Goodbye Mate

We got the phone call on Monday night that he was really unwell and didn’t have much longer, and time stood still. I was working late, and had no words. I wept over my keyboard as Lacey watched on. “Don’t cry mama,” she tried to comfort me, offering me tissues for my eyes.

We hurriedly packed our bags for the eight hour road trip, and headed off the next day. We took turns in crying, tears falling as we drove along, as the memories and concerns floated in and out. A few hours from arriving we got a phone call that we needed to hurry, and our anxiety increased. We drove along devastated. We were driving full speed towards grief and sorrow.

By the time we arrived it was night, and the hospital was silent. The patients all seemed to be asleep and there was one lone guard at the front entrance. Behind all the other doors was a hive of machines and doctors bustling about.

I can’t even remember walking up the stairs to get there. I remember standing at the doors and dialing to let them know we were there. The doctor came to show us where to go, and we followed him…

We said our goodbyes through sobbing, with tear soaked faces, and Lacey and I then headed home to wait. He passed away at 2:40am the next morning with his beloved wife and son by his side.

I’ve never been so sad, or seen such sadness. I’ve never been so frustrated or so confused. As I headed into town to grab supplies later that morning, I cried in the butchers. Tears because the world rudely continued on without him as per normal, tears because I knew that he’d been there so many times before.

It still doesn’t feel real. I can’t believe that he’s not here. I can’t believe that he won’t be here for all the good stuff that’s to come.

Sadly Pop Pop {to Lacey – Bluey to me – Dad to Hubby} has gone to heaven. I’ve never met someone so loved. As I called to tell people of his passing {and there were a lot because he was so loved} I could hear the devastation in their voices. To hear all their kind words and adoring thoughts of him, warmed my heart. He was loved. He touched many with his uncomplicated ways and cheeky, larrakin personality. He will be so dearly missed. xx

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73 thoughts on “Goodbye Mate”

  5. Oh so sad for you telle. I have tears streaming down my face as you capture the grief with your words. Love to you and your family x

  10. I am so so sorry for your family's loss. It's sounds like your father in law was a special man. My thoughts are with you and your family. xx

  14. I got goosebumps reading this. You write so beautifully. I'm so sorry for your loss, but so glad you got the chance to say goodbye xxx

  16. i am going through this right now… that horrible part before the finish. i feel gut wrenchingly sick and have a sadness that i have never felt before and an anxiety like none other.

    I am sending all my love to you and your family at this HORRIBLE time.

    It feels so hard to go on. Continue life like normal when someone so important has just left us!

    x

  19. Gosh you've so eloquently described my feelings I had/have when my grandfather passed away. That feeling that your life has changed forever, you are totally devastated yet those around you carry on not a clue just how the world has lost someone so amazing and so important. My grandad was nicknamed bluey too.

    My love to you L, and S – strength and gentle hugs to you all xxxx

  20. I'm sorry for your family's loss. You almost described perfectly how I felt when my grandfather passed, but he was gone before I could get back to the town he lived (8 hours away as well) and I arrived to a small country town stricken with grief.

    Lots of healing vibes to you and yours.

  23. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I'm so glad that your hubby was able to be there in time to say goodbye.

    Gentle thoughts for you all. 🙁

  26. Chantelle, still thinking of you and your family. So sorry for your loss of someone so dear, so glad you made it to say goodbye. xx

  33. There is definitely nothing easy about saying goodbye – but try to have peace in the fact that you got to see him that one last time. Life can be so cruel.
    Thinking of you and your family at this awfully tough time.
    X

  35. You wrote so beautifully. It was obvious he was a very special man and person in your life. Brought tears o my eyes and I know neither of you. Condolences.

  36. Sorry for your family's loss Chantelle.

    I like the song “Just Breathe” by Pearl Jam as it ends with “Meet you on the other side”.

    I'm not a religious person but somehow knowing that someone you love is watching over you is nice.

  40. Chantelle, I am deeply sorry to read this. A beautiful piece of writing for what sounds like a truly beautiful soul. Take care precious, I hope the days ahead become gradually easier to face xo

  41. So sorry to hear of Shane's father passing Chantelle. Even more so that Shane had such little time in the end with him. A sad long road for him and his Mum now. Hugs to you all. xxxx

    I have tears thinking about the hurt.

  43. A gorgeous post Chantelle, so sorry to hear of your father in law's passing. Sending you all comforting hugs in such a tough time x

  46. So so sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful pop pop / bluey. He sounds like a wonderful dad & grandpa. My thoughts are with you Chantelle xx

  51. Chantelle, your words are so real and so raw… you write so beautifully. It brought tears to my eyes reading them and picturing what you were going through and then more tears as your words transported me back to losing my own Dad. It is an awfully sad time but please know it does get easier. I am so so sorry for your families loss… sending you much love… Son x

  53. It is always so hard to lose someone so close to your heart. Just knowing they are in a better and happier place is the best thing to imagine. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. xo.

  56. The men from this era were as tough as nails on one hand but as soft as butter on the other. Hard workers and respected was just what was done.
    I've lost both my pops (recently)and one of my Nan's(7yrs of age) I've always had a strong connection to mh Nan for some reason? Make sure you tell Miss L all about him as she grows as it's a great way to stay connected. I'm so sorry for your family's loss. My deepest sympathies and lots of love xx

  57. So sorry to hear of your families loss. Words can not replace the man who has been taken from you but they can help share his memory with all so that he shall never be forgotten.

  63. Oh lovely, Hugs! x

    You were and still are a beautiful daughter in law in all shape and form. He would have loved you and his delightful family SO much, and through all the sadness that has been and will be for a while to come, God will give each and everyone of you comfort in knowing he is no longer in pain and will always be watching over you all.

    My love and prayers are with you all at this sad time. Email me if you want to chat.

    Love & Rainbows,
    Cheryl (Mummatofive) xoxox

  67. oh I'm crying reading this. Sometimes it just happens so fast. You will remember saying your goodbyes. I used to think I could never be there in my mum's last hours but I'm so glad that I was. To say goodbye. You'll think of him everyday. hugs and prayers from me
    corriexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  69. You…are…my…hero!!! I cant believe something like this exists on the internet! Its so true, so honest, and more than that you dont sound like an idiot! Finally, someone who knows how to talk about a subject without sounding like a kid who didnt get that bike he wanted for Christmas.

  72. Outstanding read, I just passed this onto a colleague who was doing a little analysis on that. And he actually bought me lunch because I located it for him smile So let me rephrase that: Thanks for lunch!

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