status about delta last week on Facebook and within seconds i deleted it, I just felt bad as after all , she is also human. Do I really want my friends and family to see that ugly, judging side of myself? Not really… Project the person you want to be.
It is easier to be nice to people I find. It's sits better with my soul & it makes for a nicer life for all of us. I go out of my way to be nice, especially online, because I know I feel good when people are nice to me so I want them to feel like that too. I know those times I am not nice, for whatever reason, I end up feeling the worst & then I need to make amends because I just hate feeling like that.
These people who go out of their way to be horrible do it because of their issues. Rarely are they mean because of the other person. Unfortunately we have to take the good with the bad but I've learnt to avoid the bad because I know it rubs off…
I can't begin to tell you how many times I write a nasty Facebook status and quickly delete it. It's so much easier to be nasty online, a written comment doesn't hurt as much as being told how it is to your face
Manners are sadly becoming a way of the past with too many people.I despair for the generation coming up now,the parents are most often trying very hard to teach their children the manners we were all taught;please,thank you,if you cannot say something nice don't say anything etc.
Then however they go to school and rub shoulders with others who aren't taught the same,and also come across the lack of decent discipline in possibly schools and from society. The general..”I don't care,no one can do anything about it,” …attitude is hard to beat when it seems to cover so much of todays' youth.
It would be a pleasant online world,(and offline) if people actually knew what manners were!
Having said that,I wouldn't want to give the opinion that I feel no one has any manners anymore,many of the people I speak with online are lovely,it's only when I read something outside of where I generally read and play that I see this.
Love this blog,and don't often see anything negative :0)
Great post ! It would be great if everyone would read it and hear what you are saying. You are right, it is too easy to say horrible things from the safety of your computer. I always try to imagine when I comment that I am talking to that person – if I wouldn't say it to their face, I don't write it for them to read.
Have a great day !
Me
hear hear! couldn't agree with you more Chantelle and it's a shame that there aren't more people out there with the lovely attitude that you posess :)I agree with an earlier post, it is generally more about “them” than it is about “you”
In all honesty, people should simply be grateful for the wonderful lists that you give to us! and it is just that, a gift!
we shouldn't let those sorts of people or those sorts of comments or actions get to us, but sometimes that's easier said than done! especially if, for whatever reason, we are a little fragile at the time <3
chin up, I'm sure I speak for the rest of us when I say that those people are the minority! we love your lists, we do genuinely appreciate them (when ever it is that they arrive, you do after all have a life!), your blog and what you do for us and .. meh! to hell with them 😉
Hello Chantelle
I don't normally leave long comments on anyones blogs for fear of not being read but I wanted to “talk” to you here about this matter.
Oh my – you have blogged a topic I have blogged before a few times – it is extremely close to my heart. ( I wanted to use capitals but I would have appear like I was shouting).
People are gutless, people are weak and people vent their weakness's at others strengths.
Whilst I allow the anonymous commenting – I think it should be illegal 🙂
Kindess begets kindess, always.
Personally, I have an enormous memory and I remember the venom (not taking it as baggage at all – I just remember who said what). Even if it doesn't involve me I notice the slingers and mud throwers just as much as I notice the ultimate professionals (that give me the model to be like).
I have been in business for years and a business coach took my business from good to ultimate years ago. Long before social media was in.
The rule of manners (business etiquette) is applied for anything: always act professional, never say anything that will be repeated to make you cringe or regretful ( I have done this and I am regretful), say something nice first – by the time you finish you won't want to say anything nasty.
Chantelle these are just a few and there are many more.
Slobs forget – all of us are human, we weep and bleed just as much as the next.
Another important factor I have never forgotten – It comes from George Burns, which comes from Oprah.
They said : “they used to walk into a room of 500 people, and 5 out of the 500 may not have liked them immediately for whatever reason. They used to concentrate the whole time on the people who didn't like them instead of enjoying the 495 that did like them.
They didn't end up having a great time themselves and appreciating the audience that loved what they were”.
So with that said we try to be the best – (and I can tell you do try at all times and are also talented at being so realistic for us too 🙂
Though – there are those days that the balls may not stay up with the juggling.
Who cares – that's life, your life and no body else's.
