Guest Post: The Two Of Us.

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t has been the two of us, my daughter and I for a long time now. When I was pregnant and I was no longer ever on my own and had a jellybean to keep me company, when she was a tiny little baby needing constant love and attention, and as a now toddler who oscillates between being my koala baby and my fiercely independent little girl.

We are a happy family of three. And in many ways, I’m sure my husband feels the same way. Because he has his own relationship with his daughter, just the two of them. But that’s what happens when you start a family instead of having one relationship as partners, you have multiple relationships. We have our married relationship. I have my relationship with Riley. He has his relationship with her. And we have a relationship as parents. As a (mostly) stay at home mother, for the vast majority of my time, it is just the two of us. When she was a baby and breastfeeding, sometimes what felt like continuously, when she started to walk and was unsure on her feet – reaching up to hold my hand to be safe, when she was recovering from the ICU and would cry her hoarse seal-like cry whenever I wasn’t holding her, and as a toddler running towards me to kiss all her bumps and bruises better.

Now, all of that is about to change. Our second baby, still just a jellybean, is making their presence known. I’m in my first trimester, so there are hardly any outward changes yet. But I know, my time with just me and my daughter, who I still think of as my baby is time limited. I have only 7 months left where I will only have one child. Before I know it I will be a mother of two, and Riley will have a sibling. And yet again, my life will change forever.

The only way I can describe the way my life changed with Riley, is that she gave birth to me, not the other way around. I still feel that way, more than two years later.

And now, I want to really enjoy this last period of time before everything changes again. Because I know it’s not possible that she will get the same amount of undivided attention. That I won’t be able to watch every little development with as much focus. That not every photo I take will be of her. And I also know that seeing her as a sibling, as a big sister, will be far more joyful than I can possibly imagine. But still, I want to soak up every cuddle, every smell, every belly laugh, every stamp of the foot, every new word, every moment. Because as much as our little jellybean was desperately hoped for and rejoiced over, I want to treasure all the time I have left with my beautiful baby, just the two of us.