{image source: miss wallflower}
The other day I spoke in front of a group of people.
Big deal? Yes. It was. The group consisted of 30 people. Pfft. That’s still a big deal. That’s 60 eyes on me.
I am not a fan of public speaking. Not a fan at all. I always did well at public speaking at school, but the lead up was always excruciating. I also spoke at my wedding. But I did have a few champagnes under my belt, and let’s just say I still get ribbed about my speech.
I had a week’s notice for my recent public speaking stint. Which meant I had a week to anxiously ponder and plan, and stress. I knew that I didn’t want to do it, but I knew I had to do it. To grow. To move forward.
I was speaking on a topic I know well, Social Media. I was speaking in front of people I mostly knew.
I sat in the conference room with knots in my stomach, yet feeling oddly calm. I watched the clock and waited for the moment that would see me at the front of the room. A break was called and then I knew that it was time.
Suddenly I felt paralysed. I actually didn’t think I could do it. It felt like my body was made of concrete and there was no way I was going to get it to go where I needed it to. Somehow, I got up and stood in front of everyone. And I spoke.
“I feel like I’m going to vomit!” I laughed, “This public speaking stuff is scary.”
Everyone giggled and laughed. “Imagine us naked,” someone yelled from the back of the room.
I didn’t. I was having a hard enough time imagining what I wanted to say. I got through it. I made sense. I didn’t stutter or stumble. By the end I was actually enjoying it. Enjoying it? Crazy.
My friend Julie gave me the best advice about public speaking, which I unfortunately couldn’t remember in that moment when my body was made of concrete. She says, “No one in that room wants to see you fail. They all want you to succeed. They all want you to do well.”
And thankfully I did just fine.
Does the idea of public speaking scare you? What’s one of your fears that you’d like to overcome?
Public speaking terrifies me, but like you, it's often the lead up rather than the actual speaking that scares me the most. Even for a tiny three minute presentation at uni, I'll spend the days (sometimes even weeks) before with this anxiety hanging over me. Once it's done, it's like the biggest relief in the world! xxx
“No one in that room wants to see you fail. They all want you to succeed. They all want you to do well.”
That is FANTASTIC advice. And so true, no-one (well, no-one worth caring about!) does want the speaker to stuff it up.
I've had to do various kinds of public speaking throughout uni and in my career – I don't mind it too much but I know I'm nervous even if I'm completely comfortable with the topic by the way I start to lose my voice. My throat obviously tightens up and my voice starts to fail after about half an hour.
I can talk all day though in a classroom of kids!
Your post today is ironic. I was talking with someone about my fear of public speaking and she suggested I look into a local Toastmasters International Group. I went online, and think I might just do this!!! Having lost my husband to Frontotemporal Degeneration 6 months ago, I am in the process of working as a facilitator for families who are going through this same thing. I will let you know how things go!!!
That's a fantastic piece of advice from your friend. Surprisingly, speaking in public does not terrify me. In my 'former life' as a university professor I had to do it a lot (including grad school and not just classroom lectures). I took a couple of different speech classes in college and they were ok, but I vividly recall my first speech at a scientific conference. I was terrified. At some point during the 12 minute presentation, I got in the groove, and I don't remember what switched. But I will take speaking in public any day over mingling in a ccrowd rotfl!! I don't know why it is but being in a group of people, eeven ones that I know terrifies me. I just want to go sit in a corner aand read or something.
Oh yes totally!! My entire voice freezes and becomes this little nervous girly voice. Well done you 🙂
'Feel the Fear and do it anyway' was a book I read in high school and it changed my life.
I don't love public speaking but I don't hate it either. Good on you for getting up and doing it anyway! That's one more practice, one more step towards being a rocking public speaker!
Thanks for that little bit of motivation for my morning! xoxo.
Not my favourite thing at all! I sweat and panic, and if anyone asks me a question, I freeze. I'm not sure I want to overcome that fear! My problem is that this fear extends into speaking on the phone, which IS something I *need* to overcome!
Julie's advice was probably better than mine, which was to get three-quarter's of the way drunk.
Well done – hats off to you – I know that there is now way I could have done that ! Be proud of what you have accomplished.
I love public speaking. Sure I get nervous, but it's a real adrenaline rush. I agree with your friend – everyone in the audience WANTS you to succeed. I've always tried to remember that.
What great advice from your friend. Yes it terrifies me also! I'd much rather be an audience member. I'm sure you rocked it though 🙂
I actually love public speaking, but I get weird with plain one on one conversations, especially if I know other people are around to hear/see the conversation. Like I hate ordering food in places like starbucks or panera. I know. I'm weird!
http://ahopelessnotebook.blogspot.com/
I don't mind speaking in public so much (but then again, most of the public speaking I've done since uni has been at parties and weddings, where people WANT you to be funny and charming and they'll laugh at the weakest of jokes!). But that advice is so true – no one wants to see another person get up there and bomb. Plus, a big smile and a lame joke can go a long way!