Chantelle: Keep on being you, because you are awesome
x Loulou
(ps I wonder if you got to the end of my comment being so long – I had the best intentions).
pps: you know I am still weeping about not seeing you this saturday at the Etsy congress. x
I just started your photo a day challenge this month (May), and while I eagerly anticipate June's list – I can appreciate how much time and effort it must take you to come up with such a wonderful list for all of us to use. We use you, basically, to give us a jump start for creativity. I'm sorry that people treat you like this for providing something to others for free! Again, thank you for all you do.
What a gracious article in reply to folks who have no manners or forget to be kind. We ALL do this sometimes, as we charge ahead, barging into other people's space, interrupting them or speaking without please and thank you's (mind your P's and Q's I always heard as a kid!), BUT it's how we fix those mistakes that counts and being so rude about something like an online photo challenge is ludicrous! People need to realize that you make the lists for fun and as a kind favour to the rest of us! Hoping those folks can learn to think twice about their behaviours!
very true, and so sad that people feel the need to make themselves feel better and more superior over someone by being rude and crude and downright nasty!
I've had my fair share of 'bullies' on the internet since starting my blog, but THANKFULLY all the good ones sure do outway the bad!
People really need to think before harsh words are spoken, words do hurt even when we don't want them to. Treat people well and shrug off the ones that don't deserve your time but never a need to be nasty. Adults like children, still need to grow up unfortunately.
I always try to treat people how I want to be treated and I don't always succeed, but I think it's important to remember. Some people are just so rude to people they know and absolute strangers and I simply cannot understand how people can be so mean. I honestly cannot fathom it. Be nice to people and always they'll be nice to you back, right?
~Sara
sarastrauss.blogspot.com
Wow. I'm sorry that you've had some of those comments. I can't even tell you how awful that would make me feel. Thank you for the reminder. I know that my words/actions/opinions have sometimes hurt people when I didn't mean for them to – and I always try to apologize and correct my error, but to hurt someone or be cruel on purpose is just not acceptable.
I love photoaday! Thank you for doing it when you don't even have to!
Hello Again – Like most reading this post will feel, it's upsetting that people are so rude sometimes. Of course, 10/10 times they are not doing anything anywhere near as cool as you and are definitely not inspiring anyone.
Keep doing what you are doing, making so many more people happy. (It's crazy that the words of a handful of people can take away the hundreds/ thousands of positive feedback!)
Stay awesome
x
Hi chantelle, i am sorry to read that you have been on the receiving end of bad comments or just plain rude people. I rarely comment but would never leave a bad/cruel comment. I always appreciate the time and effort people like you put on their blog. So please continue to do what you do best. It is all very much appreciated!
I say it to my kiddos all the time…treat others the way you want to be treated yourself…if a 5 year old gets it why do so many grown up people not get it…generally because they are spending too much time worrying about what others are doing rather than worrying about themselves! In the world of the written word it is so important to be so much more vigilant with how we phrase things because they are devoid of the tone and body language that come with actual conversation, and it cannot be erased. like your photo haters gonna hate, and they are much less than you are for it. hope all goes well with your procedure, bummer about not being able to speak at the conference!! Tatum xx
I totally agree! It seems as though the social media outlets have become some peoples personal journal on venting (which is not always a bad thing) but we have to be aware that feelings are involved on the other end of the computer. We are all imperfect an that is what is so great about us all. You do a kick ass job!
P.S. I love those Etsy bags!!
xo,
Allison
http://barretts1234.blogspot.com/
We have a very simple saying in our house (and we don't even have kids yet) it's 'manners are for free'.
Chantelle, you have more kindness and class that anyone I've met online or in real life. It makes me cranky that people act like that towards you.
I'm always amazed at the venom and even some of the thoughtless comments or tweets I've seen. I'm equally amazed at some of the defenses that people use, like it's just their opinion. You know if you're going to hurt someone, don't dress up meaness as 'free speech'.
I think your blog post sums it up perfectly. It was does amaze (and also disgust me) that people have said things to you like “your photos are shit”. Who do they think thy are!? Instagram, and social media in geneal is meant to be a place to express yourself. You have been so open and honest with your blogs and your photos, sharing your life with people and inviting people to join in the photo a day challenge (my personal favourite!) Some people just need to take a step back and think about what they are saying. Keep up the great work. I love reading your blog and seeing your instagram pics. Have a great day and keep your chin up 🙂
It can be tough. I always remember not to be mean to bloggers or anything like that but I'm guilty of saying snippy things about celebrities, too. I've tried my best to just keep my thoughts on them to myself even though heaven knows I've wanted to share my opinion on having to look at pregnant Snooki for the past week at the grocery store and Target in the mags section. We should all just be nice. I don't want anyone to hurt my feelings so I should try not to wound anyone else's. I'm glad you spoke on this. Folks can be *so* mean online!
