Guest Post: Smitten.


I

t is no surprise to anyone who reads my blog that I am smitten with words.
I love them. The swirl around in my head, lead me to fantasy and I become dreamy.

Last night the words I heard slapped me straight in the face and I didn’t like them at all. I cried and I certainly wasn’t proud of my actions.

Miss L has a task at school where she is to write a speech about our family.
She wrote a beautiful speech don’t get me wrong.

I enjoyed listening to her describe her adorable Dad, his routines{work, sleep and wake times} I agreed with her that Mr. Kypo makes the best milkshakes on the weekend and he was the best dad !Then it came to me.

She described that I own two kindys and in the holidays she likes to come and work at one of them. Mmm.. that is true but my ego was screaming for more.

I continued to listen attentively about her little brother who she described can be annoying, crazy at times and her admiration of his talent for guitar and expressing he wants to play guitar in his dads band.

My ego was still screaming out banging on the inside of my body wanting voice to let it out.

I attempted silencing it whilst she beautifully concluded her speech. I praised her. I reflected and then there was no more silencing it.
I shamefully said, ‘Is that what I do?’

She looked at me confused.

‘Work in our two kindys?’

You wrote all these things about Dad, Master N and I me ‘ I work.’
Damn it. I became my mother. I was manipulating her.
I quickly tried back peddling telling her that she wrote a great speech and it was a wonderful description of her family! Knowing I made her feel guilty and I felt ashamed.
My ego still felt it needed more.

I was thinking of all the words she didn’t say and she knew it.

I sent both babes in to clean their teeth. They crawled into my bed laying either side of me kissing me good night.

Miss L then told me she felt guilty. I wanted to kill my ego for winning.

I mentioned there was no need, I am fine and she did a beautiful job.

Master N obviously sensed my egos want to be recognized expressing beautiful words to me.
Both babes went to bed & Mr. Kypo came in.

I was crying
He lifted the covers and embraced me, ‘Are you ok?’

‘No!’ I told Mr.Kypo I listened to Miss L’s speech. I recited her words.
Mr. Kypo looked at me, ‘Babe, she said your the best mum in the world.’

No she didn’t. I recited now word for word what she said about him.

I then expressed to him. I am always there, I cook hot breakfasts, I exhaust myself making sure all their schedules, notes etc are done.

Mr. Kypo looked onto my eyes as I wiped my tears.

She said, ‘You’re the best mum. I know she read her speech to me 3 times this afternoon.’

We kissed.
I thought.
Did she say that? Did I miss it? Am I ruled by my ego?
Whether she said it or not it really doesn’t matter. I work, I work very hard.

I am her mum and I catch her when she falls. That is irreplaceable and that will never change.
Sometimes words can hurt. Words can love. Words can pull you out of your ego driven mind and place you in the present moment making you re-look and take in the beautiful moment.
This guest post was written by Belinda of Cupcakes, Frocks & Pink. Thanks for sharing your beautiful words and life with us. And remember… you’re the best mum in the world. That’s a pretty darn lovely thing to say. x

8 thoughts on “Guest Post: Smitten.”

  2. Ouch. Sometimes we lose ourselves in the practicalities of getting a family through life. I worry that I may lose my babies to those practicalities too. Thanks for sharing. x

  3. I am as in love with words as you are, and this post is full of beautiful, sad and heart-wrenching words. It's so hard when we are taken for granted. But in a way, it's a testament to the fact that we are giving our children exactly what they need if they do take us for granted, even if that hurts our ego.

    Even though Riley's not quite at that age yet, it still stings when she constantly asks for her dad or her aunt or her grandma when I'm the one who clothes her, feeds her, holds her and puts up with kicks in the back and elbows to the stomach at night in bed

  7. Oh .. that has actually made me cry. It's hard being a working mum and sometimes I feel like they love dad much more than me .. but, like you, I am a little sensitive to what 'normal' mums must do (or be) – and I don't follow the traditional path. I do my best every day also.

    This was a very lovely post (-:

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