I love this. I don't really have a problem with public speaking… but there are a lot of other things that scare the hell out of me! They keep me from pursuing my dreams and it is a constant struggle to overcome them. It sounds like you did a great job!
oh yes, I'm often asked to speak at staff meetings. Give me a classroom full of kids anytime! Have to do it this friday(explain how a technology piece works at our school) and am NOT looking forward to it, but will be brave!
I am not a big fan of public speaking at all. My mouth gets dry and I feel sick to my stomach. But once I start talking things get a little easier. I will always hate it though.
Congrats on overcoming it!
Oh yes I know how you feel Chantelle – I have had to do a little in the past year and I don't enjoy it – not something that comes easily or I can say I enjoy and I spent 10 years as an aerobics instructor in front of people every day! I seem to pull it off but I just I am not comfortable – pleased it went well for you – would love to have been there – sounds like something I needed to be at!!! Leanne
Good on you Chantelle. Nope public speaking is not an issue for me but I can relate to getting nervous stepping outside my comfort zone.
Well done to you and great advice from your friend. I am like you – it is the lead up – i did a talk last year for about 30 or so people as well. I also felt like I would vomit and/or cry. I had been fine in the weeks leading up to it but the last 24 hours were painful – in the end it was great. Now I hope to build on that and tell myself how it worked out last time etc.
Well done!
I did a fair amount of it in school, and I used to get very nervous beforehand. I actually find a larger room of people is easier to get up in front of than a smaller room! A big crowd is just a sea of faces before you that you don't really focus on, but a small room is more distinct faces. I'd consider 30 pretty small! So, more difficult as far as I'm concerned.
I don't have to do it often, but I don't find it as scary now. I think your friend's advice is spot on. Put it this way: there aren't too many people in the crowd thinking, 'Gosh, I wish I was up there talking,' so they think you're pretty awesome you're even standing there!
Great Job, fighting thrugh your fear. It's not easy speaking in public.
I'm not fond of public speaking but have to run lots of training through my job. For me it's never got easier, it's still the lead up and anticipation that does me in, rather than the actual presenting.
I LOVE the advice though, I think I'll put that up at work as a reminder when I have to present.
Well done to you! Conquering your fear like that is so inspirational. I imagine that you would be a very, very good speaker once you found your happy place. x
Yah for you..is this the one you were talking about a few months ago? I am not really into it either, especially if you have to talk about yourself..I bet you did great guns and everyone is still talking about it.x
Well Done! I couldnt do it!
What a great story, I laughed at your comment of feeling like concrete. I feel myself blushing before I even begin talking, so it is never a good start!! :/
I have to do a fair bit of public speaking in my job (mostly client presentations and that kind of thing) and although I don't mind it, I still always get a few butterflies just before I have to start. It always works out in the end though. Good on you for getting through it.
x
I hated public speaking for a very long time, as I am not a person that likes to make mistakes, especially not in front of a roomful of other people. I moved to Latin America a few years ago and was required to speak to groups weekly – and in Spanish! As I'm not a native Spanish speaker, it was actually easier for me to reconcile the fact that I'd make mistakes no matter what. Now I love speaking and facilitating (in Spanish and English).
wow…. thanks for this post! I just found out I have to give a presentation to about 30 people (mostly clients) a week from today. And I'm deathly afraid of public speaking. It's a topic I know well… so thanks, and thanks to Julie for the tip! (except one person might actually want me to fail. egads)
You did it! You did it! Yay you! I enjoy it too… after a while 🙂
well done you! I know that feeling well and its almost like the thought of doing a bungee jump!
Its not easy. Congrats!!!
My fear isn't public speaking as such, but singing. I could have made it with my voice, but fear creeped in and took over. I used to sing in front of thousands, and now I cannot even sing in front of my husband. It makes me so vulnerable and sick… I just can't do it, and I probably never will.
I take my hat off to you for taking the plunge. You have far more guts than I do… and to have succeeded, well that's just fantastic 🙂
xx
Public speaking makes me pukey. As do lots of things. I was on a TV show in my past. And, the line I'm most quoted back to myself is the one where I exclaimed I was planning to barf on my feet. In a store. Not my most shining moment, but a testament to my proclivity to barf. I'm happy you didn't. And that things went well.
No, I love the challenge, the adrenaline. I'd love, for my own benefit, to overcome the fear of running in public. I'd like to enjoy a run with my husband without thinking that every passer by is laughing at my run or that I can't keep up or that I'm breathless. I want to run, but the thought of it makes me cringe! Help!
Good for you! Public speaking is probably my biggest fear. Even in front of friends and family, I can't do it. I had a surprise party for my husband last year and everyone expected me to give a speech. Not a chance. I applaud the fact that you were scared but did it anyways. Both of my kids are fine with public speaking. In fact, my son has started doing stand-up comedy! My daughter doesn't like it but more and more they are made to do oral presentations in class and she manages.