Some people can be jerks……and they don't even know they said something hurtful. Or care. Who knows. I hope to be above that.
Thanks for the giveaway!! Love your blog, you are a sweetie!
glen
I have been lucky enough to not experience online nastiness first hand yet but I have seen it directed towards people I love and admire. That little boy is going to grow up to be a King of kindness… the world should be full of more people like him!
I'm new here too and I think the photo a day project is incredible!!!! (That's why I came here to begin with and once I saw how nice of a person you are as well, I decided to stay) 🙂 I think your picture for today sums it up nicely…there are just some people who are going to be rude and self-absorbed no matter what you do. Shake it off and keep moving forward…like another commenter said, it's more negative about them than you. At my age (43) I've also learned to use the DELETE button…both literally and figuratively to people who try to bring me down. We don't need people like that in our lives 🙂 Heads up, Chantelle…you're a beautiful person!!
This post is spot-on! And those bags are cute!
I'm gobsmacked (I don't really like that word but it looks cool typed…) people are critical of your lists, your images and your timing – how rude. I hope you don't take any of it to heart because they're really not worth it.
I like to write every post and comment as if my family is going to read it. If it's something I wouldn't be fine having my mum, husband or anyone that knows me read, then it doesn't belong online. Or anywhere, for that matter. Thanks for voicing this.
Your words are spot on! I too see a lot of it and its just U-G-L-Y!
Anyhoo, I was hoping to get to Etsy Success too but alas I have something on also.
I totally agree with your thoughts on manners! As a perspective teacher, manners are something I hope to teach and re-teach throughout the school year. One thing I'm grateful about being a small blogger is that I haven't received any harsh words yet (knock on wood). I'm sorry about all those mean words written on your blog. Especially because I truly love your photos!
Very good post Chantelle, a very timely reminder. I've been thinking about this too. Not the really ugly meanie posts (obviously there is something wrong when people *speak” like that). I'm talking more the more brusque, uncaring comments. Hope your health is ok. xx
Haha that douche telling you to step up your photos was a turd xx
I agree. Sometimes we, people just forget. It's easy to say what you like in a comment or on facebook/twitter, etc. I've had times when I've made comments and pressed the sent button, but as I did it, I re-read my comment and it didn't come across as I would like it to, then I went back, apologized and tried to explained what I meant. Once the msg is sent it's gone, just like the spoken word, so we should think about what we write just like we think about what we are about to say, so we don't hurt people's feelings.
Commenting online is akin to driving a car, the protection felt while behind a computer or behind the wheel makes it quite easy to spontaneously lash out without thought to the consequence of one's action. Both are highly inappropriate. I found your photoaday through another blog that I like to follow and have not missed a picture since February – the joy that it brings to me makes it hard to believe that someone would be so negative towards you or the challenge, but people type faster than they think sometimes. And you know what? Some people are just rude and have no manners, unfortunately there is no fix for that. I told my daughter when she was in 2nd grade (she's 19 now) that she wasn't going to like everyone and not everyone was going to like her but she was always to have good manners. This is the bottom line for me, it's important to be well-mannered, thoughtful of other's feelings, and to always be thinking WWYMT – What Would Your Mother Think!?! Chantelle you have brought/bring joy to many and I do hope that drowns out the Negative Nellie's. : )
Totally agree with your post. People who put themselves out their for us to read and relate to are owed some respect. You may not agree with what is written, they may not post enough for you, etc but hey that's life. People need to live by Thumpers' Mums philosophy (from the film Bambi) – “If you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all”.
And a girl can never have enough bags.
I'm not sure that I agree entirely with your post. Do you mean that if anyone has anything negative to say about anything they should keep it to themselves? So that Blogsville would become just one huge mutual admitration society?
I'm all for treating others with respect and am appalled by the vicious comments I see appearing on the internet under the cloak of anonymity but I also think it important to keep our feet on the ground – not everything we decide to share with the world is “great” “thumbs up” or “coool”. Some of it is just not worth it.
I'm definitely not saying that the world has to be a huge love-fest. I think it's all in the delivery. I like when people don't agree. I also like when people share their opinions.
There's a big difference between, “What you do is shit” and “I don't agree with you. I think ….”
The bottom line, for me, is that people should treat people how they want to be treated. I think that's pretty fair.
I absolutely agree with you – especially at those Instagram comments you keep getting. People are too liberal with the send button.
There is always a place for your own opinions – but that's not a licence to spew out whatever you feel like. Compassion and sensitivity is important. Taking a minute or two to think about what you would like to say is a good thing.
Sorry to hear that you're missing the Esty event – I thought that was awesome but your health is important x
Thanks to you, I've made new friends, seen a lot of lovely photos, I've been challenged to think and see things anew, and I have some nice shots I otherwise wouldn't.
Also–your photos rock.
I'm beholden to you.
You have this amazing ability to write about things I am thinking or feeling. Its actually quite scary how spot on you an be.
I have only just been thinking lately how nasty people can be towards others who are brave enough to express their thoughts and opinions online.
In fact I used to devour the readers comments as much a I read the posts they were commenting on, but I have been a voiding that lately as I just get so disillusioned at times with what I read.
It scares me, and it worries me that if I speak my mind and share my thoughts, I could be attacked for that. Or that people can make an offhanded insulting remark that can hurt so bloody much.
You are incredibly inspiring Chantelle to so many, and I for one would be willing to head butt anyone that threatened your desire to keep on doing what you do. xx
This is a healthy reminder for anyone around the online world! I think often those rude people forget that there is a real person on the other side of the screen as well, but they also forget that they are real people too – many tend to act differently online than they would ever dare to act in face to face real life. And what many have said here in the comments, it's the insecurity and issues with themselves that cause the rude comments. Everyone has a right to their opinions, and it's ok to voice them as well, but they should do it with kindness and respect instead of being rude and offensive.
I've been doing your photo a day since March, and I love how the topics challenge us to see the art and creativity in everyday life. And I do think June's list is my favourite so far! I also enjoy reading your blog every time, not because the topics are always closest to home for me, but because of the way you write – you are inspiring, positive and challenging us to think about how to get there ourselves, too!
Great post as it can be so hard to put into words without being mean how to not be mean! In my experience I have mainly received mean spirited comments when a post was seeming to challenge a persons perceived views, I think though this is since I am an expat blogger and immigration and foreigners tend to be a big spot of contention for most unfortunately!
Also those bags are super cute!
I think people need to re think how they act online, and I think it is great that you are calling them out on it! I have also seen comments where people don't seem to understand you are a person (one person) who puts the lists together for fun!
Please, stay awesome!
Thanks Emma! x
Isn't it funny how when people feel safely physically away from you just how mean they can be? Things get said online that would NEVER be said to someone's face and it is just not right. Communicating online can be tricky enough, communicating an opinion can be a minefield….just some respect is all that is needed methinks! And, I am loving your photo's and found you via Instagram – can't wait to start my first photo a day month.
It's such a shame that people feel okay with being so mean. I have found that I get endless emails from photography students just demanding work from me when I have barely got enough work myself. Same goes with people enquiring about my services. I don't understand why they think it is okay to be so darn rude!
I am sorry people are barking orders at you. Just remember that for every person doing that there are ten who appreciate the time and effort you put into blogging and with your photo a day challenges x
Thank you. x
Chantelle, Katrina from The Block 2011 gave me some advice recently – similar to this post, that yeah 'Haters are gonna hate!' You can't change them! I think there is a certain type of person who is just miserable, within themselves, and maybe they are not as successful as you, or as brave… they hide behind anons and avatars (as soon as I work out how to make my photo show I will! lol) and they are just generally not nice! The'll pick on one phrase you said and throw it right back at you! They'll even tell you that you changed your mind from you last post…. or lied! Apparently contradictions are not welcome! But really I am only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand. And I don't have to justify myself! One had a go at me for 'one post' and then said I changed my mind…so I told her exactly where she could find the comment she was referencing and I agreed, I did indeed say it and I wasn't taking it back…it's my blog, I'll post what I want to!