I used to be afraid of public speaking…then I taught 6th grade science where I had to not only speak, but also get between twenty and thirty 11 year olds to listen to me, stay in their seats, be on task, and not injure themselves. Since then, I have come to LOVE public speaking – OHMYGOD an audience that is going to sit quietly and respectfully and LISTEN to me!!!
Good for you for facing the fear!!!
Yes. It scares me a lot. It is my biggest weak. That is why I am writing a blog. I made the chakra test and my throat chackra is completely close. Here is a video on youtube about throat chackra: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7mMhnd80gM&list=FLmn6vL85gzipehNXD-cIAdA&index=1&feature=plpp_video
Please watch it if you have this problem. The video is great. I truly believe in this things.
The energy master Carol Tuttle recommends to watch the movie “The king speech” I rented the movie and watched it 2 days in a row. I just don't have problems to speak in public but, to tell what I really feel and think. I am working so hard to open my throat chackra.
I don't know you of course but I feel proud of you anyway! Speaking in public is a BIG deal – at least I think so. I used to be in a band with my husband and three other guys and I would get sickly nervous before every show. But somehow I survived! 🙂
xo
cortnie
I remember the first time I spoke in front of people. I was nervous, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought! Good for you- speaking like that!
And I am new to your blog, lovely place! I am a new blogger, and about to give my blog a face lift. Hope you come over and check it out soon!
Public speaking is one of my biggest fears, despite being an orator champion in middle school & having to stand before a packed auditorium full of students, teachers & parents to recite famous poems & speeches practiced for weeks. It was still terrifying. I also had to speak publicly rather often at my former job & did it for years but it never got easy. The stomach-knots, the nervousness & dry throat. Ugh! Congrats to you, you felt the fear & did it anyway. Once you find that comfort level that usually only comes from commanding your subject matter and feeling a sense of ease from the room, it can become enjoyable but the first time of every time is always a fright. : )
this is exactly what i needed today. public speaking actually does not scare me a bit – but starting this new food blog i want to start does…. everyone wants to be successful you know? not to mention i feel everyone want to be a successful blogger these days. i'm terrified of failing. but, alas, i must listen to my guts and go forward.
so glad to hear everything went well for you 😉
I find public speaking insanely hard. Give me a few wines and a room full of people and I can talk crap at the top of my voice, but a bunch of sober people all waiting for me to tell them something intelligent makes me want to vomit and lie down in foetal position whilst my heart stops.
I love what your friend said. I am going to take that with me the next time I have to do a presentation. One of the great joys of growing up, is you get let in on all these amazing snippets of information. It is funny that I have never thought of it that way.
Congrats on doing something outside your comfort.
good on you! a fear of mine and many people's greatest fear.
new follower.
x
I came over on a link for the photo challenge and read this. I just want to say, “good for you!” I like what your friend said and will try to remember it when ever I have to speak, which is semi-monthly and I still hate it every time.
So so glad I found your blog ! Just wanted to say thanks for hosting the photo contest, I am really excited about it!
xo. Britt
http://www.themagnoliapair.com
I had the chance to act in a position managing a commonwealth agency a couple of years back and I had to talk at a press conference to introduce an MP and some other guest speakers to a big sea of cameras and those big fluffy microphones. I was nervous but I thought once I start talking Ill be OK but when I opened my mouth only a squeaky mouse voice came out and I never recovered. I sounded like Peter Brady in the Brady Bunch when his voice broke. My colleagues were at the back of the room laughing at me…I cried in the toilets for an hour. Devastating!!
I am one of the most talkative people I know, however, I have the same fear of public speaking. After taking a semester of speech in college, I realized that I really love public speaking.
One of my biggest fears is going back to college with a 4 year old, going to KG and a 11 year old going to middle school in the Fall and working a full time job with 1 hr 30 min commmute morning and evening. I know that other single parents have made it work but to me it seems impossible. I want to set a good example and land a better job by padding my resume with a college degree but After being out of college for 8 years I'm petrified.
I just found your blog today. Thank you for photo challenge. It is definitely something that I will be participating in.
I am a very social person, but I do not do well with public speaking. I get sick to my stomach before hand and jittery. However, once I am actually speaking things seem to work themselves out. Kuddos for you doing something out of your comfort zone.
I also get nervous but not to the stage, where i don't want to make the speech.
I have been thinking about taking some voice training though, as nerves seems to get to my voice. Would be nice to be capable of controlling the voice in stressed situations.
im sure you did amazing! public speaking is my biggest fear… i could never talk in a full room… i can barely talk to a small group! i adore this poster and need one for my wall… rowe x
I've historically hated public speaking, but being in choir for eight years in high school and college got me used to being up in front of people. Speaking in public is still not my favorite thing but it doesn't panic me like it used to.