I had a stalker once … a couple of years ago, and she sending me nasty messages having a go at me because my blogs were silent. I have four of them, I'm a mum of 10 and I have 8 children at home! (At the time our youngest was not yet 'here'!) I had just suffered a miscarriage and my children were on school holidays, my Blogs were silent. And she accused me of having too many fingers in too many pies. People seem to take it personally when you don't post. Apparently you owe them something! What was I supposed to do!? Start random posting anything? Honestly, my Blogs, in my timeframe. Sometimes my pictures are 'shit' too! I take reasonably good photos, but not ALL of the time! And my Blog posts aren't always uber exciting…oh well! I'm just me and I do the best I can! If they don't like it, well, I guess they just don't have to read it!
M
It's funny when people think because you blog they have a right to your life. Amazes me. I've been pretty lucky – a few comments here and there. But that stalker … eeek!
I have discovered, in the short time that I have been participating, that the online social sphere can be the most UNsocial sphere I have ever orbited in. I think it has enabled the rage that is within all of us to bubble over too quickly. If I had to go up to a person and share my negative view, I probably wouldn't. I have purposed in my heart to only say positive things in the online world and if I can't then I don't say anything at all. Did you know if you go for 14 days without saying anything negative or critical you actually increase your dopamine levels in your brain (gosh, I can't actually give you a reference for that as I heard it at a conference on depression and it was a scrawl on some paper I found in a recent clean up). Thanks also for the opportunity to win one of the Etsy bags but that isn't the reason why I commented hahahaha. Good luck with your move too. xx Fi
Well that's a great reason to keep the negative to a minimum! Not that I know what dopamine does to oneself, but it sounds lovely. x
I think some of the comments people make are just nasty. Think it is usually about the individual themselves rather than the person they are commenting about. I think you have handled the nasty comments with a lot of class and I applaud you for that
Thank you. I think it's more about them than us, but sometimes it is hard to remember that. Thanks for your kind words. x
Just imagine what those people are like in real life, you're probably better off just being harassed online. BUT it's not cool at all, I see a lot of meanness on twitter and all I can do is block and move on.
Life's too short.
Love your blog, just ignore them, k?
Will do Tania!
When I went to BlogHer they talked about trolls and they also said imagine their lives – concentrating on hating. And isn't that great perspective? Who'd want to live like that? xx
Hi Chantelle – I don't need another bag! 🙂 but felt compelled to contribute my voice on this. I have only recently discovered you and your blog via a friend. I haven't really had much time to wander too much on the net before, but your blog has really captivated me. And I have been looking forward to the start of June as I want to participate in the photo a day.
But i have noticed the bits of rudeness, the disrespect and disdain that pops up from time to time, and I have personally felt affronted on your behalf. One in particular was a little thing about a photo, a throwaway comment that was just, well, nasty and said so much about that person and her own anger and sadness really. And I don't think it's purely about being “online”, unfortunately, as it's very likely that the person is angry and mean and sad in other aspects of their life too.
There's always the possibility of being treated poorly by others, and when you become such a popular blogger, you're going to increase the odds substantially. So Chantelle, please keep having resilience (I know it's hard though) and being real and helpful, creative, fun and inspiring and being YOU with your wonderful honesty and rapport – but only when you want and for as long as you want. Regards, Susanne
Beautiful said. Thank you so much. x
You are so spot on. I work in hospitality and this has been an issue lately. The disrespect that we have been given lately…may be it's the cold weather, and people are less happy then,I don't know… but it really gets you and the team down. Sometimes you just want to scream the words “I am human too you know!” to some customers, but you can't, you bite your lip, smile politely and walk away. I really don't get why some people have to be so rude to the people searving them food…something they ingest…I mean, not that I do but, hello! Anyway, you hit the nail on the head and I follow the same belief…treat others how you would like to be treated.
Once again a post i loved…
It seems that underlining the obvious is silly but it really is not. Thanks for the reminder and the giveaway!
Chantelle, I'm tired of the nastiness of late. I never dish out so it shocks you when it comes back. Plus, my Gran taught me when I was 7 and living with her: “if you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” x
Hey Chantelle –
I have been working on starting my blog up and this is one thing that worries me. I guess we cannot stop how people treat others as we can't offline but was a great reminder x
Some people will never get it, but I am glad that you do and that you posted this. Thank you. I wish we all had that freckle face to remind us all to be nice to one another. 🙂
in case you haven't been told enough – THANK YOU for taking the time to blog and put together the #photoaday lists. i LOVE them and it's been a perfect way for me to be social without being negative…to engage with my friends across the world without even needing a ton of words…and to just have some fun and be creative. so THANK YOU.
I agree with the lady above who said 'It's more about them than you!' So true. I called a neighbour once to ask if his house mate could leave more quietly! Roaring the engine at 5 am beside the baby's room was a tad OTT. He let me have it. He swore at me and he yelled and ranted. In years gone by that would have reduced me to tears, BUT I realised in a split second, that said so much about him and who he really was, and I felt sorry for him! If that's how he lives his life…attacking people…wow!!!! He could have just said 'Thanks for your call, see ya!' He was so angry and I imagine that's how he's lived most of his life…I could be wrong. Maybe I just caught the guy on a bad day!
Well said. I've notice how mean people can be online. It's so sad. The world would be such a better place if we all took that little boys advice. It's so true. We should always treat people the way we want to be treated.
Great post as always 🙂
Perhaps I'm just an “old lady” but it slays me when I see how rude people can and are online. And you Chantelle dear…if people continue to nag you about photoaday just ring me up and I'll do some mother bear growling 😉
i am a real Bag Lady…i would love one
I am sorry you have to miss your Etsy talk – it is a very timely and important subject. I witnessed the “step it up” situation on IG and I was pretty appalled. I consider it a wonderful favor you do us, with your Photo a Day challenges. I am happy to say that I find IG to be overwhelmingly supportive, but those instances where it is not take me by surprise.
You hit the nail on the head – it's easy to be negative when you're anonymously commenting behind a computer screen. I just wish people could follow this simple advice: “Be nice. Just be nice.” It's really not that hard. Thanks for all you do!
Totes are the best. You can never have too many!
There are many things online that I have wondered “What The Hell” was that person thinking about?
Wonder if they forget that as they type that someone is actually going to read it. Wonder if they dont realise that they are also human and everyone has feelings.
I once wrote a blog post that was taken the wrong way, so I jumped in and edited very quickly because I never ever want to hurt another persons feelings.
I lived with my Grandmother, Pat, for a few years after finishing school, every night she would pray. One night we got into a huge discussion about religious beliefs and Pat said that so much of the fighting and the wars in the world would end if only everyone thought about the similarities of what so many religions tell us, rather than the differences. Pat told me to think about things such as: “Do unto others”, “Karma, what goes around comes round” and so on. How it is telling us to respect each other.
I have not become religious like my Grandmother, however, I do always think about her asking me, and the world, to “Do unto others”.
It's simple really…..
Downside to life: People are shit,
Upside to life: We are not those people.
Yeah, it's hard to read when people leave negative comments. It's like, if you want to leave a negative comment, it's better to just not leave one at all.
Glad you said this, it's good to everyone to read and remember to be courteous to others online 🙂
I still remember that “step it up” comment too, and have been pondering away on it, much as it seems you have. I also like to take the “do unto others” approach to life, both on and offline. The yuckiness that followed that comment also made me think about celebrities and how we treat celebrities. There seems to be a perception that if a person appears in the media, then their life is fodder for comment without regard for their feelings.
It has made me think about how I talk about everyone. And also made me realise that celebrity or not we are all people.
On the plus side, it also made me think about you and the success you have achieved with your blogging. To me it seems that for a blogger (or instagrammer) to have people treat her as if she is not a person with feelings, she must be an online celebrity. So that is the positive you can take from the negative! And as other people have said, there are so many people out there loving what you do, and feeling grateful for the creativity you have injected into their lives.
I love the little IG community that I have become part of as a result of the photo a day challenges that you create. Yesterday's personality challenge was hard, but it was great to get to know my IG friends a little better from their interpretations. And with out you I would never have “met” this lovely group of people.
I don't read your blog everyday (I don't always have time) but I always enjoy your take on the world. I rarely comment on your photos on IG, there always seem to be so many, I feel like mine would get lost. But maybe I should, so there can be more positivity to counter the people demanding the new list and spammers calling for followers.
So thanks for doing what you do! I think you have achieved amazing success with what you are doing and you are a bloggy celebrity to me.
Sandra x
(@s_gale)
You would have been so wonderful at that conference, Telle. It's a shame you can't do it.
There is never any excuse for nastiness, I think. I took a post down this week that everyone tells me was 'tame', but I thought it was heading into territory that I had no business being in, so I censored myself. I'd rather not get involved in things that others have a tendency to get nasty over. It's just not worth risking being tarred with the same brush.
x
Your own blog is your place to vent and put down your thoughts and opinions. It doesn't matter about anyone else and their opinions, this place is yours. You are not responsible for the way people feel or whether they agree or disagree, if they do they can go jump, coz this is your place to be you.
You can be nice in the real world, to people's faces, but where do you go to say how you really feel? Your blog. Where do you talk about people you don't know? Your blog. Sure treat people how you want to be treated, but for all the people you don't actually know, don't worry about it.
what a shame you are going to miss the Etsy conference! I think it's going to be a good one (I can't go either, if it helps any!!)
for what it's worth, I've enjoyed your May list, and appreciate your time compiling it, so thank you 🙂
It's my fervent wish that people everywhere, not just online, treat others as they would like/expect to be treated…
The internet has many upsides and I've met a lot of wonderful people through it, but the you're right when you say it's easy to forget that the people we're talking to are human, too. That is one of the biggest downsides to the internet.
I think you've handled the negativity and rudeness with a lot of class, and I'm glad you wrote this post! People will take for granted all the work that goes into putting projects like this together. I appreciate all you do for us, your readers 🙂
As for those bags, they are so, so cute. I'd love to win one!
Tks for the reminder. I always try to be positive in comments I leave. I came here for the June list, I must confess. Cute bags. Id love to win one!
How very rude people are when they are doing it behind the protection of their keyboard.
I for one never leave a negative comment anywhere. I use Facebook and never use bad language and if I don't like a person's viewpoint or photo, I simply scroll on by.
These days people are communicating more but talking to each other less, if you understand.
I think your Photo A Day is an amazing thing and it has connected me with people all over the world. It is lovely to see other people's photos and see how they interpret the theme.It is also lovely when people take the time to comment on any that I have posted on your page.
Don't stop what you are doing, it is a good thing! I am currently suffering with depression and having to think of something for my photo a day is helping me see things positively.
Take care of yourself and well said!
Jaki Morris UK
I sometimes wonder if these people are as rude in person as they are online. They probably are. You aren't the only IGer that I have seen receive negative comments recently. It seems that the more popular you are, the more people try to bring you down, as if it is your “fault” that you became so popular (as opposed to hard work, and interesting/amazing content). Don't let them bother you, Chantelle. There are thousands upon thousands of us who think you are cool, amazing, and wonderful and we totally appreciate the work you put into making this list each month. And I love your blog posts, too! 😉
Thank you for creating the Photo A Day lists. They've made me take more photographs, and although I don't always like all the themes, I look on those ones as a challenge to come up with something that fits in with my photo taking.
I do appreciate the effort you put into the lists though and I'm very glad that you do them!
Good said 🙂
Love this post! I wish more people thought like you. The world would be a much nicer place. Gotta love that 5 year old insight huh 🙂 Thank you for sharing! 🙂
People really give you a hard time about posting your list? A: Your lists are awesome. I love taking the photos and my friends and family enjoy looking at them. They've really made me enjoy my photography and think more creatively. So, thank you!
B: We steal/borrow your lists so if other people don't like them they can go and make their own!
I'm feeling quite angry about this on your behalf!
It is so frustrating seeing how mean-spirited and ungrateful people can be when commenting on something you work on, and love doing. I get angry when this happens to me, but then I get sad.
The only thing I do to feel better is to surround myself with comments and people who make me feel good about myself. And delete the ones that don't.
I love your spot on the 'net. Keep on truckin'.
Stephanie
http://www.bassability.blogspot.com
I love the lists – because of this I'm on my way to a 366 project that I never thought I'd be able to do
Manners rule
Awww I want one!!
And you got that right! People online are so rude. Especially on Instagram. Ugh!
I'm new here! I just found your photoaday on Instagram and now I am following your blog and your photos!
Yes please! I truly love your blog. The layout and the honesty in the blogposts 🙂 Love your photoaday challenges as they are challenging to complete them
katattack2000.wordpress.com
how exciting that you are moving house, i hope you and your little family are happy in your new home x
Thank you for the reminder about manners online. It does feel so disappointing when people forget…. And thank you for coming up with the Photoaday as an inspiration to many of us who love to take photos. I refer to it almost everyday and play along…. And thanks for this cute giveaway. Hope your day is just as great!
SO much of what you've said here is so true! It seems that people sometimes forget that we are all real people behind the blogs, words, ideas.
Elizabeth Saxe Coburg-Gotha is an evil woman, why do we slave away at work our whole lives for money with her face on
i like the design………. what font are these comments in?